12 Ways to Feel More Attractive Without Actually Changing How You Look


When you are busy — whether it is with your kids, caring for an aging parent, investing in friendships, or diving into a job you love — it can be especially hard to feel attractive. When you don't have the energy or time to focus on how you look, or when you end up neglecting the things that make you feel the most attractive, it's even easier to feel ugly and dump on your appearance. (See also: Want to Be More Attractive? Work These 5 Words (and Phrases) Into Your Vocabulary)

But there are some easy ways to feel better about how you look, even when you can't do a whole lot to change your features or your figure.

1. Don't Compare Yourself

Or, at least, don't compare yourself with people whose bodies are unrealistic goals for most of humanity. If your standard of attractiveness is too high, you'll always be discouraged. Since most of us will compare ourselves whether we want to or not, try to compare yourself to other normal people in your culture, and who are about your age. This will make you feel so much more attractive than when you compare yourself to unachievable ideals.

2. Wear Sexy Clothes No One Can See

In most contexts, you won't want to wear especially sexy clothes on the outside. However, wearing that silky something just because you want to do it can make you feel so much more attractive, not to mention confident. If sexiness isn't your thing, you can wear clothes that are special for you. Hide your ninja socks in your tall boots or sneak a snakeskin belt under an oversized shirt, and you will feel more attractive than ever.

3. Focus on Other People

If you think about yourself all the time, you'll become more and more self-conscious. Instead, think about other people. Make attempts to talk, to draw them out of their shells, and even to connect people to each other. When you're doing this, your feelings of insecurity will grow smaller and smaller, which means that you'll feel better about who you are and how you look.

4. Know What You Love About Yourself

Even if you don't love the way you look and feel chronically underappreciated, there are things about yourself that you like. Make a list of these, and refer to it until you can remember these things by heart. When you know what you like about yourself, you will feel more confident about yourself in all areas, including how you look.

5. Think Positive Thoughts

Try consciously thinking, "my eyes are a gorgeous shade of blue," as opposed to just focusing on your flaws. This will help you balance the places where you aren't attractive with the places where you are, which will raise how you feel about your looks overall.

6. Smile More

Smiling makes you feel happier. And, when you feel happier, you are likely to feel good about yourself and your life, including how you look. While smiling may also influence how other people see you, this is just for you. Smile to feel better about everything in your life, including your appearance.

7. Stand Up Straight

Square your shoulders and remind yourself that you can take on the world if you have to. When you are able to look the world in the eye, you will feel better about all aspects of who you are. This means you'll feel more attractive, and also more powerful, more influential, and more confident.

8. Remember What Your Body Can Do

When you feel unattractive, it's easy to focus on all of the things that are wrong with your body. When you think about what your body can do, the gifts it gives you, you will feel more attractive simply because you will feel better about your body, and it's hard to think well of something and be down on it at the same time.

9. Make Something You Are Proud Of

This may seem counterintuitive, but think about it. When you create something that makes you glad, it's easier to feel attractive. Even if you still aren't thrilled with your appearance, you will be reminded of your inner beauty and the things that you can create from the lovely place. Focusing on inner beauty may seem cheesy, but the truth is that who you are on the inside counts for so much more, and making things will help you remember this.

10. Find Clothes You Love

It's hard to feel unattractive when you are wearing clothes that you love. Even if you love a dress because it is so soft or a shirt because of the way it feels against your skin, you will feel better about your body and, therefore, should feel more attractive, too. If you don't know how to find clothes you love, go shopping with someone who loves to shop. They should be able to help you find exactly what you need to feel better.

11. Lower Your Stress Level

Stress can make us anxious and we are more likely to feel unattractive when we are anxious. Thus, it makes sense that lowering your stress level would make you feel better about your appearance. If you're not sure how to do this, try taking some down time. Do something you love, even if you only have 15 minutes. Read, watch TV, paint, or cook, then check in with how attractive you feel when you're done.

12. Say "Thank You"

When you give thanks, you focus on what is good about your life. If you're feeling unattractive, focus on things you're thankful for about your body. You may love the texture of your hair, or the way your calves fit so well in boots. Even if most of the things you're thankful for are little, the act of giving thanks for them will help you feel more attractive. (See also: The One Word You Need to Start Using Today to Have a Better Life)

How do you help yourself feel more attractive when you're down on yourself? What do you love to do that makes you feel like you look good?

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Guest's picture

Not comparing yourself and dressing up for yourself are two huge ways that make a difference in how you feel. It's amazing what a little makeup and a nice outfit can do to your attitude and energy!

Guest's picture

A great list. For those who don't go out to job every morning, I'd add one more. I work at home and can sit down to the computer in my jammies or some baggy sweat pants and my husband's old t-shirt. I've done it many times. But now my morning routine starts with getting fully dressed and putting on a little makeup. I've also discovered I look better in tints (colors with a soft dusty look) and I stick to those for all my clothes, no matter what.