Get your PC to give you coffee, bacon or even an orgasm.


As a frugal shopper, I like to make my products work hard. If I can get something to double as an equally handy item (for instance, a belt buckle that opens beer bottles, a portable TV that's also a flashlight) then I'm happy.

So, I'm sat researching articles for Wisebread and I look down at my computer, ashamed. It has only ever been a computer. Surely, I thought, some bright sparks out there have figured out ways to make the PC into something so much more. Well, they have. Boy, they have. They're called casemods, and I found so many different functions for the humble PC that I was blown away. Until...until...

...I found the USB gadgets! And I was even more amazed. So, I present to you my findings for making your PC work oh so much harder than it ever has before. Get it to brew you a coffee, a beer or even get some bacon grilling. I'm not kidding. If you're a lady, your PC can even give you an orgasm. Now that is double-duty and then some.

1- The Coffee Brewing PC. - This one has been around for a while. I had some trouble digging up specs on how to do it yourself, but I did come up with a few leads here .


2 - The Beer Machine. - Presumed at first to be a prank, but from what little info I found this one actualy looks feasible. Of course, mixing beer with electricity, especially something as sensitive as a PC, maybe foolhardy. Here's a link to set you on the path....


3 - The Hamster House - And why not? It's warm, it's right next to you as you play your games, it's a greatr pet home. I think. I wouldn't want to find poop in my RAM though. No details on this unusual build other than this link here .

And then...the USB gadgets....

4 - The USB Vibrator with multiple attachments - Ladies, now you know what to ask Santa for. This little package of pleasure was originally invented by Brits (so I'm told...hey, I'm happy to believe it). It retails for $36.95 here and the write up is, well, pretty good: -

Completely controlled by a tiny microprocessor, the vibrator compontents can easily be manipulated to give you an ultimate deep and penetrating orgasm. It has 10 unique preset pulse/vibrate rhythms, includes 5 interchangable latex probes and a Self Adjustable Finger Ring Vibrating bullet.



5 - The USB Pencil Sharpener - Now, if you're hard at work at your PC and still have the urge to do things the old-fashioned way, here's a cute gadget. It all runs off the PC power, again. Keep 'em sharp. Only $7.95, right here .

6 - The Homemade USB B-B-Q - I'll be honest...from the pictures I've seen, I'll pass on a sandwhich made from this stuff. Yikes. But if you do happen to be hungry and want some fresh-grilled pork, a few USB cables and a heating plate will do it. Find out more here .


7 - The USB laser-guided missile Launcher - Let's face it...when your boss sneaks up behind you at work, wouldn't it be great to give him both barrels? Well, do so at your own risk, but here's the price - just $49.99 right here .

8 - The USB fragrance burner - If you've been grilling bacon and chugging beer and coffee at your PC, this one could come in handy. A nice, pleasant device in an array of quite silly macho toys. Only $9.50 from MWAVE (but they recently ran out of stock).


9 - The USB Vacuum cleaner - So, let's imagine that you're chewing on your freshly grilled bacon sandwhich from your USB griller, and breadcrumbs fall into your keyboard. No problem. Simply pop in the USB vacuum and clean up the mess. Simple. $14.95, here .


10 - The USB Lava Lamp - 70's retro-chic updated with a 2007 twist. Not quite as funky as the original, but hey, it works off your PC's power and that kind of energy-saving, right-on idea is very hip and trendy, baby. Just $12.97 from many outlets including this one .


11 - USB heating gloves - A great invention if you happen to by typing in an igloo, but I really don't see the point otherwise. But if you do happen to suffer from cold hands instead of cold feet, pick up a pair. They'll keep your toasty. $22.99 from Perpetual Kid .


12 - The USB Butt Cooler - If you happen to have a hot butt (and I don't mean that in the way it sounds...or do I?) then you'll benefit from the USB butt cooler. Just plug it into your USB port and your cheeks will not be rosy for hours. I only found it in Japan, here .


On my internet travels, I also found USB slippers, a coffee mug warmer, a desk fan, beverage cooler, ashtray and many more weird and wonderful things. One great site to get you started is

Now, go put the PC to work.

Photo from

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Jessica Okon's picture

Paul that post not only made my day, also made me consider getting a pet hamster.

Andrea Karim's picture

Me, I'm going to make the vibrating mittens. That's right, I said mittens. What?

Guest's picture

Best list of gifts for computer lovers. Evar.