personal development

16 Ways You Are Causing Road Rage

Mikey Rox — Mon, 22 Sep 2014 15:00:11 +0000

Ever gotten into such a tizzy in the car that your head nearly exploded? You're not the only one. SafeMotorist.com reports that 66% of traffic fatalities are caused by aggressive driving — or "road rage" — and half of drivers who are on the receiving end of an aggressive behavior, such as horn honking, a rude gesture, or tailgating admit to responding with aggressive behavior themselves. (See also: 12 Ways You're Driving Your Coworkers Insane)

You can help prevent road rage, however, if you drive responsibly and recognize the common catalysts for most incidents. In no particular order, here are 16 highly contentious vehicular sins you might be committing that have the potential to escalate to a dangerous level.

1. Driving Slow in the Fast Lane and Refusing to Move Over

It's hard choose the most offensive of all driving offenses from this list, but this one is definitely near the top. There's nothing that will have me calling you all kinds of names not fit for church if you're driving five miles or more under the speed limit in the left lane of the highway. And on two lane highways? It's called the "passing lane." If you aren't passing, move right!

2. Keeping Pace With the Car Next to You So No One Behind Can Pass

Yeah, you know this guy. He's driving the exact speed as the car next to him so nobody behind can pass. Not only is this really creepy — I don't want some stranger staring me down for an extended period of time while I'm driving — but it's also downright rude. Speed up or fall back so I can escape this torture already.

3. Riding Your Brakes for No Apparent Reason

What's that ahead of you? Oh, nothing? You just want to press on your brakes every 10 seconds because you feel like 25 in a 35-mile-per-hour zone is too fast? Or maybe you're just a poor driver who needs to be reevaluated by the DMV. Whatever the case, get with the program pal; people are losing their patience.

4. Endangering Lives Because You're Fiddling With Your Phone

Everybody thinks that they've mastered the skill — and maybe you have — but you also have to consider the unpredictability of other drivers on the road who can do any number of things to affect your own driving. The National Safety Council reports that more than 25% of all automobile crashes are associated with cell phone use these days. And if you're not paying attention, the potential outcome of this situation can be worse than you've ever imagined. If you're at fault, you might be paying for it for the rest of your life. Listen to Oprah, folks; don't text (or talk or browse the Internet) and drive.

5. Flying Into a Rage for No Good Reason

Did the driver that offended you really do something so bad that you now have to go to confession this weekend? Probably not, so why did you react so aggressively?

Author Rachelle Henry thinks that it's important to not project your feelings onto others — especially when in the car — if they really didn't do anything wrong. "When I had a job that I hated, every morning during my morning commute someone managed to upset me by doing something 'stupid,' and I would become irrationally angry," she says. "When I no longer had that job and was happy, I let things roll off of me." It's all about perspective, my friends. Evaluate your happiness level to see if there's a reason you're lashing out prematurely.

6. Failing to Use Blinkers When Changing Lanes

How am I supposed to know that you'd like to get in front of me or that you'd like to glide across three lanes of traffic in an attempt to avoid missing the exit if you don't have a blinker on? I don't — which makes for an excellent case in court when you cause a crash.

7. Speeding Up When You Spot Someone Trying to Merge

It never fails that as soon as I turn my blinker on to merge into another lane, the person trailing behind me in the intended lane suddenly gets a lead foot. It's one of those give-me-strength moments that are best handled with regulated breathing and a long count to 10.

8. Turning on Your Blinker Two Seconds Before You Turn

It would be nice to know that you'd like to make that right turn more than a few seconds before you make it. But what do you care, right? If I rear-end you, it's my fault regardless. Don't be that person.

9. Weaseling Your Way Into the On- or Off-Ramp at the Last Second

Listen, I live in Manhattan, where traffic is treacherous nearly 24/7, so I understand the plight of not wanting to wait in line for another dreadful few minutes to take the next exit. But have some compassion. The folks ahead of you have been waiting longer than you, so it's a real you-know-what move to cut them off so you can get home quicker.

It might also be helpful to know that you could become fodder for someone else when you act a fool, like so many people did for Kerri Kochanski, author of 1,001 People That Suck, which features an entire chapter on road rage. "One day I was so aggravated by a driver who cut me off," she says. "Instead of stalking and confronting the driver, or turning my anger inward, I decided to write a book about this person — and other anonymous people who do rude, crappy things and get away with it. Maybe they wouldn't suffer a consequence from their actions, but at least they would be 'officially' labeled as 'people that suck.' And that would make me feel better, and it would prevent me from landing in jail."

10. Blasting Your Horn Prematurely

The light just turned green. Give the driver a break before you fly into a blaring, obnoxious fit because they didn't take off like it's the Daytona 500 the moment the light changed.

11. Rubbernecking

We're all guilty of this, which is the problem. Rubbernecking jams up the road so badly that the delay can last for miles — even when the accident is on the other side of the road. As soon as you pass it, however, it's a wide-open highway. Why, whhhhhy do we do this to ourselves?

12. Bicyclists Who Don't Follow the Rules of the Road

I've seen bicyclists who have purposefully gone the opposite way of oncoming traffic, those who have blown through red lights with absolutely no regard for drivers, and riders who take up a regular traffic lane with their 14-miles-per-hour nonsense and don't give a lick that anybody's behind them. Note to all the bicyclists out there: You're riding a bike; the rest of us are driving cars. One hurts a whole lot more than the other, so be courteous and obey the rules.

13. Holding Up Turning Traffic When You're Not Turning in a Turn-Only Lane

Many times this is a mistake, so I'll just impart on you that it's important to pay attention to the signs painted on the road ahead of you. If you're not turning, you shouldn't be in the turn-only lane holding up everybody else. That's a real good way to get beeped to death in some places.

14. Multitasking at the Wheel

We've already discussed how you shouldn't fiddle with your phone while you're driving, but there are other distractions that can cause problems on the road. Here's a quick list of no-nos: Eating, putting on makeup, reading a newspaper (I have seen this in action and I was in total shock), doing anything with the person in the passenger seat that would be deemed illegal if you got caught, doing anything with yourself that would be deemed illegal if you got caught. Focus on safe driving so everybody gets home with all the parts with which they started the day.

15. Standing in a Parking Space to Save It

I believe in first-come, first-served, so if the vehicle is not around to claim a spot, you shouldn't have your body in it so nobody else can take it; that's not how this works.

Last holiday season I encountered a girl in a parking space that she refused to give up to four nice ladies in a car that pulled up because her "mother was on the way." She also claimed that her mother was handicapped, at which point I showed her the very available handicapped spot just across the street. She didn't want to hear any of it, refused to budge, and basically wore the four nice ladies down until they moved along. Of course, when her mother showed up (who was driving and also flipped the ladies off), the only handicap she appeared to have was an incredibly rude daughter.

16. Swooping Into a Parking Spot That Has Been Claimed by Another Driver

This is another personal situation I've dealt with, and maybe you have too. I drove around a busy parking lot on a Saturday afternoon for what seemed like forever until I finally found a spot. I put my blinker on and waited for the car to pull out so I could pull in. Before I had a chance, however, a car swooped in from the opposite direction and slid right in. And wouldn't you know that she had the audacity to start screaming at me when I expressed my frustration at her for being selfish and inconsiderate? Soooome people!

Do you have driving scenarios that are likely to send someone into road rage that you'd like to add? I'd love to hear your stories in the comments section below.

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This article is from Mikey Rox of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

15 Tested Tips for Creative Efficiency

Annie Mueller — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:36:23 +0000

Creative pursuits and efficiency don't always seem to go together; in fact, our age-old wisdom tells us that in order to be truly creative, we need wide open swaths of time, unbounded by other obligations like work, kids, and the need to get dinner on the table. (See also: Fun and Cheap Ways to Get Creative When You’re Bored)

Then there's real life, which includes work, kids, the need to get dinner on the table…little things like that which won't go away. Life won't be put on hold while we decide to get creative.

So what's the answer? Unless we've found "being creative" a way to also earn a living, we find ourselves having to fit our creative pursuits around the edges of our day. If you're in a boat like mine, you're trying to do all that and then some: being a mom, while also using your creative skills (in my case, writing) to supplement your family's income… oh, and also carve a little time in to write that novel or book of poems that you don't expect will make you any money but which simply must be written.

I'm writing this right now with my third child snuggled up next to me. He's 2 1/2, and he and the other three kids have been sick for the last week. We're all starting to get better now, but for the last seven days I've not had more than a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep at a time. To say I'm tired is a drastic understatement. My oldest is five. My youngest is 5 months. Also, right now, we're living in my in-laws' basement due to the black mold problem discovered in our house. We've been living away from home for a couple of weeks, running back and forth to get what we need, moving back in once only to find more mold so moving back out again. Needless to say, my life is a bit unsettled.

What I'm trying to say with that long drawn-out story is that life is rarely going to bless you with long open hours to sit around and paint portraits or write songs or write novels.

If you want the time, you have to fight for it. And chances are, you'll win it in minutes and snatches, not in hours and days.

So here are 15 tips I've discovered/gathered/collected from the last seven years of being a wife, a mom, and someone who values creativity too much to let it wait until the kids are grown and we're retired and I have all the time in the world. Which I don't expect will happen anyway (the all the time in the world part, I mean. I do expect the kids to be grown, someday).

1. Create simple routines for your day

Routines simplify the repetitive tasks of the day, helping you to get them done on autopilot so your brain is free for creative pursuits while your body does the routine work.

2. Keep your supplies on hand

Accessibility is a big part of being more creative. If you have to get involved in any sort of major set-up before you can be creative, you're putting up a road block.

3. Focus on one project at a time

It simplifies what your brain needs to do, and allows your unconscious to work on the project and be ready with creativity when the time comes.

4. Do something related to your art every single day

Keep it fresh and front of mind. Even if all you have time for is something very basic, get in five minutes of an activity related to your creative project. For a writer, that could be just keeping a daily journal, or a five-minute creative writing break. For artists, it could be making a sketch, or reviewing your sketches.

5. Have an easy way to catch ideas

Keep a notebook in your pocket or get good at quickly recording ideas on your phone. They don't need to be good ideas, just treat them as valuable and put them in a place where you can find them later. This has a double benefit of freeing your brain up from the work of holding those ideas and giving you a place to start when you're out of ideas, later.

6. Focus on one medium/method at a time

Focus is powerful; it sets boundaries for your creativity, which actually kicks it into gear.

7. Immerse yourself

Read books on or related to your creative pursuit. Read biographies, or watch biographies and documentaries of others in the field. Go to workshops, talk to peers, listen to inspiring music, study, immerse yourself in what you're doing and things related to it. Give your brain plenty of fodder.

8. Think in 5- to 10-minute blocks

What can you do in five minutes? In ten minutes? Think in these terms. It's different than having hours of unbroken time, but that kind of luxury isn't always possible. Five minutes is long enough to write a few sentences, analyze the light in the corner, listen to the line of a song, try a new stitch pattern, match some colors, play with a logo design. It's not enough to do everything, or even much, but it's enough to do something.

9. Make creativity mobile

How can you work on your creative project while you're on the go? Can you listen to related recordings, podcasts, music? Can you jot down ideas in your notebook? Talk about it with a peer or mentor?

10. Eliminate time wasters that eat up your free time

Keep a time log if you're not sure what your time wasters are. You'll find some. Pick one, and get it out of your life.

11. Turn off the TV

It eats your time and your brain cells. If you truly want time to do your creative work, kill it. For that matter, unplug yourself entirely when you're off work and able to be unavailable. Silence the phone, shut down the browser. Give your brain some free space.

12. Train your muse

Do some work every day at the same time in the same place. It trains your muse to show up and be ready.

13. Hang out with inspiring people

Find the people in your life who inspire you to work harder, think bigger, be better. Put yourself around them. Limit your time around the people who distract you with gossip, negativity, same-old same-old ruts of life.

14. Define creative work so you know when you're doing it

There are so many ways to be creative. You probably have a lot more creativity in your life than you know. Cooking, baking, sewing, humming, playing games… define creativity beyond art/music/writing.

15. Use your creative strengths on obligatory tasks

Need to plan a birthday party? Find a way to use your creative strengths. You'll pull off a better party and use the time "planning" as creative time. Try to do that with everything possible: volunteer for things that fit your creatively. Take on the work projects that allow you to use your creative strengths. So on.

What are your tips for creative efficiency? How do you fit creative work into your busy life? Share in the comments so we can all benefit.

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This article is from Annie Mueller of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Reverse Bucket List: Look Back Before Looking Forward

Nora Dunn — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:36:11 +0000

Everybody has a bucket list — a random list of things we'd like to do, be, or have before we “kick the bucket.” Some people make do with rough mental compilations, while others prefer their bucket lists typed, formatted, and prominently displayed. (See also: Goal Setting, Defined and Deconstructed)

But what of the bucket list? Where is the context? How satisfied will we feel about our lives today if we're constantly studying a list of things we haven't done? Where do we even begin with a list like this, instigated no less by a big clock in the sky counting us down towards an unknown “bucket date?”

I get panicky just thinking about it.

Although a bucket list can be motivational, I believe that in and of itself it can be more crippling than empowering. In order for a bucket list to reach its true potential, I think we should first start with a Reverse Bucket List.

What's a Reverse Bucket List?

In order to gauge where we're going, it's always good to know where we've come from. Creating a context of our journey thus far is imperative to understanding why we want the things we want, and ultimately, how to get them.

A Reverse Bucket List is a list of things that we think are “bucket list worthy,” but that we've already done. It's a creative way of reflecting on your life thus far and taking note of the some of the experiences that really sang to you.

Not only is it fun, but you might be surprised by what you've already done in your life. (Conversely, you may realize you need to get out of the house more.)

Either way, it's all good.

Reverse Bucket List Exercise

You may want to structure the exercise of making your Reverse Bucket List using the method for devising 100 ways to change your life.

By doing it as a fast-paced brainstorming exercise, you may be surprised at what makes its way on to your Reverse Bucket List. There are no right or wrong answers — only your own answers. It's your life, and your reverse bucket list; write down as many things as you can, without worrying about what you're actually writing. We'll get to that later.

Here are a few general ideas to get your reflective juices flowing:

Achievements or awards you've received
Fears you've conquered
Careers you've had
Friends you've made and people you've met
Places you've traveled to
Anything that's worthy of a story you tell other people
Goals and milestones you reached
Childhood dreams (no matter how silly in retrospect) you achieved
Bizarre or fun things that have happened to you or that you've done

What to Do With Your List

This isn't a pesky to-do list or a vision board that requires prominent display as a reminder of what you need to do or where you're going.

Instead, it's more in the act of constructing and initially reviewing your Reverse Bucket List that you will see the benefits.

Once you've finished writing out your Reverse Bucket List, read through it. What do you think? Do you notice any themes? Are there any gaps? How does reading this list make you feel?

Regardless of whether you feel there's too little or too much on your Reverse Bucket List, you might discover some of the things on it are surprising, even illuminating. And they might lead you to your next step.

The Next Step

Using the observations you made above, now is a great time to project your Reverse Bucket List forward. To reverse the Reverse Bucket List, as it were.

Here are some exercises you can do from here:

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This article is from Nora Dunn of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Execution, Not Ideas, is Key. Duh!

David Ning — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 12:00:10 +0000

My wife was all excited when she came to me with a business idea. She happily explained the ins and outs of it, when I said "Great! Now go start the site."

"Wait," she interrupted. "I was expecting you to turn this awesome idea into reality..."

I'm well-versed in this type of conversation now, actually. People who know me personally have heard that I was having a bit of luck with "this whole internet thing," and someone would mention their idea to me every once in a while thinking I will make it happen and give them half the proceeds.

"That sounds like a terrific idea," I usually respond, "but there is quite a bit on my plate right now." You see, it's not that those ideas aren't good. Most of them are actually brilliant. Yet, the exciting part is not the idea. I'm not short of ideas. In fact, I bet most successful entrepreneurs have a ton of those, too. It's just that even though the idea is important, brilliance is only possible with persistent execution.

Originality is Not as Important as You Think

Was McDonald's the first fast food store ever opened? Did Walmart invent retail? And is Facebook the first social media website ever created? Hardly. Yet, they still opened shop, worked hard at it, improved on an existing idea, and are now considered innovators in their respective industry.

You can even use a boring idea to get started, but with witty execution, you can turn dull into shiny.

Are You Wasting Your Talent?

Ever heard of someone who told you that you are wasting your talent? To me, there is no such thing as wasting your talent. Someone made that exact comment to me a few years back. "You are wasting your talent." What he really meant was "You are wasting your time and you don't have the talent in the department of work ethics."

You see, having the discipline to work hard when everyone is out partying is talent. Plowing forward when you don't necessary know what is ahead is a talent, and believing in yourself through countless rejection is a talent, too. But sadly, having clever ideas is not a talent.

Don't keep telling yourself that you could be successful if you just tried harder. That is just an excuse. You are either succeeding or you are not. If you aren't trying, you don't have the talent of being able to work hard.

Do you have a business idea? Put it in action.
Are you in a miserable job? Start looking for another one.
Do you wish you had a better relationship with everyone? Start by acting less selfish.
Are you overweight? Start exercising.
Don't have time? Make time. Because if you fail, you can try again.

Stop making excuses and just do it already. Don't wait!

Everybody can come up ideas, but few have the courage and wits to execute them. There are successful people and there are others. You decide which you will be.

This article is from David Ning of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread: