40s

14 Reasons to Celebrate Getting Older

Mikey Rox — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 08:00:07 +0000

I'll be the first to admit that I'm self-conscious about aging. Not so much the number (which is climbing to a hearty 37 years old this year) but rather that I can physically see the youth exiting my body as life experience replaces it. Getting older is a hard pill to swallow, but like everyone else, I have to do it, so why not look at the bright side, right? Thus, here are 14 reasons why blowing out one more birthday candle isn't such a bad thing.

1. You're more comfortable with yourself

Once you get over the hurdle of transitioning from a 20-something-looking 30-something into a full-fledged 40-looking 40-something, it starts to get easier. While I'm still anxious about aging, I'm not as worried about it as I used to be — like when I had five 25th birthdays because turning 30 was just too terrifying. Now I accept the process, plan a great birthday with someone I love, and have fun.

Superficiality aside, there are lots of other things that I'm more comfortable with now versus 10 years ago, like my personal and professional accomplishments, the relationships I have, my own autonomy, and having enough money to splurge on travel and nice dinners instead of bulk-buying ramen and cheap booze.

2. Retirement

If you've done what you can to set yourself up for a comfortable retirement, you can enter your golden years with excitement. Even if your finances aren't quite there yet, you can still make it work. You may not be able to travel the world like you planned, but things change and you'll find a way to make the most of what you've got. (See also: 7 Easiest Ways to Catch Up on Retirement Savings Later in Life)

Full retirement might not be what you want anyway, so part-time retirement may be more your speed. Basically, you'd have the freedom you've envisioned, but you'd fill some of that free time making money doing something you enjoy, like working part-time at a shop in town, driving for Lyft or Uber, or making crafts that you can sell on Etsy.

3. Discounts galore

Senior discounts are awesome, but before you even become an official senior, you'll start getting discounts on things like car insurance, which provides savings based on age and good driving records over time.

4. Your priorities change

What matters most changes as you get older and experience life's milestones, like getting married and having children. Neither of those things are in the cards for me — I did the former once, and that's enough — but my own priorities have changed based on what I would like for my future and how I plan to spend my money, like my mortgage, which is more important than the frivolous stuff on which I used to waste money.

5. Sex is better

Maybe it's because it takes more time in general to do the deed as you get older, but I've found sex to be much more passionate and meaningful in my 30s than it was in my 20s, and that's whether I'm in a relationship or not.

You also become more confident, and less tolerable of selfish partners, so as your standards go up, the sex you have just improves over time.

6. You learn to let the little things go

What mattered when I was younger — every. little. thing. — just doesn't anymore. I don't have the kind of time I did back then to worry about the trivial inconveniences. I brush it off and move on.

7. True friends reveal themselves

We go through a lot throughout our lives, and those crises will make or break friendships and other relationships. I used to think quantity mattered when it came to friends, but in the end, it's the quality of people with whom you surround yourself that will enrich your life.

At this stage, I'd rather have one committed person on the couch with me on a Friday night than pretend to enjoy the company of 20 acquaintances at a club, none of whom would be willing to give me a ride home if I needed it. (See also: 5 Friend Types That Can Hurt Your Finances)

8. Seeking the approval of others is a thing of the past

Do I care what people think about me? Yes. I would be lying if I said I didn't. But as I've gotten older, I care less about how they view me on the surface — how I dress, the way I look, the kind of car I drive — versus how they view my character. I've also accepted that I can't please everybody, so there's no point in trying.

Just do you and everything else will fall into place.

9. You don't have to do things you don't want to

I don't attend holidays or weddings or family vacations that I don't want to anymore. Life is too short to spend so much time (and money) being uncomfortable. Does this hurt other people's feelings? Perhaps. But there's a reason I'm saying no to these events. It's because it makes me feel uncomfortable, and I come first in terms of comfort.

10. You make more money (hopefully)

The older you get, the more experience you gain, and hopefully your paycheck continues to reflect that. Plus, you get to spend money on a home, children, and other things you always pictured spending money on as a typical "grown-up." (See also: How to Use Glassdoor to Earn More Money)

11. Food is better at parties

We barely ate at parties in my 20s, and if I did, it was bags of chips. But now, in my 30s, I attend parties with plates of hors d'oeuvres that hosts spend hours making. I'll take delicate crab puffs over stale chips any day.

12. You stress less about your physical appearance

I still worry about my physical appearance, and I'm in the gym trying to ward off pounds on a regular basis. But I've eased up on myself over the years, and now focus more on the health benefits of consistent sweat sessions, rather than having six- or eight-pack abs. (See also: 10 Ways to Age Well for $0)

13. You have a lifetime worth of memories and mementos

I have so many fond memories at age 36 and I feel like my life is just getting started. I'm looking forward to looking back on the memories 20 years from now. I hope I make myself proud.

14. Age truly is just a number

Once you reach a certain age, what is age anymore? Does 50 feel differently than 60? I'm not quite there yet, but I feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally now than I did when I turned 30, which makes me not as afraid to reach the next milestone birthday.

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This article is from Mikey Rox of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

6 Personal Finance Rules to Live By in Your 40s

Dan Rafter — Thu, 22 Mar 2018 10:00:06 +0000

Your 40s can be a stressful time. Your children might be moving on to college, changing the dynamics of your household. Your own parents are aging and might need to move into a nursing home or assisted living facility. And you might be feeling extra pressure at work to move up to higher-paying positions as a way to maximize your earning potential.

But your 40s can also be a time to secure your financial health and pave the way toward a brighter retirement. You can increase your odds of achieving this goal by following the personal finance rules below.

1. Focus on building your retirement savings

The main goal in your 40s should be to boost your retirement savings as much as possible. Retirement might still seem a long way away, but it's closer than you think.

If you are saving money in your company's 401(k) plan, be sure to maximize your regular contributions and take advantage of any company match. Do the same with any investments you make in a traditional IRA or Roth IRA. The more you save today, the brighter your retirement years will be. (See also: 7 Retirement Planning Steps Late Starters Must Make)

2. Don't let college costs derail your retirement savings

You want to help your kids pay for their college educations. That's understandable, but don't let your desire to help your children derail your retirement savings.

If you spend too much money helping your kids pay for college, you'll struggle to build your retirement savings. In your 40s, saving for retirement should be your top priority, outweighing even your goals of chipping in to pay for your children's college education.

Remember, your children have options for paying for college. They can borrow money. They can choose less expensive schools. They can seek out scholarships or attend a community college for two years. You don't have nearly as many options when it comes to your retirement savings. (See also: How to Keep Student Loans From Wrecking Your Retirement)

3. Reduce your debts

Nothing ruins your plans to save money quicker than debt. And no other is as costly as credit card debt. Do everything you can in your 40s to eliminate it.

Some debt is better than others. Auto loans and mortgages, for instance, generally come with lower interest rates. And you are receiving a benefit — a house to live in, a car to drive — while making those monthly payments. But credit card debt is another story. This debt comes with sky-high interest rates that can snowball by hundreds of dollars every month. That's why it's so important to pay it off as quickly as possible. (See also: The Fastest Method to Eliminate Credit Card Debt)

Remember that your primary goal in your 40s is to build your retirement savings. Think of how many additional dollars you could save if you weren't sending so much money each month to your credit card providers.

4. Grow your emergency fund

Another thing that can quickly derail your efforts to save for retirement is an unexpected emergency. Say your roof springs a leak or your furnace conks out in the middle of January. You must fix these problems, and that won't be cheap.

That's where an emergency fund comes in. As the name suggests, this type of fund is filled with dollars that you only tap when an unexpected financial emergency pops up. By having a well-stocked emergency fund, you won't have to resort to credit cards to pay for unexpected home or auto repairs, or even a surprise medical bill.

Financial experts recommend that you have enough in your emergency fund to cover at least six months' to a year's worth of daily living expenses. That might seem daunting, but even starting an emergency fund with small payments every month can build up. Say you deposit $200 every month in an emergency fund. After a year, it will grow to $2,400. (See also: 7 Easy Ways to Build an Emergency Fund From $0)

5. Avoid the co-signing temptation

When you're in your 40s, your children might be ready to apply for auto loans or credit cards of their own. It can be challenging for young adults with limited credit histories to earn approval for these loans. It's not unusual for them to ask their parents to co-sign on an application.

While it might be tempting to want to help your kid, be careful: If your son or daughter makes their payments late, your credit score will take a fall, too. That's because when you co-sign, you become equally responsible for a debt. If your children default on a loan, you're on the hook for making those missed payments — putting you in a dangerous financial predicament that could completely derail your retirement savings.

Don't co-sign unless you're positive your children won't miss any payments. Even then, it's probably not in your best interest to be a co-signer. (See also: Should You Co-sign Your Teenager's Credit Card Application?)

6. Make sure you have enough life insurance

What would happen to your children or spouse if you suddenly died? Would your spouse be able to pay the monthly mortgage? Would your family have to move to a new, less expensive home?

Life insurance can prevent financial stress for your family if you should die unexpectedly. Make sure that you have enough life insurance coverage to protect your loved ones. Your 40s is a good time to review your life insurance coverage and make changes if necessary. (See also: Why Your Group Life Insurance Is Not Enough)

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This article is from Dan Rafter of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

7 Critical Money Mistakes People Make in Their 40s

Alaina Tweddale — Thu, 15 Jun 2017 09:00:10 +0000

The younger you are, the more time you have to bounce back from a financial mistake. As you inch closer to those retirement years, however, and as financial obligations expand, it's increasingly important to safeguard the assets you have — and to prepare for costly expenses that inevitably crop up as youth glides into middle age.

The experts agree: Even 40-somethings who feel confident about their finances are likely to make a few money mistakes. Which are the most common? Here, the financial pros tell all.

1. An expensive home remodel

The average cost to remodel a few rooms is upward of $37,000, according to data compiled by Home Advisor. It could cost even more — as much as $125,000 — depending on the size and location of the home.

Michael Frick, president of Promenade Advisors LLC, thinks that money could be much better spent by paying down an existing mortgage. "Forty-somethings need to realize that retirement is only 20 to 30 years away in most cases," he said. "Do they still want to have that large mortgage payment while they are retired on a fixed income? Will they even have enough retirement income to continue making those payments?"

Even worse, he added, is that many homeowners finance those pricey home renovations by borrowing from their existing home equity or — even worse — by raiding their 401(k) funds. The added monthly payments from a 401(k) loan can crimp the amount of money available to boost retirement savings during critical, high income-earning years.

2. Prioritizing kids' college over retirement savings

Most kids today expect their folks to pony up for the full cost of college, no matter which institution they choose. So says a 2016 Parents, Kids & Money survey released by investment firm T. Rowe Price. Most parents want to comply.

Still, midlife is "a period in which you should assess whether you're on track to fund the subsequent stages of your own adulthood," said Anthony M. Montenegro of Blackmont Advisors. As children age, "it's not uncommon for parents to continue putting kids ahead of themselves — even at the expense of their own needs."

"One way to look at this trade-off is to ask yourself, 'Am I willing to delay retirement and keep working another five to 10 years to fund my children's college?'" said Alex Whitehouse, president and CEO of Whitehouse Wealth Management. Plus, he added, a student who works to help pay for school will have "skin in the game," which can create a greater appreciation for the value of the education.

If there's an additional need for tuition funds, "money can be borrowed through student loans," Whitehouse added. "You can't borrow money for retirement." (See also: Why Saving Too Much Money for a College Fund Is a Bad Idea)

3. Skipping the estate plan

"The term 'estate planning' sounds like something old, rich people need to transfer their mansion and paintings," said Whitehouse. Still, anyone with basic assets they want to share with a loved one (or even with a chosen charity) should have, at minimum, a basic will.

No one wants to consider their own eventual demise but, even so, "lack of planning can lead to painful consequences for heirs, including a lengthy probate process, loss of control, and potentially even disinheritance," added Whitehouse.

For a straightforward will, there are inexpensive online DIY options available like Quicken WillMaker and LegalZoom. An attorney can help create a more comprehensive estate plan or set up a trust.

4. Not saving enough

"Lifestyle creep can be a major problem for those in their 40s. As they earn more, many families increase their spending on luxury items or dinner at expensive restaurants, rather than save the extra income," said Andrew Rafal, founder and president of Bayntree Wealth Advisors.

Small spending increases can be detrimental because they tend to happen slowly over time, and tend to mirror pay raises, so it's easy to not take notice.

Instead of spending those pay raises, Joshua P. Brein, president of Brein Wealth Management, suggests splitting the difference. "I always say it's a good idea to give your savings a raise if you get a raise yourself," he said. "If your savings habits don't match your increased income and instead stay small — even though your income grows — you could be underfunding retirement and falling behind inflation. When you retire, things will undoubtedly cost more than they do today, so save like it!"

Still, Brein still gives income earners carte blanche to spend half their raises. That means you can save more while also increasing your standard of living over time. (See also: 8 Money Moves to Make the Moment You Get a Promotion)

5. Being underinsured

Many 40-somethings have children or other family members who are financially dependent upon them. Even so, "many people in their 40s are underinsured," said Rafal. That means an unexpected injury, disability, or even death has the potential to torpedo even the most seemingly stable situation.

Rafal recommends taking advantage of any group life and disability plans offered by an employer, but also maintaining personal policies that are opened outside of the workplace. "That way you have the peace of mind that your family is properly insured even if you switch employers," he said. (See also: 4 Things You Need to Know About Disability Insurance)

6. A skimpy emergency fund

That three to six months' worth of expenses you set aside in your 20s may not be enough to replace your income today, if you were to need it. "Pretty much everything you own today is more valuable than it was 10 or 15 or 20 years ago," said Charles C. Scott, co-creator of FinancialChoicesMatter.com and founder of Pelleton Capital Management. "Your house is worth more. Your car is worth more. It costs more to take care of your health at this age than years ago, both because you're older, but also because health care costs are a lot higher."

Many midlife workers fail to adjust their emergency safety cushion to account for those increased expenses and earnings. If an unexpected emergency were to arise, and you haven't recalculated in a while, a meager account balance may not stretch as far as expected.

7. Paying too much for investment advice

Lower investment fees and higher performance returns go together like peanut butter and jelly. That's according to the recent research paper Predictive Power of Fees, released by investment researcher Morningstar. Still, many investors, even the most intelligent ones, don't fully understand the investment fees they're paying.

"What you don't know could be greatly hurting you," said Matthew Jackson, president of Solid Wealth Advisors. Fee information is often hidden deep within a mutual fund's prospectus or annual shareholder report. If you don't know what you're looking for, the information can be difficult to find.

Then there are the fees you're paying your financial adviser or broker. "Take the time to learn exactly how much you are paying for advice. Often, commissions and fees are obscure and not easily understandable."

The good news is that even "the worst money mistakes people make in their 40s can be fixed rather easily," said Jackson. First, he suggested, get engaged with your money. "Take the time to learn the basics. In the information age, it's never been easier to learn about asset allocation, maximum portfolio drawdowns, and portfolio volatility." In short, a little knowledge can go a long way. By learning a little, "people in their 40s can avoid a lot of pain in their portfolios," Jackson added. (See also: The Surprising Truth of Investing: Mediocre Advice Is Best)

This article is from Alaina Tweddale of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

5 Financial Experts People in Their 40s Should Follow

Linsey Knerl — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 13:00:31 +0000

I'm not quite 40 yet, but it is definitely creeping up on me. Fortunately, I've been listening to the sage advice of experts in the personal financial realm, and hearing good guidance for those approaching midlife. But which of these experts are best plugged-in to the needs of Gen X-ers?

We've got a list of the top experts for people in their 40s — all with wisdom that those in the prime of their life should follow:

1. William J. Bernstein

This expert comes highly recommended by Larry Ludwig of Investor Junkie (who is actually an expert in his own right). And why not? Mr. Bernstein has written many solid books on investing and the not-really-that-elusive "asset allocation" concept. He has a background as a medical doctor, but made a name for himself as a the author of The Four Pillars of Investing — a staple for anyone looking for the best books on financial matters. DIY investors really should check out William's work.

Favorite quote: "Risk, like pornography, is difficult to define, but we think we know it when we see it."

2. Mohamed El-Erian

This highly-respected commentator, fund manager, and former PIMCO head was put on my radar by Doug Bagwell of DB Advisers. Mohamed is probably best known for his bestselling book When Markets Collide, which earned numerous awards and is probably one of the reasons his columns are everywhere (including Bloomberg). If investment thinking outside national borders is your thing, you'll appreciate the big picture education you'll get from El-Erian's work.

Favorite quote: "The best and most sustainable love story for markets is one based on a healthy and dynamic real economy that creates jobs and opportunities for many more people."

3. Farnoosh Torabi

I'm probably biased on this expert, because I've met her a few times, and I think she really believes what she ways. I'm also just so completely in love with the message presented in her book When She Makes More: 10 Rules for Breadwinning Women, a very practical guide to handling the life challenges that come when the woman in a relationship outearns her partner. Many Gen X and older couples are finally realizing that the man may never get out of the "temporary" situation of under-employment brought about over the past 10 years, and that's really okay. Farnoosh's practical advice for overcoming and creating a new normal are pretty spot-on for couples in their 40s, no matter who brings home the bacon.

Favorite quote: "If you want to have both a rich life and harmony in your life, it is crucial that you master your finances AND your emotional connections to money."

4. Carl Richards

Author and blogger at Behavior Gap, Carl is also known as "The Sketch Guy." For anyone who has ever come to appreciate a good Murdoch Mystery, you can appreciate how writing your ideas on a blackboard (or napkin) can make for better understanding. Carl uses his gift of sketch to illustrate complex money concepts in a way that makes you feel like you've read a good comic — and not just received an education in financial planning. Be sure to check out his book Simple Ways to Stop Doing Dumb Things With Money, as well; it takes a look at all those dumb mistakes you've been making with your money, laying out the why and how in perfect black and white doodles.

Favorite quote: "History is so important. It has been said that the three most important words in the English language are 'Remember, remember, remember.'"

5. Gary Foreman

Sometimes, life experience (and being a former CFP) is what makes someone the best expert, and that's why Gary of The Dollar Stretcher makes this list. His newsletter, which debuted in 1996, is still going strong in the form of a blog, email list, and thriving online community. The topics, including frugality, financial planning, and simply living life to the fullest, are popular with readers from every walk of life. Those over 40 should take particular interest in the fact that Gary is one of the few bloggers to specifically address issues of the Baby Boomer generation and certain end-of-life issues. As Gen X-ers find themselves caring for their Boomer parents, this advice will become increasingly important, especially as it relates to the finances of both parent and child.

Favorite quote: "Change is what I make of it. I can look for danger or opportunity. My job is to find the opportunity and take steps to make that the reality."

Do you have a favorite experts that we forgot? We'd love to hear who is inspiring you in the best years of your life!

This article is from Linsey Knerl of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

8 Life Mistakes You Need to Stop Making By Age 40

Mikey Rox — Thu, 20 Aug 2015 17:00:24 +0000

By age 40, you should have this whole "life" thing down pat. But just in case you don't, here are a few reminders that you're awesome, but perhaps still need to kick a few bad habits to the curb.

1. Drinking Heavily

What once was cute and funny in yours 20s and tolerable-but-inappropriate in your 30s is now completely unacceptable in your 40s. If you're a heavy drinker at that age, it's likely that you're an alcoholic — and you may need help. Moreover, not only will people view you as a sad old drunk, but your body will start making you pay for what you've done to it.

2. Blaming Other People for Your Problems

"Woe is me" is an easy attitude to have if you haven't had the best life. But guess what? Basically nobody you know has had it easy. We all go through rough patches. Sure, sometimes those things are a result of other people's wrongdoings, but there's no way you can change that now, and harping on it for the rest of your life isn't going to help.

3. Engaging in Crazy Fitness Regimens

I signed up for a CrossFit group a couple years ago because of a deal I saw on Groupon. Why not? I thought. A lot of my friends were doing it, and at that point I needed a serious regimen to whip me into shape. But as fate would have it, I got hit by a car (but totally walked it off like a boss!) the day before I was supposed to start, so I used the injury as an excuse to get out of it because I really, really didn't want to do it.

If you're in the 40-year-old range, this kind of exercise isn't the best idea for you either — especially for women.

"Bones, joints, ligaments and tendons all begin their slow process of changing as they lose elasticity and density," explains Andes Hruby, a certified fitness instructor in five disciplines. "While engaging in strengthening, aerobic conditioning, and flexibility is excellent, crazy CrossFit, P90X, and step aerobics causes the body to be extremely unbalanced at different angles with excessive pressure on worn-out body parts. Building muscles is the key to warding off menopausal weight gain, but leaping off a step or hanging from a rope is a great way to encourage injury."

4. Living in the Past

Living in the past often relates to trying to hold on to a time that we enjoyed despite that it's long gone — and sometimes that can be detrimental to the future. So many people are still thinking about high school, college, etc., and wishing they had done this or that with their lives. Instead of focusing on what could have been, your 40s are a time to focus on what is and what still can be. Become an active participant in your life and you'll be amazed at what you've missed by spending too much time looking in the rearview mirror.

5. Trying to Be Somebody You're Not

I see this all the time with people who are in relationships that they shouldn't be in, trying to fit somebody else's mold of perfection when you're just fine the way you are. I've never really succumbed to this affliction as I'm sort of a take-me-or-leave-me kinda guy (I actually couldn't help it if I tried), but there are instances when I've tried to do something or act a certain way that would please the person I'm with. In the end, it's a fool's errand because the cracks will eventually show and at that point you'll just come off disingenuous. And if I can be frank here, I'd rather you think I'm a raging A-hole than a ninny who doesn't appreciate his own identity. Besides, at age 40, do you really want to keep playing those games?

6. Apologizing for Who You Are

Do you consider yourself a decent person? Pay your taxes on time? Hold the door for the people behind you? Say "I love you" to your mother before you hang up the phone? Take your friends out for a drink on their birthday? Good. In that case, unless you've hurt someone's feelings unnecessarily or otherwise committed a crime, you don't need to apologize to anyone for who you are. By now, who you are isn't changing a whole lot — you've got 40 years under your belt — so accept it, flaws and all, and encourage the others around you to do the same.

7. Running Away From Debt

Like heavy drinking, if you're under a mountain of debt at age 40, there's a chronic issue in your life that needs to be identified and addressed. Now's the time to ask yourself some very important questions: How did I accumulate this debt? What's holding me back from reducing or eliminating it? Do I really want to live like this forever? The answer to the latter question is that you don't. Nobody wants to carry the heavy financial burden of debt on their back for their entire life. Do what you need to do to get your finances in order, bottom line. You're not a kid anymore.

8. Being Afraid to Live

I read a story once where a nurse said that on patients' deathbeds, they often reveal the biggest regrets of their lifetimes. The visual of that scenario has stuck with me, but I also wonder why so many people have so many regrets. Personally, I try to live without regret, and for the most part I've succeeded. Certainly terrible things have happened to me, and I've also been a catalyst for terrible things for other people. But all I can do is accept the former, apologize for the latter, and learn from both experiences. If I died tomorrow, I would be confident that I've done the things I've wanted to do up to this point in my life and the people that I love know that I love them. Don't be afraid to live. This life is yours, but you only have one of it — and at age 40, whether you like it or not, it's about half over. Don't let the best years go to waste.

Do you have some other things that we should stop doing by age 40? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.

This article is from Mikey Rox of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

The 8 Life Skills You Must Learn in Your 40s

Paul Michael — Wed, 27 May 2015 21:00:08 +0000

I turned 40 last year. It was not celebrated in quite the same way as when I turned 18, or 21, but it's a milestone nonetheless. And it got me to thinking…what should I be learning now that I have hit this major landmark? What can any of us who are in our 40s learn to make life even better, and prepare for the next 40 years? Here are eight of the best life skills you can embrace once you reach the big 40.

1. Overcoming Procrastination

When we're young, it's easy to think that there's plenty of time to do this, or that, later. But after hitting "middle age," perspective is everything. You should realize that there is no time like the present to get things done, but also that you must have achievable goals. Saying "That's it, I'm redecorating the kitchen this weekend" will probably lead to failure because you have set yourself too great a task in too short a time. Instead, portion out the tasks ahead into very attainable goals. So, this weekend, you will remove the wallpaper from two walls, and choose new paint or paper from the home improvement store. Use your smartphone to set these goals, and have a checklist. When you see the list getting shorter, you'll feel good about your progress.

2. Meditation

Say meditation to some people and they think you're some new-age whacko or "hippie." But meditation is simply a way to internalize and focus on ourselves, rather than the hectic world around us. It's a way to find a little peace, without grabbing a drink, watching TV, or flat out falling asleep. This is awareness, and helps us achieve an emotional balance. It's very easy to get started, too.

You need to find a place in your home, or office, free from distractions. You cannot do this with constant interruptions. Then, make yourself comfortable, but don't lie down. This is no time for a nap, this is about being focused. Sit up straight, preferably without the help of back support. Begin to breath, in and out, and pay close attention to your breathing. Some people use an affirmation or chant, some like to listen to some instrumental music or sound effects. Others simply focus on their own heartbeat. This is about finding time for you, and some inner peace. Do this for 15–30 minutes per day, and you will be amazed at the results it generates for you.

3. Yoga

On the back of meditation comes another skill that many people confuse. Yoga is obviously not meditation, but it can bring about some of the same benefits. It can internalize your thinking, and bring you a great sense of peace and relaxation. However, yoga is also good at this time of life, when our bodies aren't as supple and regenerative as they were 20 years ago. There are many types of yoga available, including bikram, power, ashtanga, iyengar, hatha, and more. Try your local athletic club for yoga classes. Some employers even offer them for free, as they are very beneficial to the workforce.

4. Patience

They say it's a virtue. When we're kids, we don't have it. When we're in our 20s, we fake it. By the time we're in our 30s, we often let it slide because "I've been doing this a long time and I deserve what I want, when I want!" Now, after hitting 40, it has dawned on me that learning how to be patient is something I should have done a long time ago. And it's not difficult.

The most important part of learning patience is figuring out what triggers your impatience. For example, one of my biggest bugbears is lateness. If people aren't on time, I get irritated…quickly. Or at least, I used to. Now, I try to remember that my attitude cannot change their schedule. I can either be annoyed, or use the time wisely. I breathe deeply, remember what good things are happening on that day, and realize that some things are just out of my control.

5. Arguing

In a perfect world, we wouldn't have to argue with other people. Then again, it sounds like quite a dull world, too. Arguments happen wherever there are other people to argue with. They are unavoidable. However, learning how to argue is going to save you a lot of time, energy, and even money. In our youth, arguments can be childish and uncivilized. There can be name-calling and hurtful statements. The arguments can start out being about something small, and end up becoming monstrous. Knowing how to argue well, or fairly, can really be of great service to yourself, and those around you.

Try to see things from the other person's point of view. Always think before speaking, and make sure that whatever you are saying has a positive intention. You want to reach an agreement, not hail yourself as a victor and puff up your chest. If you're in your 40s, you should be beyond such trivial wins anyway. You want the best for both parties, and you get that by listening, having empathy, and working as a team trying to solve a problem.

6. Forgiveness

For many years in my 20s, and even into my 30s, I had a passionate dislike of certain people. And the reason — they did something to me that I just couldn't forgive. As it turns out, the "unforgivable" acts were very easily forgivable, I was just young when I was hurt, and let it build up into a mountain of disdain over time. This is no way to live. A famous quote says "holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Oh, how true.

So, start learning how to really forgive people now. You don't have to forget what that person did to you, but you can make a concerted effort to talk it over with them, and offer your genuine forgiveness. Remember, the person suffering the most from these feelings is you. The other person probably doesn't think about it half as much as you do, so let it go. Forgive them, move on, and you'll feel better.

7. Thinking on Your Feet

You could also call it decision making, but that doesn't put the emphasis on time. I was in a restaurant a few weeks ago, and I heard a couple trying to figure out what they were going to eat. After 20 minutes, they still hadn't decided. It was starting to become a heated argument, and for what? The difference between ordering lasagna or spaghetti? In many aspects of life, quick thinking is invaluable. And the biggest enemy of it is self-doubt, or second-guessing. By the time you hit 40, you should know what you like, what you want, and where you're going. Trust your gut, listen to yourself, and stop umming and aaahing. This doesn't mean making hasty decisions, but it does mean getting to the right decision quickly, and confidently.

8. Letting Go

We have a dogged determination to stick with things in our teens, 20s, and 30s. If we give up, we fail. We don't want to be seen as failures, so we will often keep on going with something that should have been dead and buried long ago. This can apply to anything, from personal projects and careers, to relationships and ambitions.

Now, I know some people will think "You should never let go of your dreams," but what if your resoluteness to achieve something unattainable is getting in the way of something that could be just as great? Some teens want to be astronauts. Is that something to keep gunning for when you hit 40? Are you in a relationship that you keep promising yourself will get better? Maybe it's time to let go. It can also be as simple as walking out of an awful movie. Think about it. Time is a precious resource, and one that we have less of every day. Is it worth sticking things out when we could move onto greener pastures?

What lessons have you learned at 40?

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread: