communication

4 Money Challenges That Will Strengthen Every Relationship

Denise Hill — Tue, 26 Jun 2018 12:41:09 +0000

Mixing love and money is tricky. In fact, a recent study conducted by Dave Ramsey and Ramsey Solutions found that money is the second leading cause of divorce. Infidelity is number one. The study concluded that debt, communication, and attitudes about money and spending habits keep couples broke and disgruntled.

Money challenges are the ultimate team-building activities for couples. When done correctly, they can expose areas of pain and fear, open or improve lines of communication, and help you become a more disciplined unit.

Whether you are newly married, been together for a while, or are on the cusp of divorce, engaging in a financial challenge — as a couple — could improve or even save your marriage. The challenges themselves aren't magic. You have to commit and do the work. They can, however, assist you in revamping how you view and handle finances as a pair.

Here are a few money challenges that every couple should try. (See also: 4 Ways Couples Can Tackle Money Goals Together)

1. One Income Challenge

The One Income Challenge is a doozy. This isn't the type of challenge you wake up one morning and just begin. No, this one takes preparation and planning — which is what makes it such a great challenge for couples. The goal is to get your overhead and bills so low that you can live off just one income for at least one or two months. That doesn't mean that you only spend from one persons' paycheck — the goal is simply to save the sum of what one of you brings in monthly.

This challenge will not only save you a ton of money, but will also fling open the doors of communication. You have to talk during this challenge to ensure things are paid on time and both parties know exactly what they are allowed to spend. It really takes a concerted effort to do this. It will also allow you to see what you could accomplish if you could reduce your overhead and live off one income long term.

Becoming a one-income household is also something you could aspire to in the future. So, if you can't live on one income today, make it your goal to be there this time next year or in two years. Even if you never reach your goal, you're still way further than you were before you started. Your wallet and your marriage will benefit from your efforts. (See also: How to Go From Two Incomes to One)

2. The Cash Only or No Credit Challenge

The Cash Only Challenge is less extreme than the One Income Challenge, but it's still very difficult — especially for those who rely heavily on credit. During this challenge, you only spend cash for everything that is not drafted automatically or requires you to pay online. The goal is to pay with cash as much as possible for the duration of the challenge.

The reasoning behind this challenge is that paying with cash causes you to plan and to think about purchases before you actually buy something. With cash you can only spend what you have. Overspending is not an option. Paying with cash will also help you track expenses easier and it will develop your discipline muscle. If you allocate $250 for groceries but spend $75 on shoes, you only have $175 left for groceries. Once the cash is gone — it's gone.

A great way to modify this challenge for those who are wary of carrying cash is to only use your debit cards. Take all of your credit cards (your spouse's too) and put them in a drawer. Only spend what you actually have in your bank account. This modification lowers the degree of difficulty, but it still remains challenging. (See also: 5 Money Conversations Every Couple Should Have)

3. The 50/50 Challenge

I read about this challenge on CoupleMoney.com and I fell in love with the concept. The concept of the 50/50 Challenge is twofold: spend less and earn more. You and your spouse should work to reduce your monthly cost of living expenses while simultaneously figuring out ways to earn more money during the challenge.

This challenge will not only do wonders for your savings, but it is also the ultimate team-building exercise. You learn where you can cut and how you can bring in more during lean times. Together, you and your spouse can set savings and earnings goals and find creative ways to cut costs and earn a little extra. You can organize a yard sale, sell stuff online, or get side gigs. The possibilities are endless. (See also: 14 Best Side Jobs For Fast Cash)

4. No Shopping Challenge

The No Shopping Challenge is a pretty popular money challenge. The goal is for you and your spouse to eliminate any unnecessary spending. During this challenge, you buy only the basics. This means forgoing luxuries such as dining out, getting your hair done, and anything else that is not an absolute necessity. You take your budget down to its bare bones.

A twist that my husband and I like to add is to write down every single thing we are spending money on for the month. So, in lieu of writing "groceries," we would actually add the entire grocery list to our list of expenses. And if we forget to list something, we do without it for the month. This really improves communication and ensures that you are working together and planning every dollar you spend.

You can modify, rework, and mix and match any of these challenges to fit your particular situation and lifestyle. The goal is not to follow a challenge verbatim — the goal is to do something that takes you out of your comfort zone and changes your perspective about money and marriage. (See also: 8 Steps to a Blissful Matri-Money)

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This article is from Denise Hill of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

8 Non-Finance Skills That Will Make You a Money Master

Kentin Waits — Wed, 13 Jun 2018 09:00:22 +0000

When it comes to winning in the world of money, I'm a firm believer in the power of the liberal arts. Sometimes, a broad base of knowledge can serve you better than a narrow set of skills in mathematics, business, or investing. So buck up, theater majors and graduates of the School of Hard Knocks; here are eight non-finance skills that will make you a money master.

1. Self-awareness

Socrates was onto something when he said, "To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom." Self awareness is the key to understanding the level of investment risk you're comfortable with, the situations that trigger impulsive consumer behavior, and the strengths you can build upon to become more successful with money. Stretch your self-awareness muscle a little every day by being mindful of your emotional responses to advertising and noticing which parts of your budget are the easiest and most difficult to stick to.

2. Self-control

How do you become a money master while living in the middle of a three-ring consumer circus? You develop superhuman levels of self-control. Money masters resist impulse buys (at least most of the time), drive reliable used cars instead of new ones, shred stacks of preapproved credit card offers, and stick to their budgets despite everything that urges them to do otherwise. (See also: 6 Ways to Resist a Splurge)

3. Self-confidence

In the U.S., keeping up with the Joneses is practically a national pastime. Those in charge of their financial futures evolve beyond the constant comparisons that drain time, energy, and money. How do they do it? They cultivate authentic self-confidence and are able to live by a simple, yet fundamental truth: Who they are is far more than what they buy. (See also: 3 Ways Confidence Makes You Better With Money)

4. Big-picture thinking

Money masters always play with the end-goal in mind. That means sacrificing when necessary to pay down student loans, avoid credit card debt, save for retirement, and build a healthy emergency fund. It means understanding that long-term financial security is the result of dozens of tiny, strategic decisions they make every single day.

5. Patience

For those of us who don't have relatives in the oil business or who haven't won the lottery, achieving financial security takes patience. Delaying gratification, taking the long-view on investments, building wealth dollar by dollar — these are the traits of true money masters. Without patience, you'll always be seduced by get-rich-quick schemes, always expose your principal to unnecessary risk, and only become the master of financial disaster. (See also: 8 Ways Being Patient Saves You Money)

6. Critical thinking

I hate to alarm you, but there are hordes of people after your money. Every day, scammers and shady investment brokers are developing new and better ways to relieve you of your hard-earned cash. In this environment, critical thinking is a survival skill. Money masters consider each expenditure carefully, arm themselves with unbiased information, and can spot a too-good-to-be-true investment from a mile away. (See also: 7 Steps to Improving Your Critical Thinking)

7. Creativity

Creativity helps people make money and save it. Some of the most creative folks I've ever met were raised during the Great Depression, and the lessons they learned permanently shaped their relationships with money. These money masters know how to stretch a dollar to within an inch of its life (without feeling deprived for a second), grow their own food, repurpose items, and build thriving cottage businesses. (See also: 9 Money Lessons to Take From the Great Depression)

8. Communication

Communication is the life skill that feeds all the others. Money masters are able to talk openly with their partners about finances, negotiate with diplomacy, share their knowledge, and ask the sorts of the questions that empower smart investing. (See also: 5 Money Conversations Every Couple Should Have)

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This article is from Kentin Waits of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

4 Ways Couples Can Tackle Money Goals Together

Denise Hill — Wed, 02 May 2018 09:00:08 +0000

The "relationship goals" meme revolves around the idea that — at least in the world of social media — your relationship is envied by singles and mediocre couples everywhere. And whether you realize it or not, a big part of having a successful marriage and reaching that "goals" status is figuring out the financial aspect of your relationship.

Money itself isn't a homewrecker. It's other issues — like communicating about money, your relationship with it, and your values associated with it — that cause problems. Establishing a strong money management system within your marriage can be tricky. Here are a few things you and your spouse can do to set and achieve financial goals as a couple.

Establish financial core values

Like it or not, your spending habits directly reflect your values. You say you want to save and get out of debt, yet you eat out five nights a week and upgrade to the latest gadget as soon as it hits the market, despite the cost. And while you may feel that lack of discipline is to blame — and it is to some degree — the truth is you don't value saving enough to actually do it.

As a couple, you should sit down and write out the core values that will govern your lives together. Most of these values may not directly relate to money, but they all relate indirectly. For example, if you value open and honest communication, that should trickle down to your finances. You have to commit to communicating openly and honestly about spending habits, earnings, debts, etc. And you shouldn't "hide" money from one another.

Be honest with your spouse and yourself when establishing your value system. Some things sound nice, but they may not be a part of your value system. And that's OK. If your spouse values something — such as saving — that you don't, be flexible and compromise a bit. The same is true if you have a "spender" spouse who values spending money on entertainment. You've got to give a little. You value what you value. There shouldn't be shame or judgment attached to it. The key is finding balance and learning how to get your spending habits to accurately reflect your value system. (See also: 8 Things I Learned About Money After Getting Married)

Have joint financial goals

The second thing you and your spouse should do is establish financial goals together. An easy way to do this is to look at your life goals — long- and short-term. Align your finances with those goals.

As a couple, what do you want to accomplish? Do you want to retire early? Live a debt-free lifestyle? Have a small army of children? Travel the world? Care for aging parents? Start a business? Go on a second honeymoon? Once you've established your life goals, your money goals will emerge naturally. You and your spouse just have to fill in the details.

How will you save to afford that Jamaican getaway? Will you get side gigs, cut back, or follow some other plan for saving? The key here is to align your financial goals with your life goals. And then work diligently to achieve them. (See also: The 7 Worst Money Mistakes Married People Make)

Assign money management roles

After you've established your core values and set some financial goals, it's time to address the details of handling your money. A great way to relieve tension and help ease the financial power struggle is to assign money management roles within your marriage.

One of the best things about marriage is that you have a teammate. In most marriages, one spouse enjoys certain activities, while the other spouse doesn't. One may be a cleaner and the other one loves to cook. One loves yard work and the other is a decorator. One may be a planner and the other one likes to live spontaneously. The point here is to make the most of each other's strengths and preferences.

Assigning roles and tag-teaming your finances is a great way to make each other feel valued and quickly accomplish your money goals. If you are a shopper and your spouse loves to budget, allow them to manipulate the numbers while you make it work in the grocery store. Both tasks are equally important. Shopping — which is different from just buying stuff — is an underrated skill. Budgeting, saving, and shrewd shopping are the trifecta of good financial stewardship and will accelerate your journey to achieving your financial goals. (See also: 3 Simple Ways to Split Bills With Your Spouse)

Have at least one joint account

Having a joint bank account is more intimate than sex for some couples. It's a big step and the ultimate sign of trust. It puts you in a place of vulnerability. And being that vulnerable can be tough.

The key is to take baby steps toward your goal of sharing the same account. It begins in your own mind. Examine fears, perceptions, and past experiences that have left you skittish in this area. See what you can do to talk yourself into being open to the idea.

Once you're open to the idea, it's time to engage in honest communication about it. It can be a very difficult subject, but you have to have the conversation.

Once you've heard each other's fears and misgivings, you can move forward and establish ground rules and procedures. You could create an account together just to pay bills or strictly for saving. See how that goes and move forward from there. There is no one-size approach to mixing love and money, but you do have to be open-minded and at least give your partner an opportunity to earn your financial trust.

Sharing an account can do wonders for your marriage and help you reach your financial goals much quicker. When done correctly, it creates an atmosphere of transparency and accountability. It also promotes the team concept.

If you've established your core values, established long- and short-term financial goals, and have clear roles, making the step to sharing an account will be much easier. Again, this is a difficult bridge to cross for a lot of couples. Remain patient with yourself and with your spouse. And do what is best for your marriage and situation. (See also: 6 Things You Should Know About Joint Checking Accounts)

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This article is from Denise Hill of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

8 Common Causes of Debt — And How to Avoid them

Tim Lemke — Thu, 15 Feb 2018 10:00:06 +0000

Debt plagues millions of Americans every day. It is such a common problem that many of us don't even think twice about what we owe, or how we landed in such a predicament.

The simplest explanation is that debt happens when you spend more than you earn. But it's not actually that simple when real life steps in. Unexpected events, bad planning, and even a decision to pursue an education can leave you facing big debt that may take years to pay off.

By understanding some of the main causes of debt, we can make better financial decisions in avoiding it. Let's take a look at some of the worst offenders.

1. Medical expenses

Medical costs have long been one of the leading causes of bankruptcy in the United States. Even those with health insurance are not immune to medical debt. An illness, injury, or health condition can cause bills to quickly accumulate.

The Kaiser Family Foundation found that three in 10 Americans report that they or a household member have had trouble paying medical bills in the past year — 58 percent of which were affected in a way that had a major impact on their life. More than 60 percent of respondents claim their savings were wiped out. Another 37 percent turned to credit cards.

It's not easy to predict how your health could change in the future. Actually, it's almost impossible. But putting certain safeguards in place can help mitigate the risk of financial ruin. Health insurance is the first step. And while premiums can be expensive, facing an illness or injury without that coverage would be infinitely more devastating. (See also: The One Question You Need to Answer to Choose the Best Health Care Plan)

It's also critical that you build an emergency fund. This savings cushion should ideally cover six months' to a year's worth of your living expenses. If the worst happens, you'll at least have something to fall back on. (See also: 7 Easy Ways to Build an Emergency Fund From $0)

2. Loss of income

Losing a primary source of income can severely hurt your bottom line. Maybe you were laid off or fired, or had a sudden decline in revenue for your business. Maybe you needed to stop working to care for a child or older relative. Or perhaps your health took a turn, and you were forced to retire early or drop to part-time employment. When something like this happens, it's easy to find yourself overwhelmed by bills and expenses. Debt can quickly follow.

One of the biggest safeguards you can establish for yourself, again, is an emergency fund. Ideally, this fund can sustain you while you try to replace your lost income. Is your emergency fund as big as it should be?

It's also key that you try to live well below your means at all times, even when money is good. This means spending more on "needs" and less on "wants." This way, even if your income drops unexpectedly, you'll find it easier to get by at your current lifestyle without dipping into that emergency fund or creating new debt.

3. College costs

Going to college can be very expensive, and many young people find themselves saddled with debt early on in their lives. The average class of 2016 graduate left school with $37,172 in student loan debt. Those student loans can force a new graduate into even more borrowing, which only furthers the debt cycle.

Parents can help young people with college costs by saving up, often with the help of 529 college savings plans and similar programs that offer tax advantages. If you are a student who is not fortunate enough to get help from family, you can reduce or even eliminate your student loan burden up front in a number of ways.

It helps to select schools based on overall value, rather than prestige. It's generally cheaper to go to school in state, and public schools are often less expensive than private ones. Spending two years at a community college and transferring to a four-year college is often a great way to save. (See also: 7 Things Employers Care About More Than Your Degree)

Working while in school can help offset costs. Many schools will help students find on-campus jobs. And there's usually no harm in deferring the start of college for a year or two while you save money. (See also: 8 Money-Saving Hacks Every College Student Should Try)

There is also new information being published about the "return on investment" of college degrees that can guide students to available and well-paying jobs. (See also: 8 Great Jobs for the Next 10 Years)

Avoiding college debt may force students and their families to make difficult choices, but they are choices that will help a young person start their adult lives off on the right financial foot.

4. An unexpected emergency

Many people find themselves in debt because they aren't prepared when big, bad, expensive things happened to them. Your entire HVAC system may go haywire and need to be replaced. You may crash your car. Or you may get really sick, and find your insurance will only cover a portion of your bills. To keep these scenarios from wiping out your savings and leading to debt, you once again need to bolster that emergency fund. A sizable emergency fund can help cover big one-time expenses so you're not tapping into credit cards or taking out loans.

You may have to anticipate possible big expenses to some degree. How old is the roof on your house? How old is your car? How's your health, in general? It's impossible to know the future, but you can prepare yourself for certain outcomes. (See also: 4 New Reasons You Need an Emergency Fund)

5. Being poorly insured

Insurance is a funny thing. It can seem like a waste of money … until you need it. Many people find themselves in serious debt or even bankruptcy when a bad event hits and they are uninsured or underinsured. Imagine having your house burn down without homeowners insurance. Imagine purchasing a bare-bones health insurance plan and getting into a serious car accident requiring a lengthy hospital stay.

Insurance is a very important part of financial planning. Every person should periodically conduct a thorough review of their insurance policies to ensure they have plans that cover them in case of a bad event. No one wants to think about bad things happening to them, but without insurance, those bad things can really sting you financially. (See also: 5 Reasons Why Life Insurance Isn't Just for Old People)

6. Keeping up with the Joneses

Your neighbor just bought a new sports car. Your Facebook friends are sharing photos of their latest tropical vacation. Your brother-in-law just purchased a home twice the size of yours. It can really sting when you feel like you have to go without. And like many people, you may feel pressure to "keep up" with your friends' lavish lifestyles.

This is a recipe for financial disaster.

Chasing a lifestyle you can't afford will have you turning to credit cards to fund your frivolous buys. The spiral into debt can be quick and overwhelming. Showing off isn't worth your financial wellbeing. No one is implying you don't deserve to treat yourself to nice things or vacations once in a while; but if you can't actually afford those things, what favors are you doing yourself?

Keeping up with the Joneses is an effort in vain, and chances are, many of your flashy familiars aren't living as fun and fancy free as they'd have you believe. Not only do they have their own Joneses they're trying to keep up with, but odds are that many of them are also in debt. (See also: 4 Money Lessons You Can Learn From the Joneses)

7. Divorce

When a marriage ends, it can be financially disastrous for both people. Divorce often means that each person is going from two combined incomes to one, and it's even worse for the person who earns less. One person may end up responsible for child support or alimony payments. A divorce might mean you have to sell a home or other assets at an inopportune time. Plus, there can be massive legal costs.

Sometimes divorce is necessary. But couples who are separating can reduce the financial impact by continuing to offer financial support for each other, if they are willing. They can also keep legal costs low by keeping the divorce proceedings as amicable as possible, and by using a mediator or arbitrator instead of going through the court system. (See also: How to Protect Yourself Financially During a Divorce or Separation)

8. Gambling

As many as 4 million people in the U.S. have a gambling disorder, according to industry groups. And Debt.org reports that 23 million people in the U.S. have gone into debt due to gambling, with an average loss of $55,000. If you have a gambling disorder — or even if you only gamble casually — you may be putting yourself at great financial risk.

There are a number of ways to tell if you have a gambling disorder. The American Psychiatric Association lists the following indicators: lying about gambling to friends and family; following up losses with immediate new bets; and turning to others for financial help due to gambling losses.

A gambling addiction is treatable through counseling, and even some medication. If you are finding yourself facing debt caused by gambling, seek help before your financial problems worsen.

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This article is from Tim Lemke of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

15 Soft Skills Every Employer Values

Paul Michael — Wed, 14 Feb 2018 09:30:09 +0000

Employers these days are looking for much more than a resume filled with awards, achievements, and ladder-climbing success. While those hard facts and figures can put you in the running, what will make you stand out from other candidates are your soft skills. These are the skills that cannot really be quantified on paper, but are the difference between a good employee and a great one. How many of these do you have?

1. Strong communication

How you present yourself is just as important as what you're presenting. This will be evident in your interview, but we're usually well-rehearsed and prepared for that particular grilling. How you communicate on a day-to-day basis will be critical to your success as an employee. Can you successfully communicate your ideas, both verbally and on paper? If you are constantly searching for the right words, stuttering, and "Um"-ing, you will come across as unprepared. (See also: 12 Things People With Good Communication Skills Never Do)

2. Confidence

The way you carry yourself, approach clients or other employees, and believe in your ideas will have a huge impact on your success. Wallflowers are not in demand unless they are some kind of savant. Someone with great confidence can outshine someone who has better ideas and abilities, but cowers when placed in the spotlight. Of course, there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and if you push it too far, you can come across as cocky. If that confidence is coupled with a little humility, you'll go far.

3. Teamwork

Very few companies are looking for a new recruit that will sit alone in an office, talking to no one and interacting only with a computer and a smartphone. People are the lifeblood of most businesses, and if you cannot get along with your co-workers, you will find yourself out of a job. Sure, some people are annoying. Some people will just never be friends outside of work. But during office hours, you have to overlook all that and get on with the task at hand. Reach out to people who can help. Be agreeable and helpful. Don't be the rusty cog that stops the machine. (See also: 8 Ways to Deal When You Work With Someone You Hate)

4. A positive outlook

Think about that one person in the office who has a dark cloud hanging above his or her head. Every place of work has a "Debbie Downer," and they are no fun. They suck the air out of the room, are pessimistic, and cannot see potential. Do not be that person. A positive outlook can turn pedestrian projects into exciting opportunities. People who get hyped to work on jobs lift the energy of the whole team. You could be the injection of life that a new employer needs.

5. Critical thinking and problem solving

While these skills may not appear to be high up on the priority list for some jobs, they will always be valued. Even if it's an entry-level job with little responsibility, the ability to think fast on your feet and come up with creative solutions will always be an asset to your future employer. If you're a natural problem solver, you should tout that ability as much as you would a degree.

6. Emotional intelligence

It's known as an EQ, and it is becoming one of the most prized soft skills in the workplace. Knowing your own emotions, and recognizing them within other people, is just as important as the work you're doing. Can you empathize? Can you spot when someone is having emotional problems? Are you able to step back and realize that you need to adjust your own attitude or behavior? A high EQ can be even more valuable to an employer than a high IQ; especially if you plan on managing a team. (See also: This One Skill Can Make You a Better Boss)

7. Being genuinely likable

There's amiable, and there's genuinely likable. Some people are just great at fitting in, finding friends, and making people around them feel completely at ease. If you're one of these people, you should promote this kind of skill. You don't want to brag, because that's just going to come across as arrogant. If you really are a people person, you don't need to say that anyway. The way you present yourself in the interview will show the interviewer how likable you are without having to say it out loud.

8. Adaptability

Life at work, much like everyday life, can change at the drop of a hat. Employers value a member of staff who can roll with the punches and excel under constantly changing conditions. Can you handle a curveball with ease? Are you fine with never knowing what you'll be facing from one day to the next? Do you actually thrive under pressure? You will do well.

9. Courage

This is not about the ability to fight a bear in the woods or do a bungee jump. Workplace courage is more political and requires a different set of skills. It takes courage to stand up to the boss if he or she is about to make a decision that is bad for the company, or the customers. It takes bravery to push an idea that is unpopular with management. But, this is a skill that usually pays dividends for everyone involved. If you can stand up for something and do the right thing, despite your brain screaming at you to stay quiet, an employer that genuinely values that kind of courage is going to love you for it. (See also: 8 Career Moves That Prove You're Finally a Grown-Up)

10. Excellent time management

It's a tired cliché, but time is money. Your employer pays you for your time, and they expect an excellent return on that investment. If you do not have superb time management skills, you will not be good value for the money.

This doesn't just mean coming in early and leaving late. This is about how you manage your day, your workload, and your specific projects. If you devote way too much time on one project and another slides because of it, that's bad time management. If you are great at managing your time, tell your future employer. Have examples ready to prove why you are so good with this particular skill.

11. Patience

They say patience is a virtue, and that patience will be rewarded. When it comes to the job market, they're spot on. Patience is something we learn as we grow (how many patient five-year-olds have you met?), and some of us learn it far better than others. If you fly off the handle if your report is two minutes late, or get incredibly frustrated because you want to move on that deal right away, you could become a liability. Taking a breath, assessing the situation, and handling it with maturity is an essential skill employers are looking for. It also means the boss won't be afraid of you diving headfirst into decisions without thinking them over.

12. Strong organization skills

This applies not just to physical organization, but mental as well. A messy desk or workstation will never be an asset to your career, even if it does prove how busy you are. Keep your space tidy, even if your home is chaotic because that's the way you like it.

If you are also great at organizing people, events, and meetings, you should talk about how this benefited your employers in the past. Any business is going to find someone with strong organizational skills to be a great asset to the team. (See also: 6 Rules of Creating a Powerfully Productive Workspace)

13. Diplomacy

Diplomacy is described as, "The art of dealing with people in a sensitive and effective way." If you have a great EQ, as mentioned earlier, you're halfway there already. However, the notable second part of that description is the word "effective." If you are a great diplomat, you not only know how to handle people with great tact, but also how to influence them to get the result you want. Diplomacy is a great skill to have in the political arena, but it comes in handy in any business that requires two different parties coming together to reach a mutually beneficial agreement.

14. Attention to detail

Theirs a typo in this sentence. Did you spot it? Well, it was a fairly obvious one, made on purpose, but someone with a keen eye for details wouldn't have needed that clue. Likewise, someone that is very detail oriented will be of great value to any company. Whether it's catching errors in a news release, or being extremely particular about the way a certain procedure is handled, that kind of attention to detail is valued and appreciated.

15. Honesty

Last, but by no means least, is the ability to be upfront and truthful from day to day. This does not mean brutal honesty ("Wow John, that suit looks hideous on you"), but the kind of honesty that means people come to you for a genuine response. Not only that, but you will also be trusted more, and respected for your opinions.

Sure, sometimes people don't like your answer, but in the long run, it's better for everyone. Couple this with courage, and you will be the kind of employee that can really make a difference to the company.

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This article is from Paul Michael of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

How to Help Your Adult Children Become Financially Independent

Dan Rafter — Mon, 12 Feb 2018 09:30:06 +0000

Are your adult children still living at home? Are you sending checks to your post-college sons or daughters to help them pay their student loans, car payments, or cellphone bills? If so, you have adult kids who haven't yet become financially independent.

It isn't uncommon for parents to help their grown children with money matters. The problem is how quickly this can stunt a young adult's financial independence. If you've been supporting your adult kids financially, you may need to make some lifestyle changes to help your children break away from the comfort of your bank account. (See also: How to Raise Your Kids to Be Financially Independent)

1. Don't bottle up your feelings

Are you frustrated that your adult children eat your food, throw their dirty laundry in your hamper, and fall asleep on your couch in the middle of the day? Express yourself.

You aren't required to help your adult children financially or provide them a free place to stay, and it's understandable if this is making you unhappy. Make it clear that this is only a temporary situation. And while changes aren't likely to happen overnight, a conversation will get the ball rolling. Sit down with your kids and form a plan for how they are going to move toward financial independence over the next three months. (See also: 7 Money Conversations Parents Should Have With Their Adult Kids)

2. Change the expectations

Forming that plan also means setting the right expectations. Explain that your adult children need to do something to earn your largesse. If you are providing them with a free place to live, for instance, make it clear to them that they must do their own laundry, chip in for buying groceries, pay at least some rent, and help with other household chores.

3. Teach them about budgeting

The quickest way to financial independence is to learn how to spend money wisely. Your adult children won't be able to do this if they don't know how to create a household budget.

Help them create a list of monthly expenses; ones that don't fluctuate, those that do, and those that are discretionary. Next, have them list their monthly income. This will show your kid how much money they have coming in, and how much is going out. They can better figure out how much to stash away in savings or spend on rent, if they are ready to move out.

With a budget guiding them, it is far less likely that your adult children will run into the financial trouble that might land them back on your doorstep. (See also: How to Help Your Kid Build Their First Budget)

4. Help them learn how to use a credit card

A strong credit score is essential. Lenders use this number to determine if you can get a loan or credit card, and at what interest rate. Your adult children will need to establish their own credit history to build strong credit scores. And a higher credit score will help them become financially independent.

The problem many young adults face is that they haven't built up enough of a credit history to have a strong credit score. In some cases, they may not have a credit score yet at all. You can help your kids build a credit score by teaching them how to properly use a credit card.

The key is for your kids to pay their credit card bills on time and in full every month. As a parent, you can teach your adult children how important using credit wisely can be to becoming financially independent. (See also: How to Use Credit Cards to Improve Your Credit Score)

5. Teach them about wants and needs

Your adult children might want the latest iPhone. But they don't necessarily need it. Teach your children the difference between spending on necessities — food, rent, transportation to and from work — and on toys such as high-tech smartphones, the latest laptops, and expensive clothes.

If your children are relying on you for financial assistance, they shouldn't be buying the most expensive new electronics and fashions on the market. Make sure your children know that your financial support isn't intended to fund their more frivolous purchases. (See also: 4 Things You Should Make Your Adult Child Pay For)

6. Set limits

If you want you kids to only spend the money you give them on necessities like rent and transportation, make this clear. Determine how much they will need to spend on items such as monthly train passes, rent, or groceries. Only give them the financial assistance they need to pay for these items.

If your adult children want to spend on other items such as entertainment or electronics, they'll have to earn that money on their own.

7. Work up an end date

Finally, set a date with your adult kids for when your financial assistance will come to an end. Helping an adult child financially shouldn't be a lifelong commitment on your part. You might decide, for instance, to give your children six months to find a place to live and a job that pays enough to cover the rent.

Your end date might not actually be tied to a date. Maybe instead, you'll determine that your financial assistance will end once your children find that higher-paying job they need.

However you set it up, make it clear that your financial help does have a time limit. Without one, your kids might not be motivated to move on from your monetary support.

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This article is from Dan Rafter of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

10 Personal Issues No One at Work Needs to Hear

Kentin Waits — Tue, 11 Oct 2016 10:00:12 +0000

Most Americans spend way too much time at work. In fact, according to a 2015 study by Gallup, the average work week for a full-time employee in the U.S. is 47 hours. Amid all that team-building togetherness, it's easy to blur the line between our professional and personal lives — and jeopardize our careers in the process. Protect your future by avoiding topics that can knock you down a rung or two on the corporate ladder. Here are 10 personal issues no one needs to hear about at work.

1. Legal Troubles

However unfair or inaccurate it may be, your ongoing legal issues imply two things to employers: You have poor judgment, and a litigious personality. Whether you're on the right side of the law or the wrong side, it's good policy to keep legal battles private.

2. Relationship Disasters

Messy divorce? Cheating boyfriend? Breakup that you just can't seem to get over? They may be part of life, but not part of appropriate workplace conversation. Rehashing your relationship disasters communicates that you have difficult time separating your personal and professional worlds — and that's a career-limiting trait.

3. Previous Employment Drama

No surprises here. Skip the stories about the boss who hated you, the coworker who stole your promotion, the office party that got out of hand, or the six-week strike you initiated. Employers tend to frown upon staff members with dramatic work histories, and they're rightfully concerned that certain types of employment issues might be contagious.

4. Sex Life

Tempted to break up a boring afternoon at the office with a tale of romantic misadventure? Abstain. Save the intimate details of your life for close friends, a night out with the guys or girls, or the journal in your nightstand. Beyond the TMI factor, you never know who's listening to your story or sharing it at the water cooler. Those amorous tales could be disastrous for your career.

5. Family Crises

Never-ending family issues suggest that you have a difficult time managing your personal life and setting clear boundaries — two qualities directly related to professionalism and productivity. Granted, nearly everyone deals with a sick kid or childcare challenges from time to time. Just make sure controlling the chaos at home doesn't become part of your daily work schedule.

6. Money Matters

Sure, we've all had a lean month here and there, but broadcasting persistent money problems at work won't get you very far. Besides making employers question your discipline and ability to manage budgets, chronic money issues hint that you may soon be looking for a higher-paying job.

7. Political Positions

Politics is a divisive topic, especially during a contentious election cycle. Though everyone has strong opinions, it's smart strategy to stay neutral from 9-to-5. We're all human; sharing partisan views can directly or indirectly offend someone and limit your prospects for advancement. (See also: 4 Financial Reasons to Keep Your Political Views Private)

8. Religious Views

Like politics, religion is a hot-button topic. It's extremely easy for a casual comment to negatively affect our professional opportunities. Assume nothing about the religious beliefs of those around you, exercise a high level of political correctness, and keep your personal beliefs out of the workplace. (See also: 5 Things Never to Bring Up in a Job Interview)

9. Health Problems

Ideally, every workplace would be filled with compassionate team members genuinely concerned about each other's well-being. Sadly, that's not the case. Discussing ongoing medical issues at work may garner some sympathy and even a more flexible schedule. Still, it comes with its own set of risks. Managers tend to offer new projects and promotions to folks who they believe can handle the extra responsibility, workload, and associated stress.

10. Obsessions

Revealing a bit about ourselves and our personal interests can help build stronger work relationships. Still, there's a fine line between mentioning a hobby and endlessly talking about a time-consuming obsession. Being too focused on personal pursuits may lead employers to think that your career is a third or fourth priority.

This article is from Kentin Waits of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Best Money Tips: Effective Ways to Communicate Better at Work

Amy Lu — Thu, 01 Sep 2016 10:00:12 +0000

Welcome to Wise Bread's Best Money Tips Roundup! Today we found articles on how to communicate better at work, easy habits that will help you curb monthly spending, and tips for moving to a new city.

5 Everyday Words That Are Making You Look Stupid

Amanda Meadows — Tue, 13 Jan 2015 12:00:07 +0000

We use so many words to get us through basic conversation, and we often think very little about how they make us look (like these 10 words corrupting the smartest of us). Let's make correcting our speech an easy New Year's resolution! Let's start with five everyday words that are making you look stupid.

1. "Seriously"

Let's cut to the chase here. If you're really serious about something, just use earnest language. Starting a thought with "seriously" will totally undercut your meaning. In other words, using "seriously" now signals the opposite — that you are not serious about yourself or what you say.

2. "Unique" or "Creative"

Your parents are most likely to fall into this trap, so don't do this to yourself! People tend to say something is "really unique" or "very creative" when they don't understand what they're looking at but want to sound nice. These are phrases that somehow manage to make you look both ignorant and condescending, without providing any useful feedback. The worst part is that all of this is wholly obvious to the recipient.

3. "Actually"

Mansplainers, please find a new word. "Actually" is a great way to tell someone that you think what you are saying is a fact, when it's usually an opinion, speculation, or interpretation of someone else's findings. If you want to correct someone, try talking to them like a person, not like an armchair professor without the credentials. "Actually" is not only a crutch, but a signal to others to stop listening.

4. "Awesome"

It's time to cut all those excessive superlatives from our vocabularies. Describing things, people, and places as "awesome" or "totally rad" or "way cool" all the time betrays a lack of adjectives in your arsenal. With too much use, you could also appear immature and lacking in perspective. If everything is awesome or it sucks, are you capable of observing nuance in the world? Your friends certainly won't think so.

5. "Random"

Our everyday lives are mostly a sequence of cause and effect, right? Calling something or someone "random" on its face is a meaningless comment. Is what you witnessed absurd, surreal, or otherwise strange? Attempt to describe it without calling it "random," which makes you sound like a teenager. There's nothing worse than discussing a topic with someone who displays zero points of reference or bases for comparison.

Any other words to add to this list? Please share in comments!

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This article is from Amanda Meadows of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

7 Ways to Get People to Listen When You Talk

Linsey Knerl — Fri, 05 Dec 2014 12:00:05 +0000

Whether you are leading a business meeting, attempting to persuade an opposing view point, or questioning the actions of your city council, grabbing the attention (and keeping it) of those in your audience is essential to accomplishing your goal. (See also: 25 Ways to Communicate Better Today)

In this day and age of Internet communication, many of us do not feel comfortable speaking in front of a group of people. The tips in this article will help persuade an audience to sit up, pay attention, and hear what you have to say.

1. Consider Your Audience

Before you speak to any group of people, it is important to consider who your audience is going to be. If it for a formal event listed on a public ticketing site, like Eventbrite, check the attendee list to get a feel for who is attending. Scheduling apps and even Facebook event pages have similar RSVP features that can help you get a guest list ahead of time to research and analyze. Once you have an idea of the types of people you are going to be speaking to, think about what it is they want to hear. Spend time trying to find the best possible way to give them what they want while saying what you need to.

What happens if you can't preview who will be there ahead of time? A quick survey at the beginning of the talk can be helpful. A simple show of hands for finding out who has used a particular smartphone app, for example, can be a game changer in making the talk pertinent for a majority of the audience. For small talks (like a one-on-one conversation), prefacing the discussing with a few questions can go a long way.

2. Use Your Big Kid Voice

Parents are constantly telling their children to use their "big girl" or "big boy" voice. That simply means speaking without baby talk or a lot of whine. The same can be said for the adult who is trying to command a room. Slow down, take breaths as you speak, control your pitch and pace while enunciating clearly. If you find your voice cracking from nervousness or dryness, stop to drink some water (which you should keep on hand at all times!)

3. Be Confident

When you are looking to get the attention of others, it is important to show your confidence in what you have to say. A timid, shy person who is stumbling over her words will not garner the attention she needs. Stand tall, hold your head high, speak clearly and with a strong voice. Remember that taking deeper breaths oxygenates your blood and relaxes you, thus helping you think more clearly.

4. Stand (or Sit) Tall and With Purpose

Whether you are standing or sitting, there is an optimal position that you should take to attract the attention of your audience. When standing, keep a tall back, your head held high and your hands clasped near your belly button. Use small gestures with your hands to add emphasis to your words — watch how regulars in the media use their hands. This also can make you appear taller, which is proven to help your authority with an audience. Many experts have claimed that raising their stature by even a few inches has helped them succeed.

When standing, your legs should be slightly apart. This shows confidence. When sitting, however, leaving your forearms on the table in front of you shows a confident, approachable stance that will sustain the attention of your listeners. (This is likely based on the theory that leaning into the table shows dominance of the table, which can help convey to the room that you own all the room — and therefore, the conversation, as well.)

It is also helpful to identify all of your fears ahead of time and think them through to keep them at bay. It's natural to be nervous or even frightened, but using strategic tips such as exaggeration of your symptoms and imagining the best outcome can be effective if done every time you speak.

5. Remain Sure of Yourself — Even If You Lose Your Place

If you are speaking to an audience and lose your place, fumble, or can't seem to get back on track, it may be the appropriate time for a well-planned joke. Those that can laugh at themselves can recapture an audience quickly and get back on track in no time.

No matter what, avoid apologizing when things get rough. Remain sure of yourself and the message you are sending, or the audience will quickly lose interest in you or perceive you as no longer being an authority on your subject.

If someone in a group argues that what you are saying is wrong, invite them to table the discussion to a more appropriate time, rather than saying "I'm sorry you feel that way."

If you are having a one-on-one conversation, choose your words to show you are empathetic but not dissuadable. Go with phrases such as "I hear your words — here are the reasons why I am saying what I am."

Keep track of your goal with any talk, and attempt to get back on topic during moments of conflict. Simply letting the audience know that you understand their frustrations, but that you need to get back to the topic at hand is a must-have skill for anyone speaking publicly.

6. Make Frequent Eye Contact

Making eye contact keeps the audience engaged as no one wants to be caught drifting off or ignoring a speaker. If you catch someone not looking at you while you are speaking, make eye contact with them and repeat it every few moments to maintain their attention. If catching their eye initially is difficult, take a few steps in their direction. Sometimes all a person needs is a reminder that there are other things going on in a room and their attention should be reverted.

7. Keep Them Interested

A person is naturally equipped to change focus every few minutes. To keep your audience from losing their focus on you, change your method of delivery every few minutes. Add in a story that relates to the listener and your topic, apply humor (if you feel comfortable with it), or present the material in a new way.

Teachers use this method daily in a classroom. Those teachers who are considering today's lower attention spans change activities for students every 10-12 minutes and rotate the type of activities from passive to active regularly. Take a cue from teachers and interchange your method of delivery to keep and sustain the attention and focus of your audience.

Whether you are presenting your ideas to a potential client, attempting to motivate your staff, or providing crucial instruction to a group of 15 year olds, these tips will help you ensure that your audience is engaged, focused, and ready to hear what it is you have to say.

How do you keep listeners listening? Please tell us about it in comments — we're all ears!

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This article is from Linsey Knerl of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

8 Dumb Little Things Holding You Back From a Healthy Relationship

Sarah Winfrey — Thu, 04 Dec 2014 13:00:05 +0000

A good relationship is hard to find.

Ask any single person who would love to be in a committed, strong relationship, and they'll tell you. Between their own mistakes and hang ups and those of the people they try to date, sometimes it seems like a miracle that anything could ever work out. (See also: 6 Time-Tested Ways to Make a Relationship Work)

If you want to increase your chances of said miracle, though, make sure you're not engaging in any of these dumb little things that may be holding you back from a healthy relationship.

1. Deferring to Their Opinion

It's nice to let your partner choose where you're going or what you're doing. Some of the time. The problem with deferring all the time, though, is that it shows that you're insecure. And when you are insecure all the time, your partner can feel like they need to fix that for you.

It isn't your partner's job to fix you. And asking them to do this, even if you do it indirectly, won't promote a healthy relationship. If your partner takes you up on this and tries to always reassure you, the relationship can become codependent. If they don't, you can end up angry and resentful towards them because they won't give you what you think you need.

2. Dressing Up to See Them

Sure, you want to impress the person you want to be with (or want to stay with). It's natural that you would want to look your best. However, when your partner never sees you in your normal clothes, it's like you're hiding part of who you are. And if you're hiding here, there's a good chance you're hiding other things, too.

Relationships need truth to survive. Even when that truth is hard, when you're afraid that your significant other won't want to know something about you — whether that's your sexual history or the fact that you have a whole collection of sweatpants — it's better to express them than to keep quiet. Hiding may seem like a small thing, but it can make or break a relationship.

3. Saying Negative Things About Singleness

Even if you're in a relationship, it's worth your time to examine your attitudes about singleness. If you think negatively about single people or about being single, it probably means that you think a person's meaning comes from his or her romantic relationships. This puts a lot of stress on your relationship, because you want your partner to make your life meaningful.

When you expect someone else to give your life meaning, you're asking a lot of them. In fact, you're asking something from them that they can never give you. Because meaning is something that wells up from inside you and that only you can determine whether or not you have, asking another person to give you that is asking them to climb inside your head. Starting a relationship by expecting the impossible will never lead to health.

4. Wondering If You Should Break Up After Every Fight

Most people don't realize that relationships are hard. But conflict should be expected, not a surprise. If you are so surprised that you want to break up, it probably means that you're expecting the relationship to be easy.

When we have an expectation, especially one we haven't talked about or, sometimes, even made conscious, we tend to do whatever we can to make sure things fall into place the way we want them to. This can mean manipulating people, ignoring our feelings, and more. Or, it can mean ending a good relationship once it's no longer perfect.

5. Reminding Someone of What They Did Wrong Last Week

When someone hurts you, it's natural to remember that and to feel wary about interacting with that person in the future. If you keep bringing up your partner's past wrongs, though, it indicates that you're holding a grudge and it often makes the relationship unhealthy.

If you can't get over something that someone did to you, whether it was big or small, you probably shouldn't be with them. Otherwise, you will end up angry at them and distrustful of everything they do, and you could even end up stalking them or putting them under surveillance, which is clearly unhealthy.

6. Rolling Your Eyes

When you roll your eyes, you indicate that you're annoyed in the most dismissive, rude way possible. Sure, it's one little action, and if you do it when your partner can't see you, it won't even bother them. Whether they see you or not, though, an eye roll is indicative of a certain kind of attitude, and it's not one that makes for a healthy relationship.

7. Saying "Yes" When You Mean "No"

If you want to make someone happy, you do whatever they want to do, right? Right? Wrong. Doing whatever someone asks of you all the time means that they control the relationship and you don't. This uneven balance of power can be unhealthy and even destructive, especially if the powerful person decides to take advantage of things.

Saying "No" might make you feel like you're disappointing your partner, but sometimes you have to do that. Setting boundaries is key in healthy relationships, so that people know what they can and cannot expect from you and what you are and are not willing to give.

8. Making Sure Things Are "Even"

It's great that you want things to be fair, but always looking out for that is usually just another way to keep score, which is dangerous for your relationship.

The problem with keeping score, with always knowing whether you owe or are owed, is that it becomes difficult to talk about any particular issue at hand. Every time you disagree with your partner, you'll bring up the past, which means that now you're talking about all of those issues as well as the one right in front of you. This can degenerate into you trying to justify your version of the scorecard while your partner does the same with theirs, which means the issue at hand is never dealt with and is only added to the score, for next time.

What changes have you made to make your relationships healthier? What is one small change that seems to make all the difference?

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This article is from Sarah Winfrey of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

Why You Need to Say Less (and How to Do It)

Mardee Handler — Tue, 15 Jul 2014 11:00:06 +0000

Is it time to ask for a raise? Discipline your child? Apologize to your partner? In many communication situations, fewer words can pack a greater punch, and deliver your message more effectively.

Let's cut to the chase. Here are six reasons you should learn to say less.

1. Keeps Your Listener (or Reader) Engaged

Tune-out happens at the point of information overload. Think about that colleague you try to avoid at the water cooler because a simple question — "Hey, did you see last night's basketball game?" — can turn into a 10-minute analysis of the last free throw shot. After the first two minutes of nodding your head in agreement, don't you wish they picked up on your nonverbal signals that enough is enough? Before long, you've mentally checked out of the conversation and are thinking about all the things waiting for your attention back at your desk, or your grocery list, or last night's dinner snafu. Don't be that colleague. Conversations are meant to be give-and-take, not monopolies.

The average adult attention span has dropped to 5 minutes, down from 12 minutes a decade ago. The result? We have less time than ever to get our point across — whether through an email, presentation, meeting, blog post, or conversation.

2. Conveys Confidence

When it's time to negotiate a raise, focus on the salient reasons you believe you deserve it. "I've increased sales by 23% over the past year, and my customer retention rate has doubled since I started this job." Stop.

Women, especially, tend to "over-explain," particularly when asking for something. Irrelevant details about how you color-coded your filing system, never complain about working late, or that your landlord just raised your rent will not convince your boss that you deserve a pay increase. In fact, all of the extraneous justifications can sabotage your request by coming across as self-doubt.

3. Doesn't Dilute the Point

Let's say you're pitching a website design to a potential client. A presentation that includes the top three benefits — increased conversions, more ad revenue, better customer engagement — will plant a much stronger seed in your client's mind than a laundry list of advantages that begin to run together and overwhelm. The top three will likely get lost in the muddle.

Tangential stories, long explanations, or unnecessary information all tend to water down your most convincing points. By contrast, succinct messages deliver the strongest impact.

The Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP) program encourages parents to "say as little as possible" when delivering a consequence for a misbehavior. "Hitting is inappropriate" or "We don't hit" both convey simple but clear messages. Lectures and long explanations not only lead to toddler tune-out, but also dilute the lesson. What works for toddlers works for everyone else, too.

4. Makes Your Apology Sincere

It happens. Whether in the heat of an argument, or through sheer carelessness, we all slip up and say or do things we later regret.

One cardinal rule in delivering a sincere apology is to avoid use of the words "if" or "but." It's the latter that often results when we launch into a diatribe to prove that what we said or did was justified. And it has the effect of rescinding the apology by shifting the blame to the other party, according to psychologist Joseph Burgo, Ph.D. Keep your apology clear and to the point: "I'm sorry that I got so angry last night. I'll try to keep my temper under control and the next time something bothers me, communicate it in a better way." That's it. Done. No need to rehash or finger-point.

5. Activates Your Filter

Your friends' mother was just diagnosed with a serious illness. Think before you speak. Best not to tell her about your neighbor who suffered miserably before dying from this disease. A simple, "I'm so sorry to hear that; I'll keep your mom in my thoughts," is probably a better route.

Simplicity is also best when saying "no." One of the shortest words in the English language, it is also the most difficult for many to utter. "I'm sorry I won't be able to attend the luncheon, but hope to see you soon" is perfectly okay. No need to provide details of your overflowing calendar (your business, not theirs!) or make up an elaborate excuse to soften the "no."

6. Communicates Strength

Nike's "Just Do It" trademark slogan was coined in the 1980s, but thankfully has had more staying power than poufy hairstyles. Its intent was to encourage people of all ages and athletic ability to participate in some type of exercise. No excuses. Just do it. Your short explanations will have the same staying power.

Do you use the power of brevity in your daily interactions? Please tell us about it in comments (at length, if you must).

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This article is from Mardee Handler of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

STOP! 10 Work Email Mistakes You May Be Making

Tara Struyk — Thu, 10 Jul 2014 11:00:04 +0000

As an online editor and writer who works with many other editors, writers, and all the people in between, I get a lot of email. Like, a lot. As a result, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to make the most of email, how to be efficient at it, and how to ensure that it benefits my work. I'm not the only one. (See also: Get the Response You Want With a Friendly, Professional Email)

According to market research company Radicati, the average American worker received or sent 115 emails per day in 2013, a staggering figure that's expected to rise to 136 emails by 2017.

That's a lot of opportunity to make a mistake. So before you rattle off today's 100+ emails, check out this collection of the 10 worst email mistakes you may be making.

1. You're a Slave to Your Inbox

Research by Mckinsey suggests that we spend more than a quarter of our work hours answering email. I actually think there's a simple reason for that: It can provide instant gratification. When you're flailing away at a tough presentation or hammering out figures in a boring spreadsheet, a new email can feel like a bit of a godsend. Aha! Something I can actually succeed at with only a few seconds of work!

Of course, when we get this attached to email, we end up doing a lot less actual work over all. What to do? According to Alexendra Samuel, an expert on email time management, it's best to create an "email budget" by devoting a specific portion of each day to email. Try answering your email only once or twice per day. What you want to avoid is becoming a slave to everything that drops into your inbox.

2. You Aren't Thinking About Efficiency

Email is a great way of communicating with people, whether you work in the same building or are miles away. However, if you have a close working relationship with someone that tends to require a lot of back-and-forth communication, it's best to have a strategy. And that strategy should not be to email your co-worker every time you think of an idea, have a question, or need a hand. This is especially true if the co-worker you are talking about is your supervisor or your boss. Instead of rapid-firing emails to the same person all day, consider composing one email at the end of each day that includes everything you'd like to say, then following up in person or on the phone to discuss each point. The key is to find a way to make email communication as effective as possible.

3. You Don't Always Bother to Respond

I know I'm not the only one who gets overwhelmed by my inbox, but responding to an email takes almost no time at all, and it can make a huge difference.

Did you get my invoice?
Is the deadline I proposed OK?
Did you review my work?

I don't know because you never responded. Sound familiar? Email does get lost, and people like to know that you've received their messages, even if there isn't much to say about them. A simple "thanks" or "OK" is often all it takes to ensure the sender feels heard. It'll also mean that sender won't have to contact you again just to make sure he or she got through the first time, which means one less email you'll have to deal with.

4. But When You Do Respond, You Respond to Everyone

"Reply All" is a great tool… if you really want that message to go to all the initial recipients of an email. Remember, everyone else on the list probably gets too much email too, so before you hit that button, think about which people actually need to be in the loop. And do not "Reply All" and then address one person — you're just wasting everyone else's time.

5. You Expect Instant Feedback

Just because someone is online all day doesn't mean they're staring at their email queue. Email can be instant, but that doesn't mean it has to be. Give people a chance to respond to your messages in their own time (as long as it's reasonable in the professional context). That's what email is for.

6. You Start Messaging Before You've Finished Reading

If you have a ton of email, be careful about starting at the top and firing off a bunch of responses. This is especially important if you've been out of the office. While you were away, chances are that people found a way to get their questions answered or problems dealt with without your help. Make sure you know the full story and have seen everything they've sent you before you start sending replies that are no longer needed.

7. You Aren't Careful About What You Say (And How You Say It)

When you speak to someone in person, you can say all kinds of things that just won't translate in an email. You can smile and roll your eyes to show that you're being sarcastic; you can behave kindly when you deliver harsh criticism; you can make jokes and ensure that your humor hasn't missed the mark. In text, this is very very tricky.

That means that you have to be very careful what you say in an email — and how you say it, especially when what you're saying is or could be interpreted as criticism. If you have to discuss something sensitive by email, read over what you've written very carefully to ensure it strikes the right tone. If you aren't sure that it does, that's a conversation to have in person. Although many people will tell you it's unprofessional, I'm also a fan of using a few emoticons in work emails, particularly smiley faces. I think it helps make it clear that I'm trying to be friendly, rather than abrupt and confrontational.

8. You Forward Forwards

Forwarding email was a big thing back in the day when email was just something people played around with and used for social correspondence. Now, email is used for everything from basic communication to a means for conducting major business deals. In other words, there isn't much room for junk anymore. If you have something awesome to forward, forward it to the people who will appreciate it. But please, please, please do not indiscriminately forward every joke and cat video that comes through your inbox.

Please.

9. You Turn the Gossip Mill

Whether you'd like to think about it or not, if you have a work email address, it probably goes through your employer's server. In other words, any email that you send from that account is not your email — it's your employer's email. And that means that your employer can read those messages.

If you feel the need to rant about how horrible your boss is, or how lazy the receptionist is, or about how you haven't been working all day because you're hung over, email is not the place to do it. Your boss might just get to read that email someday. Whether that happens while you're still working for the company or after you've moved on, it could have a major impact on the kind of reference you're able to get for that job.

10 You Write Lame Subject Lines

If I have too much email to tackle in one day, I try to scan through it and answer the messages that are the most pressing. It's a pretty good time management strategy, but the people sending me email kind of have to play along by providing some indication of the timeliness and importance of their messages. And that means being specific. For example, an email titled "Question about article due tomorrow" tells me I need to get to work immediately and find out what I can do to help. An email titled "Question" tells me next to nothing and is more likely to be overlooked. If you want timely and helpful responses to your email messages, be a good sender by giving your email an accurate subject line.

Email is simple. It's convenient. It's fast. But it can also leave you totally unproductive and, if you send the wrong kind of email, possibly even unemployed. Whether you tend to send more email than you receive or vice versa, the responsibility for efficient, effective email belongs to both parties. Here's to hoping we can all help each other email a little better — and by that I mean a whole lot less.

What's the worst email mistake you've ever committed (or read)? Please share in comments!

This article is from Tara Struyk of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

How to Talk About Retirement With Your Spouse

Emily Guy Birken — Sun, 27 Apr 2014 21:28:01 +0000

There are plenty of reasons why you might be avoiding The Talk with your spouse. And you're not alone. Only 38% of married couples plan for retirement together.

Granted, having a long heart-to-heart with your sweetie about asset allocation, investment strategies, and Social Security may only be slightly more romantic than discussing your father-in-law's recent colonoscopy — but not talking about it can exacerbate your fears, worries, and unmet expectations for the future.

If you're not sure how to broach the retirement conversation with your spouse, here is what you need to know. (See also: Hard Conversations You Have to Have With Your Spouse)

Start Dreaming

Mary Poppins taught us that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, and that's just as true for adults who are putting off making retirement decisions as it is for six-year-olds who'd rather not clean up.

Instead of starting with the dollars and cents of your retirement needs, get started by daydreaming with your spouse about what an ideal retirement will look like. Do you want to travel? Move to France? Finally get that little cottage on the beach?

If you start your retirement conversation with your spouse by talking about where you want your life to take you together, then it will be much easier to get excited for the less interesting or enjoyable aspects of planning. There's nothing more motivating than a fun goal.

Starting with this conversation can also help you to discover if you and your spouse have differing expectations about what your retirement will look like. It's much better to learn early on that he wants to sell the house and live out of an RV and that she wants to keep the house and turn it into a bed & breakfast. (See also: 7 Truths for a Successful Retirement)

Determine Your Minimums

Once you've gotten a chance to indulge in your pie-in-the-sky dreams together, it's time to talk about the other side of the coin: what is the minimum you will each need to feel comfortable in retirement?

Unfortunately, this is often a time when spouses might disagree and argue over what is appropriate. Phil Taylor, blogger at PTMoney.com, wrote in U.S. News and World Report that these disagreements stem from the fact that you are not speaking the same language:

When you talk about money with your spouse, you really need to understand what type of financial life will bring you both happiness and safety. If you can clearly define what happiness and safety are for your spouse, then you can begin to have a healthy conversation about money.

Talking openly with your spouse about the minimum you will each need to feel safe and content in retirement will give you a baseline for your retirement income — while your fun retirement dreams will give you something to aim for. (See also: How Much Money Will You Need to Retire?)

Take Stock of Where You Are

Once you've had those two discussions, it's time to get down to the nitty-gritty: how much have you already saved, and how much do you still need to put aside?

This is both the easiest and the hardest step. It's easy, because it's simply a matter of looking up numbers (you do have the paperwork from your workplace retirement account, right?) and using an online retirement calculator to determine your future plans.

But taking stock is also really tough because you might be afraid that you're already too far behind to make a difference. That's why so many couples play ostrich rather than deal with the real numbers.

Of course, the truth is that you can't get where you want to go without knowing where you are now. If one spouse is more comfortable with number crunching, it can be helpful for him or her to be the point person in determining where you are and where you need to go. This is also a good time to set up a meeting with a trusted financial advisor who can help you figure out your retirement path. (See also: Advice You Shouldn't Hear From Your Financial Advisor)

Decide on Your Savings Plan

Once you know where you are currently and where you want to go, then it's time to put in place an action plan for getting there. This includes everything from determining how much you will each contribute to your retirement accounts to how you will systematically increase your contributions through the years to what your investing strategy will be.

Again, having a financial planner can help with this portion of your retirement planning. Not only will having regular appointments with your advisor prompt you to make decisions you might otherwise put off, but your advisor will also help you to understand the complexities of retirement planning that might otherwise feel overwhelming to you as a couple.

Set Up a Regular Retirement "Date" With Your Spouse

If you're dreading The Talk, I'm afraid I have bad news: unlike telling your kids where babies come from, you'll need to have this uncomfortable talk more than once. Specifically, you and your spouse should talk at least once a year about your retirement plans.

One way to make this something you both look forward to (instead of something you rank up there with root canals for sheer entertainment value) is to actually make your annual retirement talk a date. Plan on either going out to dinner or letting the kids spend the night with friends while you talk finances over a delicious meal. It's a lot harder to argue with the person you're literally planning the rest of your life with when you're sharing some mushroom risotto and a glass of wine.

Whether or not you and your spouse are in complete agreement about your retirement plans and strategies, keeping the lines of communication open and regularly revisiting those plans will ensure that your retirement will happen, even if the specifics remain a little hazy until you get there.

Making Finance Hot

There are very few couples out there who consider running spreadsheets to be a hot date. And that's a big part of the reason why so many couples simply do not talk to each other about issues like retirement: it's boring, and it can be incredibly difficult to reconcile two completely different money attitudes.

It's time to look at retirement planning differently. Talking about retirement is a new way to learn about the person you love. Having discussions about retirement can be as exciting as those first conversations you had while dating, since it can give you new insight into your sweetheart.

Then, if running spreadsheets simply does not get your motor running, you can always hire someone to help you with that.

Meanwhile you and your spouse can look starry-eyed at each while you plan your golden years.

How do you handle The Talk with your partner? Please take a moment to talk about it in comments!

This article is from Emily Guy Birken of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

10 Tips to Up Your Chances of Getting an Email Response

POPSUGAR Smart Living — Fri, 21 Mar 2014 09:24:18 +0000

We're all familiar with the feeling that the emails we sent must have been sucked into some black hole because we never received a response. Sure, it's possible that your email went straight to spam, but the more likely scenario is either the recipient isn't interested or is too busy to respond. Here are some tips that may score you a reply.

1. Check Your Writing

Make sure the email is free of grammar and punctuation errors. It tends to look less professional if it's rife with mistakes, which may mean your email won't be taken seriously.

2. Stay Professional but Friendly

Watch the tone of your email. Make sure you keep it professional but friendly. And remember not to go overboard with the friendliness. Stay clear of emoticons, an excessive amount of exclamation marks, and capitalizing words for emphasis — you're not a used-car salesman.

3. Keep It Short

Try to be as brief as you can. If the person does not know you, she is less likely to spend time reading your email. If you keep your emails short, she's more likely to get through the whole email.

4. Be Specific

You're writing the email for a reason, so you should be clear about your goals. It's even helpful to be specific in the subject line as well, says a former Google recruiter. Using bullet points may also help you get your point across more quickly and help the reader figure out what you want.

5. Get an Introduction

If possible, try to get someone to introduce you to the person instead of emailing cold. You'll definitely raise your chances of getting a response with a referral. Scour your LinkedIn contacts to see if you have any in common with the person you're trying to reach.

6. Check With Someone When You Use Them as a Referral

Perhaps your shared contact and the person you're trying to get in touch with have an awkward relationship. It's best not to bring up the shared contact's name if you didn't check in with them before. It could be someone's ex or someone the contact had a falling out with. This will hurt your chances of getting a response. Instead, try your best to rely on your shared contact for an introduction or don't refer to them at all.

7. No Pressure

Do not immediately ask the contact for a referral. If the contact doesn't know you, it's a huge favor to ask of him or her. Instead, feel out the situation and commit some time to the contact. Ask her for advice on applying and take her out for coffee. During your conversation, try to feel out if she's willing to refer you, or better yet, wait for her to offer. If she has voiced some discomfort about referring people, don't push it.

8. Don't Bombard

If you haven't received a response, don't keep sending multiple emails in hopes that the person will finally cave. Instead, spread your emails out and limit them. Follow up one week after the initial email, and if you still haven't heard back, send the third email two weeks later. And if no one responds to your third email, it's time to switch gears and try something else. Also, if a person says that they will get back to you if they are interested, you should probably wait for them to get back to you.

9. Find the Right Person

Get the contact information of the right person to reach out to. If you email the wrong person, chances are they may not bother forwarding your email to the right contact because as a stranger, your email would be considered low priority.

10. Limit the Amount of People You Reach Out To

If you're trying to get in touch with someone in the organization and haven't been able to get a response, don't start emailing everyone in it. Try to limit it to at most two people. People talk, and if they find out that the same person has been emailing multiple contacts, it will come off as desperate, which is not a good impression if you're trying to be professional.

If the email is not working, try other means such as interacting with her on social media or meeting in person. Remember, there is a fine line between being persistent and a pest, so do your best to toe that line.

It's frustrating when you send someone an email and never get a response. Follow these steps to improve your chances.

Guest Post Blurb:

This is a guest contribution from our friends at POPSUGAR Smart Living. Check out more useful articles from this partner:

This article is from POPSUGAR Smart Living of Wise Bread, an award-winning personal finance and credit card comparison website. Read more great articles from Wise Bread:

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