The Gettin'-Baptized-in-the-Watah Epiphany


As of this writing, it is day eight of a 40-day fast where I will only drink water. But hold up now, I know what you’re thinking, it’s not me just drinking water and not eating. That would be stupid, unhealthy and I would end up suplexing someone who doesn’t deserve to be suplexed. Yes suplex. That’s index, figure to the belt-loop, lift and flip a person because not eating is not good.
No, I have for this period – which happens to coincide with Lent but that is not the cause of the endeavor – decided that I will not eat excessively and I will forego all of the lovely liquid trappings of our modern world. Ah the bitter-sweet, absolutely nothing taste of  fresh H2o! The sweet clear, cleansing and tasteless nectar that will intoxicate one who will not get intoxicated.
Here it is until April 7, the conditions of this haj:
Can’t drink: Milk, Goat Milk, Cow Milk, Kiefer, fried bong water, “OG Suga Watah”, Act-Rite JOOCE, coffee, tea, hot dog water, mineral water, soda, soft drinks, pop,  smoothies, chocolate or strawberry shakes; soda-pop, protein drinks, POM Wonderful, lemonade, Snapple, Gatorade, Acai Berry Juice. Then there's whiskey (ouch), cognac (that smarts), Guinness (wow) and damn it this one hurts: no bacon-cheddar cheese-stick juice yummy, yummy (really gonna miss that one until April).
Can drink: Water, Water and uhhhh, Water (From tap, bottled or with lemon and ice).
It’s the return of the point man. After only a week, I see the real difference in my pocket book and I don’t feel much of a difference, addiction wise. And don’t miss anything -- except maybe for the BCCS juice, I know,  right, delishhh – and I find that I’m winning on two fronts and may look to incorporate this into my life permanently, save a few special occasions.
A friend and one very special person pointed it out it to me because I hadn’t thought about it until now. Yeah I'm on this water fast but I'm saving money too. Guess I was spending too much time tried and tested for not having Gatorade after my morning runs or coffee to put the edge on, or a John Daniels or Jack Walker (I know them by their given names) to take the edge off.
Pondering this, I surmised that in an average day, in this fast-paced society, a person (namely myself or those of my ilk) may spend up to $20 per day on a combination of drinks. These are liquids that come with meals, morning coffee, herbal tea, Jamba Juice or my favorite over-priced store bought smoothie, Naked juice. This is to say nothing of the deceased potatoes, fermented wheat, tonics, spirits and dead grapes that some of us just must have in excess come Friday night through Sunday – especially when told about AIG’s latest quarterly loss.
But right now, when baptized with this watah, yes sirrr, I’m on pace to spend next to zero instead of  nearly $1,040 for the year on beverages alone and if I realize that if I can even save half of that, it makes a difference.
Suffice it to say, I will not drink only water as my next investment plan, choosing instead of diversifying into bonds to get a Sparkletts bottle. Nothing of the sort.
Actually I will likely be in the fetal position come April. 
At midnight of the 7th,  I might just shun all food to imbibe everything on the “can’t drink list.” But I’ve seen the liiiiiight brothers and sisters, I’ve learned a lesson.
I feel better, my circulatory system flows more pure, stomach is leaner, pockets are fatter. How’s that for Wisebread, which I can still eat by the way. So I can jail time it. That’s getting’ swoll off bread and water. No? Okay well, this is proof positive that a sacrifice in lifestyle instead of a mere sacrifice in conspicuous consumption wins out -- without you even thinking about it. 
And I can drink to that.
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Guest's picture

Very impressive. Best of luck to you!

I hope lots of readers are inspired by your very reasonable goals, and try this themselves. Thank you for sharing.

Guest's picture

The only thing I drink besides water is coffee.

Each morning I have 2 cups of coffee, and I carry my 1 liter Nalgene bottle at all times. I end up drinking between 3-5 of them a day. I've been doing this for years.

Sure I have the occasional soda, but about 6 days a week I'm drinking nearly nothing but water. I have not turned into a water buffalo or a water chestnut yet, but I'm still waiting...

Good luck!


Guest's picture

I am assuming that you are EATING food and not just living off of water?

If you're not, then what you are doing is dangerous.

Jabulani Leffall's picture

Hello, Thank you for reading me and being concerned. As I explained here, I don't want to have to lift someone and then fall back in slow motion as they drop to the canvas:

"But hold up now, I know what you’re thinking, it’s not me just drinking water and not eating. That would be stupid, unhealthy and I would end up suplexing someone who doesn’t deserve to be suplexed. Yes suplex. That’s index figure to the belt-loop, lift and flip a person because, not eating is not good."




Jabulani Leffall

Monetary Gadfly, Common Currency

00000 Broke Blvd. Kitchenette #68 & 1/2

Lowcash, CA 90000-0000

Guest's picture

Did you read the post at all? He clearly stated at the beginning not to get upset that yes, he is eating. It is coffee, tea, juices etc that he gave up.

Guest's picture

Mainly a water, coffee (homemade) and tea (homemade) person myself, and loving the extra cash, too. Congrats on your adventure in good drinking!

Guest's picture

Good for might also affect your waistline!

Guest's picture

Drink your water. Cleanse your palate. Enjoy extra money. :) Get with it.

Guest's picture

Great post!

My husband and I have been doing this for years.
I make a fresh fruited water everyday in our water pitchers.
Add sliced lemons, limes, calamansi, oranges, apples, peaches, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries....whatever you have available. I also add a couple of sprigs of mint from our herb garden for flavor.

As Mikey from the Life cereal commercial used to say,
"Try'll like it"!

Best to you on your water journey.

Guest's picture

Keep going!

Here are some ideas to add some variety to your water:

Guest's picture

Great post. When you stop and think about it people do consume a large volume of calories and gunk via the liquids they drink. You also don't feel like you ate if you drank 300 calories of something. It is a huge amount of cash. Even if you just make water your main drink and those other drinks more as treats you will be way ahead. Go one step further and shun the expensive bottled water for filtered or distilled water from home.

Guest's picture

Multiply this by five. When the whole family goes out to eat, we just enjoy the free water with our meal. My kids don't even try to go for the pop or milk choice (unless it goes with the meal and even then they forget and order water)

Guest's picture

Aw, I think I live at Kitchenette 67 1/2 on Broke Boulevard with you! I love your writing. :)

Guest's picture

Even if the author were doing a water only fast, there is a lot of medical and scientific evidence that going without food for a period of time (days or weeks) can be very healthful for many people and has been shown to cure disease.

Guest's picture
Mom of 6

I've been drinking a little more than a gallon of water a day for years. I don't try, I just like drinking it. Good water tastes good. Bad water tastes bad. Yes, I am a water snob. S-N-O-B. And darned proud of it. Go ahead, yell at me for paying for my water. I don't spend any more on my water than others spend on fluids that impact their health negatively.

Come Easter, (probably not Easter Sunday, but definitely the day after) I'll lift a pint O'Guinness in your honor, sir. In the meantime, cheers!

Guest's picture

Instead of reaching for Gatorade (or other sport drink) after your next run, try a tablespooon full of honey in a tall glass of water. You'll still get a pick-me-up, some essential nutrients and no high fructose corn syrup!

Guest's picture

I've been doing this for years. Not to save money or anything. I just LOVE water.
There's nothing like it.
Anything else you drink will leave you...thirsty!
Soda (ick!) is extremely sticky, so I end up having to wash it down with water afterwards anyway, and it doesn't quench my thirst to begin with. (I personally find absolutely NO reason for soda to even exsist!)

Now, I do drink other drinks, don't get me wrong.
It's just that 95% of what I drink, is water.
I also love milk, so that's pretty much the other 5%.
In the summer, I'll have some lemonade sometimes, but usually, that's the best time for water. When it's cold, and everyone is having their coffee (which I have no problem with...I just never learned to like it!) I'll have some hot chocolate.(what's better than chocolate water!!??)
And on the weekends with friends, I'll have a couple of my girly beers. (Smirnoff, Mike's, etc...)
Strange thing though, in between drinks, I'll always reach for my water bottle for a quick refreshing sip! (and no, I'm not diabetic!)

My body just likes water. And milk. And lemonade. All drinks that don't have "effects", basically. People think I'm so boring, as they drink their stomach rotting sodas...

My husband has always been thrilled that I'm a "cheap date". When we're at a restaurant, I always order water. It's soooo less expensive!

I have always tried to fill my kid's sippy cups with water.
Sometimes I'd give them juice, and of course milk, but the main thing was always water. It's natural. It's what all live things were MEANT TO DRINK!!! So there can't be anything wrong with it. (well, except what humans have done to the water!)

Water rocks.
Water rules.
Nothing quenches your thirst like water.
Why do people carry a soda around all day?
Because their thirst is not getting quenched! Sure, they're getting liquid, but it's leaving a sugary, sticky residue, that you're subconsiously trying to wash away with every sip, and every next bottle or can!
Just drink some water, and you won't be one of those people who is never seen without their bottle of coke or pepsi or whatever.

Just make sure the water is really really cold, so it tastes good. (I like it so much, I can drink it warm.) I do notice it doesn't taste so good sometimes. So if you're trying this out, definately make sure it's cold. Or put stuff in it to flavor it, like some people have mentioned above. I personally just like plain old water, but hey...go for it!

Guest's picture

As someone who grew up drinking only water, milk, and the occasional bottled "fruit" juices, I definitely applaud you on this. In our home, soda was a twice-a-year thing (Thanksgiving and Christmas) that really meant on one thing: 7-Up. Still not a big soda, milk, or bottled juice drinker (people make fun because I inevitably water down my "juice." I'm sweet enough, thanks. ;-)

Good luck--whether or not you backslide, your palate and your wallet will thank you.