Some of the questioning of other people's purchases is constructive. It is easier for someone else to criticize an expense but it can make you stop and think about it. Do you really enjoy that thing or service? Is it work carving out a place in your budget for it?
We went through this whole exercise last year and found there were some things we were spending money on that we just really didn't get a significant meaningful value out of.
Stopping for coffee multiple times a day didn't really serve a benefit. We found that the right mix of machines, beans and some practice resulted is better espresso at home than Starbucks (what is nearby). So instead we save it for going out for coffee when we are near one of the good coffee places and consider it an indulgence.
Really my whole mindset around what I see as an indulgence or what is important has drastically changed. There are so many things I quit doing or buying that I simply do not miss.
I've found life is much simpler when you are content with your own decisions and stop beating yourself up over convincing everyone around you that what you're doing is right. There's something nice about being comfortable in your own skin.
Fred - I couldn't agree with you more. I believed daydreams were beneficial to my writing career long before I ever read any scientific studies :) You've got to give your mind permission to wander and breathe a bit from time to time.
I pick and choose what I want and as long as I stay within my budget it is okay with me regardless of what others think.
I am one of the bloggers who will not give up cable because even though I use Hulu, some of the shows are not available (at least I have not found them yet.)
I also will not give up my expensive face lotion because I have seen the effects of store brand items on my skin and I prefer to spend the money there.
I have given up using the brand name milk because it tastes the same as store brand milk and has the same nutrients. I just pick and choose what I want to sacrifice so I can splurge on the things I want. I do not feel deprived in any way because I enjoy the splurges so much more than I feel any sense of 'loss' from the sacrifices.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree that when you have money problems, it may not be the best time to start or add to your family (whether or not you enjoy trying is a different matter). But, being a father of two, I think it's never a perfect time, and if you wait around for it, it just may never happen.
As far as connecting, I think it's an essential aspect of being the social creatures that we are.
In the end, I would never encourage people to daydream at their jobs thinking it would further their careers, but it's hard to argue with the fact that at some point there is some benefit to taking a break and giving your mind a breather, if only for sake of maintaining your sanity. And at least in the world of scientific research, walking away for a brief moment can do wonders for one's clarity, succeeding where mindless repetition failed.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and don't let your boss catch you drifting off!
I had a mortgage with Wells Fargo several years ago. Because of circumstances out of my control I could not make my mortgage payment. They (WF) gave me one phone # after another to call to talk to someone with their company for assistance. All it was was a huge run around. I sold my house legitimately right before they foreclosed and they wouldn't even talk to me or my realtor. It was a nightmare and I will NEVER do any business with Wells Fargo again! They are crooked as they come, but who you gonna tell?
I used to determine that a candy bar was worth it if the money needed to pay for it fit on top. (So I never bought a Chunky.) It's always a tradeoff. Five years ago we went to Italy as a family. We stayed at modest places and had only one really nice restaurant meal. But it was grand, well worth the eight years of scrimping to pay for it. We saw brazen Italian pigeons at the Uffizzi cafe, elephants at the Rome zoo, ate tons of pizza and gelati, met wonderfully kind people, experienced a crazy Roman cab ride (the guy was speeding, talking on a cell phone in one hand, passing on the right on the curb-what a way to wake up from jet lag), almost got pickpocketed, stayed in the mountains with the windows open and no mosquitoes. Ahh. Definately a luxury and totally indefensible.
Talk to your wife and listen to your own gut feelings and follow it.
But here is free advise anyways;
1. Pay any debts you have
2. save for emergency fund (if you do not have it, or not enough)
3. save, invest some for future (house, baby, car etc)
4. give small amounts to people who need it more than you
people who have lost thier homes, behind medical bills etc, you will feel lot better.
The problem is that most people spend unconsciously, so they don't even get the full pleasure from their luxuries. They're not giving more than a ho-hum thought to whether they love premium orange juice enough to pay more for it than frozen. They're wooed by advertizing, or by some vague memory of having liked this brand in the past.
That's why those "list" articles -- and frugality articles in general -- are a useful mental exercise. It's useful to ask the question: how much pleasure does Netflix (or whatever) bring to our family? Is it worth the money? If we gave it up, what could we do instead?
If we ask these questions, maybe we can really get our full measure of pleasure for the luxuries we decide to keep.
As I buy organic, free-range eggs, I always point out to my children how much better they taste, how high they are in essential fatty acids, how it's kinder to the chickens. Because I'm buying consciously, I get the full pleasure from my purchase.
I see it as a matter of the things that I dealt away with rather than what I do without. It is liberating not living in a fantasy world where a Frappuccino is a necessary luxury.
We live in a 1br apt, we only have one car, we conserve energy and resources, reuse/recycle, eat organic on a budget (for example, my parents have a large garden and I help them with that), prepare most of our meals and regular use items (like yogurt, soap, household cleaners, etc.)-- and I actually feel that my "standard of living" have improved since all these changes have become the norm.
My husband is able to work part-time, and I'm a freelancer, so we get to have a lot of time to go out play tennis (public court!), walk around downtown (we live in a downtown area so one car isn't an issue), go to the beach, and just enjoy life. I guess if I had to pick a luxury, then I would pick all of the extra time that I now have.
When we both worked full-time jobs, had a 2k sq. ft house, 2 cars, and all the etc's, having extra time for ourselves was a luxury we couldn't afford. Ironic, huh?
I went to the web site makehomeaffordable.gov . I read the requirements and found out we fall within the criteria. I contacted the HUD counselor as the site advised. After I gave the counselor all our information,he laughed and said that we didn't make enough to qualify and that the bank would most likely not negociate with us. I'm tring to continue to pay them I just need to send less money per month! I think they need to stop being so greedy and take what they can get(in our area houses are not selling at all they are setting empty in weed filled yards, being vandilized by punk kids!)That will help the banks resale plans to recover funds!! NOT!!! . The goverment is offering to back the new loans! Banks need to get on the wagon before we all go down!!
That is an interesting line of thought. Like you, I would have a hard time answering what I have given up. I'm sure I could rattle off all kinds of things that I don't have that others would view as luxuries, but I really don't want them. If I truly want something, I try my best to make room for it.
Like you, I have everything I want. People never believe that, however. They think I am suffering. I always say, "If I wanted that, I would have it." But they don't believe me.
I think it's important to continually remind yourself to focus on your own priorities and not worry about how they compare to other people around you. As an example, one of the luxuries that is "worth it" to me is riding horses, which costs me a few hundred a month. I can't allow myself to be jealous of neighbors who can afford to shop at Whole Foods, or who can afford to buy big-screen TVs or new furniture, or go on vacations that don't involve driving to g'ma and g'pas. We could afford any of those things easily if we rearranged our spending, but they're just not priorities for us.
Some of the questioning of other people's purchases is constructive. It is easier for someone else to criticize an expense but it can make you stop and think about it. Do you really enjoy that thing or service? Is it work carving out a place in your budget for it?
We went through this whole exercise last year and found there were some things we were spending money on that we just really didn't get a significant meaningful value out of.
Stopping for coffee multiple times a day didn't really serve a benefit. We found that the right mix of machines, beans and some practice resulted is better espresso at home than Starbucks (what is nearby). So instead we save it for going out for coffee when we are near one of the good coffee places and consider it an indulgence.
Really my whole mindset around what I see as an indulgence or what is important has drastically changed. There are so many things I quit doing or buying that I simply do not miss.
Great article...it can be confusing to know how to break into freelancing. I know that a lot of people will benefit from this post.
where can I buy blue or pink sand for a $1?
Thanks, Lalah
I've found life is much simpler when you are content with your own decisions and stop beating yourself up over convincing everyone around you that what you're doing is right. There's something nice about being comfortable in your own skin.
Fred - I couldn't agree with you more. I believed daydreams were beneficial to my writing career long before I ever read any scientific studies :) You've got to give your mind permission to wander and breathe a bit from time to time.
I pick and choose what I want and as long as I stay within my budget it is okay with me regardless of what others think.
I am one of the bloggers who will not give up cable because even though I use Hulu, some of the shows are not available (at least I have not found them yet.)
I also will not give up my expensive face lotion because I have seen the effects of store brand items on my skin and I prefer to spend the money there.
I have given up using the brand name milk because it tastes the same as store brand milk and has the same nutrients. I just pick and choose what I want to sacrifice so I can splurge on the things I want. I do not feel deprived in any way because I enjoy the splurges so much more than I feel any sense of 'loss' from the sacrifices.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree that when you have money problems, it may not be the best time to start or add to your family (whether or not you enjoy trying is a different matter). But, being a father of two, I think it's never a perfect time, and if you wait around for it, it just may never happen.
As far as connecting, I think it's an essential aspect of being the social creatures that we are.
In the end, I would never encourage people to daydream at their jobs thinking it would further their careers, but it's hard to argue with the fact that at some point there is some benefit to taking a break and giving your mind a breather, if only for sake of maintaining your sanity. And at least in the world of scientific research, walking away for a brief moment can do wonders for one's clarity, succeeding where mindless repetition failed.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and don't let your boss catch you drifting off!
I had a mortgage with Wells Fargo several years ago. Because of circumstances out of my control I could not make my mortgage payment. They (WF) gave me one phone # after another to call to talk to someone with their company for assistance. All it was was a huge run around. I sold my house legitimately right before they foreclosed and they wouldn't even talk to me or my realtor. It was a nightmare and I will NEVER do any business with Wells Fargo again! They are crooked as they come, but who you gonna tell?
Oh boy, I can see this scenario:
Boss: Earth to CB!
Me: (Returning from daydream) Huh? Go away, I'm working hard.
Boss: Really? By staring off into space? How much am I paying you? You have 10 minutes to pack up your stuff and leave!
Me: I shouldn't take all of the advice I get literally. Especially in this job market.
I used to determine that a candy bar was worth it if the money needed to pay for it fit on top. (So I never bought a Chunky.) It's always a tradeoff. Five years ago we went to Italy as a family. We stayed at modest places and had only one really nice restaurant meal. But it was grand, well worth the eight years of scrimping to pay for it. We saw brazen Italian pigeons at the Uffizzi cafe, elephants at the Rome zoo, ate tons of pizza and gelati, met wonderfully kind people, experienced a crazy Roman cab ride (the guy was speeding, talking on a cell phone in one hand, passing on the right on the curb-what a way to wake up from jet lag), almost got pickpocketed, stayed in the mountains with the windows open and no mosquitoes. Ahh. Definately a luxury and totally indefensible.
Yes, we want to be civil and not say mean things or use offensive words. Thanks for visiting and understanding.
Talk to your wife and listen to your own gut feelings and follow it.
But here is free advise anyways;
1. Pay any debts you have
2. save for emergency fund (if you do not have it, or not enough)
3. save, invest some for future (house, baby, car etc)
4. give small amounts to people who need it more than you
people who have lost thier homes, behind medical bills etc, you will feel lot better.
my 2 cents,
so coooooooooooool
I responded that using debit would cost me money and if it was a problem, I'd just make my purchases somewhere else.
That's the way it did work and should work.
that's the most important thing.
I agree! This is just the same when hunting for a job.
The problem is that most people spend unconsciously, so they don't even get the full pleasure from their luxuries. They're not giving more than a ho-hum thought to whether they love premium orange juice enough to pay more for it than frozen. They're wooed by advertizing, or by some vague memory of having liked this brand in the past.
That's why those "list" articles -- and frugality articles in general -- are a useful mental exercise. It's useful to ask the question: how much pleasure does Netflix (or whatever) bring to our family? Is it worth the money? If we gave it up, what could we do instead?
If we ask these questions, maybe we can really get our full measure of pleasure for the luxuries we decide to keep.
As I buy organic, free-range eggs, I always point out to my children how much better they taste, how high they are in essential fatty acids, how it's kinder to the chickens. Because I'm buying consciously, I get the full pleasure from my purchase.
I see it as a matter of the things that I dealt away with rather than what I do without. It is liberating not living in a fantasy world where a Frappuccino is a necessary luxury.
We live in a 1br apt, we only have one car, we conserve energy and resources, reuse/recycle, eat organic on a budget (for example, my parents have a large garden and I help them with that), prepare most of our meals and regular use items (like yogurt, soap, household cleaners, etc.)-- and I actually feel that my "standard of living" have improved since all these changes have become the norm.
My husband is able to work part-time, and I'm a freelancer, so we get to have a lot of time to go out play tennis (public court!), walk around downtown (we live in a downtown area so one car isn't an issue), go to the beach, and just enjoy life. I guess if I had to pick a luxury, then I would pick all of the extra time that I now have.
When we both worked full-time jobs, had a 2k sq. ft house, 2 cars, and all the etc's, having extra time for ourselves was a luxury we couldn't afford. Ironic, huh?
Can one be a licensed treasure hunter?
If so, then one can just go to the Philippines, declare a gold find, get this certified in whatever way.
The treasure certificate should explain the extra wealth.
I went to the web site makehomeaffordable.gov . I read the requirements and found out we fall within the criteria. I contacted the HUD counselor as the site advised. After I gave the counselor all our information,he laughed and said that we didn't make enough to qualify and that the bank would most likely not negociate with us. I'm tring to continue to pay them I just need to send less money per month! I think they need to stop being so greedy and take what they can get(in our area houses are not selling at all they are setting empty in weed filled yards, being vandilized by punk kids!)That will help the banks resale plans to recover funds!! NOT!!! . The goverment is offering to back the new loans! Banks need to get on the wagon before we all go down!!
That is an interesting line of thought. Like you, I would have a hard time answering what I have given up. I'm sure I could rattle off all kinds of things that I don't have that others would view as luxuries, but I really don't want them. If I truly want something, I try my best to make room for it.
Like you, I have everything I want. People never believe that, however. They think I am suffering. I always say, "If I wanted that, I would have it." But they don't believe me.
I think it's important to continually remind yourself to focus on your own priorities and not worry about how they compare to other people around you. As an example, one of the luxuries that is "worth it" to me is riding horses, which costs me a few hundred a month. I can't allow myself to be jealous of neighbors who can afford to shop at Whole Foods, or who can afford to buy big-screen TVs or new furniture, or go on vacations that don't involve driving to g'ma and g'pas. We could afford any of those things easily if we rearranged our spending, but they're just not priorities for us.