I do the same and I really like knowing what to expect when i get to the register. It also helps me when money is a little tight because I don't have to worry about thinking "oh, that's about $80 bucks worth" and then the register reads $150!
I use my pantry extensively as well. I have several mental categories for my shopping:
1) pantry stuff
2) fresh vegetables
3) milk and cheese.
Right next to this on the fridge is my shopping list. As I use ingredients up, I immediately put them on my shopping list unless I have a good backup stock in my pantry. Then, about once a week (when I start to get low on veggies, typically) I look over this list and add anything else I need (usually, vegetables or milk or eggs) and take the list with me. I take the list with me to work so that I can pick up the groceries on the way home. (this works for me because I am used to this routine, and as a result I don't tend to be tempted by stuff that is "off the list")
Every week I get vegetables, not always sticking strictly to my list. I just make sure I get enough dark green leafy vegetables, root vegetables, and other vegetables to last me the week or a little more. I go with a list of veggies, but can vary my selection according to what's cheap or good at the store.
Then I get anything else on the list.
Then if I see something that I normally stock in my pantry or freezer and it's a deal and I could use some, I will buy some of that item. I have a good sense by now of how many of an item is reasonable and won't go to waste, so I can just ballpark guess the quantities of sale items to buy. Right at the moment, even if I came across a stunning deal on something, I wouldn't buy it because the pantry is fully stocked. I have enough sardines in cans to last the year, for example. They're on sale for 11% off at my local stop and shop, but I won't buy any more. ditto for tomatoes in cans.
Once I get the groceries home, I, too, focus on not wasting anything. To accomplish not wasting any food, I use a second list that I also keep on my fridge with a pen holder next to it:
This list is all the foods in the fridgethat should be eaten next because they've been opened or would go bad soon if not eaten. Anything that I cook that goes into the fridge goes on this list as soon as it goes into the fridge, as well as any vegetables or other stuff that is getting long in the tooth. (As a backup system, anything that goes in a container on the fridge also gets a slip of masking tape on it with a description and the date it went in, as well. The tape and the marker are on the top of the fridge ready for me to use at all times. Having a label on the food gives you more confidence that it either is or is not ok to eat. For example, I sometimes make my own ketchup. The batch will last months, and it's kept in a mason jar, so it needs a label so two months later I won't wonder, "Is that ancient tomato sauce that could be bad or ketchup that I can eat??)) This way I make sure that I eat what is there before making anything new or buying anything new. I put a "c" next to the cooked items, I put an "R" next to bare ingredients in the fridge and I put an "F" next to stuff in my freezer that I need to use soon. Anything that needs to be eaten in the next two days gets an asterisk!
Then when I am deciding what to make for dinner and lunch, I check the list first and make a strong effort to use those foods before they go bad.
Then when I am deciding what to make for dinner and lunch, I check the list first and make a strong effort to use those foods before they go bad.
This has made a difference in my food bill. I used to throw out a good $20 worth of food a month that spoiled in the fridge. No more. It also keeps the fridge pretty uncluttered and clean, and because there are no "mystery items" clogging up space it's easy to get things in and out of the fridge.
Sorry about the long post, but I hope it's interesting and useful to someone. That's how I manage my food shopping and my fridge and pantry!
Something I tried today that seemed to work quite well was keeping a list of all the items I put in my basket, along with their prices and a running total of everything I was buying. (I rounded to the nearest 10 cents, which made the adding really easy). It was great knowing about how much I should be paying once I got to the register, and I was able to double-check all my prices to make sure they were all what I expect them to be. I was lucky, all the prices came out correct.
There might be more you can get back than just the money they kept. In Chicago and Evanston, Illinois, and in buildings with 5 or more units in Illinois, you can recover the money plus up to two-times the whole deposit plus court costs PLUS your attorney fees against the landlord. We've had cases where the landlord got tagged for $7800 + $2000 in attorney fees because they didn't pay $66 in interest on the security deposit. Don't just "throw up your hands" without checking to see what your local laws may entitle you to. Wisconsin, Maryland, Alaska, D.C., Connecticut, and I'm sure other states have some powerful renters rights laws that are worth enforcing. Good luck!
Another year older since my lasting posting. Now age 46. Whoops . . . always get that backwards somehow. It should be 64. Wasn’t there a Beatles song? . “When You’re Sixty-Four”?
Anyway, the guy across the street hit age 62 a couple of months ago and at once scampered on down to the government socialist security office. He described the waiting room there as being soviet-like. Said that he had to talk while standing up with the Retirement benefit lady via a speaker device through thick bulletproof glass with the chicken wire inside. That's too good! We figured that there must be some pretty nasty n' rough geezers running around these parts. Who the hell are these government hacks so afraid of, the senior citizens?
Recently came across a number of WEB sites with hordes of pathetic fools yapping and whining about not being able to qualify for socialist security Retirement. The bulk of these despondent clods admit to working at dog crap under-the-table, pay-no-taxes jobs for many years. These dopes are out there now trying to hustle up on-the-books work quarters or some con job deal from a long ago ex-wife or husband's social security accounts. They complain about falling short on their "quarters". Have any of these miscreants ever thought about going back to work and get some more of those things? Maybe a few of them can get work wiping car windshields at traffic lights with greasy rags.
Meanwhile, the duck drops and the buzzer sounds . . . YOU LOSE !!! Should probably go on to a couple of WEB sites and post a response. Think it would peez em off to know that a citizen well qualified to collect S.S. Retirement checks can't even be bothered to sign up? Ha! Ha! Take that you parasites! In fact, just learned that about 7-years of paid-in Railroad Retirement money can be rolled into social security to increase tentative bennies.
As it stands, there are Railroad high buck credit quarters that show up as blank years on the marxist security retirement statement sheets. Never bothered to inform social security about the RR retirement money sitting somewhere. Figured it all to be lost though confiscation long ago anyway. Too many strings attached to socialist security retirement and it's now taxed too. Isn't that double taxation? What a total rip-off! Americans used to have balls, were gallant, highly creative and totally self-sufficient. We're now overrun by hordes of feckless blood sucking rodents. For the most part, these rats grovel at the feet of government bureaucrat thugs to beg for crumbs from the loaf that they bought and paid for decades ago. Take socialist security retirement and shove it up their collective totalitarian arses. Will work and pay my own way til I drop dead, which is probably sooner than later. All I want from government is to be left alone.
I run a company which connects individuals to financial planners and investment advisors, and one of the most common search terms lately is for green or socially responsible investment advisors. This is definitely a growing investment area- many investors want to work with an advisor who shares their goals and supports their causes. You can help by going to http://www.claroconnect.com to look for financial advice. An investment advisor can help you analyze the many SRI mutual funds listed above and make sure they fit in with your overall financial plan.
What a great blog subject! I guess I am not the only one suffering considerable stress from a family member with this affliction. I am naturally quite disciplined with my financial affairs. Not that I am any great genius, but I do come out o'k. My problem is my sister. And when I try to make suggestions, she just laughs and says she has absolutely no intention of learning about finance. It is so boring. But guess who she complains to when she needs money. If I back off, she apologizes and says the relationship is more important than money. If we go out somewhere, I am always expected to pay, because I am the one with the money. So, I do avoid her.
Now, she has cancer and no health insurance, but bought a piece of clothing the cost of which would feed me for a couple of weeks. She did it to cheer herself up. She is planning to ask the physician to lower the cost of the surgery. She will probably get what she wants. It is hard to swallow.
I have lived with this situation for years and years. I am so tired of her saying she is "poor." And believe me, she can easily rationalize her situation and win your symphathy. In many ways, she has learned to be a con artist, but it has been a disappointing part of our relationship.
She is my only sister and in many ways a very remarkable person. I guess Susie Orman would say she refuses to grow up.
Whatever you do, don't rush into a car--used or new. Every time I've rushed into a used car I've been disappointed. Comparison shop so you have an idea of the price spread and the different options available. Take a look at edmunds.com and kbb.com to learn about the car and possible alternatives.
If you decide to buy from a dealership, read some of the articles on the above mentioned websites for some really good insight (such as negotiating the buying price instead of monthly payment). If you buy from an independent seller, be sure all your paperwork is in order and, like the article stated, take it to a mechanic first. Even if you don't have a mechanic you rely on, bring it someplace and simply ask the mechanic if he thinks the car is worth it. I could have saved thousands on stupid mistakes if I had figured this out when I was younger.
My mom is the horse. After my dad died, she just couldn't spend the money he left her fast enough! Then, as soon as she blew through all that cash in a few years while living it up with her new boyfriend in South Korea, she started to liquidate all the properties Dad left to her one by one. I and my sisters (all in our 30s by then) knew it would be impossible to try to talk her out of it. But we tried anyway. She was extremely suspicious of anyone who tried to talk about her money. Before long, that whole mess ended up splitting up the entire family. She went through with her plan, stayed long enough in the U.S. to take the money and run. I hope she won't blow through all of it as quickly as she did the rest. If she does, however, I'm sure she'll find someone else to take care of her. She is a classic Human Cuckoo, or what I call sponges or leeches in my free ebook Cuckoo in Your Nest! Actually, she did me a huge favor by letting me see for one last time her true colors. Some people really can't change their old ways b/c they just don't want to.
Gosh, my mum is one of those family members that are HORRIBLE at handling money. The biggest problem is that she won't talk to me about ANY financial matters at all even when it pertains to something important. For example, it took much convincing for her to let me use her tax information to fill in the FAFSA and get some grants. (I used guilt, telling her that it was the least she could do since she didn't save a dime for me for college and doesn't help me with any books/supplies expenses now).
At the moment, I need info from her such as the state of her credit score so that I can effectively find a good student loan and an auto loan (2 things that I desperately need). But when I try to talk to her about it, she just yells that she hates talking about money and then ignores me. I have no idea how to deal with this situation except learn personal finance for myself so that when I am finally independent I won't end up like my mum did. And I will gladly give her advice if she asks for it. But she is too stubborn :]
Just reading the title of this at pfblogs.org made made my shoulder/neck area tighten with stress! How about, what to do with a family member who is bad with money, except you didn't really know it and were young, and you are already on the hook for a sizable sum of money? Ick.
I grew up in a low-income single parent household. I was always frustrated when it came to issues regarding money. Many of my friends growing up came from well-to-do families and were able to do things I couldn't. I was embarrassed to invite people over to my home. I was embarrassed when my friends asked for something to drink and all I could offer them was a glass of tap water. I found that growing up in this environment fostered a lot of desires...but for the wrong things. Everytime I got ahead just a little bit I would spend it trying to get a piece of what was being held from me. A lot of people criticize "poor people" when they drive past the trailer parks and see the nice cars and the satellite dishes, but these criticisms lack a true understanding. Yeah, maybe poor people act lazy, maybe they spend on the wrong things, maybe they eat the wrong things. You can point to all of these factors and say geez it's all their fault, but you gottalook at the stressors and societal circumstances holding them there - the education systems in those neighborhoods, the lack of political support, etc. Maybe my little take on my own experiences can give some light into why these characteristics are out there.
When many of my personal issues came together for me in my sophomore year of high school, I found that I was continually blaming others and the circumstances around me for my place in life - including family. I would become confrontational and immaturely bring about issues that in retrospect were already cutting deeply into the loved ones around me. I realized one day that it wasn't worth blaming others or circumstances. you could point to 100 things wrong with your life and justify every 1 of them, but it does nothing to change your circumstances. I needed a proactive attitude if I was going to break the cycle. I worked hard and now in another year I'll be earning a doctorate degree and a master's degree. I love personal finance and try to share it with my loved ones. I received a lot of resistance at first, but when they saw my ability to travel and see new places, when they saw the everyday habits that gave me those opportunities, they began asking questions. Now my mom and stepdad formed a real estate company and named it using my initials. We talk over e-mail and our relationship has drastically improved with the increased transparency between the issues we face on an everyday basis. Maybe this is just a part of getting older and sharing understanding with our parents, but I say keep on throwing hints here and there, show that you're willing to talk about it. if they don't take the bait, they don't take the bait - at least you tried. Don't ever let it limit you from achieving your desires though. Live your own dream, don't let circumstances dictate your personal reality.
I too am a pickle addict. Once the jar is open, it takes every ounce of my willpower to avoid eating them all for dinner : )
I recently became hooked on pickled green beans, but I've only seen recipes for the ENTIRE canning process. Does anyone know if this will work for beans?
Obviously there is a lot of different opinions on what is "rich". Some say that those who are not "obscenely" rich are not evil, and those who are extremely wealth are absolutely evil. Let me tell you the extent of "rich" that were persecuted in China. My grandfather's family owned a small plot of farmland a couple generations before world war II. However, they were branded landlords anyway in the 1960s even though they no longer owned that land because the Communist party took back all land in 1949. So they threw my grandfather in jail and later labor reeducation camp. This is something that happened to a lot of families in China. They traced capitalism in each family's lineage for several generations and blacklisted people even though they were already poor.
So could it get that bad in America? I don't believe so, but obviously there is a lot of anger towards even professionals who earn above average incomes and I find that resentment towards people who work hard for their wealth to be unjust and evil.
Wow, lots of people here with anger issues regarding "rich" people. I guess when they read the (mis)quote about money being the root of all evil, they stopped reading and missed the part in the same book about "thou shall not envy," or "thou shall not bear false witness" (like accusing the "rich" of getting acquiring their wealth through illegal or immoral means).
I have two questions in particular for those who think inheritance is an "illegitimate" means of acquiring wealth. I work hard for my money. I have a son who will probably never be able to provide for himself. If things work out as planned, I will be leaving him a sizable estate when I die. So my questions are 1. Who are you to tell me what to do with the money I earn or who to leave it to? And 2. Who are you to judge my son for inheriting the money I choose to leave to him?
The link used to work, but I was not qualified to join. I figured maybe if I came back and tweeked some information, like race, it would work, but now the link is closed. Darn :(.
Dusty, I don't know anyone - anyone - that resents paying taxes to support those that are unable to support themselves. I would also hazard a guess that I know a great deal more wealthy people than you!
Dusty and Wilson are in the same class - losers, in the financial sense, that are envious of the productive class. They have no idea what it takes to run a business.
To those who wish taxes were higher, I have a simple plan - why don't you donate more?
The wealthy have all invariably not earned their money. In other words they have stolen it from others. Certainly others are jealous that they haven't accomplished as much evil; but they also legitimately resent injustice.
At one time the aristocracy could at least boast that they fostered the arts and culture. In capitalism you have people like Walton or Bush or Gates who obstruct or reverse human progress.
Greed is greed. Many of the richest, like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, George Soros, and Ted Turner are humanitarians.
But there are many neocons who would like to destroy our way of life, because they resent paying taxes and supporting the disabled and elderly. To them, I say, "**** off.
Of course there is nothing inherently evil about wealth. The question is: How was it gotten?
- Was it inherited or did you work your tail off?
- Did you step on people or was it a race such that the best man won?
- Did you accumulate more wealth and power than you will ever need or did you show others the way, since there is more than enough to go around?
There is this false idea that was transplanted from England that the wealthy have an obligation to help those that are not as fortunate. Nothing could be further from the truth. Many people become quite wealthy providing needed and appreciated goods and services in an ethical and honest manner.
Great Post. Points out the irony of our time: as capitalism takes root in communist China, it's under attack here in the U.S.
Andrian's response (above) highlights the way a Liberal mind thinks. It comes from basic envy. Basic tenet of modern American Liberalism is wealth redistribution.
The majority of people do not care for capitalism because it means they have to strive to become more productive. It also leads to an unflattering comparison to those more productive. We can't have that - it makes people feel bad about themselves.
As people become used to living on the the governmental teat, they become less personally responsible. Unfortunately, the ones who benefit from government largess vastly outnumber the productive ones.
The rich are an easy target for the tyranny of the majority.
Behind every great fortune there lies a great crime. It's impossible to get rich by being ethical. Jabber all you want; protest all you want; spit out anecdotes till your face turns blue. All wise people know that wealth is the product of crime.
I loooove roast beef dinners, so of course I had to mention this post on my blog!
One thing everyone seems to be glossing over... what about regular old roast beef sandwiches for lunch? A little mayo and some lettuce make it tasty, no microwave needed!
Thanks for the post, I am definitely going to try out the quesadilla idea next time. :)
I do the same and I really like knowing what to expect when i get to the register. It also helps me when money is a little tight because I don't have to worry about thinking "oh, that's about $80 bucks worth" and then the register reads $150!
Thanks for the comment :)
I use my pantry extensively as well. I have several mental categories for my shopping:
1) pantry stuff
2) fresh vegetables
3) milk and cheese.
Right next to this on the fridge is my shopping list. As I use ingredients up, I immediately put them on my shopping list unless I have a good backup stock in my pantry. Then, about once a week (when I start to get low on veggies, typically) I look over this list and add anything else I need (usually, vegetables or milk or eggs) and take the list with me. I take the list with me to work so that I can pick up the groceries on the way home. (this works for me because I am used to this routine, and as a result I don't tend to be tempted by stuff that is "off the list")
Every week I get vegetables, not always sticking strictly to my list. I just make sure I get enough dark green leafy vegetables, root vegetables, and other vegetables to last me the week or a little more. I go with a list of veggies, but can vary my selection according to what's cheap or good at the store.
Then I get anything else on the list.
Then if I see something that I normally stock in my pantry or freezer and it's a deal and I could use some, I will buy some of that item. I have a good sense by now of how many of an item is reasonable and won't go to waste, so I can just ballpark guess the quantities of sale items to buy. Right at the moment, even if I came across a stunning deal on something, I wouldn't buy it because the pantry is fully stocked. I have enough sardines in cans to last the year, for example. They're on sale for 11% off at my local stop and shop, but I won't buy any more. ditto for tomatoes in cans.
Once I get the groceries home, I, too, focus on not wasting anything. To accomplish not wasting any food, I use a second list that I also keep on my fridge with a pen holder next to it:
This list is all the foods in the fridgethat should be eaten next because they've been opened or would go bad soon if not eaten. Anything that I cook that goes into the fridge goes on this list as soon as it goes into the fridge, as well as any vegetables or other stuff that is getting long in the tooth. (As a backup system, anything that goes in a container on the fridge also gets a slip of masking tape on it with a description and the date it went in, as well. The tape and the marker are on the top of the fridge ready for me to use at all times. Having a label on the food gives you more confidence that it either is or is not ok to eat. For example, I sometimes make my own ketchup. The batch will last months, and it's kept in a mason jar, so it needs a label so two months later I won't wonder, "Is that ancient tomato sauce that could be bad or ketchup that I can eat??)) This way I make sure that I eat what is there before making anything new or buying anything new. I put a "c" next to the cooked items, I put an "R" next to bare ingredients in the fridge and I put an "F" next to stuff in my freezer that I need to use soon. Anything that needs to be eaten in the next two days gets an asterisk!
Then when I am deciding what to make for dinner and lunch, I check the list first and make a strong effort to use those foods before they go bad.
Then when I am deciding what to make for dinner and lunch, I check the list first and make a strong effort to use those foods before they go bad.
This has made a difference in my food bill. I used to throw out a good $20 worth of food a month that spoiled in the fridge. No more. It also keeps the fridge pretty uncluttered and clean, and because there are no "mystery items" clogging up space it's easy to get things in and out of the fridge.
Sorry about the long post, but I hope it's interesting and useful to someone. That's how I manage my food shopping and my fridge and pantry!
Something I tried today that seemed to work quite well was keeping a list of all the items I put in my basket, along with their prices and a running total of everything I was buying. (I rounded to the nearest 10 cents, which made the adding really easy). It was great knowing about how much I should be paying once I got to the register, and I was able to double-check all my prices to make sure they were all what I expect them to be. I was lucky, all the prices came out correct.
There might be more you can get back than just the money they kept. In Chicago and Evanston, Illinois, and in buildings with 5 or more units in Illinois, you can recover the money plus up to two-times the whole deposit plus court costs PLUS your attorney fees against the landlord. We've had cases where the landlord got tagged for $7800 + $2000 in attorney fees because they didn't pay $66 in interest on the security deposit. Don't just "throw up your hands" without checking to see what your local laws may entitle you to. Wisconsin, Maryland, Alaska, D.C., Connecticut, and I'm sure other states have some powerful renters rights laws that are worth enforcing. Good luck!
Another year older since my lasting posting. Now age 46. Whoops . . . always get that backwards somehow. It should be 64. Wasn’t there a Beatles song? . “When You’re Sixty-Four”?
Anyway, the guy across the street hit age 62 a couple of months ago and at once scampered on down to the government socialist security office. He described the waiting room there as being soviet-like. Said that he had to talk while standing up with the Retirement benefit lady via a speaker device through thick bulletproof glass with the chicken wire inside. That's too good! We figured that there must be some pretty nasty n' rough geezers running around these parts. Who the hell are these government hacks so afraid of, the senior citizens?
Recently came across a number of WEB sites with hordes of pathetic fools yapping and whining about not being able to qualify for socialist security Retirement. The bulk of these despondent clods admit to working at dog crap under-the-table, pay-no-taxes jobs for many years. These dopes are out there now trying to hustle up on-the-books work quarters or some con job deal from a long ago ex-wife or husband's social security accounts. They complain about falling short on their "quarters". Have any of these miscreants ever thought about going back to work and get some more of those things? Maybe a few of them can get work wiping car windshields at traffic lights with greasy rags.
Meanwhile, the duck drops and the buzzer sounds . . . YOU LOSE !!! Should probably go on to a couple of WEB sites and post a response. Think it would peez em off to know that a citizen well qualified to collect S.S. Retirement checks can't even be bothered to sign up? Ha! Ha! Take that you parasites! In fact, just learned that about 7-years of paid-in Railroad Retirement money can be rolled into social security to increase tentative bennies.
As it stands, there are Railroad high buck credit quarters that show up as blank years on the marxist security retirement statement sheets. Never bothered to inform social security about the RR retirement money sitting somewhere. Figured it all to be lost though confiscation long ago anyway. Too many strings attached to socialist security retirement and it's now taxed too. Isn't that double taxation? What a total rip-off! Americans used to have balls, were gallant, highly creative and totally self-sufficient. We're now overrun by hordes of feckless blood sucking rodents. For the most part, these rats grovel at the feet of government bureaucrat thugs to beg for crumbs from the loaf that they bought and paid for decades ago. Take socialist security retirement and shove it up their collective totalitarian arses. Will work and pay my own way til I drop dead, which is probably sooner than later. All I want from government is to be left alone.
I run a company which connects individuals to financial planners and investment advisors, and one of the most common search terms lately is for green or socially responsible investment advisors. This is definitely a growing investment area- many investors want to work with an advisor who shares their goals and supports their causes. You can help by going to http://www.claroconnect.com to look for financial advice. An investment advisor can help you analyze the many SRI mutual funds listed above and make sure they fit in with your overall financial plan.
What a great blog subject! I guess I am not the only one suffering considerable stress from a family member with this affliction. I am naturally quite disciplined with my financial affairs. Not that I am any great genius, but I do come out o'k. My problem is my sister. And when I try to make suggestions, she just laughs and says she has absolutely no intention of learning about finance. It is so boring. But guess who she complains to when she needs money. If I back off, she apologizes and says the relationship is more important than money. If we go out somewhere, I am always expected to pay, because I am the one with the money. So, I do avoid her.
Now, she has cancer and no health insurance, but bought a piece of clothing the cost of which would feed me for a couple of weeks. She did it to cheer herself up. She is planning to ask the physician to lower the cost of the surgery. She will probably get what she wants. It is hard to swallow.
I have lived with this situation for years and years. I am so tired of her saying she is "poor." And believe me, she can easily rationalize her situation and win your symphathy. In many ways, she has learned to be a con artist, but it has been a disappointing part of our relationship.
She is my only sister and in many ways a very remarkable person. I guess Susie Orman would say she refuses to grow up.
nightmare to make devils whimper for mercy. . . .
Whatever you do, don't rush into a car--used or new. Every time I've rushed into a used car I've been disappointed. Comparison shop so you have an idea of the price spread and the different options available. Take a look at edmunds.com and kbb.com to learn about the car and possible alternatives.
If you decide to buy from a dealership, read some of the articles on the above mentioned websites for some really good insight (such as negotiating the buying price instead of monthly payment). If you buy from an independent seller, be sure all your paperwork is in order and, like the article stated, take it to a mechanic first. Even if you don't have a mechanic you rely on, bring it someplace and simply ask the mechanic if he thinks the car is worth it. I could have saved thousands on stupid mistakes if I had figured this out when I was younger.
My mom is the horse. After my dad died, she just couldn't spend the money he left her fast enough! Then, as soon as she blew through all that cash in a few years while living it up with her new boyfriend in South Korea, she started to liquidate all the properties Dad left to her one by one. I and my sisters (all in our 30s by then) knew it would be impossible to try to talk her out of it. But we tried anyway. She was extremely suspicious of anyone who tried to talk about her money. Before long, that whole mess ended up splitting up the entire family. She went through with her plan, stayed long enough in the U.S. to take the money and run. I hope she won't blow through all of it as quickly as she did the rest. If she does, however, I'm sure she'll find someone else to take care of her. She is a classic Human Cuckoo, or what I call sponges or leeches in my free ebook Cuckoo in Your Nest! Actually, she did me a huge favor by letting me see for one last time her true colors. Some people really can't change their old ways b/c they just don't want to.
Gosh, my mum is one of those family members that are HORRIBLE at handling money. The biggest problem is that she won't talk to me about ANY financial matters at all even when it pertains to something important. For example, it took much convincing for her to let me use her tax information to fill in the FAFSA and get some grants. (I used guilt, telling her that it was the least she could do since she didn't save a dime for me for college and doesn't help me with any books/supplies expenses now).
At the moment, I need info from her such as the state of her credit score so that I can effectively find a good student loan and an auto loan (2 things that I desperately need). But when I try to talk to her about it, she just yells that she hates talking about money and then ignores me. I have no idea how to deal with this situation except learn personal finance for myself so that when I am finally independent I won't end up like my mum did. And I will gladly give her advice if she asks for it. But she is too stubborn :]
Just reading the title of this at pfblogs.org made made my shoulder/neck area tighten with stress! How about, what to do with a family member who is bad with money, except you didn't really know it and were young, and you are already on the hook for a sizable sum of money? Ick.
I grew up in a low-income single parent household. I was always frustrated when it came to issues regarding money. Many of my friends growing up came from well-to-do families and were able to do things I couldn't. I was embarrassed to invite people over to my home. I was embarrassed when my friends asked for something to drink and all I could offer them was a glass of tap water. I found that growing up in this environment fostered a lot of desires...but for the wrong things. Everytime I got ahead just a little bit I would spend it trying to get a piece of what was being held from me. A lot of people criticize "poor people" when they drive past the trailer parks and see the nice cars and the satellite dishes, but these criticisms lack a true understanding. Yeah, maybe poor people act lazy, maybe they spend on the wrong things, maybe they eat the wrong things. You can point to all of these factors and say geez it's all their fault, but you gottalook at the stressors and societal circumstances holding them there - the education systems in those neighborhoods, the lack of political support, etc. Maybe my little take on my own experiences can give some light into why these characteristics are out there.
When many of my personal issues came together for me in my sophomore year of high school, I found that I was continually blaming others and the circumstances around me for my place in life - including family. I would become confrontational and immaturely bring about issues that in retrospect were already cutting deeply into the loved ones around me. I realized one day that it wasn't worth blaming others or circumstances. you could point to 100 things wrong with your life and justify every 1 of them, but it does nothing to change your circumstances. I needed a proactive attitude if I was going to break the cycle. I worked hard and now in another year I'll be earning a doctorate degree and a master's degree. I love personal finance and try to share it with my loved ones. I received a lot of resistance at first, but when they saw my ability to travel and see new places, when they saw the everyday habits that gave me those opportunities, they began asking questions. Now my mom and stepdad formed a real estate company and named it using my initials. We talk over e-mail and our relationship has drastically improved with the increased transparency between the issues we face on an everyday basis. Maybe this is just a part of getting older and sharing understanding with our parents, but I say keep on throwing hints here and there, show that you're willing to talk about it. if they don't take the bait, they don't take the bait - at least you tried. Don't ever let it limit you from achieving your desires though. Live your own dream, don't let circumstances dictate your personal reality.
I too am a pickle addict. Once the jar is open, it takes every ounce of my willpower to avoid eating them all for dinner : )
I recently became hooked on pickled green beans, but I've only seen recipes for the ENTIRE canning process. Does anyone know if this will work for beans?
Thanks!
Obviously there is a lot of different opinions on what is "rich". Some say that those who are not "obscenely" rich are not evil, and those who are extremely wealth are absolutely evil. Let me tell you the extent of "rich" that were persecuted in China. My grandfather's family owned a small plot of farmland a couple generations before world war II. However, they were branded landlords anyway in the 1960s even though they no longer owned that land because the Communist party took back all land in 1949. So they threw my grandfather in jail and later labor reeducation camp. This is something that happened to a lot of families in China. They traced capitalism in each family's lineage for several generations and blacklisted people even though they were already poor.
So could it get that bad in America? I don't believe so, but obviously there is a lot of anger towards even professionals who earn above average incomes and I find that resentment towards people who work hard for their wealth to be unjust and evil.
Wow, lots of people here with anger issues regarding "rich" people. I guess when they read the (mis)quote about money being the root of all evil, they stopped reading and missed the part in the same book about "thou shall not envy," or "thou shall not bear false witness" (like accusing the "rich" of getting acquiring their wealth through illegal or immoral means).
I have two questions in particular for those who think inheritance is an "illegitimate" means of acquiring wealth. I work hard for my money. I have a son who will probably never be able to provide for himself. If things work out as planned, I will be leaving him a sizable estate when I die. So my questions are 1. Who are you to tell me what to do with the money I earn or who to leave it to? And 2. Who are you to judge my son for inheriting the money I choose to leave to him?
cheers,
Ken
The link used to work, but I was not qualified to join. I figured maybe if I came back and tweeked some information, like race, it would work, but now the link is closed. Darn :(.
Great Post Phil. Its inspired me to write something similar this week. Enjoy reading many of your posts!
Dusty, I don't know anyone - anyone - that resents paying taxes to support those that are unable to support themselves. I would also hazard a guess that I know a great deal more wealthy people than you!
Dusty and Wilson are in the same class - losers, in the financial sense, that are envious of the productive class. They have no idea what it takes to run a business.
To those who wish taxes were higher, I have a simple plan - why don't you donate more?
The wealthy have all invariably not earned their money. In other words they have stolen it from others. Certainly others are jealous that they haven't accomplished as much evil; but they also legitimately resent injustice.
At one time the aristocracy could at least boast that they fostered the arts and culture. In capitalism you have people like Walton or Bush or Gates who obstruct or reverse human progress.
Greed is greed. Many of the richest, like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, George Soros, and Ted Turner are humanitarians.
But there are many neocons who would like to destroy our way of life, because they resent paying taxes and supporting the disabled and elderly. To them, I say, "**** off.
-dusty
Of course there is nothing inherently evil about wealth. The question is: How was it gotten?
- Was it inherited or did you work your tail off?
- Did you step on people or was it a race such that the best man won?
- Did you accumulate more wealth and power than you will ever need or did you show others the way, since there is more than enough to go around?
There is this false idea that was transplanted from England that the wealthy have an obligation to help those that are not as fortunate. Nothing could be further from the truth. Many people become quite wealthy providing needed and appreciated goods and services in an ethical and honest manner.
Great Post. Points out the irony of our time: as capitalism takes root in communist China, it's under attack here in the U.S.
Andrian's response (above) highlights the way a Liberal mind thinks. It comes from basic envy. Basic tenet of modern American Liberalism is wealth redistribution.
The majority of people do not care for capitalism because it means they have to strive to become more productive. It also leads to an unflattering comparison to those more productive. We can't have that - it makes people feel bad about themselves.
As people become used to living on the the governmental teat, they become less personally responsible. Unfortunately, the ones who benefit from government largess vastly outnumber the productive ones.
The rich are an easy target for the tyranny of the majority.
Behind every great fortune there lies a great crime. It's impossible to get rich by being ethical. Jabber all you want; protest all you want; spit out anecdotes till your face turns blue. All wise people know that wealth is the product of crime.
I loooove roast beef dinners, so of course I had to mention this post on my blog!
One thing everyone seems to be glossing over... what about regular old roast beef sandwiches for lunch? A little mayo and some lettuce make it tasty, no microwave needed!
Thanks for the post, I am definitely going to try out the quesadilla idea next time. :)