The reality is that wages are now calculated based on 2 incomes. You need two incomes to raise children. That's why Jen's husband is overworked; she needs to get a job.
As for being grateful for what you have... this is a ridiculous sentiment when your standard of living is in decline. Next you'll be telling us to look forward to the next life.
I think the cruise control thing might be why I don't notice a difference - my car doesn't have it. It's also an automatic transmission so any gear shifting issues is its own fault.
Oh well, I prefer driving slow and at least the illusion of saving on gas helps.
@xin - I hope you were joking. These days, you have to be poor to get all those freebies, and they don't last long. After 6 months, they make you do menial labor for less than minimum wage.
Actually you don't have to be that poor in my county to get subsidized housing. Median income for a family of 4 is $90k here so any family making under that can qualify for Section 8 and a variety of other government programs like subsidized insurance. These benefits are completely different from unemployment. Yes there is a long wait list for seciton 8, but the people on the program receive subsidies worth more than my rent. If I quit my job I could cut out 20k in taxes, and if I can get section 8, heck that's worth another 20k. So no I am not joking. I get mad at taxes and government welfare sometimes, too.
Minneapolis/St. Paul has become a sprawling metropolis. If you're in the far-flung 'burbs, mass transit is not so great, but we do have lots of dedicated bike paths even there. In the city we've got bike lanes and a dedicated bike "greenway" for unimpeded east-west transit. It's not at all unusual to meet bikers who bike to work year round.
In the city we've now got reasonable bus coverage (with bike racks on them) and consistent light rail (bike racks on the light rail train, too) from the mall and airport at the south end into the center of the city - with the promise of another coming soon between the two cities. We also have an Amtrak station.
Jen,
Not to be nosy, but I have a kind-hearted question.
Do things make your children happy or would having their dad around make them happier?
I hope your husband isn't wasting his life on giving and providing money when time and love is what they and you (especially) really need.
Godliness with contentment is great gain.
He is going to die without any clothes on (my internet filter won't let me say - - .)like everyone else. It would be sad to see him leave nothing but money behind.
Jason
I understand Jen's frustration. We have seen a rapid rise in the ratio of the wealth of the richest in the USA to the rest of us. We have seen the middle class shrink and our standard of living stall.There are times when we all feel that "getting ahead" is a trick used to keep us running faster and to keep our eyes off the treadmill we often find ourselves on.
However when you find that you have dug yourself into a hole the first thing to do is stop digging. If the way you are attempting to better your situation is not working you need to reconsider your efforts. Is it worth doing to work over time to pay more in taxes to buy something you might have been able to do yourself? Perhaps she or her husband could learn some basic plumbing and install that garbage disposal and in doing so actually save money and spend time at home. Or better yet compost those scraps in the back yard and grow a garden.
In my opinion the thing that has always been great about Americans is not there resources but their resourcefulness.
Thanks Ginny! I love homemade pudding but I never have enough time to sit and watch it over the stove. Also, no matter how low I keep my stove's heat my puddings always seem to socrch a bit. (I have really cheap cookware). I will have to try your microwave suggestion!
Ditto what the folks said above. Shred it. At least the application section and personal info. Folks digging through your trash will look for these items when they want to steal your identity.
I read an article somewhere that said the credit card companies really don't care if you send them back junk in the application envelope. It goes straight into the circular file. The benefits I see in replying are 1. you feel better and 2. it gives the post office worker something to do. Otherwise, I'm sure you can find a better use for your time and energy.
Try the optout option. It's similar to the do not call list and the no junk mail list. I just signed up a few weeks ago so I can't say how well it works just yet.
Don't get me wrong, everyone...it is because I'm so grateful for what I have, that makes me so mad.
Believe it or not, when something bad happens to us, I can always say "it could be worse".
I am grateful for having such a hard working Husband, who loves his family so much. I am grateful for how great a father he is when he IS home.
I am grateful for the wonderful, healthy, loving children we have.
I am grateful for us being able to own our own home. 6 years ago, that wasn't even dream-able for us. But we both worked hard and did what we needed to do to clear up our credit, (our scores are almost as high as possible now.) and get our "stuff" together and make a home for our kids. We often look back at how we thought we were so rich when he was making $500 a week, and laugh. And we try and help our family and friends who are struggling.
And believe it or not, even though everyone thinks I'm a princess, we were going to move last year, but I didn't want to. We had the mortgage "ok" to pick up to a $400,000 home. We couldn't WAIT to get out of this house.
We looked at homes with inground pools, central vacuuming systems, stainless steel appliances, huge yards with creeks and ponds....you name it. (though we also lived in reality, and knew we didn't want to spend more than $320,000, if even that.)
My Husband started getting REALLY stressed out. Even though he was the one who said "let's move". (I was up for it, too.)
He didn't want to do ANYTHING other than work and save $$.
That's fine, temporarily, but I started to realize that we weren't doing the "living" we could have been doing, and who knows if all of us would still be here when we did finally find that nice house.
So after a while, my mind found ways to NOT want us to move.
I realized that here, my kids can walk out the front door, and play with which ever kid they want to. Here, we had fun neighbors who were 20 steps away, when I needed to borrow milk, or just wanted to socialize. Here, my Husband could work 5 days a week, and we could get by fine. Here, we could still take that week vacation at the shore every year.
Here, we can LIVE.
So...I talked my Husband OUT of moving. I talked him out of the cool pool parties with loud music that no neighbors would complain about, the quiet secclusion we'd have, the trees and creeks the kids could discover nature at, the fancy kitchen and bathrooms, the numerous huge closets, the envy our friends and family would have of us and our awesome home....the stress of having to make that next huge mortgage payment, the NO vacations so we COULD make the mortgage payment, him having to DEFINATELY work 7 days a week, no matter what, and the possibility of living in the streets if his body gave out. It didn't seem right, that he'd have this great house and property, and never get to be there or enjoy it, cause he'd be working.
This was before the gas and food prices rose so high.
We sure are glad we decided to stay. But it was ME who stopped us first.
I realized that we DO have a roof over our heads, and the kids DO like living here, even though we don't. We DO have enough money for food. We are NOT having hard times as the food and gas goes up. (yet.)
But MOST of all, my Husband is a little more at ease and not so stressed out. (though he still works 7 days a week...I'm trying to break him of that. He still wants out of here later!)
The bottom line is, that I realized how lucky I am, and how nothing needed to change for us to be luckier or happier.
I just still get really mad at how hard people like us have to work, and how it seems that the HARDER you work, the SLOWER you move up the ladder. The more the government takes for Governors to have fancy cars, and fancy luncheons. The more to feed and house everyone else. (and MOST of the people I've known to receive government aid, did NOT deserve or need it. Hence, why I think America lost its way long ago.) And the more they take to have stupid wars that don't benefit us at all. Hey, at least we paid to finish the president's Father's fight! Great.
I care about my Husband's every cent, which is why I come to this site. When I buy something we don't neccessarily need, I picture my Husband slaving away at work, and I decide if his sweat (and sometimes blood) and time away from us, is too valuable for that item or not.
I am VERY lucky. And of course, it has nothing to do with our bank account.
I think the odds are greater that it's just an error. (If you look at the comments above yours, several people posted saying that they made a mistake in entering a dependant's social security number. If there are enough such errors that more than one such persn ended up commenting here, it seems entirely possible that someone out there transposed a digit when entering a dependent's social security number, and happened to enter yours.
Contact the IRS and point out the error. I expect you'll get your money. (Probably not as a stimulus check this year. More likely it'll be added to your refund or deducted from the taxes that you owe for 2008, when you file next year.)
I don't have any inside info on fixing errors in stimulus payments. I'm just basing this on the way the IRS handles these sorts of errors in regular taxes: They're quite determined to get all the money that's owed to them, but also fairly determined to give back any money that isn't.
i don't compare myself to third world countries when i compare the way i live. i compare myself to other americans. when i see someone making thousands of dollars more than my own husband, for playing ping pong and lounging on couches at Google.com, while my husband works his ass off, it makes me mad, and it doesn't seem right. and my husband's job is something americans need.
Let me go on record saying that I feel for you, and I really do think that American economic stratification is absolutely ridiculous. But (there's always a but) at the same time, it's not like this is some new development in America either. Cutting edge technology, weapons development, sports and entertainment have always been the moneymakers in America. We reward innovation and genius, same as we always have.
Yet, others do so much less than him, and live in their McMansions, with their boats, and Gap clothes and drive their Lexus'....
Actually, lots of CEOs at major companies like the ones discussed in this article (the ones who bring in the big bucks) work just as many, if not more, hours than your husband does. They're just white collars, so that means they do it in fancy boardrooms and fancy cars and fancy hotels. Doesn't change the fact that it's irritating, tedious work. Also, other people like lawyers and doctors work their *asses* off in school to make the kind of money they make. It's not like it falls out of the sky.
And if you're talking about the rich heirs of inheritance, I don't know what to tell you, other than the fact that I was supposed to be a Rockefeller, but the stork got the wrong address....
Because we have to pay for Iraq to fix and rebuild their country.
Are they even thankful?
No. They blow us up left and right.
And WE are the ones paying most of it. The middle class. The people who REALLY work hard to get their 2 whole panels of white picket fence.
Er, yeah, but when you were talking about "helping people abroad" I didn't think you were referring to Bush's war...I don't think blowing the snot out of someone and destroying what little infrastructure and governmental system they have is a legitimate way to help them...
And I think the money we've spent over there is an outrageous misappropriation of funds...
But to be honest, you're being a bit like the ungrateful Iraqis you despise so much. You sit around on your computer with your car and your freedom and instead of being thankful that you were born in America instead of somewhere else, where you can have a house, a savings account, a car and a cell phone and still be able to complain about "scraping by"...you badmouth the government.
I disagree with the government, but there are personal choices involved too. My mother worked in the school cafeteria to help my father make ends meet when I was younger. She bagged groceries at night. (And she had a four year accounting degree!!) But it was an era of recession, so she did what she had to do. I was a latchkey kid for many years, but I understand my parents' sacrifice when I stand in their big $300,000 dollar house today.
That's why they're called bootstraps - you have to pull yourself up by them. Nobody is going to do it for you.
But when I see my friend's sister's home, who is on WELFARE for NO reason at all, except that HER mom was on welfare all her life, and there she is, in her nice apartment, with her central air, dishwasher and garbage disposal, with her kids in their Gap clothes, and her with her pretty nails, goverment cheese milk, eggs, peanut butter and orange juice, and let's not forget her FREE health care and her PERFECT teeth, and she never worked a day in her life....
Agree with you here again. The welfare system needs a significant reform.
I would LOVE a garbage disposal! I would LOVE a dishwasher! And I sure would LOVE central air, right now.
But do I have them?
NO.
What's stopping you? Those things aren't expensive, especially if you get them used. I know people who make less than your husband who have the same amount of kids as you do and have a garbage disposal and a dishwasher (and are NOT on welfare..)...You can get these things if you're willing to sacrifice or work for them. Obviously your priorities are elsewhere. You have a cell phone and a computer, but not a garbage disposal. Whose fault is that? Sell the computer and that's probably enough for a dishwasher right there.
I never complain to him. It's not his fault. So he didn't become a doctor. I never expected that from him.
You didn't expect him to become a doctor. Just bring home a doctor's wages, apparently. You want the rewards, just not the work.
I agree with your stance on the government, but I still think you're being a little unreasonable.
Aside from fortified dairy, you've got two choices: supplements or sunshine.
Personally, I go with sunshine from April through September, and go with supplements during the months of the year when the sunshine isn't intense enough for proper vitamin D production.
(Skin cancer, of course, is a concern--but the research I've done suggests that the amount of sun exposure needed to produce adequate vitamin D (really quite little, for pale-skinned people) is safe.)
I take the offers apart. Return envelopes are used to put shopping lists on and coupons in, or turned inside out, reglued and reused, or if there's no writing on it reused as is. Any paper with a blank side is used to print out articles from the computer or as drawing paper for the kids. Blank sections are cut into smaller pieces for notes by the telephone. The rest is shredded and put into the compost pile, where it eventually becomes lovely stuff for the garden. If we get anything that resembles packing materials it's put in a box in the cellar and used when we send Christmas gifts for family (we're quite spread out).
@jen - I feel for you, but I don't understand why you can't afford a garbage disposal. They aren't that expensive, and the pipe to hook it up is not too expensive. :)
I agree with you. There certainly are some terrible gaps between entitlements for the poor, and entitlements for working people. Back in the past, the real "minimum wage" was a lot higher, and working paid off better. That's when these relatively high humanitarian standards of housing, medical care, and other entitlements for the poor were established.
The problem is, in the past 30 years or so, the wage bottom has dropped, and there's a gap between welfare benefits for non-workers and the expenses you have to incur as a worker purchasing services in the private market.
So, we probably have to adjust a few things - entitlements to the poor should probably be decreased, and some subsidies like section 8 might stand a cut, but we also need to mandate a higher minimum wage, perhaps nationalize health care, and perhaps increase some public spending for entitlements that working people can use. In this way, our taxes are used to benefit more working people, more directly. Expanding entitlements can also lower the up-front and ongoing costs for a poor person's entry into the workforce.
Certain kinds of "welfare", like a lower bus fare, universal health care, reduced public college fees, or after-school programs, translate into more cash-in-hand for most people, and have a levelling effect on incomes (because more affluent people pay more taxes, but everyone benefits from these savings).
We have seen the terrible effects of years of ideological opposition to "government programs". On the one hand, we've got an economy in decline, and our "bootstraps" are frayed and weak. Opportunity to benefit handsomely from your work isn't so common as it used to be (though the opportunity to overwork, and compete with engineers doing 12-14 hour workdays seems to have increased!).
On the other hand, we had a military surplus that allowed us to invade an oil-rich nation in the hopes of toppling its government (and that was an accomplished mission) and replace it with a compliant government eager to work with western oil companies (has not happend quite yet).
Perhaps if the welfare spending we a touch greater, and the military spending were a bit lower, we'd be complaining about lazy liberals and the 32 hour work-week, and not so angry at Bush and Arabs, and upset about our 60 hour work weeks.
@xin - I hope you were joking. These days, you have to be poor to get all those freebies, and they don't last long. After 6 months, they make you do menial labor for less than minimum wage.
While I basically agree with you that people should use public transportation, and that doing so is an economic benefit to the individual as well as society, I have reservations about the increasing trend of middle class and affluent people moving into cities. There are a lot of people being displaced to the exurbs, where life is less sustainable than ever. In L.A., there are people from the working-class neighborhoods near downtown moving out to areas like Rialto and Lancaster due to recent rent increases, rebuilding of public housing (and increased police harrassment of section 8 and public housing). While they may get more apartment for their money, they're also 60 miles from their old home.
So, you have a reverse "white flight" (though, this time, it's not necessarily white) where people move into denser residential cities. Though these renovated cities are more dense than suburbs, the tendency is to put fewer people into each household. You'll have more DINKs and singles, and with their higher incomes, they can buy or rent more space than they use.
Back when I was young, people put two kids into a bedroom, and there was no "home office". Nowadays, an affluent single might rent (or buy) a two bedroom apartment and use one bedroom as an office. Though it's not the typical change, you can see that is a 4-to-1 decrease in population density.
This also happens when apartments are torn down and replaced with a mix of condos and apartments. When SROs go "loft", they combine apartments into a larger apartment. If this happens enough, the density in the city might decrease, easing traffic problems... making it cheaper to drive.
At the same time, density in the suburbs increases dramatically. Out in L.A.'s suburbs, poor, undocumented immigrants live together in houses, with 2-3 people per room. Not bedroom, but room. You might have 10 people in a house meant for 5. As poverty among the suburbanites increases, expect more doubling and tripling up in bedrooms.
This will increase density, parking problems, and traffic. It could urbanize the suburbs - except that people who lack political power will have a hard time marshalling or fighting for state and federal money to improve public transit.
Because these new suburbanites are far from the city center and the city council, they will become invisible people.
Hi Jen, from your description it seems that you're really angry at all the taxes your family has to pay. Well, I agree that it's pretty annoying. My husband and I paid almost 40k last year in federal and state taxes and we can't even afford to buy a tiny row home here in the Bay Area. If you hubby works a bit less he has to pay less taxes so it might be good to let him take a bit time off if your budget allows it. When you do get a new job you should check if it's really worth it, too. The marriage penalty on taxes might come back in full force if the Bush Tax cuts were repealed. Anyway, I have actually thought of quitting my job to get low income status and claim various benefits like subsidized housing and escape the endless taxes. So I sort of understand where you are coming from on that point.
Man, you guys aren't getting my point.
My Husband works his *ss off, 7 days a week, and we are what people would call "lower middle class".
Yet, others do so much less than him, and live in their McMansions, with their boats, and Gap clothes and drive their Lexus'....
So it sucks that we can never get ahead. Sure, we're much better off than we were 10 years ago. But this society doesn't seem to allow much "getting ahead" room.
He makes $1400 a week. And brings home hundreds and hundreds less than that.
Why?
Because we have to pay for Iraq to fix and rebuild their country.
Are they even thankful?
No. They blow us up left and right.
And WE are the ones paying most of it. The middle class. The people who REALLY work hard to get their 2 whole panels of white picket fence.
So my Husband is left to work, work, work, and work.
So that other countries can have a better life?
What have they done for US?????????????
That's what I thought.......NOTHING.
And if their new democracy works out (if they can ever get their sh*t together and LET IT WORK OUT) and they get nice and rich and prosperous....do you think they'll EVER do anything for us?
NO.
But lets send my Husband's hard earned cash over there, shall we?
Yeah. Cause WE don't want it.
And that other person was right. I do NOT compare myself to other countries when I count my blessings.
I compare myself to America.
I live in a tiny row house, in the middle of town, where in front of every house is a work truck with a ladder rack and tools, and a nicer car for the wives and kids to use.
Yes, we ARE lucky compared to a lot of people.
But when I see my friend's sister's home, who is on WELFARE for NO reason at all, except that HER mom was on welfare all her life, and there she is, in her nice apartment, with her central air, dishwasher and garbage disposal, with her kids in their Gap clothes, and her with her pretty nails, goverment cheese milk, eggs, peanut butter and orange juice, and let's not forget her FREE health care and her PERFECT teeth, and she never worked a day in her life....
I say we went WRONG somewhere.
I would LOVE a garbage disposal! I would LOVE a dishwasher! And I sure would LOVE central air, right now.
But do I have them?
NO.
Why? Because MY Husband works his *ss off 7 days a week, and almost half of it supports that lazy loser chick AND all her neighbors!
So yeah, I'm "tiffed" when Sunday rolls around, and my Kids ask me when Dad is getting home from work, and I say "probably at 5".
It's not right.
He's practically killing himself for everyone ELSE in the world.
I never complain to him. It's not his fault. So he didn't become a doctor. I never expected that from him.
I would just think that for the hours he works, we might have a garbage disposal or something!
And yes, I intend to get a job when the kids are in school full time next year. I wish I could get one now. But with his hours being all over the place from one day to the next, I could never make it to a job on time. We've already tried that.
Maybe he should just quit, then we can live in a NICE house, built and maintained by the government, fridge stocked by the government, and clothes, nails, and medical care BY THE GOVERNMENT.
Then we could live our happy lives.
Did someone else claim me? I went to check on the status of my stimulus check, and it said I was not qualified for the check because another tax payer claimed me. Niether of my parents claimed me. So who did? Is this a scam? What should I do?
I posted a comment a while ago, I guess it got lost in the approval pile.
I was ranting about this a few months ago. It's infuriating. I got two of them, sent to the same address to the same name. It seems like now that our society is starting to pay attention to issues like sustainability, these companies would be held accountable for this kind of waste. I put the junk in the return envelope and sent it back to them.
Unless you're drinking 2 glasses a milk or another fortified beverage you are not receiving the proper amount of Vitamin D in your diet. It is very difficult to eat enough Vitamin D "rich" foods in your diet alone. Also once in their 50's people need higher amounts of Vitamin D.
I have so much fruit on hand at the moment and I was searching for a magazine recipe I'd seen for fruit ices. But they involved cooking. I was glad to see such a simple suggestion. I have some animal shaped molds from a rummage sale but i could find only the sticks. so i poured the pureed watermelon and blueberries into baby food cubes and right now my daughter is eating one as slush. she says it's good.
The reality is that wages are now calculated based on 2 incomes. You need two incomes to raise children. That's why Jen's husband is overworked; she needs to get a job.
As for being grateful for what you have... this is a ridiculous sentiment when your standard of living is in decline. Next you'll be telling us to look forward to the next life.
I think the cruise control thing might be why I don't notice a difference - my car doesn't have it. It's also an automatic transmission so any gear shifting issues is its own fault.
Oh well, I prefer driving slow and at least the illusion of saving on gas helps.
cool pool parties...even thinking about that, that's where I lost respect for you.
Get a parttime job at Starbucks to help your poor overworked husband a little. Sell stuff on ebay.
@xin - I hope you were joking. These days, you have to be poor to get all those freebies, and they don't last long. After 6 months, they make you do menial labor for less than minimum wage.
Actually you don't have to be that poor in my county to get subsidized housing. Median income for a family of 4 is $90k here so any family making under that can qualify for Section 8 and a variety of other government programs like subsidized insurance. These benefits are completely different from unemployment. Yes there is a long wait list for seciton 8, but the people on the program receive subsidies worth more than my rent. If I quit my job I could cut out 20k in taxes, and if I can get section 8, heck that's worth another 20k. So no I am not joking. I get mad at taxes and government welfare sometimes, too.
Minneapolis/St. Paul has become a sprawling metropolis. If you're in the far-flung 'burbs, mass transit is not so great, but we do have lots of dedicated bike paths even there. In the city we've got bike lanes and a dedicated bike "greenway" for unimpeded east-west transit. It's not at all unusual to meet bikers who bike to work year round.
In the city we've now got reasonable bus coverage (with bike racks on them) and consistent light rail (bike racks on the light rail train, too) from the mall and airport at the south end into the center of the city - with the promise of another coming soon between the two cities. We also have an Amtrak station.
Jen,
Not to be nosy, but I have a kind-hearted question.
Do things make your children happy or would having their dad around make them happier?
I hope your husband isn't wasting his life on giving and providing money when time and love is what they and you (especially) really need.
Godliness with contentment is great gain.
He is going to die without any clothes on (my internet filter won't let me say - - .)like everyone else. It would be sad to see him leave nothing but money behind.
Jason
I understand Jen's frustration. We have seen a rapid rise in the ratio of the wealth of the richest in the USA to the rest of us. We have seen the middle class shrink and our standard of living stall.There are times when we all feel that "getting ahead" is a trick used to keep us running faster and to keep our eyes off the treadmill we often find ourselves on.
However when you find that you have dug yourself into a hole the first thing to do is stop digging. If the way you are attempting to better your situation is not working you need to reconsider your efforts. Is it worth doing to work over time to pay more in taxes to buy something you might have been able to do yourself? Perhaps she or her husband could learn some basic plumbing and install that garbage disposal and in doing so actually save money and spend time at home. Or better yet compost those scraps in the back yard and grow a garden.
In my opinion the thing that has always been great about Americans is not there resources but their resourcefulness.
Thanks Ginny! I love homemade pudding but I never have enough time to sit and watch it over the stove. Also, no matter how low I keep my stove's heat my puddings always seem to socrch a bit. (I have really cheap cookware). I will have to try your microwave suggestion!
Ditto what the folks said above. Shred it. At least the application section and personal info. Folks digging through your trash will look for these items when they want to steal your identity.
I read an article somewhere that said the credit card companies really don't care if you send them back junk in the application envelope. It goes straight into the circular file. The benefits I see in replying are 1. you feel better and 2. it gives the post office worker something to do. Otherwise, I'm sure you can find a better use for your time and energy.
Try the optout option. It's similar to the do not call list and the no junk mail list. I just signed up a few weeks ago so I can't say how well it works just yet.
when i was a kid, my mom would freeze capri sun's. then she would take the out and cut the top off and we'd have a "push pop". they were the best!!
Hi...it's the infamous "Jen".
Don't get me wrong, everyone...it is because I'm so grateful for what I have, that makes me so mad.
Believe it or not, when something bad happens to us, I can always say "it could be worse".
I am grateful for having such a hard working Husband, who loves his family so much. I am grateful for how great a father he is when he IS home.
I am grateful for the wonderful, healthy, loving children we have.
I am grateful for us being able to own our own home. 6 years ago, that wasn't even dream-able for us. But we both worked hard and did what we needed to do to clear up our credit, (our scores are almost as high as possible now.) and get our "stuff" together and make a home for our kids. We often look back at how we thought we were so rich when he was making $500 a week, and laugh. And we try and help our family and friends who are struggling.
And believe it or not, even though everyone thinks I'm a princess, we were going to move last year, but I didn't want to. We had the mortgage "ok" to pick up to a $400,000 home. We couldn't WAIT to get out of this house.
We looked at homes with inground pools, central vacuuming systems, stainless steel appliances, huge yards with creeks and ponds....you name it. (though we also lived in reality, and knew we didn't want to spend more than $320,000, if even that.)
My Husband started getting REALLY stressed out. Even though he was the one who said "let's move". (I was up for it, too.)
He didn't want to do ANYTHING other than work and save $$.
That's fine, temporarily, but I started to realize that we weren't doing the "living" we could have been doing, and who knows if all of us would still be here when we did finally find that nice house.
So after a while, my mind found ways to NOT want us to move.
I realized that here, my kids can walk out the front door, and play with which ever kid they want to. Here, we had fun neighbors who were 20 steps away, when I needed to borrow milk, or just wanted to socialize. Here, my Husband could work 5 days a week, and we could get by fine. Here, we could still take that week vacation at the shore every year.
Here, we can LIVE.
So...I talked my Husband OUT of moving. I talked him out of the cool pool parties with loud music that no neighbors would complain about, the quiet secclusion we'd have, the trees and creeks the kids could discover nature at, the fancy kitchen and bathrooms, the numerous huge closets, the envy our friends and family would have of us and our awesome home....the stress of having to make that next huge mortgage payment, the NO vacations so we COULD make the mortgage payment, him having to DEFINATELY work 7 days a week, no matter what, and the possibility of living in the streets if his body gave out. It didn't seem right, that he'd have this great house and property, and never get to be there or enjoy it, cause he'd be working.
This was before the gas and food prices rose so high.
We sure are glad we decided to stay. But it was ME who stopped us first.
I realized that we DO have a roof over our heads, and the kids DO like living here, even though we don't. We DO have enough money for food. We are NOT having hard times as the food and gas goes up. (yet.)
But MOST of all, my Husband is a little more at ease and not so stressed out. (though he still works 7 days a week...I'm trying to break him of that. He still wants out of here later!)
The bottom line is, that I realized how lucky I am, and how nothing needed to change for us to be luckier or happier.
I just still get really mad at how hard people like us have to work, and how it seems that the HARDER you work, the SLOWER you move up the ladder. The more the government takes for Governors to have fancy cars, and fancy luncheons. The more to feed and house everyone else. (and MOST of the people I've known to receive government aid, did NOT deserve or need it. Hence, why I think America lost its way long ago.) And the more they take to have stupid wars that don't benefit us at all. Hey, at least we paid to finish the president's Father's fight! Great.
I care about my Husband's every cent, which is why I come to this site. When I buy something we don't neccessarily need, I picture my Husband slaving away at work, and I decide if his sweat (and sometimes blood) and time away from us, is too valuable for that item or not.
I am VERY lucky. And of course, it has nothing to do with our bank account.
I think the odds are greater that it's just an error. (If you look at the comments above yours, several people posted saying that they made a mistake in entering a dependant's social security number. If there are enough such errors that more than one such persn ended up commenting here, it seems entirely possible that someone out there transposed a digit when entering a dependent's social security number, and happened to enter yours.
Contact the IRS and point out the error. I expect you'll get your money. (Probably not as a stimulus check this year. More likely it'll be added to your refund or deducted from the taxes that you owe for 2008, when you file next year.)
I don't have any inside info on fixing errors in stimulus payments. I'm just basing this on the way the IRS handles these sorts of errors in regular taxes: They're quite determined to get all the money that's owed to them, but also fairly determined to give back any money that isn't.
i don't compare myself to third world countries when i compare the way i live. i compare myself to other americans. when i see someone making thousands of dollars more than my own husband, for playing ping pong and lounging on couches at Google.com, while my husband works his ass off, it makes me mad, and it doesn't seem right. and my husband's job is something americans need.
Let me go on record saying that I feel for you, and I really do think that American economic stratification is absolutely ridiculous. But (there's always a but) at the same time, it's not like this is some new development in America either. Cutting edge technology, weapons development, sports and entertainment have always been the moneymakers in America. We reward innovation and genius, same as we always have.
Yet, others do so much less than him, and live in their McMansions, with their boats, and Gap clothes and drive their Lexus'....
Actually, lots of CEOs at major companies like the ones discussed in this article (the ones who bring in the big bucks) work just as many, if not more, hours than your husband does. They're just white collars, so that means they do it in fancy boardrooms and fancy cars and fancy hotels. Doesn't change the fact that it's irritating, tedious work. Also, other people like lawyers and doctors work their *asses* off in school to make the kind of money they make. It's not like it falls out of the sky.
And if you're talking about the rich heirs of inheritance, I don't know what to tell you, other than the fact that I was supposed to be a Rockefeller, but the stork got the wrong address....
Because we have to pay for Iraq to fix and rebuild their country.
Are they even thankful?
No. They blow us up left and right.
And WE are the ones paying most of it. The middle class. The people who REALLY work hard to get their 2 whole panels of white picket fence.
Er, yeah, but when you were talking about "helping people abroad" I didn't think you were referring to Bush's war...I don't think blowing the snot out of someone and destroying what little infrastructure and governmental system they have is a legitimate way to help them...
And I think the money we've spent over there is an outrageous misappropriation of funds...
But to be honest, you're being a bit like the ungrateful Iraqis you despise so much. You sit around on your computer with your car and your freedom and instead of being thankful that you were born in America instead of somewhere else, where you can have a house, a savings account, a car and a cell phone and still be able to complain about "scraping by"...you badmouth the government.
I disagree with the government, but there are personal choices involved too. My mother worked in the school cafeteria to help my father make ends meet when I was younger. She bagged groceries at night. (And she had a four year accounting degree!!) But it was an era of recession, so she did what she had to do. I was a latchkey kid for many years, but I understand my parents' sacrifice when I stand in their big $300,000 dollar house today.
That's why they're called bootstraps - you have to pull yourself up by them. Nobody is going to do it for you.
But when I see my friend's sister's home, who is on WELFARE for NO reason at all, except that HER mom was on welfare all her life, and there she is, in her nice apartment, with her central air, dishwasher and garbage disposal, with her kids in their Gap clothes, and her with her pretty nails, goverment cheese milk, eggs, peanut butter and orange juice, and let's not forget her FREE health care and her PERFECT teeth, and she never worked a day in her life....
Agree with you here again. The welfare system needs a significant reform.
I would LOVE a garbage disposal! I would LOVE a dishwasher! And I sure would LOVE central air, right now.
But do I have them?
NO.
What's stopping you? Those things aren't expensive, especially if you get them used. I know people who make less than your husband who have the same amount of kids as you do and have a garbage disposal and a dishwasher (and are NOT on welfare..)...You can get these things if you're willing to sacrifice or work for them. Obviously your priorities are elsewhere. You have a cell phone and a computer, but not a garbage disposal. Whose fault is that? Sell the computer and that's probably enough for a dishwasher right there.
I never complain to him. It's not his fault. So he didn't become a doctor. I never expected that from him.
You didn't expect him to become a doctor. Just bring home a doctor's wages, apparently. You want the rewards, just not the work.
I agree with your stance on the government, but I still think you're being a little unreasonable.
Aside from fortified dairy, you've got two choices: supplements or sunshine.
Personally, I go with sunshine from April through September, and go with supplements during the months of the year when the sunshine isn't intense enough for proper vitamin D production.
(Skin cancer, of course, is a concern--but the research I've done suggests that the amount of sun exposure needed to produce adequate vitamin D (really quite little, for pale-skinned people) is safe.)
I take the offers apart. Return envelopes are used to put shopping lists on and coupons in, or turned inside out, reglued and reused, or if there's no writing on it reused as is. Any paper with a blank side is used to print out articles from the computer or as drawing paper for the kids. Blank sections are cut into smaller pieces for notes by the telephone. The rest is shredded and put into the compost pile, where it eventually becomes lovely stuff for the garden. If we get anything that resembles packing materials it's put in a box in the cellar and used when we send Christmas gifts for family (we're quite spread out).
@jen - I feel for you, but I don't understand why you can't afford a garbage disposal. They aren't that expensive, and the pipe to hook it up is not too expensive. :)
I agree with you. There certainly are some terrible gaps between entitlements for the poor, and entitlements for working people. Back in the past, the real "minimum wage" was a lot higher, and working paid off better. That's when these relatively high humanitarian standards of housing, medical care, and other entitlements for the poor were established.
The problem is, in the past 30 years or so, the wage bottom has dropped, and there's a gap between welfare benefits for non-workers and the expenses you have to incur as a worker purchasing services in the private market.
So, we probably have to adjust a few things - entitlements to the poor should probably be decreased, and some subsidies like section 8 might stand a cut, but we also need to mandate a higher minimum wage, perhaps nationalize health care, and perhaps increase some public spending for entitlements that working people can use. In this way, our taxes are used to benefit more working people, more directly. Expanding entitlements can also lower the up-front and ongoing costs for a poor person's entry into the workforce.
Certain kinds of "welfare", like a lower bus fare, universal health care, reduced public college fees, or after-school programs, translate into more cash-in-hand for most people, and have a levelling effect on incomes (because more affluent people pay more taxes, but everyone benefits from these savings).
We have seen the terrible effects of years of ideological opposition to "government programs". On the one hand, we've got an economy in decline, and our "bootstraps" are frayed and weak. Opportunity to benefit handsomely from your work isn't so common as it used to be (though the opportunity to overwork, and compete with engineers doing 12-14 hour workdays seems to have increased!).
On the other hand, we had a military surplus that allowed us to invade an oil-rich nation in the hopes of toppling its government (and that was an accomplished mission) and replace it with a compliant government eager to work with western oil companies (has not happend quite yet).
Perhaps if the welfare spending we a touch greater, and the military spending were a bit lower, we'd be complaining about lazy liberals and the 32 hour work-week, and not so angry at Bush and Arabs, and upset about our 60 hour work weeks.
@xin - I hope you were joking. These days, you have to be poor to get all those freebies, and they don't last long. After 6 months, they make you do menial labor for less than minimum wage.
While I basically agree with you that people should use public transportation, and that doing so is an economic benefit to the individual as well as society, I have reservations about the increasing trend of middle class and affluent people moving into cities. There are a lot of people being displaced to the exurbs, where life is less sustainable than ever. In L.A., there are people from the working-class neighborhoods near downtown moving out to areas like Rialto and Lancaster due to recent rent increases, rebuilding of public housing (and increased police harrassment of section 8 and public housing). While they may get more apartment for their money, they're also 60 miles from their old home.
So, you have a reverse "white flight" (though, this time, it's not necessarily white) where people move into denser residential cities. Though these renovated cities are more dense than suburbs, the tendency is to put fewer people into each household. You'll have more DINKs and singles, and with their higher incomes, they can buy or rent more space than they use.
Back when I was young, people put two kids into a bedroom, and there was no "home office". Nowadays, an affluent single might rent (or buy) a two bedroom apartment and use one bedroom as an office. Though it's not the typical change, you can see that is a 4-to-1 decrease in population density.
This also happens when apartments are torn down and replaced with a mix of condos and apartments. When SROs go "loft", they combine apartments into a larger apartment. If this happens enough, the density in the city might decrease, easing traffic problems... making it cheaper to drive.
At the same time, density in the suburbs increases dramatically. Out in L.A.'s suburbs, poor, undocumented immigrants live together in houses, with 2-3 people per room. Not bedroom, but room. You might have 10 people in a house meant for 5. As poverty among the suburbanites increases, expect more doubling and tripling up in bedrooms.
This will increase density, parking problems, and traffic. It could urbanize the suburbs - except that people who lack political power will have a hard time marshalling or fighting for state and federal money to improve public transit.
Because these new suburbanites are far from the city center and the city council, they will become invisible people.
Hi Jen, from your description it seems that you're really angry at all the taxes your family has to pay. Well, I agree that it's pretty annoying. My husband and I paid almost 40k last year in federal and state taxes and we can't even afford to buy a tiny row home here in the Bay Area. If you hubby works a bit less he has to pay less taxes so it might be good to let him take a bit time off if your budget allows it. When you do get a new job you should check if it's really worth it, too. The marriage penalty on taxes might come back in full force if the Bush Tax cuts were repealed. Anyway, I have actually thought of quitting my job to get low income status and claim various benefits like subsidized housing and escape the endless taxes. So I sort of understand where you are coming from on that point.
I love your fabulous attitude!!!1
Man, you guys aren't getting my point.
My Husband works his *ss off, 7 days a week, and we are what people would call "lower middle class".
Yet, others do so much less than him, and live in their McMansions, with their boats, and Gap clothes and drive their Lexus'....
So it sucks that we can never get ahead. Sure, we're much better off than we were 10 years ago. But this society doesn't seem to allow much "getting ahead" room.
He makes $1400 a week. And brings home hundreds and hundreds less than that.
Why?
Because we have to pay for Iraq to fix and rebuild their country.
Are they even thankful?
No. They blow us up left and right.
And WE are the ones paying most of it. The middle class. The people who REALLY work hard to get their 2 whole panels of white picket fence.
So my Husband is left to work, work, work, and work.
So that other countries can have a better life?
What have they done for US?????????????
That's what I thought.......NOTHING.
And if their new democracy works out (if they can ever get their sh*t together and LET IT WORK OUT) and they get nice and rich and prosperous....do you think they'll EVER do anything for us?
NO.
But lets send my Husband's hard earned cash over there, shall we?
Yeah. Cause WE don't want it.
And that other person was right. I do NOT compare myself to other countries when I count my blessings.
I compare myself to America.
I live in a tiny row house, in the middle of town, where in front of every house is a work truck with a ladder rack and tools, and a nicer car for the wives and kids to use.
Yes, we ARE lucky compared to a lot of people.
But when I see my friend's sister's home, who is on WELFARE for NO reason at all, except that HER mom was on welfare all her life, and there she is, in her nice apartment, with her central air, dishwasher and garbage disposal, with her kids in their Gap clothes, and her with her pretty nails, goverment cheese milk, eggs, peanut butter and orange juice, and let's not forget her FREE health care and her PERFECT teeth, and she never worked a day in her life....
I say we went WRONG somewhere.
I would LOVE a garbage disposal! I would LOVE a dishwasher! And I sure would LOVE central air, right now.
But do I have them?
NO.
Why? Because MY Husband works his *ss off 7 days a week, and almost half of it supports that lazy loser chick AND all her neighbors!
So yeah, I'm "tiffed" when Sunday rolls around, and my Kids ask me when Dad is getting home from work, and I say "probably at 5".
It's not right.
He's practically killing himself for everyone ELSE in the world.
I never complain to him. It's not his fault. So he didn't become a doctor. I never expected that from him.
I would just think that for the hours he works, we might have a garbage disposal or something!
And yes, I intend to get a job when the kids are in school full time next year. I wish I could get one now. But with his hours being all over the place from one day to the next, I could never make it to a job on time. We've already tried that.
Maybe he should just quit, then we can live in a NICE house, built and maintained by the government, fridge stocked by the government, and clothes, nails, and medical care BY THE GOVERNMENT.
Then we could live our happy lives.
In my own life, I find it easier to appreciate what I've already got when I don't spend much time shopping or paging through magazines.
And I love the thought that the opportunities afforded us are part of our wealth, even if we're not taking advantage of them.
Did someone else claim me? I went to check on the status of my stimulus check, and it said I was not qualified for the check because another tax payer claimed me. Niether of my parents claimed me. So who did? Is this a scam? What should I do?
I posted a comment a while ago, I guess it got lost in the approval pile.
I was ranting about this a few months ago. It's infuriating. I got two of them, sent to the same address to the same name. It seems like now that our society is starting to pay attention to issues like sustainability, these companies would be held accountable for this kind of waste. I put the junk in the return envelope and sent it back to them.
Unless you're drinking 2 glasses a milk or another fortified beverage you are not receiving the proper amount of Vitamin D in your diet. It is very difficult to eat enough Vitamin D "rich" foods in your diet alone. Also once in their 50's people need higher amounts of Vitamin D.
I have so much fruit on hand at the moment and I was searching for a magazine recipe I'd seen for fruit ices. But they involved cooking. I was glad to see such a simple suggestion. I have some animal shaped molds from a rummage sale but i could find only the sticks. so i poured the pureed watermelon and blueberries into baby food cubes and right now my daughter is eating one as slush. she says it's good.