You mentioned that you did not plan to have a baby. I'm not at all religious and I think that two consenting adults should get to do whatever they want with each other. However, the fact remains that having sex without using an extremely reliable form of birth control IS planning to have a baby.
Also, the fact is that as judgmental as you are about your fellow welfare moms, at least you are not supporting their lifestyle, and it is really therefore none of your business. However, as a taxpayer, I do play a role in supporting the lifestyle of everyone who does receive public assistance, and as a voting citizen I believe I not only have the right, but the responsibility, to evaluate what people are doing with it. If you don't like it that people who don't receive welfare but do pay taxes feel that they can judge you, then go to work full-time (if you are intelligent and educated, you have options other than bartender), move to a less expensive city, move back in with your mom, whatever it takes, but be self-sufficient.
I think the other thing that is provoking negativity is you talk about "the system" as if it is this money factory out there printing out bills that you are entitled to. You don't seem to recognize that there are people who don't have any choice for survival but to work, and then a certain amount is taken from us to pay for "the system". And you don't sound the least appreciative...you come across as thinking you should be the one getting kudos for your contribution to society, and for your decision to work part-time so you can be with your child 24/7.
Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
I'm in the "former" category: having a child now would be a financial disaster -- especially in this economy! (Adopting or getting artificial insemination alone would wipe out my savings). I've worked with children from a variety of financial backgrounds, and raising a child poor isn't something I'm willing to enter into. I'm aware of the health risks, and I've made peace with adopting a child if it comes to that.
And I wish people would stop saying "take a few courses and get a better job". (I did that a couple of years ago). It isn't that easy. You still have to start near the bottom of your new career and work your way up. In many cases, it isn't "a couple of courses" that will get you into a higher-paying career -- it's a couple of YEARS of schooling. (Which is worthwhile, but an entirely different matter from a financial point of view).
I couldn't agree with you more. I made the switch this year. I used to use my debit card for everything, which to me was like spending cash. This year I got two different cards - one that pays 3% cash back for common purchases such as gas, groceries, cell phone bills, and 1% cash back for everything else. The other pays me 5% cash back for a specific bill I have to pay every month. On the 3%/1% card I wait until I've earned $200 to request the cash, then they send me $250. A nice 25% bonus!
I understand what everyone says about temptation, which is why I keep a separate credit card. If for some reason I feel I must buy something that I do not have the money in the bank to cover, I can charge it to the other card. I have found that just that simple bit of having to pull out a different card stops the temptation.
I keep my savings in a high-interest money market account, and keep my checking account just over $2,000 so there are no fees associated with it. I haven't paid a bank fee except ATM in 3 years, and those have been only a few times. When my debit card came up for renewal this year, I did not activate it. The bank said there was no way to get it without the Visa capability, which would mean if someone steals that Visa card they can empty my bank account.
I think a lot of people do not know just how dangerous using a debit card with a credit card attached is. If someone steals your credit card number and wipes out your bank account, every time you swiped your debit card to pay for something, you get to pay a returned check fee to your bank. And while your bank may make you whole in a couple of weeks for the money stolen, there is nothing requiring them to waive those fees. I've heard horror stories of people racking up $500 to $1,000 in those fees. No thank you! I'd rather charge it to the credit card and make one or two payments a month from my checking account to my credit card.
A lot of people have been burned by keeping their checking account balance low, then using their debit card for gas, car rental, hotel, or anything that puts a hold on your credit card. Even though the money is in your account, if they put a $75 hold on your card and you have your bank balance go down to $74, then you get pegged with a bounced check. There's a reason why the banker insiders call what they advertise as "no fee" checking, their "fee-based" checking. They rack up a fortune!
One other thing I do not do is setup automatic payments if I can avoid them. They have a way of continuing beyond when they should. I feel a lot better by paying my bills as they come due. If you must setup an automatic payment, at least by using the credit card you can dispute it.
The bottom line for me has changed drastically. I used to pay my bank fees every month and risk huge fees because I didn't know how easy it would be for someone to empty my bank account for me. Now instead of paying fees, I earn money. I've also managed to put just over $27,000 in high-interest savings that last year was earning 5%, and now makes 3.5%. I'm finding this makes an overall difference of $200 to $225 more in my pocket every single month. While it won't make me wealthy, it is nothing to sneeze at! It is also a wonderful feeling to be in charge of my money rather than having it be in charge of me.
One thing I wanted to mention regarding credit scores - they are now being used for more than just credit. Some insurance companies will charge you a higher fee if your credit is bad. You can also be denied employment for having a bad credit score.
I think the biggest falling fuel costs will do for me is free up a little more money in my budget each week. I have spent less and less on discretionary items. Also, the rising cost of food has had an impact on my budget as well, and that is likely to lessen for a time as well. This added room in my budget will allow me to have a little more money for discretionary items. I might save a little of that money, but I never stopped saving during this time. Saving is one of the last things I would want to cut from my budget. Maybe this change will allow me to put a little more money into the hands of businesses other than oil companies.
I bought a Honda Civic in the spring of 2001, and a significant part of that choice was based on fuel economy. So, I've been, perhaps, less affected than most during this entire oil price run up. I have never driven a lot more than necessary, 200 miles to and from work every week, perhaps 20-200 miles for incidentals on the weekend depending on my plans. But, even I changed by driving habits during the last year to year and a half. I combined more stops. Delayed some travel that could wait until another trip took me close to that location. Ultimately, that didn't knock a lot of my already fairly frugal driving, but it took of maybe 50-75 miles a month. I would say that with gas now approaching $1.50/gal (it is presently $1.62 at the station closest to my home), I am making some of those discretionary trips again, but only after some deliberation.
"I think this article has great advice, but what about single women who are sick of waiting and want to have children?"
As a single woman who waited too long and who lost her ability to have children earlier than normal (in my 30s), here is what I think. Don't wait too long. You don't know when the ability to have children is taken away from you.
I don't know what kind of job you have. Mine was good enough that I could have afforded to have a child. It also came with good maternity benefits. But I thought, oh I will definitely meet someone this year. Or next year. And then I lost my fertility.
If your job is not like this - try to find a better job, the one that would allow you to support your kid. It's possible to support a child on one salary. Take some courses. There are professions out there that pay well. Save money. Don't buy a house, buy a two-bedroom co-op. But do it quickly. Don't wait too long. Yes, you'll definitely be poorer as a single mother than if you are just single. Think what you will regret more when you are 50 - not having had children or not having enough money. There is no right or wrong answer here, only the one that is right for you.
Even with women whose ovaries don't fail prematurely as mine did, there is still significant decline in fertility after the age of 35. As one blogger ObGyn put it - "there is still no cure for year 35 bug". Certainly there are some women who can have kids into their 40s, some without help some with fertility treatments, but statistically, a large percentage of women can't, and this percentage goes up every year. Not to mention that the risk of having a child with birth defects goes up exponentially with every year after 30. There are other health issues as well. Having kids earlier is better for both mother's health and the child's. A lot of financial blogs talk about being able to afford kids, but they all forget to mention health issues. But IMHO, health issues should be important part of the decision.
This post is not for teenagers or those who have kids and go on welfare. This post is for professional women in their late 20s and 30s - both single and married - who are deciding on having kids now or waiting when they have "more money". "Not being able to afford" is relative. For some people it means having to go on welfare, for others simply having less savings or having to live in an apartment instead of a house. If you are in the latter category, think what is more important to you - better lifestyle or having kids.
Why did you waste blog space by asking the question?
The people that need to ask the question and answer it truthfully, are the last people that can and would read your blog. If they decided to live a conscious life, they would have already asked question.
Haven't you noticed the inverse correlation between family size and socioeconomic standing? Haven't you noticed the correlation between a mother's age and her first born, and socioeconomic standing? It's the stupid, ignorant people that are having all the kids they can't afford because the government will give them free housing, free food and free medical care. They don't care what the real cost is to raise a healthy normal child, they just see those dollar bills and a chance to get out of their mother's home. Why else would you have great-grandmothers in their 50's ? The War on Poverty and the Great Society programs are complete failures and nobody will stop them.
Your view is so American, it is laughable. In other countries, if you get into a top position and DON'T hire relatives and friends, and even friends of relatives, you are considered selfish and not a good family member. Is that corruption, or just a different way of looking at things?
I too have diabetes type 2. I have not felt pain or tiredness with my condition. However, prior to being diagnosed diabetic I was diagnosed with thyroid disease. Before I was treated for thyroid, I was exhausted all the time and some times had muscle pains. You might want to have your TSH levels checked. This might be causing your symptoms.
For me, no gift can top a gift of cash! I do not want something that someone 'thinks' I can use. I don't want something that someone thinks I would look good in. I don't want more stuff period. I like to pick out what I want, when I want it (something on sale in January, perhaps), or just put it in my bank account to pay future bills. A gift card to a store where I shop is almost as good. Not romatic or 'holiday spirited'? That doesn't bother me a bit. The best gift is one the receipient wants and/or can use, not what the giver wants to give.
The phrase "snow job" had a beginning when political district captains were able to hire their friends and supporters to shovel the streets after a snow storm.
Often they would simply lean on their shovels or put in two hours work for eight hours pay. My uncle owned a small shop in the Bronx. For a contribution of a couple of dollars, half a dozen men would clear the sidewalks in front of his store in a matter of minutes and thank him when finished. Corrupt, yes, but a benign corruption where the choice was yours and you benefitted from the transaction.
Same shop several years later... The city flunky who inspected scales comes in and explains that for $10 they need not waste the time of testing them.
The obvious chane is that at one point corruption was a tool to get more than you were entitled to, now it is a case of if you don't pay you will be harmed.
You can extrapolate that to all levels of Gov't.
Sunshine laws are the best way to control but you need newspapers to be strong enough to publish and prosecuters honest rnough to prosecute.
You know not what you are saying. At least here in Tijuana, where I currently live, they will not even accept bribes in pesos anymore. It's 50USD bills or higer. You have a nice shiny SUV (even if it's not new)? pay up! Even then you car might get towed, and you will have to pay even more in bribes to get it back because the cops will tell the guys at the impound lot you can be forced to pay up a bribe to get your car back.
Or you could just take the ticket, avoid paying any bribes, and then just pop to the equivalent of the DMV here and pay the fine.
Assets? Investments? 401k? A will? Since when is there any of that LEFT to divide? If you have any of those left post-divorce, you are beyond lucky. My ex-husband quit working a couple of years before I left and by refusing to work, demanded I support the household on my income alone until I was completely broke, then, knowing I couldn't afford a lawyer, took virtually everything of value and left me with all the mutual debt simply by refusing to sign the papers unless the terms were his way. Close joint accounts? Do it way before you separate, or at the very least, open your own individual accounts for everything possible and request to have your name removed from former joint accounts wherever possible. Don't take the word of your soon-to-be-ex; oversee all financial matters yourself and keep checking your credit reports every few months to make sure any creditors are not trashing you for your ex's debt (they WILL do that). No way to be too well-protected or prepare too far in advance. If you change employment or get a raise, ask for it to be direct-deposited separately into your new individual bank account. Not suggesting you hide assets or do anything illegal, just make sure your spouse can not access it before the case goes to court, and you have something saved up for your needs. Go apartment hunting, or job-hunting if you were a home maker. Take job skill classes NOW, on the net if necessary. You will need them, need every possible way to be more marketable to get by as a single-income household. Learn to sell on ebay and keep the income separate, I bought inventory wholesale that I already dealt with in business and retailed it on ebay for a significant portion of my income. Ebay saved my a$$ until I was able to relocate and re-train and stabilize my life a little bit. Don't be ashamed to furnish your new space with finds from Goodwill, friends, craigslist and freecycle.com. You can always give your friends their stuff back when your life stabilizes, so don't be ashamed to borrow that bed or microwave. The savings might be really important. If you have any suspicion of getting saddled with a tax debt, contact the IRS before you separate, and if possible convince your spouse to contribute equally to paying off any old joint returns. Establish a history of her making payments on it, so the IRS would have reason to enforce collection equally on both of you and not just you alone. As soon as you have worked out a theoretical budget on how much your new post-divorce life will cost, ransack the internet and the IRS web site for info on how to prepare a strategy to request an abatement of penalties and interest that you can enact as soon as the divorce is finalized and you are in reduced circumstances. My ex didn't pay taxes the first 2 years post-divorce, and when the IRS caught up with him, he started paying off the most recent bill first, leaving me stuck with the higher joint return. Needless to say, I have not received any of my tax refunds since the divorce - they are all applied to that old joint return, and although I have paid the amount of the original tax bill, the IRS refuses to sever liability, and keeps raising the total every year so it's as if I never paid anything. The first year post-divorce my income was $9000 (I lost my business the same year as the divorce and had to switch careers), yet the IRS gladly took the tax refund I worked for and applied it to my ex-husband's responsibility. Nor will the IRS give you the time of day unless you are represented by a lawyer; another reason to take care of IRS issues before going down to one income. No matter how much faith you have in human decency and common courtesy, and no matter how well you think you know your spouse, don't underestimate how far they will go to get everything and leave you nothing. You will be surprised to find how much the person can cost you by simply resisting, delaying and refusing to cooperate. My ex for example evades paying child support by remaining under-employed and frequently changing jobs, so I get to support my son AND have the privelege of paying 100% of the costs of delivering him for court-ordered visitation 150 miles away. I could get it legally changed if I could save enough of the transportation costs to afford a lawyer, or afford enough time off work to pester the Child Support Division to make the guy pay up. BTW you can't depend on state agencies to do their jobs either without constant pressure from you, so investigate now what you will need to know about child support enforcement and (in our case) getting kids health insurance from the state. Post-divorce you will likely have to work every waking hour to make ends meet and there will be no time to look into these things and follow up. You want out of the marriage and will give in order to get, then a surprising few months later you might find yourself having to choose between gas to get to work or groceries to make dinner for your little one when you get home, things you never thought in your life would ever come up, and at the same time be amazed that it's possible to be so busy all the time when you have to do everything yourself, and yet still know that getting out of a terminal relationship leaves you better off.
I have worked behind a retail cash register for 30 years. Based upon my experience, I have no trouble believing he could pull this off. There are many, many times I have mistakenly handed someone change for a 10 instead of a 20 and they have walked off before I realized I mischanged them and called them back and gave them the correct change (it helps that I leave the cash on the till until the customer walks away, religiously).. It's because if you convey the transaction smoothly as if it's legitimate (which, if it's an honest mistake, you will believe it is legitimate), the person will often go along with it. As to how cashiers would give him change back in the video, the guy who was selling the fish would have given him change for a 20, which would have been his most common bill that he receives from a customer and which is close to the $18 purchase price. How distraction plays into this is that the more engaged your conscious mind is in attending to the novelty of someone keeping you distracted with conversation (and, in this guy Brown's case often changing the subject and interlacing phrases that double "subconscious commands"), the more the teller/cashier will rely on their rehearsed rote response, in this case paying out cash or giving change or just completing the transaction. When you handle cash tens of thousands of times over decades, you develop all kinds of "habits" (like giving change for a 20 as a reflex).
i second the guy who wrote in, whenever someone is acting over the top, or has a friend talking to you at the same time, is the time to stop and pay attention. I have been known to actually stop them with a "hold off" hand gesture, saying "just a minute, I need to stop talking to you for a second so I make sure I give you the right change"--stoppping the distraction. which makes it sound like it's for their benefit, when in reality I am focusing on getting it right for both parties' sake, particularly mine if I sense they are trying to get one over on me. Then you have to physically look at the bills and recount them, make sure you don't put their money in the till until they are out of the store, etc. Also you can make a show of counting the change out saying, "ok, you gave me a 20, here's 5, 10, and 10 make 20. OK?" and look them in the eye to get agreement and confirm that there is no misunderstanding or weakness of understanding on your part.
Kris H, what do you mean you've never heard of the border wall? It's a wall that the U.S. is building, on the border with Mexico. They're almost done building it where I live. The weird thing is that It's only 700 miles long, and has gaps in places. I think that when they start circulating the Amero, the U.S. is going to take down this wall, and sell it to Mexico. Then Mexico will put it on it's southern border.
I actually support the Amero. If we don't do this soon, the Euro is going to keep kicking our ass. Until recently, 1 Euro bought about 1.60 dollars. I'm thinking that the U.S. government has a Euro dollar exchange rate number that will force them to admit that there will be an Amero. I say that # may be 1 Euro = 2 Dollars. That Number may come quite soon becuase on january 1, 2009 the Euro is adding another country.
Also the real Union of South America already has plans for a common currency. If they beat North America to a common currency they may take the name Amero from us, and that would be very bad. There are Official plans for a middle eastern common currency called the Khaleeji starting sometime in 2010. There will also be a common currency called the Eco, for parts of Africa by December 1, 2009. Also Parts of Asia called ASEAN + 3, have plans for a common currency, but they haven't said when it's going to be available. So North America would need an Amero by 2010, or we would be one of the last common currencies.
My hair is a disaster. I'll be 41 in the next few days and when I was young, I was (operative word here is 'was') blessed with beautifully thick, straight and very silky chestnut locks. My first grays were thick and wiry and now the front area, where my bangs are, are these thin fly-away cotton like hairs that stick in all directions. The remaining grays continue to live in their wiry existence, despite the heavy conditioning I douse them with.
No. My grays are anything but attractive and while I still color my hair, my appearance is anything but youthful as well.
I've been to several professionals who even confess that my situation is hopeless. I thought perhaps a perm might at least force them into more tame looking ringlets, but those same professionals have said that this will not be.
I don't think natural gray suits me at all. The remaining "natural" colored hair is much darker than my original. I am very fair skinned, almost chalk white, and I am now repeatedly asked if I am Eastern European... which is strange given my Irish roots.
*sigh* I just wish I knew where to take the next step.
Great tips and tricks from the post and comments! Will definitely try some out. I wrote a post for a cheap and easy pancake recipe a week or two ago. Once you know how to make this batter, it makes you wonder how IHOP can charge so much for pancakes.
Actually Hanukkah starts December 21st. Plenty of time to organize gifts.
I love the idea of asking what people want. As adults we should all be able to handle the 'non-surprise but getting an actual gift we want'. I am pretty impossible to shop for and my mom called me this year and offered up an idea since she knows me but was worried whether or not I'd like it. She's getting me a bean cookbook and these amazing beans from Rancho Gordo (heirloom varieties). I was ecstatic - the perfect gift. And I'm glad she asked and now I get to look forward to getting them!
Tis me, the welfare mom again. While I've been derided on here for "taking advantage" of the system, I feel that I'm the kind of person that the welfare system was designed for. I'm educated, intelligent, capable. I did not plan on getting pregnant. I lived with my mother for 3 years through pregnancy, toddlerhood. Now, I live in public housing in a VERY expensive city. There is no way I could support a child in this town and be able to be present for her as a mother. I survive on food stamps and subsidized housing. Could I do better? Well, I worked as a bartender for 15 years before my daughter was born. Once I became a mom, I began to have misgivings about getting people drunk for a living, working the late late hours, plus, my post-baby-figure is not as lucrative as it was in years past. I think I mentioned in my original post that I am planning on going back to school in a few years to secure a job that will allow me to support my daughter and myself without public assistance. I am not taking advantage or abusing the system. As a resident in a public housing apartment complex, I see people who are truly abusing the system. My next door neighbor has 4 of her children living with her, who are from 3 different fathers.
She has several more who seem to come and go, bringing her total number of children to about 7. She is about my age, does not work (that I can tell) nor does her current husband. Those kids are the dirtiest little bundles of tooth decay you've ever seen. They are totally unattended and unparented. She and her family will never be off of welfare. Many of my neighbors are just like her. I, on the other hand, send my child to the best charter school I could find in this city, educate myself, don't let my child watch television (movies sometimes), am attentive to her and what she eats, etc. Yes, I don't want to work full time and have someone else raising my child. For now I am utilizing a system that IS prone to abuse, but I will not go on having children and using the welfare system forever. I am the best choice of welfare participant--I am using welfare for the time being so that I may get myself off of welfare.
But, Hey! Thanks for all the judgement!
You mentioned that you did not plan to have a baby. I'm not at all religious and I think that two consenting adults should get to do whatever they want with each other. However, the fact remains that having sex without using an extremely reliable form of birth control IS planning to have a baby.
Also, the fact is that as judgmental as you are about your fellow welfare moms, at least you are not supporting their lifestyle, and it is really therefore none of your business. However, as a taxpayer, I do play a role in supporting the lifestyle of everyone who does receive public assistance, and as a voting citizen I believe I not only have the right, but the responsibility, to evaluate what people are doing with it. If you don't like it that people who don't receive welfare but do pay taxes feel that they can judge you, then go to work full-time (if you are intelligent and educated, you have options other than bartender), move to a less expensive city, move back in with your mom, whatever it takes, but be self-sufficient.
I think the other thing that is provoking negativity is you talk about "the system" as if it is this money factory out there printing out bills that you are entitled to. You don't seem to recognize that there are people who don't have any choice for survival but to work, and then a certain amount is taken from us to pay for "the system". And you don't sound the least appreciative...you come across as thinking you should be the one getting kudos for your contribution to society, and for your decision to work part-time so you can be with your child 24/7.
Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
I'm in the "former" category: having a child now would be a financial disaster -- especially in this economy! (Adopting or getting artificial insemination alone would wipe out my savings). I've worked with children from a variety of financial backgrounds, and raising a child poor isn't something I'm willing to enter into. I'm aware of the health risks, and I've made peace with adopting a child if it comes to that.
And I wish people would stop saying "take a few courses and get a better job". (I did that a couple of years ago). It isn't that easy. You still have to start near the bottom of your new career and work your way up. In many cases, it isn't "a couple of courses" that will get you into a higher-paying career -- it's a couple of YEARS of schooling. (Which is worthwhile, but an entirely different matter from a financial point of view).
I couldn't agree with you more. I made the switch this year. I used to use my debit card for everything, which to me was like spending cash. This year I got two different cards - one that pays 3% cash back for common purchases such as gas, groceries, cell phone bills, and 1% cash back for everything else. The other pays me 5% cash back for a specific bill I have to pay every month. On the 3%/1% card I wait until I've earned $200 to request the cash, then they send me $250. A nice 25% bonus!
I understand what everyone says about temptation, which is why I keep a separate credit card. If for some reason I feel I must buy something that I do not have the money in the bank to cover, I can charge it to the other card. I have found that just that simple bit of having to pull out a different card stops the temptation.
I keep my savings in a high-interest money market account, and keep my checking account just over $2,000 so there are no fees associated with it. I haven't paid a bank fee except ATM in 3 years, and those have been only a few times. When my debit card came up for renewal this year, I did not activate it. The bank said there was no way to get it without the Visa capability, which would mean if someone steals that Visa card they can empty my bank account.
I think a lot of people do not know just how dangerous using a debit card with a credit card attached is. If someone steals your credit card number and wipes out your bank account, every time you swiped your debit card to pay for something, you get to pay a returned check fee to your bank. And while your bank may make you whole in a couple of weeks for the money stolen, there is nothing requiring them to waive those fees. I've heard horror stories of people racking up $500 to $1,000 in those fees. No thank you! I'd rather charge it to the credit card and make one or two payments a month from my checking account to my credit card.
A lot of people have been burned by keeping their checking account balance low, then using their debit card for gas, car rental, hotel, or anything that puts a hold on your credit card. Even though the money is in your account, if they put a $75 hold on your card and you have your bank balance go down to $74, then you get pegged with a bounced check. There's a reason why the banker insiders call what they advertise as "no fee" checking, their "fee-based" checking. They rack up a fortune!
One other thing I do not do is setup automatic payments if I can avoid them. They have a way of continuing beyond when they should. I feel a lot better by paying my bills as they come due. If you must setup an automatic payment, at least by using the credit card you can dispute it.
The bottom line for me has changed drastically. I used to pay my bank fees every month and risk huge fees because I didn't know how easy it would be for someone to empty my bank account for me. Now instead of paying fees, I earn money. I've also managed to put just over $27,000 in high-interest savings that last year was earning 5%, and now makes 3.5%. I'm finding this makes an overall difference of $200 to $225 more in my pocket every single month. While it won't make me wealthy, it is nothing to sneeze at! It is also a wonderful feeling to be in charge of my money rather than having it be in charge of me.
One thing I wanted to mention regarding credit scores - they are now being used for more than just credit. Some insurance companies will charge you a higher fee if your credit is bad. You can also be denied employment for having a bad credit score.
The single most important thing to remember when it comes to mystery shopping companies and avoiding scams is to never send money.
No legitimate mystery shopping company will every ask you for money or charge a fee to join them.
I think the biggest falling fuel costs will do for me is free up a little more money in my budget each week. I have spent less and less on discretionary items. Also, the rising cost of food has had an impact on my budget as well, and that is likely to lessen for a time as well. This added room in my budget will allow me to have a little more money for discretionary items. I might save a little of that money, but I never stopped saving during this time. Saving is one of the last things I would want to cut from my budget. Maybe this change will allow me to put a little more money into the hands of businesses other than oil companies.
I bought a Honda Civic in the spring of 2001, and a significant part of that choice was based on fuel economy. So, I've been, perhaps, less affected than most during this entire oil price run up. I have never driven a lot more than necessary, 200 miles to and from work every week, perhaps 20-200 miles for incidentals on the weekend depending on my plans. But, even I changed by driving habits during the last year to year and a half. I combined more stops. Delayed some travel that could wait until another trip took me close to that location. Ultimately, that didn't knock a lot of my already fairly frugal driving, but it took of maybe 50-75 miles a month. I would say that with gas now approaching $1.50/gal (it is presently $1.62 at the station closest to my home), I am making some of those discretionary trips again, but only after some deliberation.
"I think this article has great advice, but what about single women who are sick of waiting and want to have children?"
As a single woman who waited too long and who lost her ability to have children earlier than normal (in my 30s), here is what I think. Don't wait too long. You don't know when the ability to have children is taken away from you.
I don't know what kind of job you have. Mine was good enough that I could have afforded to have a child. It also came with good maternity benefits. But I thought, oh I will definitely meet someone this year. Or next year. And then I lost my fertility.
If your job is not like this - try to find a better job, the one that would allow you to support your kid. It's possible to support a child on one salary. Take some courses. There are professions out there that pay well. Save money. Don't buy a house, buy a two-bedroom co-op. But do it quickly. Don't wait too long. Yes, you'll definitely be poorer as a single mother than if you are just single. Think what you will regret more when you are 50 - not having had children or not having enough money. There is no right or wrong answer here, only the one that is right for you.
Even with women whose ovaries don't fail prematurely as mine did, there is still significant decline in fertility after the age of 35. As one blogger ObGyn put it - "there is still no cure for year 35 bug". Certainly there are some women who can have kids into their 40s, some without help some with fertility treatments, but statistically, a large percentage of women can't, and this percentage goes up every year. Not to mention that the risk of having a child with birth defects goes up exponentially with every year after 30. There are other health issues as well. Having kids earlier is better for both mother's health and the child's. A lot of financial blogs talk about being able to afford kids, but they all forget to mention health issues. But IMHO, health issues should be important part of the decision.
This post is not for teenagers or those who have kids and go on welfare. This post is for professional women in their late 20s and 30s - both single and married - who are deciding on having kids now or waiting when they have "more money". "Not being able to afford" is relative. For some people it means having to go on welfare, for others simply having less savings or having to live in an apartment instead of a house. If you are in the latter category, think what is more important to you - better lifestyle or having kids.
Why did you waste blog space by asking the question?
The people that need to ask the question and answer it truthfully, are the last people that can and would read your blog. If they decided to live a conscious life, they would have already asked question.
Haven't you noticed the inverse correlation between family size and socioeconomic standing? Haven't you noticed the correlation between a mother's age and her first born, and socioeconomic standing? It's the stupid, ignorant people that are having all the kids they can't afford because the government will give them free housing, free food and free medical care. They don't care what the real cost is to raise a healthy normal child, they just see those dollar bills and a chance to get out of their mother's home. Why else would you have great-grandmothers in their 50's ? The War on Poverty and the Great Society programs are complete failures and nobody will stop them.
Your view is so American, it is laughable. In other countries, if you get into a top position and DON'T hire relatives and friends, and even friends of relatives, you are considered selfish and not a good family member. Is that corruption, or just a different way of looking at things?
I too have diabetes type 2. I have not felt pain or tiredness with my condition. However, prior to being diagnosed diabetic I was diagnosed with thyroid disease. Before I was treated for thyroid, I was exhausted all the time and some times had muscle pains. You might want to have your TSH levels checked. This might be causing your symptoms.
For me, no gift can top a gift of cash! I do not want something that someone 'thinks' I can use. I don't want something that someone thinks I would look good in. I don't want more stuff period. I like to pick out what I want, when I want it (something on sale in January, perhaps), or just put it in my bank account to pay future bills. A gift card to a store where I shop is almost as good. Not romatic or 'holiday spirited'? That doesn't bother me a bit. The best gift is one the receipient wants and/or can use, not what the giver wants to give.
The phrase "snow job" had a beginning when political district captains were able to hire their friends and supporters to shovel the streets after a snow storm.
Often they would simply lean on their shovels or put in two hours work for eight hours pay. My uncle owned a small shop in the Bronx. For a contribution of a couple of dollars, half a dozen men would clear the sidewalks in front of his store in a matter of minutes and thank him when finished. Corrupt, yes, but a benign corruption where the choice was yours and you benefitted from the transaction.
Same shop several years later... The city flunky who inspected scales comes in and explains that for $10 they need not waste the time of testing them.
The obvious chane is that at one point corruption was a tool to get more than you were entitled to, now it is a case of if you don't pay you will be harmed.
You can extrapolate that to all levels of Gov't.
Sunshine laws are the best way to control but you need newspapers to be strong enough to publish and prosecuters honest rnough to prosecute.
Comment was directed at Wilson. I guess I became too accustomed to having comment reply systems automatically place the "@"...
#First comment on the site
You know not what you are saying. At least here in Tijuana, where I currently live, they will not even accept bribes in pesos anymore. It's 50USD bills or higer. You have a nice shiny SUV (even if it's not new)? pay up! Even then you car might get towed, and you will have to pay even more in bribes to get it back because the cops will tell the guys at the impound lot you can be forced to pay up a bribe to get your car back.
Or you could just take the ticket, avoid paying any bribes, and then just pop to the equivalent of the DMV here and pay the fine.
Assets? Investments? 401k? A will? Since when is there any of that LEFT to divide? If you have any of those left post-divorce, you are beyond lucky. My ex-husband quit working a couple of years before I left and by refusing to work, demanded I support the household on my income alone until I was completely broke, then, knowing I couldn't afford a lawyer, took virtually everything of value and left me with all the mutual debt simply by refusing to sign the papers unless the terms were his way. Close joint accounts? Do it way before you separate, or at the very least, open your own individual accounts for everything possible and request to have your name removed from former joint accounts wherever possible. Don't take the word of your soon-to-be-ex; oversee all financial matters yourself and keep checking your credit reports every few months to make sure any creditors are not trashing you for your ex's debt (they WILL do that). No way to be too well-protected or prepare too far in advance. If you change employment or get a raise, ask for it to be direct-deposited separately into your new individual bank account. Not suggesting you hide assets or do anything illegal, just make sure your spouse can not access it before the case goes to court, and you have something saved up for your needs. Go apartment hunting, or job-hunting if you were a home maker. Take job skill classes NOW, on the net if necessary. You will need them, need every possible way to be more marketable to get by as a single-income household. Learn to sell on ebay and keep the income separate, I bought inventory wholesale that I already dealt with in business and retailed it on ebay for a significant portion of my income. Ebay saved my a$$ until I was able to relocate and re-train and stabilize my life a little bit. Don't be ashamed to furnish your new space with finds from Goodwill, friends, craigslist and freecycle.com. You can always give your friends their stuff back when your life stabilizes, so don't be ashamed to borrow that bed or microwave. The savings might be really important. If you have any suspicion of getting saddled with a tax debt, contact the IRS before you separate, and if possible convince your spouse to contribute equally to paying off any old joint returns. Establish a history of her making payments on it, so the IRS would have reason to enforce collection equally on both of you and not just you alone. As soon as you have worked out a theoretical budget on how much your new post-divorce life will cost, ransack the internet and the IRS web site for info on how to prepare a strategy to request an abatement of penalties and interest that you can enact as soon as the divorce is finalized and you are in reduced circumstances. My ex didn't pay taxes the first 2 years post-divorce, and when the IRS caught up with him, he started paying off the most recent bill first, leaving me stuck with the higher joint return. Needless to say, I have not received any of my tax refunds since the divorce - they are all applied to that old joint return, and although I have paid the amount of the original tax bill, the IRS refuses to sever liability, and keeps raising the total every year so it's as if I never paid anything. The first year post-divorce my income was $9000 (I lost my business the same year as the divorce and had to switch careers), yet the IRS gladly took the tax refund I worked for and applied it to my ex-husband's responsibility. Nor will the IRS give you the time of day unless you are represented by a lawyer; another reason to take care of IRS issues before going down to one income. No matter how much faith you have in human decency and common courtesy, and no matter how well you think you know your spouse, don't underestimate how far they will go to get everything and leave you nothing. You will be surprised to find how much the person can cost you by simply resisting, delaying and refusing to cooperate. My ex for example evades paying child support by remaining under-employed and frequently changing jobs, so I get to support my son AND have the privelege of paying 100% of the costs of delivering him for court-ordered visitation 150 miles away. I could get it legally changed if I could save enough of the transportation costs to afford a lawyer, or afford enough time off work to pester the Child Support Division to make the guy pay up. BTW you can't depend on state agencies to do their jobs either without constant pressure from you, so investigate now what you will need to know about child support enforcement and (in our case) getting kids health insurance from the state. Post-divorce you will likely have to work every waking hour to make ends meet and there will be no time to look into these things and follow up. You want out of the marriage and will give in order to get, then a surprising few months later you might find yourself having to choose between gas to get to work or groceries to make dinner for your little one when you get home, things you never thought in your life would ever come up, and at the same time be amazed that it's possible to be so busy all the time when you have to do everything yourself, and yet still know that getting out of a terminal relationship leaves you better off.
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I have worked behind a retail cash register for 30 years. Based upon my experience, I have no trouble believing he could pull this off. There are many, many times I have mistakenly handed someone change for a 10 instead of a 20 and they have walked off before I realized I mischanged them and called them back and gave them the correct change (it helps that I leave the cash on the till until the customer walks away, religiously).. It's because if you convey the transaction smoothly as if it's legitimate (which, if it's an honest mistake, you will believe it is legitimate), the person will often go along with it. As to how cashiers would give him change back in the video, the guy who was selling the fish would have given him change for a 20, which would have been his most common bill that he receives from a customer and which is close to the $18 purchase price. How distraction plays into this is that the more engaged your conscious mind is in attending to the novelty of someone keeping you distracted with conversation (and, in this guy Brown's case often changing the subject and interlacing phrases that double "subconscious commands"), the more the teller/cashier will rely on their rehearsed rote response, in this case paying out cash or giving change or just completing the transaction. When you handle cash tens of thousands of times over decades, you develop all kinds of "habits" (like giving change for a 20 as a reflex).
i second the guy who wrote in, whenever someone is acting over the top, or has a friend talking to you at the same time, is the time to stop and pay attention. I have been known to actually stop them with a "hold off" hand gesture, saying "just a minute, I need to stop talking to you for a second so I make sure I give you the right change"--stoppping the distraction. which makes it sound like it's for their benefit, when in reality I am focusing on getting it right for both parties' sake, particularly mine if I sense they are trying to get one over on me. Then you have to physically look at the bills and recount them, make sure you don't put their money in the till until they are out of the store, etc. Also you can make a show of counting the change out saying, "ok, you gave me a 20, here's 5, 10, and 10 make 20. OK?" and look them in the eye to get agreement and confirm that there is no misunderstanding or weakness of understanding on your part.
Kris H, what do you mean you've never heard of the border wall? It's a wall that the U.S. is building, on the border with Mexico. They're almost done building it where I live. The weird thing is that It's only 700 miles long, and has gaps in places. I think that when they start circulating the Amero, the U.S. is going to take down this wall, and sell it to Mexico. Then Mexico will put it on it's southern border.
I actually support the Amero. If we don't do this soon, the Euro is going to keep kicking our ass. Until recently, 1 Euro bought about 1.60 dollars. I'm thinking that the U.S. government has a Euro dollar exchange rate number that will force them to admit that there will be an Amero. I say that # may be 1 Euro = 2 Dollars. That Number may come quite soon becuase on january 1, 2009 the Euro is adding another country.
Also the real Union of South America already has plans for a common currency. If they beat North America to a common currency they may take the name Amero from us, and that would be very bad. There are Official plans for a middle eastern common currency called the Khaleeji starting sometime in 2010. There will also be a common currency called the Eco, for parts of Africa by December 1, 2009. Also Parts of Asia called ASEAN + 3, have plans for a common currency, but they haven't said when it's going to be available. So North America would need an Amero by 2010, or we would be one of the last common currencies.
My hair is a disaster. I'll be 41 in the next few days and when I was young, I was (operative word here is 'was') blessed with beautifully thick, straight and very silky chestnut locks. My first grays were thick and wiry and now the front area, where my bangs are, are these thin fly-away cotton like hairs that stick in all directions. The remaining grays continue to live in their wiry existence, despite the heavy conditioning I douse them with.
No. My grays are anything but attractive and while I still color my hair, my appearance is anything but youthful as well.
I've been to several professionals who even confess that my situation is hopeless. I thought perhaps a perm might at least force them into more tame looking ringlets, but those same professionals have said that this will not be.
I don't think natural gray suits me at all. The remaining "natural" colored hair is much darker than my original. I am very fair skinned, almost chalk white, and I am now repeatedly asked if I am Eastern European... which is strange given my Irish roots.
*sigh* I just wish I knew where to take the next step.
TigZoo.com is a pretty cool site. It occassionally has free stuff, too!
The recipe is great.
I used whole wheat flour and added a little bit of chopped spinach along with bacon.
yummie & easy!
Great tips and tricks from the post and comments! Will definitely try some out. I wrote a post for a cheap and easy pancake recipe a week or two ago. Once you know how to make this batter, it makes you wonder how IHOP can charge so much for pancakes.
The mentos explosion is always a good one as well. I saw this at momliving. Thanks for the fun read.
Actually Hanukkah starts December 21st. Plenty of time to organize gifts.
I love the idea of asking what people want. As adults we should all be able to handle the 'non-surprise but getting an actual gift we want'. I am pretty impossible to shop for and my mom called me this year and offered up an idea since she knows me but was worried whether or not I'd like it. She's getting me a bean cookbook and these amazing beans from Rancho Gordo (heirloom varieties). I was ecstatic - the perfect gift. And I'm glad she asked and now I get to look forward to getting them!
Tis me, the welfare mom again. While I've been derided on here for "taking advantage" of the system, I feel that I'm the kind of person that the welfare system was designed for. I'm educated, intelligent, capable. I did not plan on getting pregnant. I lived with my mother for 3 years through pregnancy, toddlerhood. Now, I live in public housing in a VERY expensive city. There is no way I could support a child in this town and be able to be present for her as a mother. I survive on food stamps and subsidized housing. Could I do better? Well, I worked as a bartender for 15 years before my daughter was born. Once I became a mom, I began to have misgivings about getting people drunk for a living, working the late late hours, plus, my post-baby-figure is not as lucrative as it was in years past. I think I mentioned in my original post that I am planning on going back to school in a few years to secure a job that will allow me to support my daughter and myself without public assistance. I am not taking advantage or abusing the system. As a resident in a public housing apartment complex, I see people who are truly abusing the system. My next door neighbor has 4 of her children living with her, who are from 3 different fathers.
She has several more who seem to come and go, bringing her total number of children to about 7. She is about my age, does not work (that I can tell) nor does her current husband. Those kids are the dirtiest little bundles of tooth decay you've ever seen. They are totally unattended and unparented. She and her family will never be off of welfare. Many of my neighbors are just like her. I, on the other hand, send my child to the best charter school I could find in this city, educate myself, don't let my child watch television (movies sometimes), am attentive to her and what she eats, etc. Yes, I don't want to work full time and have someone else raising my child. For now I am utilizing a system that IS prone to abuse, but I will not go on having children and using the welfare system forever. I am the best choice of welfare participant--I am using welfare for the time being so that I may get myself off of welfare.
But, Hey! Thanks for all the judgement!