I offer completely free installation of Wordpress. All in the spirit of the Wordpress community. Only ask for an optional small donation once done. Currently includes 10 must have plugins and 20 nice themes. Just click my name :)
My trigger is food. Not that I eat a lot and am overweight but I LOOOVE to eat out at dinners and lunch with friends and my girlfriend. It can be hard for me to not spend all of my weekly income on food. Great post by the way, I am loving your content
Great article...this one really hit home for me. When I'm sad and bored I shop. Even if I walk only two blocks to the store to buy a magazine, it's still emotional spending. I think one of my triggers is definitely bad weather. If I can't be outside playing sports or enjoying the sunshine, I don't know what to do with myself. Often, it results in shopping for a book, a new pair of shoes, or whatever I might come across. It's terrible...I know! But at least we're not alone. And putting the focus on the trigger is a very good idea. I will start working on ideas for things to do on rainy days that don't involve shopping.
How you handle it really depends on the state that you live in - renters have more rights in some states than in others. The article above has several links to resouces that can help you assess what your options are. Come to think of it, the post above really outlines what needs to be done: write a letter explaining which charges are bogus and why, as for proof of how much it cost her to do the "repairs", and be sure to CC a lawyer on all communications.
This isn't legal advice, since I certainly don't have the qualifications to offer any, but I personally wouldn't cash the check. I would ask for a new check with the full amount and return the old one to her as part of an agreement.
Where I came from, we breed goat for meat, milk and the skin. Goat's milk goes to health industries and turns into soap, cream etc. The skin is use to make kompang (a traditional musical instrument).
I'd love to use a PDR company, however after a recent hailstorm, my 1990 Sentra has oh, about 3 hits per INCH on it. With a book value of less than a grand, I can't really justify spending $50 per hit to bring out the dents. The hood alone would run me 3k. So, THANKS to the dry ice and compressed air tricks. Going to see if I can't at least minimize some of the damage to my little car.
I too have difficulty NOT buying Vogue and such, as I'm addicted to the quality of photography and artistry of clothes usually depicted. I too am compelled to get myself a new (cheap) handbag after leafing through an issue.
However I do not feel bad since I try to buy the mags only on season changes (april and september) and a couple of new hanndbags or shoes i do think i deserve despite my extremely frugal ways elsewhere, Go Andrea go!
I am in the same boat in that I don't sign up for the free magazine subscriptions or the free credit monitoring system because I am certain to forget to cancel them. While I personally do not participate in the 0% balance transfer offers from credit cards to earn a few extra dollars, I can understand why some people do it.
I really want people to know that the Wyndam Resort in Orlando on International drive is absolutely awful. DO NOT STAY THERE! The rooms are not clean and They smell musty and moldy. Also the TV's do not work most of the time. THey are scam artists with scam artists working in the lobby trying to get you to go to a bs time share so called "breakfast" for discounted Disney tickets...If you have 3 hours to waste and are willing to argue with people that can't take NO for an answer go ahead and stay there. IT is a scam!
As a non-milk drinker I am concerned with getting enough vitamin D. As I have had 9 basal cell cancers already, I am also concerned about getting too much sun. I do realize, however, that a certain amount of sun can be healthy. In your studies, just how much daily sun fulfills the vitamin D quotient for a pale face like me? I tend to go our before 10 a.m. or after 4 p.m. for 30-40 minutes at a time.
* Have a budget made up and don't spend over this amount.
* Have a list of items that you intend to buy and stick to it.
* Be wary of enticements like red-hot specials where an item is advertised in the store as reduced for the next 5 minutes or telemarketers saying that if you buy a product or service during this call they will include something else for free.
* Compare prices between sellers. You may find that someone is selling an item at 10% off and another seller is selling the same thing at a lower price and they're not having a sale.
* Compare items for price and quality.
* Examine the goods carefully. Are they exactly what you want. Sometimes packaging can mislead you about the actual quantity supplied.
* Keep all receipts.
* Check out the warranty.
I wish I had these ideas last week. I just thru out a pair of my GS's jean shorts he ripped in such a way they couldn't be mended.
I took a leg of a pair of jeans and made a draft stopper for my door. I cut a piece as long and wide as I needed leaving 1/4 inch for sewing. I used cat litter for the "stuffing". Nice weight to hold it in place.
Attributing things to me that I did not say or mean is a personal pet peve of mine. I absolutely DID NOT say that anyone who buys the iphone is selfish, materialistic, greedy, and morally corrupt. You made that statement; not me. (and then you vehemently defended yourself against it. very strange.)
To clarify my words (and in no way contradict myself), the iphone craze (among other things like celebrity idolization, designer clothing, hummers, etc) is a signpost, that is a symptom, an indicator, a pointer, of a serious spiritual crisis. You don't have to agree with the assessment, but given your over zealous defense of yourself, you may want to consider it.
The iphone is not essential. It is completely frivolous. (and all the justifications I've read so far about improving quality of life are totally weak.) Sure its cool, but why isn't ending world hunger cool? why isn't peace cool? if people gave as much time and thought into real problems as they do to coveting superfluous "gadgets", think of what we could do.
I rented a 3 bedroom house for 4 1/2 years. My landlord showed up when I was cleaning it and she seemed very pleased and said "I don't see any problems getting your deposit back to you". When I received the check just under the 31 days later, she had cut nearly half of the $1,100 deposit out for damages & cleaning. I, of course-being in a hurry and "in good faith" of her (stupid!) did not take pictures upon move out. Following is a list of what I think are contestable:
1) $15 for "stove pans", petty - come on, don't you replace those anyways. I threw the ones that were there away, and she charged me for replacing them.
2) $200 "cleaning", I swept, vacuumed, cleaned the appliances, bathroom, power washed the deck, swept/mopped & vacuumed out the window sills. She is claiming that I owe her $200 for "cleaning under appliances, dusting window sills & mopping under the stove/fridge". Also for cleaning the curtains, which she said she chose to "just replace because it was easier".
3) She charged me $100 for addition yard work, including trimming & hauling bushes that she told me was fine in the presence of a licensed arborhist that I had there doing the work.
4) She charged me $180 to clean the carpet, though she admitted that she just had it replaced. The new tenant said her daughter was sensitive to cats, swore she smelled cat-pee. The employment of a black light did not show any signs of pee. I own and use a professional grade steam-cleaner. I wouldn't mind being charged of course if she was going to clean it, but don't like to be charged for cleaning that DID not happen.
5) In damages, she listed "hole in carpet" that she charged me $100 for. Again, the carpet was replaced. Can she charge me for repairs not done?
And finally, I would like to know the best way to handle this & the time period I have to address it. I have not cashed the check she sent to to me for 1/2 of my deposit.
I agree that people are less susceptible to wild spending when their lives are emotionally fulfilling and stable, in general. Alas, I'm pretty happy with my life overall - good job, loving family, great friends... and yet I really, REALLY want to buy expensive shoes.
Online spending has always been a problem for me, but I don't frequent sites that link to clothing sales - rather, I like to read slightly snarky analysis of high fashion events through the New York Times, or blogs like Jezebel or Go Fug Yourself. I'm also quite taken with The Sartorialist's photos, although his writing certainly lacks a certain something. I think I enjoy the discussion of fashion as much as the fashion itself, and discussion is not fostered by traditional print magazines. In a magazine, style is dictated to you. Online, I feel like I'm participating in interesting debates about clothing (and yes, it's just clothing, but for many people, it's a way of expressing personal creativity) and gaining a much broader range of inspiration.
Shopping online is a problem for me, but that's because of eBay.
Great article. Marketing is pure evil, in my book.
I've made the point to friends that magazine advertising such as you describe here - as well as tv advertising - costs so much precisely because it works. It may work overtly, as it seems to do with you. Or it may work subliminally, raising one's overall level of covetousness about stuff in general. But work it does. Marketers don't pay for fancy and costly ad campaigns because they have nothing better to do. They do it because it make them money. And it makes them money because people exposed to advertising spend more money.
Most people I've had this discussion with have argued that while that may be true in principle, *they* aren't susceptible to advertising. I call BS. And I commend you for your honesty.
I gave up on TV and publications with ads because I knew myself to be in the same boat as you. But I have some good news to share. Fifteen years after giving up tv and glossy mags, I am now thoroughly repelled by and impervious to marketing. On the rare occasions I'm exposed to advertising, I have a weird sense of cultural alienation, as if I'm an anthropologist visiting a very strange society. I think it's a lot like shifting to a healthy diet after years of eating badly. A while after having made a change, the cravings just fade. Wholesome food is now genuinely appreciated and you wonder how you could ever have found that junk you ate before appealing.
So hang in there. If you cut that stuff out of your life, eventually you will probably reach a point of total indifference to it.
Congrats on both your level of self-awareness and your honesty in sharing your triggers. You're certainly not alone, but a lot more people are still in denial and rationalization. Whether it's fashion, family, work, eating, drinking or watever that is their trigger.
Emotional triggers do exist and you're smart enough and wise enough to not let yourself start up a cycle by removing yourself from a source. (Just like those with eating problems, there is no such thing as ONE chocolate, so they have to stop eating them. Period. You went cold turkey with fashion stimuli.)
I disagree a bit about women's magazines (perhaps you were only referring to fashion mags). I don't think they "exist" just to sell stuff. However, they do need advertising to pay for the publishing.
I think you may need to be careful about switching to the online world. You can easily get hooked on online shopping, as many people have.
Finally, it's not always about self esteem. But often about getting caught up in the society's "gotta have it" mentality.
Which exists and is certainly fueled by all types of media.
I have some very financially prudent friends who are extremely self confident and centered. They don't really have problems avoiding buying binges and staying focused on their big $$ goals. They feel loved and secure and they don't need "stuff." Of any kind.
They don't feel deprived or "less than" when they don't buy the latest clothes, electronics or don't eat out at expensive restaurants or take super luxury getaway trips.
They KNOW they are not their stuff.
And they don't need to take care of themselves by over-spending. Their enjoyment of life, not stuff, is their reward.
When your life is emotionally stable, stuff just doesn't have the same lure, even when you love clothes, jewelry, whatever.
Thanks for an article that asks people to stop, think and then, choose what is really best for their long-term financial security.
Wish there had been more of this type of material when I was in my 20s and 30s. I might have saved a lot more!
I need to raise $4,000 in 5 months for me to go on a missions trek to Japan. No idea how I am going to raise the funds. But this article was a great help. Thanks
Hi
Thanks for the nice posting about my jackets and the link! I found you thru TipNut and will certainly come back to see what other goodies you have.
Cheers
Mary Anne
This post is incredible and has sparked many ideas for me on how I can outsource things such as commenting, comment moderation, posting, emails etc. for my financial blog www.smarterwealth.net
Any ideas on how to successfully outsource for a blog?
I offer completely free installation of Wordpress. All in the spirit of the Wordpress community. Only ask for an optional small donation once done. Currently includes 10 must have plugins and 20 nice themes. Just click my name :)
Enjoyed your blog and after another pay cut-need to read this daily.
One thing that has helped me is promoting my passion-empowering girls (www.PrincessBubble.com) whenever I have a little extra time
I used to spend that spare time in Target or TJmaxx and always found things I did not need.
Impacting others last way longer than another kick knack!
Susan
My trigger is food. Not that I eat a lot and am overweight but I LOOOVE to eat out at dinners and lunch with friends and my girlfriend. It can be hard for me to not spend all of my weekly income on food. Great post by the way, I am loving your content
ciao.
I have see in your blog very very beautiful idea for recycled jeans..
many thanks
ciao
ciao
anna paola Italy
Great article...this one really hit home for me. When I'm sad and bored I shop. Even if I walk only two blocks to the store to buy a magazine, it's still emotional spending. I think one of my triggers is definitely bad weather. If I can't be outside playing sports or enjoying the sunshine, I don't know what to do with myself. Often, it results in shopping for a book, a new pair of shoes, or whatever I might come across. It's terrible...I know! But at least we're not alone. And putting the focus on the trigger is a very good idea. I will start working on ideas for things to do on rainy days that don't involve shopping.
All the best,
http://pushingthirtymydebtdeadline.blogspot.com/
How you handle it really depends on the state that you live in - renters have more rights in some states than in others. The article above has several links to resouces that can help you assess what your options are. Come to think of it, the post above really outlines what needs to be done: write a letter explaining which charges are bogus and why, as for proof of how much it cost her to do the "repairs", and be sure to CC a lawyer on all communications.
This isn't legal advice, since I certainly don't have the qualifications to offer any, but I personally wouldn't cash the check. I would ask for a new check with the full amount and return the old one to her as part of an agreement.
Where I came from, we breed goat for meat, milk and the skin. Goat's milk goes to health industries and turns into soap, cream etc. The skin is use to make kompang (a traditional musical instrument).
Cheers
My ideas for making money
I'd love to use a PDR company, however after a recent hailstorm, my 1990 Sentra has oh, about 3 hits per INCH on it. With a book value of less than a grand, I can't really justify spending $50 per hit to bring out the dents. The hood alone would run me 3k. So, THANKS to the dry ice and compressed air tricks. Going to see if I can't at least minimize some of the damage to my little car.
I congratulate you on your honesty.
I too have difficulty NOT buying Vogue and such, as I'm addicted to the quality of photography and artistry of clothes usually depicted. I too am compelled to get myself a new (cheap) handbag after leafing through an issue.
However I do not feel bad since I try to buy the mags only on season changes (april and september) and a couple of new hanndbags or shoes i do think i deserve despite my extremely frugal ways elsewhere, Go Andrea go!
I am in the same boat in that I don't sign up for the free magazine subscriptions or the free credit monitoring system because I am certain to forget to cancel them. While I personally do not participate in the 0% balance transfer offers from credit cards to earn a few extra dollars, I can understand why some people do it.
I really want people to know that the Wyndam Resort in Orlando on International drive is absolutely awful. DO NOT STAY THERE! The rooms are not clean and They smell musty and moldy. Also the TV's do not work most of the time. THey are scam artists with scam artists working in the lobby trying to get you to go to a bs time share so called "breakfast" for discounted Disney tickets...If you have 3 hours to waste and are willing to argue with people that can't take NO for an answer go ahead and stay there. IT is a scam!
Philip,
As a non-milk drinker I am concerned with getting enough vitamin D. As I have had 9 basal cell cancers already, I am also concerned about getting too much sun. I do realize, however, that a certain amount of sun can be healthy. In your studies, just how much daily sun fulfills the vitamin D quotient for a pale face like me? I tend to go our before 10 a.m. or after 4 p.m. for 30-40 minutes at a time.
- Jenny
When shopping I keep the following in mind:
* Have a budget made up and don't spend over this amount.
* Have a list of items that you intend to buy and stick to it.
* Be wary of enticements like red-hot specials where an item is advertised in the store as reduced for the next 5 minutes or telemarketers saying that if you buy a product or service during this call they will include something else for free.
* Compare prices between sellers. You may find that someone is selling an item at 10% off and another seller is selling the same thing at a lower price and they're not having a sale.
* Compare items for price and quality.
* Examine the goods carefully. Are they exactly what you want. Sometimes packaging can mislead you about the actual quantity supplied.
* Keep all receipts.
* Check out the warranty.
Hope this helps!
Sam
I wish I had these ideas last week. I just thru out a pair of my GS's jean shorts he ripped in such a way they couldn't be mended.
I took a leg of a pair of jeans and made a draft stopper for my door. I cut a piece as long and wide as I needed leaving 1/4 inch for sewing. I used cat litter for the "stuffing". Nice weight to hold it in place.
Dear Patrick in Dallas,
Attributing things to me that I did not say or mean is a personal pet peve of mine. I absolutely DID NOT say that anyone who buys the iphone is selfish, materialistic, greedy, and morally corrupt. You made that statement; not me. (and then you vehemently defended yourself against it. very strange.)
To clarify my words (and in no way contradict myself), the iphone craze (among other things like celebrity idolization, designer clothing, hummers, etc) is a signpost, that is a symptom, an indicator, a pointer, of a serious spiritual crisis. You don't have to agree with the assessment, but given your over zealous defense of yourself, you may want to consider it.
The iphone is not essential. It is completely frivolous. (and all the justifications I've read so far about improving quality of life are totally weak.) Sure its cool, but why isn't ending world hunger cool? why isn't peace cool? if people gave as much time and thought into real problems as they do to coveting superfluous "gadgets", think of what we could do.
I rented a 3 bedroom house for 4 1/2 years. My landlord showed up when I was cleaning it and she seemed very pleased and said "I don't see any problems getting your deposit back to you". When I received the check just under the 31 days later, she had cut nearly half of the $1,100 deposit out for damages & cleaning. I, of course-being in a hurry and "in good faith" of her (stupid!) did not take pictures upon move out. Following is a list of what I think are contestable:
1) $15 for "stove pans", petty - come on, don't you replace those anyways. I threw the ones that were there away, and she charged me for replacing them.
2) $200 "cleaning", I swept, vacuumed, cleaned the appliances, bathroom, power washed the deck, swept/mopped & vacuumed out the window sills. She is claiming that I owe her $200 for "cleaning under appliances, dusting window sills & mopping under the stove/fridge". Also for cleaning the curtains, which she said she chose to "just replace because it was easier".
3) She charged me $100 for addition yard work, including trimming & hauling bushes that she told me was fine in the presence of a licensed arborhist that I had there doing the work.
4) She charged me $180 to clean the carpet, though she admitted that she just had it replaced. The new tenant said her daughter was sensitive to cats, swore she smelled cat-pee. The employment of a black light did not show any signs of pee. I own and use a professional grade steam-cleaner. I wouldn't mind being charged of course if she was going to clean it, but don't like to be charged for cleaning that DID not happen.
5) In damages, she listed "hole in carpet" that she charged me $100 for. Again, the carpet was replaced. Can she charge me for repairs not done?
And finally, I would like to know the best way to handle this & the time period I have to address it. I have not cashed the check she sent to to me for 1/2 of my deposit.
I really appreciate any feedback.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
I agree that people are less susceptible to wild spending when their lives are emotionally fulfilling and stable, in general. Alas, I'm pretty happy with my life overall - good job, loving family, great friends... and yet I really, REALLY want to buy expensive shoes.
Online spending has always been a problem for me, but I don't frequent sites that link to clothing sales - rather, I like to read slightly snarky analysis of high fashion events through the New York Times, or blogs like Jezebel or Go Fug Yourself. I'm also quite taken with The Sartorialist's photos, although his writing certainly lacks a certain something. I think I enjoy the discussion of fashion as much as the fashion itself, and discussion is not fostered by traditional print magazines. In a magazine, style is dictated to you. Online, I feel like I'm participating in interesting debates about clothing (and yes, it's just clothing, but for many people, it's a way of expressing personal creativity) and gaining a much broader range of inspiration.
Shopping online is a problem for me, but that's because of eBay.
I don't know if it is evil. Just learn discipline. That is the magic word in martial arts and shopping and spending money. We have to learn to use it.
Relative? Think this term is overrated. It's called inflation.
The dollar is worth less and less everyday. Essentially instead of getting a raise your getting paid less everyday. Simple economics.
Great article. Marketing is pure evil, in my book.
I've made the point to friends that magazine advertising such as you describe here - as well as tv advertising - costs so much precisely because it works. It may work overtly, as it seems to do with you. Or it may work subliminally, raising one's overall level of covetousness about stuff in general. But work it does. Marketers don't pay for fancy and costly ad campaigns because they have nothing better to do. They do it because it make them money. And it makes them money because people exposed to advertising spend more money.
Most people I've had this discussion with have argued that while that may be true in principle, *they* aren't susceptible to advertising. I call BS. And I commend you for your honesty.
I gave up on TV and publications with ads because I knew myself to be in the same boat as you. But I have some good news to share. Fifteen years after giving up tv and glossy mags, I am now thoroughly repelled by and impervious to marketing. On the rare occasions I'm exposed to advertising, I have a weird sense of cultural alienation, as if I'm an anthropologist visiting a very strange society. I think it's a lot like shifting to a healthy diet after years of eating badly. A while after having made a change, the cravings just fade. Wholesome food is now genuinely appreciated and you wonder how you could ever have found that junk you ate before appealing.
So hang in there. If you cut that stuff out of your life, eventually you will probably reach a point of total indifference to it.
Congrats on both your level of self-awareness and your honesty in sharing your triggers. You're certainly not alone, but a lot more people are still in denial and rationalization. Whether it's fashion, family, work, eating, drinking or watever that is their trigger.
Emotional triggers do exist and you're smart enough and wise enough to not let yourself start up a cycle by removing yourself from a source. (Just like those with eating problems, there is no such thing as ONE chocolate, so they have to stop eating them. Period. You went cold turkey with fashion stimuli.)
I disagree a bit about women's magazines (perhaps you were only referring to fashion mags). I don't think they "exist" just to sell stuff. However, they do need advertising to pay for the publishing.
I think you may need to be careful about switching to the online world. You can easily get hooked on online shopping, as many people have.
Finally, it's not always about self esteem. But often about getting caught up in the society's "gotta have it" mentality.
Which exists and is certainly fueled by all types of media.
I have some very financially prudent friends who are extremely self confident and centered. They don't really have problems avoiding buying binges and staying focused on their big $$ goals. They feel loved and secure and they don't need "stuff." Of any kind.
They don't feel deprived or "less than" when they don't buy the latest clothes, electronics or don't eat out at expensive restaurants or take super luxury getaway trips.
They KNOW they are not their stuff.
And they don't need to take care of themselves by over-spending. Their enjoyment of life, not stuff, is their reward.
When your life is emotionally stable, stuff just doesn't have the same lure, even when you love clothes, jewelry, whatever.
Thanks for an article that asks people to stop, think and then, choose what is really best for their long-term financial security.
Wish there had been more of this type of material when I was in my 20s and 30s. I might have saved a lot more!
I need to raise $4,000 in 5 months for me to go on a missions trek to Japan. No idea how I am going to raise the funds. But this article was a great help. Thanks
Hi
Thanks for the nice posting about my jackets and the link! I found you thru TipNut and will certainly come back to see what other goodies you have.
Cheers
Mary Anne
This post is incredible and has sparked many ideas for me on how I can outsource things such as commenting, comment moderation, posting, emails etc. for my financial blog www.smarterwealth.net
Any ideas on how to successfully outsource for a blog?
I want to raise some fund for my blogging business so I can afford to start blogging part time (instead of in my spare time). Great post