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Apple iPad Pro 9.7" Tablets- Your Choice

The 9.7-inch iPad Pro display uses the same color space as the digital cinema industry.  That simply must include colors that I've never heard of.  I would like to pitch a few that are as of yet unnamed:

  • Pantstone - The color spectrum of faded chinos.
  • Spinky - The color of a cherry Pixie Stix dust right when it hits moisture.
  • Spurtple - The weird no-color of the interior of a blueberry when you squish it open. Gross.

Specifications:

Display:
9.7" LED-backlit Multi-Touch with IPS Technology
Fingerprint-Resistant Oleophobic Coating
Retina display
True tone display
Wide color display

UE BOOM 2 Bluetooth Speaker

UE BOOM 2 Bluetooth Speaker boasts a weatherproof outer shell, so it's perfect for the soundtrack to your mayonnaise fights. It's built on durable plastic for extreme stability for your helicopter parties. It has a durable, weatherproof exterior that's built to withstand the toughest elements Mother Nature can throw, so it's perfect for your The Perfect Storm reenactment festivals.

UE BOOM 2:

  • Speaker Features: Waterproof, USB Chargeable
  • Operating Compatibility: Android, Apple iOS
  • Wired Connectivity: USB
  • Includes: USB Cable
  • Battery required, included: 1 lithium ion non-universal
  • UE BOOM 2: 7.1 x 2.6 x 2.6 inches; 1.5lbs

In the Box (Factory Refurbished in Brown Box):

Samsung Curved Monitors

Ultra slim, with sleek curves, just like the mouthwatering [REDACTED] with a pair of [REDACTED] on in the summer sun.  Really makes you feel [REDACTED] [HR NOTE: This post has been highly edited by the HR department. Woot Writer, report immediately to mandatory sensitivity training.]

Display

Screen Size:
31.5"

Curvature:
1800R

Resolution:
1920 x 1080

Aspect Ratio:
16:9

Brightness:
200cd/m2

Static Contrast Ratio:
3000:1

Dynamic Contrast Ratio:
Mega ?

Foot, Pillow & Stick Massagers- Your Choice!

Better than going to a massage therapist, including:

  • No awkward conversation
  • No overpowering incense
  • No deafening windchime playlist

Cuisinart 8 PC. MultiClad Pro Cookware Set

Hey, it was the 90s, ok? And I thought I could pull off a 3-foot chain wallet, hemp choker, ripped up white hat, and a kilt.... I can't stress enough that I could not.

In the Box:

(1) Cuisinart MCP-8NW MultiClad Pro Stainless-Steel Cookware 8-Piece Cookware Set

Set Includes:

  • 2.5 Quart Saucepan with Lid
  • 4 Quart Saute Pan with Cover
  • 6 Quart Stock Pot with Cover
  • 8" Skillet
  • 10" Skillet

Woot Cellars Buzz Bru Whole Bean Coffee

Buzz Bru: The official coffee of people who make up "official coffee" designations and then hope no one takes the time to fact check the aforementioned designations. 

  • Coffee orders are roasted the day before the order is shipped.
  • Roasted & Packaged by Smokin' Aces Coffee Co
  • Whole Bean coffee

LG 65UJ6540 65-in 4K UHD Smart LED TV

Now if we named a TV, we'd have a little style with it. Examples of our genius below:

Kwikset SmartCode Electronic Deadbolt with SmartKey

Normal deadbolts can be picked, but in order to pick this lock you'd have to be like a robot or something and honestly if there are robots trying to break into your house you're probably done for already. 

In the box:

  • (1) Exterior Keypad
  • (1) Interior Assembly
  • (1) Latch
  • (1) Mounting Plate
  • (1) Allen Wrench
  • (1) Adapter Ring
  • (1) Strike
  • (1) Pair of Keys
  • (1) SmartKey Tool
  • Fasteners

Shark NV352 Navigator Lift-Away Upright Vacuum

An unstoppable killing machine that murderizes dust, gobbles up dust bunnies by the family, eviscerates those dried mud crumbles that fall off your husband's boots, and hunts down allergens with lethal intent... Man, sounds too scary for my apartment...

In the box:

  • (1) Shark NV352 Navigator Lift-Away Upright Vacuum
  • (1) Wide Pet Upholstery Tool
  • (1) Dusting Brush
  • (1) 5.5'' Crevice Tool

NETGEAR Nighthawk X10 Smart WiFi Router

The kind that would swing in on a CAT5 cable and rescue a damsel printer from certain death under the machinations of the evil Dr. Router Zero.

Specifications:

WiFi Speed
7.2 Gbps

Technology
802.11ac + 802.11ad

Number of Ports
Seven 10/100/1000 Mbps Gigabit Ethernet PortsTwo USB 3.0 Ports

Processor Speeds
1.7 GHz Quad-Core

Number of Devices
20+ Devices

Key Features
Plex Media ServerAmazon Drive Cloud BackupHigh Performance Active Antennas

 

In the Box:

  • NETGEAR Nighthawk X10 AD7200 802.11ac/ad Quad-Stream WiFi Router, 1.7GHz Quad-core Processor, Plex Media Server, Compatible with Amazon Alexa (R9000)