Stay single!
Seriously, the bestest valentines day I ever had was during college when my ex dragged me away from the books and we took a stress break/walk around the frozen lake on campus. It was also snowing really hard and about zero degrees outside but it was fun! and we also laughed at the people who were forced to drive out in the treacherous weather to justify their $100 reservations at the local restaurants. ha!
I make heart shaped pancakes for breakfast and pack heart shaped sandwiches for the kidlets. We've been known to have heart shaped hamburgers for dinner.
Many years ago I when i finally got off drugs and lived in a half-way house, I met a guy that claimed to live homeless for over ten years; by choice. He never mentioned anything about panhandling. What he did talk about fascinated me. This very intelligent, educated person had owned a home and worked in corporate America. He claimed to have made a conscious decision to not participate in what we would consider being a responsible member of society. His thoughts seemed to be that we were perhaps the crazy ones for pursuing a career where we have to devote our time to pretending to give a sh*t about a company that can openly not give a sh*t about us, working our asses off while our children are raised by others, and on payday giving all our hard earned money away to pay the bills, only to have to do it all again to get to the next pay day. I have to admit, that there is a part of me that agrees with his perspective. I believe he was in the half-way house, not to get off drugs or alcohol, but as part of his journey. His name was Patrick. I lost touch with him probably ten years ago. He had moved out of the halfway house and in with a lady who helped him start a cabinet building company (which was profitable). He was there for two or three years and then seemed to vanish again. I suppose there are those that would call him a parasite and a drifter. I'm not writing this to be judgmental. I'm writing this because I do believe there are lots of people that really see (and realize) the benefits of being a "bum." As I write this, I realize that homeless and bum are not interchangeable. "Bum" implies that one is lazy. Panhandlers are not lazy. My friend Patrick was not lazy, nor was he what I would consider a "bum." It takes considerable effort, on a daily basis, to be homeless and make it work for you.
This is fantastic! I've been wanting to know more about these, and you're right about people asking all the time about making money online. I'm looking forward to reading your whole article series. Thanks again for putting these together.
Go buy a bottle of nice-smelling oil, get a fire going, open a bottle of wine, and exchange full body massages. It's a wonderful alternative to chocolate/flowers/fancy dinner at a restaurant, it's romantic, and it's also incredibly relaxing.
When anyone tries to start a dialogue about homelessness from an "us and them" stance, it makes my stomach turn. I've been there, seven months pregnant. Now I'm fortunate to keep myself and my two daughters housed, clothed and fed every single day... but it took more than my own hard work to climb out of that hole. It was the common effort of several people who recognized how easily homelessness can happen to anyone, people I've thanked with more than just words.
I hope this is a joke and I'm missing the humor. I'd rather be force-fed some Paris Hilton all day long than huddled in the freezing night.
Good call on the simple division and anecdotal evidence, Shaun.
Having lived in NYC for 10 years, I found if you offer food, only about half the people take it, even though they all say they're hungry. Since I was pretty close to impoverished myself about five of those years, it made me very suspicious of peoples' stories. If someone had offered me an orange or a cup of coffee from a deli, I would have gladly taken it.
When I was really broke one year I went to to the dollar store with the few dollars I had squirreled away and bought a bunch of cutsy edibles, a box of kiddie valenines, and such. I left one on his pillow each morning with a little note written on one of the Valentines I bought. It let him know that I though of him everyday and made each morning special.
If you have already spent the money to have a mac, and a camcorder, you can give a perfect, and extremely inexpensive gift ~$1, by editing the footage of your loved ones into the perfect Valentine's Day Movie.
Or, you can win an iPod touch and give it to your sweetie. (Hint, Hint)
$4.6 million divided by 1000 is $4600, not "about $50,000." This fact invalidates the entire point of the quoted article, which otherwise relies on anecdotal evidence.
Last year I bought a simple v-day card and wrote every reason why I loved my gf. I do mean every possible reason, I took up the whole space on the card. She loved it and said that nobody else has done something like that before.
My aunt lived in her car for a year by choice, parking in fields and just travelling around.
she was also a mentally ill crack addict who killed herself though. So i would hazard a guess that most who choose to be homeless may have mental health issues, or, at the very least, extremely self destructive tendencies.
Sure, some people may 'choose' to stay in this life. but many abused people choose to stay with abusive partners. just because its a 'choice' on the surface doesnt mean we can shrug off the fact that in many cases, the choice has been made through lack of support or emotional health.
i understand the point of this article to a degree, but coming from a country with tons of homeless people (south africa) I am kind of sick of people using these very minor examples of homeless people 'doing well' off being homeless. these people are the exception that proves there is a rule - a rule that most homeless people live a life of near inhuman deprivation and instability.
I suppose my biggest worry is that this article will arm a small percentage of ignorant people with anecdotal evidence to suggest that homelessness is a choice and therefore not something that needs to be addressed. sure this wasnt the point of the article, but it may be interpreted that way.
Giving a personalize gift is both frugal and thoughtful. A creative picture or souvenir that the two of you share can be treasured for a long time. If you want to spend time outside, take a stroll somewhere scenic and have a picnic or homemade candlelight dinner. Romantic doesn't have to mean money! :)
Hi, I felt compelled to reply to your post - YES, I have a situation where people know that I have received a lump sum (my own fault, I TOLD them, "live and learn" hopefully..). I belong to a 12 step program and due to some serious mental & physical health issues applied for Social Security Disability 3 years ago. After being denied twice, the judge approved my Disability case & in addition to having a steady fixed income now (I am so grateful for this respite, many countries one simply starves if unable to WORK)I received a lump sum payment for retroactive months that added up to "a pretty penny." I have gottem myself completely out of debt (the first time in 2 decades I have no credit card balances), was able to have major car repair work done, repaid my parents for dental work, and it feels so wonderful to know that I am given this opportunity to address emotional/physical problems and to have good transportation and a decent roof over my head! ANYWAY, a person in the same 12 step program was someone I thought I could share all of this with, the nature of the "program" is befriending others who have been through similar rough spots in life - and she keeps bringing up specific "crisis" amounts of $ she "needs" for heating oil, overdrawn bank account, it never ends. I don't participate in discussing financial details with her anymore, and I'm polite & tactful about it, but it's CLEAR that she is ANGRY that I am not forking over lump sums to her. It's as if she thinks I've won this jackpot and it's money that "needs" to be SPENT - DISABLED, what part of that do people not understand, Ed McMahan didn't knock on my door and hand me a check, I've been thru some horribly traumatic events in my life that clearly have "contributed" to my eligibilty for Soc.Sec. Disabily criteria! She keeps making blunt remarks such as "people who have money have it becuz they are stingy and greedy"blah blah blah. I don't respond to these remarks and am getting better at letting there be an uncomfortable "pause" & she'll start rattling on about something else...it's obvious that she's needling me and I know there are many people that have similar situations, and get totally taken advantage of and milked/conned for money from these parasite type of people. I'm not "stupid", and I'm not far gone enough to warrant somebody else handling my financial affairs, but it sickens me that I feel compelled to actually LIE and tell people like her that I have put the lump sum in my mother's hands for safekeeping. She was asking of course when I got it, etc., etc., so I just told her that - it was soooo contrived the way she responded and said,"Are you SURE that's a good idea?" and I said "What?" (playing "dumb"), & she said "letting your mother handle your money?" Um, I told her, thx for her concern but yes, I am comfortable with the arrangement. I just can't believe the gall of people, I don't know why this should "surprise" me but it does help to write it out in a forum that touches on a subject that's been quite an issue for me the past 3 months. Thank you for "listening" and any feedback/suggestions is most welcome! Sincerely, Valerie
We lived cheek-by-jowel with lots of homeless people in san francisco's south of market district and i certainly wouldn't trade places with any of the folks i saw sleeping in doorways while I was on my way home from work. then again, in sf it is all about heroin so our huge homeless population there was mostly pretty bad off.
as a college student in Paris, I actually found myself envying some people I saw begging. I was barely getting by myself since I had no authorization to work; I'd gotten a job with some other no-work-permit folks selling sandwiches to taxi drivers at the airports. riding the metro to and from with my huge cart of sandwiches and drinks, I once saw a gypsy woman counting pounds and pounds of change she'd collected that day. I was kind of floored by all that money -- it was clearly a lot more than I was going to go home with and it made me kind of wish I had the nerve to just start asking people for it.
then there were the folks i offered sandwiches to on my way in from selling sandwiches. some who were begging accepted a sandwich, some took a look at my -- by the end of the day -- wilting goods and declined. it kind of made me mad because that was what _I_ was going to have for dinner, but it wasn't good enough for them.
In beijing, the beggars were just awful. they would usually have a child and sometimes the child would actually wrap his little arms around your leg. i found out that many beggars actually rented these kids from country families. at that point if i had any food on me or there was a restaurant nearby, i would give something to the child to eat -- and it always disappeared into their mouths in the blink of an eye.
Stay single!
Seriously, the bestest valentines day I ever had was during college when my ex dragged me away from the books and we took a stress break/walk around the frozen lake on campus. It was also snowing really hard and about zero degrees outside but it was fun! and we also laughed at the people who were forced to drive out in the treacherous weather to justify their $100 reservations at the local restaurants. ha!
I make heart shaped pancakes for breakfast and pack heart shaped sandwiches for the kidlets. We've been known to have heart shaped hamburgers for dinner.
Many years ago I when i finally got off drugs and lived in a half-way house, I met a guy that claimed to live homeless for over ten years; by choice. He never mentioned anything about panhandling. What he did talk about fascinated me. This very intelligent, educated person had owned a home and worked in corporate America. He claimed to have made a conscious decision to not participate in what we would consider being a responsible member of society. His thoughts seemed to be that we were perhaps the crazy ones for pursuing a career where we have to devote our time to pretending to give a sh*t about a company that can openly not give a sh*t about us, working our asses off while our children are raised by others, and on payday giving all our hard earned money away to pay the bills, only to have to do it all again to get to the next pay day. I have to admit, that there is a part of me that agrees with his perspective. I believe he was in the half-way house, not to get off drugs or alcohol, but as part of his journey. His name was Patrick. I lost touch with him probably ten years ago. He had moved out of the halfway house and in with a lady who helped him start a cabinet building company (which was profitable). He was there for two or three years and then seemed to vanish again. I suppose there are those that would call him a parasite and a drifter. I'm not writing this to be judgmental. I'm writing this because I do believe there are lots of people that really see (and realize) the benefits of being a "bum." As I write this, I realize that homeless and bum are not interchangeable. "Bum" implies that one is lazy. Panhandlers are not lazy. My friend Patrick was not lazy, nor was he what I would consider a "bum." It takes considerable effort, on a daily basis, to be homeless and make it work for you.
Roses and a hot massage will do the trick.
This is fantastic! I've been wanting to know more about these, and you're right about people asking all the time about making money online. I'm looking forward to reading your whole article series. Thanks again for putting these together.
Go buy a bottle of nice-smelling oil, get a fire going, open a bottle of wine, and exchange full body massages. It's a wonderful alternative to chocolate/flowers/fancy dinner at a restaurant, it's romantic, and it's also incredibly relaxing.
The PayPal dude is classic-- what nerve!
I would have to agree, while living in NYC for a few years several years ago, I got to see the same faces running the same scams day-in-and-day-out.
True, there are those who are truly needy, the vast majority are clearly making a lifestyle choice . . .
You can order flowers for Valentine's Day in January to be delivered in February for much cheaper than ordering just before Valentine's Day!!
Make a coupon book for your spouse with coupons ranging from hour long massage to candlelight dinner for two. The only limit here is your creativity.
You could even make a coupon book for your kids. You could include coupons for a special mommy and me day.
I did this one year for my dad for Father's Day when I was in college. He told me that it was the best gift he ever received.
When anyone tries to start a dialogue about homelessness from an "us and them" stance, it makes my stomach turn. I've been there, seven months pregnant. Now I'm fortunate to keep myself and my two daughters housed, clothed and fed every single day... but it took more than my own hard work to climb out of that hole. It was the common effort of several people who recognized how easily homelessness can happen to anyone, people I've thanked with more than just words.
I hope this is a joke and I'm missing the humor. I'd rather be force-fed some Paris Hilton all day long than huddled in the freezing night.
Good call on the simple division and anecdotal evidence, Shaun.
Having lived in NYC for 10 years, I found if you offer food, only about half the people take it, even though they all say they're hungry. Since I was pretty close to impoverished myself about five of those years, it made me very suspicious of peoples' stories. If someone had offered me an orange or a cup of coffee from a deli, I would have gladly taken it.
I prepare a candlelight warm bath with a tray of appetizers for my husband. He loves this once a year relaxing treat!!!
When I was really broke one year I went to to the dollar store with the few dollars I had squirreled away and bought a bunch of cutsy edibles, a box of kiddie valenines, and such. I left one on his pillow each morning with a little note written on one of the Valentines I bought. It let him know that I though of him everyday and made each morning special.
edit home movie footage into a movie
If you have already spent the money to have a mac, and a camcorder, you can give a perfect, and extremely inexpensive gift ~$1, by editing the footage of your loved ones into the perfect Valentine's Day Movie.
Or, you can win an iPod touch and give it to your sweetie. (Hint, Hint)
$4.6 million divided by 1000 is $4600, not "about $50,000." This fact invalidates the entire point of the quoted article, which otherwise relies on anecdotal evidence.
Last year I bought a simple v-day card and wrote every reason why I loved my gf. I do mean every possible reason, I took up the whole space on the card. She loved it and said that nobody else has done something like that before.
My aunt lived in her car for a year by choice, parking in fields and just travelling around.
she was also a mentally ill crack addict who killed herself though. So i would hazard a guess that most who choose to be homeless may have mental health issues, or, at the very least, extremely self destructive tendencies.
Sure, some people may 'choose' to stay in this life. but many abused people choose to stay with abusive partners. just because its a 'choice' on the surface doesnt mean we can shrug off the fact that in many cases, the choice has been made through lack of support or emotional health.
i understand the point of this article to a degree, but coming from a country with tons of homeless people (south africa) I am kind of sick of people using these very minor examples of homeless people 'doing well' off being homeless. these people are the exception that proves there is a rule - a rule that most homeless people live a life of near inhuman deprivation and instability.
I suppose my biggest worry is that this article will arm a small percentage of ignorant people with anecdotal evidence to suggest that homelessness is a choice and therefore not something that needs to be addressed. sure this wasnt the point of the article, but it may be interpreted that way.
Giving a personalize gift is both frugal and thoughtful. A creative picture or souvenir that the two of you share can be treasured for a long time. If you want to spend time outside, take a stroll somewhere scenic and have a picnic or homemade candlelight dinner. Romantic doesn't have to mean money! :)
Yeah you don't have to post under your full name. I just post under a user name.
Hi, I felt compelled to reply to your post - YES, I have a situation where people know that I have received a lump sum (my own fault, I TOLD them, "live and learn" hopefully..). I belong to a 12 step program and due to some serious mental & physical health issues applied for Social Security Disability 3 years ago. After being denied twice, the judge approved my Disability case & in addition to having a steady fixed income now (I am so grateful for this respite, many countries one simply starves if unable to WORK)I received a lump sum payment for retroactive months that added up to "a pretty penny." I have gottem myself completely out of debt (the first time in 2 decades I have no credit card balances), was able to have major car repair work done, repaid my parents for dental work, and it feels so wonderful to know that I am given this opportunity to address emotional/physical problems and to have good transportation and a decent roof over my head! ANYWAY, a person in the same 12 step program was someone I thought I could share all of this with, the nature of the "program" is befriending others who have been through similar rough spots in life - and she keeps bringing up specific "crisis" amounts of $ she "needs" for heating oil, overdrawn bank account, it never ends. I don't participate in discussing financial details with her anymore, and I'm polite & tactful about it, but it's CLEAR that she is ANGRY that I am not forking over lump sums to her. It's as if she thinks I've won this jackpot and it's money that "needs" to be SPENT - DISABLED, what part of that do people not understand, Ed McMahan didn't knock on my door and hand me a check, I've been thru some horribly traumatic events in my life that clearly have "contributed" to my eligibilty for Soc.Sec. Disabily criteria! She keeps making blunt remarks such as "people who have money have it becuz they are stingy and greedy"blah blah blah. I don't respond to these remarks and am getting better at letting there be an uncomfortable "pause" & she'll start rattling on about something else...it's obvious that she's needling me and I know there are many people that have similar situations, and get totally taken advantage of and milked/conned for money from these parasite type of people. I'm not "stupid", and I'm not far gone enough to warrant somebody else handling my financial affairs, but it sickens me that I feel compelled to actually LIE and tell people like her that I have put the lump sum in my mother's hands for safekeeping. She was asking of course when I got it, etc., etc., so I just told her that - it was soooo contrived the way she responded and said,"Are you SURE that's a good idea?" and I said "What?" (playing "dumb"), & she said "letting your mother handle your money?" Um, I told her, thx for her concern but yes, I am comfortable with the arrangement. I just can't believe the gall of people, I don't know why this should "surprise" me but it does help to write it out in a forum that touches on a subject that's been quite an issue for me the past 3 months. Thank you for "listening" and any feedback/suggestions is most welcome! Sincerely, Valerie
being single - I have nothing to buy! :)
This year I'm planning to do a small photo album or scrapbook for a Valentine's Day gift.
How about a homemade card, home-cooked meal, and a Netflix on the TV? The Perfect Valentine's Day for me and mine.
We lived cheek-by-jowel with lots of homeless people in san francisco's south of market district and i certainly wouldn't trade places with any of the folks i saw sleeping in doorways while I was on my way home from work. then again, in sf it is all about heroin so our huge homeless population there was mostly pretty bad off.
as a college student in Paris, I actually found myself envying some people I saw begging. I was barely getting by myself since I had no authorization to work; I'd gotten a job with some other no-work-permit folks selling sandwiches to taxi drivers at the airports. riding the metro to and from with my huge cart of sandwiches and drinks, I once saw a gypsy woman counting pounds and pounds of change she'd collected that day. I was kind of floored by all that money -- it was clearly a lot more than I was going to go home with and it made me kind of wish I had the nerve to just start asking people for it.
then there were the folks i offered sandwiches to on my way in from selling sandwiches. some who were begging accepted a sandwich, some took a look at my -- by the end of the day -- wilting goods and declined. it kind of made me mad because that was what _I_ was going to have for dinner, but it wasn't good enough for them.
In beijing, the beggars were just awful. they would usually have a child and sometimes the child would actually wrap his little arms around your leg. i found out that many beggars actually rented these kids from country families. at that point if i had any food on me or there was a restaurant nearby, i would give something to the child to eat -- and it always disappeared into their mouths in the blink of an eye.
I blog at www.shopliftingwithpermission.com.