I was just going through a similar experience, having participated in my church's Christmas Angel project-same idea, pick a card for an anonymous child (or senior) and bring them a gift. The card came with three suggestions of gifts, and instructions to get a gift valued $20-25 so kids in the same family would get equally nice gifts. I picked a kid who had a card with "new jacket (size 10 in misses for a NINE year old child), MP3 player, and Hannah Montana "stuff". First, I was annoyed that whoever wrote out the cards wasn't with it enough to realize that a coat or MP3 player isn't even near the $20 range. Then, I was annoyed that a kid would ask for an MP3 player, wondering how huge this needy kid was to where an adult sized jacket (or what the deal with that), and then I felt bad for feeling ticked off. I ended up buying Hannah Montana books, at least I could encourage reading.
A few years ago I helped distribute toys (like Toys for Tots) to needy families and I never saw such a sense of entitlement. The idea that beggars can't be choosers was certainly put to rest. Parents tried to take more than they were supposed to and all sorts of things went on. I didn't feel appreciated or that the donations (of time and gifts) were making any difference.
I'm usually the one defending the idea that not everyone who is needy is a welfare queen/king, jerk, whatever, but I understand why people think that. My dad grew up with two working parents barely in the working class, and was very clear about how self-sufficiency and not taking charity was a big deal. So I grew up with the idea that being needy/poor meant you should be humble...now I just feel conflicted about my own feelings/efforts to help who are supposedly or truly needy.
In the future I'm going to be very cautious about who I give to-I will still give, but I want it to go to those who truly need it.
Our community is definitely not a higher income bracket sort of place. The first year I had an iPod, I was the only one in town with one. (And I know this because people would say, 'you're the one with the iPod...').
I steer my kids away from high ticket items all the time. I even explained that this year Santa is on a tight budget because there isn't as much money in the world. They are super okay with that. Most of their toys have been eBay, thriftstore, on sale in the past. I find it interesting though, that I couldn't find a single kid on that tree in my price range.
We are doing a bunch of communal activities this year to help defray costs and giving where we can. But this idea of expecting that one should have expensive items is a bit ludicrous. It reminds me of the time after I couldn't afford to live in San Francisco anymore and was commuting. Two guys were yelling at me to give them change and I hadn't had my coffee yet. One said how expensive SF was and that he needed my money. I agreed that SF was expensive. "That's why I moved!" I yelled back. Why should I pay to support him to live in a town I can no longer live in?
>>We have a gift quota from Social Services based upon the size of our office. For example, for an office our size, we should be able to get gifts for 15 kids. That is $1500 at $100 each kid!<<
I love that BS concept. The assumption that an office gives you a quota about what you all can afford.
Gosh...
The angel trees in my home town don't have a specific wish on them, just age and gender and maybe a hobby eg a favourite sports team or "likes science".
I haven't found an angel tree in my new town so this year I opted for Child's Play, which links to amazon wishlists for Children's Hospitals. It was super handy cause I just added the items to my basket with the rest of my shopping and they got sent straight to the hospital.
I think I'll just give to the local foodbank with the rest of my Christmas charity money and not bother looking for an angel tree if that's the way they are going.
You saved me from really having to say much at all. Your comment was exactly my thoughts. Kids think Christmas is a time for getting their heart's desire, with no concept of the value of the dollar. We also need to remember that the kids are probably not told at the time of their "wishing" that they are indeed asking for charity. I know that our local charities send out forms or contact churches and have them do the asking. I doubt they preface their conversation to the children with, "Just so you know, your family is poor, and so anything you ask for will not actually come from Santa Clause. Because you are poor. So be realistic in your requests. Remember you are poor."
Our church always had an "angel tree" and I know that there are several in the town I'm currently living in. There is one in our college snack bar that is run by our Student Education Association. The gifts are all for needy kids and people from ABLE, our assisted living program for the mentally and physically disabled. Almost every one on there is something like "Gift Card for Wal-Mart/K-Mart for tolietries", clothing, "fun stuff", a Holiday Barbie... I flipped over almost every one of those cards and they all touched my heart. I eventually picked a 17 year old girl who asked for a shirt. I work at a nicer department store and between a sale, a coupon, and my discount got her a nice shirt for under $14. Not a single one of the gifts were for something outragous. Maybe it depends on the organization or the area.
I know when I used to work at K-Mart we were warned about people returning their kids' Christmas gifts for cash. We'd get very angry people when we had to give them Gift Cards for returns with out a reciept. It could be in many instances the 4 year olds asking for huge things were filled out by parents who are hoping to get the money for it by reselling or returning it. Or, it is like someone else said. They don't fully understand how much this stuff costs. If you don't have anything but you know other kids have it you might figure that people who make more money can easily afford these things. Advertising definately makes it seem that way...
I noted that Kmart's prices were generally higher than the discount drugstores I usually frequent. I just made sure I was really careful, and I did get some good deals -- most of which I donated to a "tent city," a food bank and the family we're buying for this Christmas.
My feeling is that it's like using coupons in general: Be careful you're actually getting a good deal, and don't use them to buy stuff you'd never buy otherwise.
I sure liked getting tuna for 19 cents, hand sanitizer for a dollar and a big bottle of shampoo for free. Then again, I can get deals that good in other stores, too.
Last year, I spent $500 giving the teenager on the Angel Tree all the things she wanted. It was really a stupid exercise. Poor kids don't need a freaking iPod.
I touched on this issue in a Smart Spending blog essay. Some people were outraged that children asked for expensive items. But as Jan noted, a lot of kids don't have any idea how much things cost. They say "iPod" because they see the people around them using them.
One reader who left a comment said her own kids would make a wish list that ran to a page and a half and included things that they knew they would NEVER get. But it's a "wish" list, so they put it down, just in case.
It's like this: If you can't afford to buy the expensive tech stuff, then pick a kid who just wants a board game. If there aren't any less-expensive toys being requested, then donate the money you would have spent to some other charity. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to mention to the volunteers that plenty of people can't buy this stuff for their OWN kids, so the children's parents can be given a heads-up next year to remind their kids to ask for some realistic stuff, too.
I also think there's a hint of paternalism in some of the complaints/outrage about this issue. Some "charitable" givers seem to think that needy kids should be satisfied with whatever they get. Which, in theory, they should. But remember: These are children. They don't always understand cost. They just want to see a gift under the tree.
As I see it, you have two choices: Give what you can afford with an open heart, or don't give at all. What you shouldn't do is judge these children: "Well, they have a lot of nerve wanting what REGULAR kids want. These are poor children! This is charity! They ought to be glad they're getting anything at all!"
We created a consumerist society and are raising these kids to become members of that society. We can't blame them for wanting what advertising and their peers say they should want.
I have also opted out of angel tree giving and replaced it with other forms of giving, such as food for the local crisis ministry, an urban crisis ministry, money to fund a Christmas party for families with foster children. I have definitely seen some requests that I thought were out of line. I have also been annoyed at some of the conditions placed by agencies, like banning items from a certain store (which I might frequent myself).
On the other hand, being needy shouldn't necessarily mean that someone shouldn't enjoy what everyone else at your school may have. And, sometimes, people can buy and then give cheap stuff that is barely serviceable.
I don't mind, though, funding grocery bills (for example, one mom asked for a grocery gift card as her angel tree gift one year), so that others may then have some extra spending money to use however he/she/the family would like. I would vote for having the bank place some restrictions or guidelines on what types of gifts recipients should request.
I did the same thing at Walmart in Columbus, OH. I finally found the one kid on the Christmas tree that didn't want something ridiculously expensive. I admire and want to help the child's parents who want to use this charitable time to get items that their child truly needs, and I am happy to help.
Margaret -- the part that really fascinated me was the fact that this tree was in a "Tiny bank. Tiny town. We all know each other."
I wonder about the "shame" quotient involved in giving/asking in a small town.
Did you see any names on the tree that you recognized? Do the needy take into account that by participating, they're kind of announcing their situation to the entire town?
I wonder if your (good) questions about the mentality/expectations of askers and givers should be qualified by the size of the town, and who are the potential participants in the gift asking/giving.
Thank you so much for the awesome advice. I recently bought a flower broach at Charlotte Russe for $5.50. Not a bad price.... but now I LOVE it and that was the only one they had. I looked into making my own, but didn't know what to do since I knew it had to be flat on the back. Your advice was GREAT! I can't wait to run to the store and make a zillion of them! Forget Nordstroms!
Our local organization must have done a more thorough job of screening this year because gift requests were much more reasonable and appropriate to the age of the giftee. And that's it for me. It's not the cost of it that bothers me; it's the appropriateness. I can absolutely understand a youngster wanting a bicycle or inline skates or something of that nature, but when 2 year olds are asking for digital cameras, something's wrong.
Btw, I took two angels this year: an 18 month old whose tag requested "a soft doll" and some clothes (total-$25), and a senior citizen who requested Windsong perfume and socks (total-$30.)
We have pared down as we have gotten older, the kids are grown and the grandkids are far awy and growing. I made Christmas today with one box...ONE BOX, and it took less than an hour. Husband was delighted when he got home to see Christmas done and I am happy to have such an easy time of it. Small tree, manger scene, candles and lights. Enough!
Its too bad that the kids are asked to pick a gift. Most have no idea of cost. I had foster kids and they didn't have a clue about gifts but often asked for very pricey things. In the end they were happy with what they got.
I used to choose a child the same age as my son and buy a pair of jeans, a long sleeved shirt, a few small (Dollar Store) art supplies, and one small toy. In my mind, if I was a kid facing a Christmas with no gifts this would seem like a lot, and it would help the parent(s) with things that they would need (like clothes) as well. However the last few years the "requests" have changed to video game systems and other expensive stuff - stuff that I can't afford for my own kid, and it put me off on the whole thing. In my mind, if you are needy enough to be included in the tree program you should be happy with what you get, and not be so greedy with your requests. I now focus on knitting hats, mittens, and scarves for the homeless and/or elderly, but ever time I pass those awful trees I feel resentful that people can be so greedy.
We are restricted to only purchasing a gift from the child's wishlist. Then, we have to circle the gift on the wishlist and stick the wishlist as a gift tag on the gift. And everything is over a $100. Even a 8 month old baby was asking for an ipod. Shouldn't the parents be asking for baby formula or diapers?
Every year it gets harder and harder for my office to get people to take on more kids. We have a gift quota from Social Services based upon the size of our office. For example, for an office our size, we should be able to get gifts for 15 kids. That is $1500 at $100 each kid! And some gifts require all the safety gear. So if a kid is asking for a bike, that means a bike, helmet, and bike lock. It would take several people pooling their money in order to get one gift.
That is why I only donate to the Toys for Tots gift drive because I can spend $100 on board games and dolls at Walmart and know that I am providing gifts for at least 5-6 kids versus one.
If I were the needy kids' parent, then I'd probably ask them to ask big and then sell their gift for some money. Seriously, they should just straight up ask for money if they're really needy. If you get an iPod you'll need to buy songs for it all the time, and it's not frugal at all.
I went shopping with my aunts and my mom, who were shopping for clothing for a family in a battered women's shelter. I was there for the socializing, not to shop. But the department store had a tree like the one you mention, sponsored by the local chapter of the Boys' and Girls' Club. There were the little paper ornaments you mentioned, with the names, ages, and desired gift of the kids. I did see one mp3 player. But I also saw that a 10-year-old girl wanted a purse. An 8-year-old boy wanted a watch. And a 10-year-old boy wanted a board game.
I bought the boy a board game. The ornament entitled the buyer to an extra discount at the register. After all was said and done, I was out $6 for that gift, and I didn't even have to wrap it. A kid asking for a board game isn't asking for much, in my opinion. And I was happy to get it for him. My mom and aunts went way overboard for the three kids and battered mom, as usual. They do that every year.
Yeah, the only reason I still have a cell is because I was able to get onto my parents' plan as a part of a family plan. $5 per month as opposed to $67. Tracfones, though, are a blessing, and I see no reason to get a cell phone if you don't need one.
However, if you are a single person with an active social life in the city, well, then hey, a cell phone can come in mighty handy. Especially if you are as prone to getting completely lost as I am.
We've always tried to buy from our church lists with the list of kids needing new school clothes and supplies and Christmas gifts rolls around. But we just can't afford the requests for designer jeans, expensive athletic shoes or XBoxes that are on most of the lists. We're smack dab in the middle class and often scraping by.
Instead, we sponsor a child in Ecuador. Every month, we pay to help her go to school, buy her clothes and get her medical care. We'd like to add a child from Haiti too. I'd rather spend my extra cash there than on expensive toys for my kids or any American kids. I'm not against giving a small toy to a needy child. I was a child who grew up getting those donations. But even our American poor are rich by most of the world's standards, and we all need to be remember that.
I help moderate a local Freecycle group and I can tell you it isn't just the kids. I have seen parents with an unbelievable sense of entitlement and zero shame asking total strangers to give them things simply by claiming they are needy. The requests were not simple ones either, they were big ticket or requests for everything including a tree, food and expensive gifts.
Since sob stories and charity requests are not allowed on the group we rejected the messages and this was after an admin was posted reminding people that Freecycle is not a charity and it had a long list of all the local resources for food, gifts for kids and other holiday gear that have been arranged in the community.
It really soured me on the whole holiday idea of helping the supposedly needy in town not to mention wondering who is really in need of something and who is just a con artist.
Someone doing the tree at the bank really should have been involved in the requests. The gift tree at the mall nearby just has gender and age so the person knows what type of gift to buy. I'm also pretty sure they make sure people are actually in some sort of need before they can sign up to be on the tree.
But as far as those requests, my kids don't have those things, why would I go buy them for someone elses?
I was just going through a similar experience, having participated in my church's Christmas Angel project-same idea, pick a card for an anonymous child (or senior) and bring them a gift. The card came with three suggestions of gifts, and instructions to get a gift valued $20-25 so kids in the same family would get equally nice gifts. I picked a kid who had a card with "new jacket (size 10 in misses for a NINE year old child), MP3 player, and Hannah Montana "stuff". First, I was annoyed that whoever wrote out the cards wasn't with it enough to realize that a coat or MP3 player isn't even near the $20 range. Then, I was annoyed that a kid would ask for an MP3 player, wondering how huge this needy kid was to where an adult sized jacket (or what the deal with that), and then I felt bad for feeling ticked off. I ended up buying Hannah Montana books, at least I could encourage reading.
A few years ago I helped distribute toys (like Toys for Tots) to needy families and I never saw such a sense of entitlement. The idea that beggars can't be choosers was certainly put to rest. Parents tried to take more than they were supposed to and all sorts of things went on. I didn't feel appreciated or that the donations (of time and gifts) were making any difference.
I'm usually the one defending the idea that not everyone who is needy is a welfare queen/king, jerk, whatever, but I understand why people think that. My dad grew up with two working parents barely in the working class, and was very clear about how self-sufficiency and not taking charity was a big deal. So I grew up with the idea that being needy/poor meant you should be humble...now I just feel conflicted about my own feelings/efforts to help who are supposedly or truly needy.
In the future I'm going to be very cautious about who I give to-I will still give, but I want it to go to those who truly need it.
Our culture/society conditions us to feel we're entitled to whatever we want: an iPod, an SUV, a flat screen HDTV, a $500,000 house, etc.
Can't afford it? Buy it on credit. "Just Do It." You won't have self esteem if you don't have things.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_ut93YYZu8
Our community is definitely not a higher income bracket sort of place. The first year I had an iPod, I was the only one in town with one. (And I know this because people would say, 'you're the one with the iPod...').
I steer my kids away from high ticket items all the time. I even explained that this year Santa is on a tight budget because there isn't as much money in the world. They are super okay with that. Most of their toys have been eBay, thriftstore, on sale in the past. I find it interesting though, that I couldn't find a single kid on that tree in my price range.
We are doing a bunch of communal activities this year to help defray costs and giving where we can. But this idea of expecting that one should have expensive items is a bit ludicrous. It reminds me of the time after I couldn't afford to live in San Francisco anymore and was commuting. Two guys were yelling at me to give them change and I hadn't had my coffee yet. One said how expensive SF was and that he needed my money. I agreed that SF was expensive. "That's why I moved!" I yelled back. Why should I pay to support him to live in a town I can no longer live in?
I feel the same way in this circumstance.
Margaret Garcia-Couoh
>>We have a gift quota from Social Services based upon the size of our office. For example, for an office our size, we should be able to get gifts for 15 kids. That is $1500 at $100 each kid!<<
I love that BS concept. The assumption that an office gives you a quota about what you all can afford.
Gosh...
The angel trees in my home town don't have a specific wish on them, just age and gender and maybe a hobby eg a favourite sports team or "likes science".
I haven't found an angel tree in my new town so this year I opted for Child's Play, which links to amazon wishlists for Children's Hospitals. It was super handy cause I just added the items to my basket with the rest of my shopping and they got sent straight to the hospital.
I think I'll just give to the local foodbank with the rest of my Christmas charity money and not bother looking for an angel tree if that's the way they are going.
You saved me from really having to say much at all. Your comment was exactly my thoughts. Kids think Christmas is a time for getting their heart's desire, with no concept of the value of the dollar. We also need to remember that the kids are probably not told at the time of their "wishing" that they are indeed asking for charity. I know that our local charities send out forms or contact churches and have them do the asking. I doubt they preface their conversation to the children with, "Just so you know, your family is poor, and so anything you ask for will not actually come from Santa Clause. Because you are poor. So be realistic in your requests. Remember you are poor."
Linsey Knerl
Our church always had an "angel tree" and I know that there are several in the town I'm currently living in. There is one in our college snack bar that is run by our Student Education Association. The gifts are all for needy kids and people from ABLE, our assisted living program for the mentally and physically disabled. Almost every one on there is something like "Gift Card for Wal-Mart/K-Mart for tolietries", clothing, "fun stuff", a Holiday Barbie... I flipped over almost every one of those cards and they all touched my heart. I eventually picked a 17 year old girl who asked for a shirt. I work at a nicer department store and between a sale, a coupon, and my discount got her a nice shirt for under $14. Not a single one of the gifts were for something outragous. Maybe it depends on the organization or the area.
I know when I used to work at K-Mart we were warned about people returning their kids' Christmas gifts for cash. We'd get very angry people when we had to give them Gift Cards for returns with out a reciept. It could be in many instances the 4 year olds asking for huge things were filled out by parents who are hoping to get the money for it by reselling or returning it. Or, it is like someone else said. They don't fully understand how much this stuff costs. If you don't have anything but you know other kids have it you might figure that people who make more money can easily afford these things. Advertising definately makes it seem that way...
I noted that Kmart's prices were generally higher than the discount drugstores I usually frequent. I just made sure I was really careful, and I did get some good deals -- most of which I donated to a "tent city," a food bank and the family we're buying for this Christmas.
My feeling is that it's like using coupons in general: Be careful you're actually getting a good deal, and don't use them to buy stuff you'd never buy otherwise.
I sure liked getting tuna for 19 cents, hand sanitizer for a dollar and a big bottle of shampoo for free. Then again, I can get deals that good in other stores, too.
Last year, I spent $500 giving the teenager on the Angel Tree all the things she wanted. It was really a stupid exercise. Poor kids don't need a freaking iPod.
This year, I did meals on wheels.
I touched on this issue in a Smart Spending blog essay. Some people were outraged that children asked for expensive items. But as Jan noted, a lot of kids don't have any idea how much things cost. They say "iPod" because they see the people around them using them.
One reader who left a comment said her own kids would make a wish list that ran to a page and a half and included things that they knew they would NEVER get. But it's a "wish" list, so they put it down, just in case.
It's like this: If you can't afford to buy the expensive tech stuff, then pick a kid who just wants a board game. If there aren't any less-expensive toys being requested, then donate the money you would have spent to some other charity. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to mention to the volunteers that plenty of people can't buy this stuff for their OWN kids, so the children's parents can be given a heads-up next year to remind their kids to ask for some realistic stuff, too.
I also think there's a hint of paternalism in some of the complaints/outrage about this issue. Some "charitable" givers seem to think that needy kids should be satisfied with whatever they get. Which, in theory, they should. But remember: These are children. They don't always understand cost. They just want to see a gift under the tree.
As I see it, you have two choices: Give what you can afford with an open heart, or don't give at all. What you shouldn't do is judge these children: "Well, they have a lot of nerve wanting what REGULAR kids want. These are poor children! This is charity! They ought to be glad they're getting anything at all!"
We created a consumerist society and are raising these kids to become members of that society. We can't blame them for wanting what advertising and their peers say they should want.
I have also opted out of angel tree giving and replaced it with other forms of giving, such as food for the local crisis ministry, an urban crisis ministry, money to fund a Christmas party for families with foster children. I have definitely seen some requests that I thought were out of line. I have also been annoyed at some of the conditions placed by agencies, like banning items from a certain store (which I might frequent myself).
On the other hand, being needy shouldn't necessarily mean that someone shouldn't enjoy what everyone else at your school may have. And, sometimes, people can buy and then give cheap stuff that is barely serviceable.
I don't mind, though, funding grocery bills (for example, one mom asked for a grocery gift card as her angel tree gift one year), so that others may then have some extra spending money to use however he/she/the family would like. I would vote for having the bank place some restrictions or guidelines on what types of gifts recipients should request.
I did the same thing at Walmart in Columbus, OH. I finally found the one kid on the Christmas tree that didn't want something ridiculously expensive. I admire and want to help the child's parents who want to use this charitable time to get items that their child truly needs, and I am happy to help.
Margaret -- the part that really fascinated me was the fact that this tree was in a "Tiny bank. Tiny town. We all know each other."
I wonder about the "shame" quotient involved in giving/asking in a small town.
Did you see any names on the tree that you recognized? Do the needy take into account that by participating, they're kind of announcing their situation to the entire town?
I wonder if your (good) questions about the mentality/expectations of askers and givers should be qualified by the size of the town, and who are the potential participants in the gift asking/giving.
Great post. Got me thinking.... :)
Thank you so much for the awesome advice. I recently bought a flower broach at Charlotte Russe for $5.50. Not a bad price.... but now I LOVE it and that was the only one they had. I looked into making my own, but didn't know what to do since I knew it had to be flat on the back. Your advice was GREAT! I can't wait to run to the store and make a zillion of them! Forget Nordstroms!
Our local organization must have done a more thorough job of screening this year because gift requests were much more reasonable and appropriate to the age of the giftee. And that's it for me. It's not the cost of it that bothers me; it's the appropriateness. I can absolutely understand a youngster wanting a bicycle or inline skates or something of that nature, but when 2 year olds are asking for digital cameras, something's wrong.
Btw, I took two angels this year: an 18 month old whose tag requested "a soft doll" and some clothes (total-$25), and a senior citizen who requested Windsong perfume and socks (total-$30.)
We have pared down as we have gotten older, the kids are grown and the grandkids are far awy and growing. I made Christmas today with one box...ONE BOX, and it took less than an hour. Husband was delighted when he got home to see Christmas done and I am happy to have such an easy time of it. Small tree, manger scene, candles and lights. Enough!
Its too bad that the kids are asked to pick a gift. Most have no idea of cost. I had foster kids and they didn't have a clue about gifts but often asked for very pricey things. In the end they were happy with what they got.
I used to choose a child the same age as my son and buy a pair of jeans, a long sleeved shirt, a few small (Dollar Store) art supplies, and one small toy. In my mind, if I was a kid facing a Christmas with no gifts this would seem like a lot, and it would help the parent(s) with things that they would need (like clothes) as well. However the last few years the "requests" have changed to video game systems and other expensive stuff - stuff that I can't afford for my own kid, and it put me off on the whole thing. In my mind, if you are needy enough to be included in the tree program you should be happy with what you get, and not be so greedy with your requests. I now focus on knitting hats, mittens, and scarves for the homeless and/or elderly, but ever time I pass those awful trees I feel resentful that people can be so greedy.
We are restricted to only purchasing a gift from the child's wishlist. Then, we have to circle the gift on the wishlist and stick the wishlist as a gift tag on the gift. And everything is over a $100. Even a 8 month old baby was asking for an ipod. Shouldn't the parents be asking for baby formula or diapers?
Every year it gets harder and harder for my office to get people to take on more kids. We have a gift quota from Social Services based upon the size of our office. For example, for an office our size, we should be able to get gifts for 15 kids. That is $1500 at $100 each kid! And some gifts require all the safety gear. So if a kid is asking for a bike, that means a bike, helmet, and bike lock. It would take several people pooling their money in order to get one gift.
That is why I only donate to the Toys for Tots gift drive because I can spend $100 on board games and dolls at Walmart and know that I am providing gifts for at least 5-6 kids versus one.
If I were the needy kids' parent, then I'd probably ask them to ask big and then sell their gift for some money. Seriously, they should just straight up ask for money if they're really needy. If you get an iPod you'll need to buy songs for it all the time, and it's not frugal at all.
I went shopping with my aunts and my mom, who were shopping for clothing for a family in a battered women's shelter. I was there for the socializing, not to shop. But the department store had a tree like the one you mention, sponsored by the local chapter of the Boys' and Girls' Club. There were the little paper ornaments you mentioned, with the names, ages, and desired gift of the kids. I did see one mp3 player. But I also saw that a 10-year-old girl wanted a purse. An 8-year-old boy wanted a watch. And a 10-year-old boy wanted a board game.
I bought the boy a board game. The ornament entitled the buyer to an extra discount at the register. After all was said and done, I was out $6 for that gift, and I didn't even have to wrap it. A kid asking for a board game isn't asking for much, in my opinion. And I was happy to get it for him. My mom and aunts went way overboard for the three kids and battered mom, as usual. They do that every year.
Yeah, the only reason I still have a cell is because I was able to get onto my parents' plan as a part of a family plan. $5 per month as opposed to $67. Tracfones, though, are a blessing, and I see no reason to get a cell phone if you don't need one.
However, if you are a single person with an active social life in the city, well, then hey, a cell phone can come in mighty handy. Especially if you are as prone to getting completely lost as I am.
if you dont like the taste of the moonshine like it has too much kick or something could you distill it more than once to make it taste better?
We've always tried to buy from our church lists with the list of kids needing new school clothes and supplies and Christmas gifts rolls around. But we just can't afford the requests for designer jeans, expensive athletic shoes or XBoxes that are on most of the lists. We're smack dab in the middle class and often scraping by.
Instead, we sponsor a child in Ecuador. Every month, we pay to help her go to school, buy her clothes and get her medical care. We'd like to add a child from Haiti too. I'd rather spend my extra cash there than on expensive toys for my kids or any American kids. I'm not against giving a small toy to a needy child. I was a child who grew up getting those donations. But even our American poor are rich by most of the world's standards, and we all need to be remember that.
I help moderate a local Freecycle group and I can tell you it isn't just the kids. I have seen parents with an unbelievable sense of entitlement and zero shame asking total strangers to give them things simply by claiming they are needy. The requests were not simple ones either, they were big ticket or requests for everything including a tree, food and expensive gifts.
Since sob stories and charity requests are not allowed on the group we rejected the messages and this was after an admin was posted reminding people that Freecycle is not a charity and it had a long list of all the local resources for food, gifts for kids and other holiday gear that have been arranged in the community.
It really soured me on the whole holiday idea of helping the supposedly needy in town not to mention wondering who is really in need of something and who is just a con artist.
Someone doing the tree at the bank really should have been involved in the requests. The gift tree at the mall nearby just has gender and age so the person knows what type of gift to buy. I'm also pretty sure they make sure people are actually in some sort of need before they can sign up to be on the tree.
But as far as those requests, my kids don't have those things, why would I go buy them for someone elses?