1) If you have enough friends/family with baby hand-me-downs, you probably won't ever have to actually buy most clothes.
2) About 1/2 of our kids loved the swing. The other 1/2 were indifferent. We got an old, metal, battery-powered swing 2nd hand, and it was great.
3) We did cloth diapers. Saved an enormous amount of money and, really, wasn't that much worse than disposables. Yeah, you've gotta dunk 'em, but if you're breastfeeding, the poo doesn't smell and it's not a terrible chore. We bought a dry pail that had a place for deodorizing discs in the lid. Kept it in the bathroom for 9 years, and used the SAME set of cloth diapers on all our children! We did use disposables, too, mainly when we were going out for extended periods or on vacation. BONUS: When the kids are older, the bulkiness of cloth diapers are a strong incentive for them to potty train.
4) We did a lot of changing the baby on the floor, but we also had a 2nd hand changing table that was WONDERFUL. That's where we kept all the supplies (handy-dandy), and, for the younger kids, it was nice to be able to stand upright (we're getting old). Also, with multiple children, it can be hard sometimes to find a clear baby-sized space on the floor when you need.
5)Baby Shoes - our pediatrician warned us against putting the baby in shoes before he was walking for orthopaedic reasons. We had a nice pair of soft-soled shoes for dress-up occasions, but that was it.
All you really NEED for a newborn are sleepers, some light blankets for swaddling, diapers & wipes of some kind, and a comfortable place to sit while nursing. And some kind of carrier/stroller, and a car seat. And baby wash and nail nippers. And if it's *my* baby, a prescription for Zantac and a dozen or so bibs.
1. Too many tiny baby clothes - So true. You really only need a half-dozen sleepers and another half-dozen outfits. But baby clothes are so cute, nobody sticks to that.
2. Baby shoes - until they're walking, they can wear socks, unless it's cold and they're going outside.
3. "Educational" DVDs for babies - waste of money, although my 5-year-old used to watch Baby Einstein DVDs to get to sleep.
4. Changing table - they make $20 "changing pads" that you can attach to the top of a dresser. We've been using ours for 5.5 years now, so it was a great investment, even if you factor in 3 $10 terrycloth covers.
5. Wipe warmer - you can scrunch the wipe in your hand for a few seconds to warm it up if the coldness bothers your baby.
6. Nursery decoration - cute, but a total waste of money, given how fast they grow.
7. Swing - not needed, except when it is. Our first baby never swung. Second baby - lifesaver. Some babies just love being in motion, and if they can't swing, they expect YOU to provide it.
8. WhyCry Baby Crying Analyzer - no comment.
9. Diaper Genie - when you're taking care of a newborn, you don't have time to make a special trip outside 10 times a day, which is approximately how often they poop. But a Diaper Champ or other sealed waste receptacle that uses regular garbage bags is more economical than the Diaper Genie. Both will eventually stink, because that's what happens when you mix plastic with poop.
I also disagree about the wipe warmer. When baby wakes up for that 2am feeding and you change her before putting her back down...a cold (room temp) wipes wakes them RIGHT UP. A warm one let them stay half asleep and continue to fall asleep.
Guess it would depend on how easy your baby gets shocked by the temp. I know for my kids it guaranteed I got to go back to bed...and I was every sorry any time I didn't have it!
I have to agree on everything except the diaper genie. I guess it depends on your living conditions but in a high rise condo there is no "outside trash" that is easy to get to. I found the diaper genie contained odors well as long as you emptied it out every 2 or 3 days. I could see that this would be a waste if you lived in a home or somewhere you could easily/quickly access an outside trash bin.
My son out grew the swing gifted to me before he was 4 months. He enjoyed the swing greatly but he was simply too big.
I never did a crib - he stayed in a baby safe room (very clean carpet, capped outlets & no furniture) with a mattress on the floor. There was a baby gate across the doorway. He wake up & just play with his toys on his floor until I came in the room (he usually woke while i was in the shower).
Until he was 6 months or so he'd sleep with me & I remember spending many nights snoozing with him in my arms on his mattress on the floor of his room.
It worked great until he was about 3. Then he got a regular bad and a bookcase anchored to the wall. His clothes stayed in his closet which was locked.
Well, contrary to all the commenters here, I have to say that we found the swing completely useless with both of my kids. They hated it, just hated it. So at the very least, I recommend not buying it until the baby is already there, and you can test it and, if it's a no-go, return it to the store.
I would also recommend against buying receiving blankets. Most of them are too small to be useful for swaddling anyway. The best swaddling blankets we had were cut out of a very cheap set of flannel sheets. Oh, and the pillowcases from that set made excellent changing pad covers.
The one thing I absolutely could not do without is a sling. And the best one in my opinion (and I've tried them all and then some) is a stretchy wrap, like a Moby wrap. It's cheaper than bjorn and is much more versatile -- you can wrap it any which way, you can use it with babies the first day they of their life and they will last longer than the bjorn also. They work with a person of any size, and I've yet to meet a baby that didn't like them. They may look daunting at first, but aren't at all -- there are tons of videos on youtube showing how to wrap one in seconds. And having a sling, you can actually skip a stroller (I know I have with my second child :) ).
more information than you wanted is at www.babywearer.com -- it's a great site to browse.
Now for more things we didn't use:
-- wipe warmer (have yet to understand why one needs it)
-- crib mobiles (our kids didn't like lying there watching them)
-- cribs (although that's a very personal decision. We did have a crib, but our kids made their decision known very unequivocally)
-- baby lotions/shampoos/etc. Babies are actually great at regulating their personal hygine if you make sure that their diaper is clean and you wash them with water periodically.
-- infant car mirrors (the kind you supposedly use to see whether your baby is asleep when they are in a rear-facing car seat. It's a hazard in case of accidents, and it's a distraction at best).
-- shoes, just like you say. Clothes that are cutesy in an adult way. Really, you don't want to try to get your newborn into a pair of jeans.
-- diaper bags, expensive strollers, rocking chair, etc.
There are inexpensive changing pads that you can secure to the top of a dresser to convert a dresser to a changing table. we used this with both of our children and used the top drawer to store diapers/wipes as well as clothing.
I agree with most other posters re: swing. It will depend upon the baby you get. With our first son, the swing was critical to helping him through the early evening witching hour. Our second son didn't have much use for it, though.
I always wondered about bacterial growth with the wipes warmer, so we didn't get one.
I agree about baby shoes being unnecessary especially since socks will do fine at keeping their feet cozy.
I think you should wait until "a problem" arises. Fussiness, not being able to take a shower, whatever. Then try to find a solution for your baby. Not every baby needs everything out there on the market, but some parents will find there is something that is a lifesaver. Wait until you need to find a solution or something that will help your individual need and leave everything else behind. You will find one thing you won't need and that is ADVICE from other people about how they did it. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.
I am almost in the same situation as Jersey girl, but with SunTrust Mortgage. We have also made the decision to hold off on our July payment. We've had our application for modification in since March 09. SunTrust will claim that the government has not provided them the tools to do the Affordability Act Modifications. Then they will tell you that you qualify - but the remainder of the process is unknown. After struggling to make all my payments on time to this point, I feel like a chump! They WANT to see you DAMAGE your credit so you have less options later. All this does is strengthen the lender's position. But we can't be at a stalemate forever - so we took the position that until we can begin to negotiate, there will be no more payments. We are prepared to walk as this is a 100% loan upside down about $80K. I really think this is a give and take. They want to see you sacrifice any credit you have left before the negotiation begins. The government is mistaken if they think banks will work will work modification applicants who haven't missed a payment! Thanks for taking the time to read this!
I think I have to disagree with the swing in the waste of money category. Not completely. If your's is a baby who likes to swing, go for it. Test a friends swing out with your baby. If that swing lets baby sleep so you can get a few hours of shut-eye, then it is worth it's weight in gold. I had one for my boys (given to me in a shower) and it saved many a night and my babies liked it too!
Recession to me means that there is a substantial rise in unemployment. I work in Law Enforcement, which also means that I sometimes work longer hours, with little or no increase of pay due to budget constraints at the same time.
12 years ago, when I was pregnant with my son, I bit the bullet and spent $75 on a Baby Bjorn baby pack. Best baby money I spent! I used the pack regularly, including on a five hour flight with a layover when my son was only two months old. Being able to keep baby close in front and have my hands free to pull the suitcase and access my ticket was SO helpful, plus it kept my back from aching with the design. Baby faces you in this front pack until he/she is able to hold the head up. Then you place them facing out, so they can see the world. I could vacuum, shop, travel, walk, and more with my Baby Bjorn and keep my baby close and cozy. The Baby Bjorn is completely machine washable, comes in a lot of patterns (now), and wears well. I passed mine along to my cousin, and she's still using it on baby #3, 12 years later.
I skipped the swing and changing table, too. Instead, I had changing "stations" in the rooms we spent the most time in--a towel or blanket, wipes, diapers, and a couple of plastic grocery bags in a basket. Worked like a charm. Without a swing, we were given a bouncy chair that vibrated--priceless! It kept my son so happy that we actually bought a second one for travelling/our bedroom. He was completely mellow in that chair, even when he was sick.
Wastes? The car charging bottle warmer, the bassinet (bought new, used three weeks--buy used!), and the Diaper Genie. Spend money on bibs and socks instead--I never had enough of those!
Thanks for sharing such great post, according to me Staying in debts and spending huge amounts is not a wise decision. You should always keep note on your budget and spend accordingly. For more details on monthly expenses refer http://www.prime-targeting.com/the-guide-to-spend-less-reduce-monthly-ex...
I purchased a shredder from the ING direct shop. Enticed by a birthday coupon they lured me, a bank account holder, into purchasing a much need shredder. The shredder was poorly made and broke down immediately after. I had family that was terminal and was not able to make the 30 return policy they have. Well guess what the manufacturer of the product wants you to ship the item for repair yourself and then pay $10 for the return. That is OVER 40% of the purchase price. I would not recommend purchasing from ING direct shop. How dare they pray on their 'bread winners' aka bank account holders like this!
Congrats on the baby! Now, brace yourself for the avalanche of advice you appear to have invited.
You don't need a bottle warmer, either. All they do is teach your child to only take a warm bottle. IMO better to have baby be flexible.
You don't need a "tummy time mat" or some $80 BS that is essentially a waterproof blanket. The cheap workaround is a waterproof pad designed to protect a crib mattress, with a cotton blanket on top.
The first time I went into babies-r-badspellers to register I had to leave. It was too much, and I had no idea what I needed. I adopted the great-grandmother-rule then: If my great-grandmother didn't have it, then I should think thrice as to whether I wanted it.
Put on your list: Onesies extenders. If you're a runner or plan to walk / be outdoors much, a good jogging stroller (better than BRU carries). A quality crib mattress is another thing you want, one that will last through the toddler bed.
You can get practically everything baby oriented on craigslist. Usually for half of BRU price or less.
My daughter (now 4.5 months) HATES having stuff pulled over her head. Clothing that snaps or zips up the side is a big hit around here. She also hated the swing. A favored toy is an arch that goes over her and has toys hanging down that she bats at, grabs, etc. I think it's called a play gym. Another favorite of hers has been a mobile. Her #1 toy, tho, is a napkin with a chili pepper print that is black, red, green and white. At varying stages, she looks at it, reaches for it, bats at it, and stuffs it in her mouth. Although the napkin has recent competition from a food wrapper ...
I mostly change my daughter on my bed or in her crib. No pad, no special cover, she's only peed on me once during a change and I don't think it would happen again. And I don't wipe her after every pee diaper. IMO it's not necessary and would just dry out her skin.
We use cloth diapers (and cloth wipes). My spouse and I made the cloth diaper choice because we feel it is both the frugal and green choice, and because we believe it is healthier for our daughter to wear cloth diapers. So far it has been easy, she hasn't had a diaper rash, and it really is super cheap. Despite all the fancy cloth diapers out there, frankly we prefer prefolds and covers, although we have some pocket diapers that we use when we're out and about. Anyway, while a lot of folks go EEEW, POOP!, cloth diapering, whether you buy your own or use a diaper service, is something to consider. I'd be happy to point you in lots of directions on this subject.
Book for you: Baby 411.
Books for her: Thinking 'It's just an infant what does she know' I waited under mine was 13 weeks to begin to read to her. And her reaction was OMG BOOK! She loved it instantly. I regret not starting sooner. Even now, if she is screaming her fool head off, putting a book in front of her and reading to her will get to calm down and pay attention to the book. Board books are good because she can flail and grasp at them without worrying about a papercut. And of course, as she's hungry for knowledge ... chew on them.
My only rule is don't buy it till you need it. Also, you might want to rethink "a few outfits in each size". When my son was very young he had very explosive poo and he could go through up to 5 outfits a day, so, it all depends on how often you feel like doing laundry. Good luck!
We had triplets on May 28th. A girl and two boys. They are still in the hospital so I haven't much experience in what works and what doesn't. Someone bought us little mesh bags to put fruit in and says their child loves to suck the fruit juice...ok, I guess. I also understand that they make little doodle covers for boys to cover their privates so they don't spray everywhere when you change them. I would have to say that this would definitely be one of those "do without" products. Use a cloth instead. That I have learned at the hospital as they will let us change their diapers.
I thought a lot of these things were ridiculous until I'd lost my mind with no sleep.
I ended up paying $20 for a wipe warmer, and it was totally worth it. She cried every time we changed her with a cold wipe until it got about 80F outside. Crying baby = bad news for mother.
Diaper Genie - itty-bitty disposable baby diapers are indeed small, but if you change them 12 times a day (no lie!) they add up. I didn't think they were stinky, but others did. My daughter is 19 months now, and it still doesn't bug me, but my husband tries really hard not to puke every time he changes a diaper, and the smell of one that has been sitting around permeates the room. Some sort of thing that cuts off smell is good.
Too many tiny baby clothes - I didn't actually have to buy any clothes for my daughter for the first year, because people gave me so many. I never regretted having too many, even if she didn't wear them all, because all my daughter's clothes can fit in one good sized tote. Since they're so small to begin with, it's still a lot of clothes - and I still run out of clean clothes for her.
But, our house is cold (or hot) and she gets dirty a lot. In the winter, she wore a onesie, a knit playsuit, a fleece playsuit, slippers, and sometimes a sweatshirt and a hat. That's a lot of clothes to change a minimum of 2 or 3 times a day!
What I found absolutely essential?
Something to put her toys in, to keep them out of the way and off the floor.
Multiple containers of wipes, diaper cream, and diapers.
water-proof pads
gentle soap (see EWG.com for safe baby soaps)
Mystery Shopping, Paid Surveys, and Freebie Trading have helped stretch my budget for sure! Mystery Shopping is a great way to get a free meal, and maybe a few extra bucks. Not big money, but a nice supplement.
My kids would ONLY sleep in a swing for the first 6-9 months, no lie. Well worth the $. Also I would agree with the others and buy a cheap changing pad that will strap on a dresser or whatever. Well worth it to have a space where all the diapers, wipes, clothes are. Imagine you are changing a diaper at 2 am after being up for the last 20 hours straight. You will need a spot you can just stagger over to.
Also I highly recommend the Medela microwave steam bags ($6 for 4) Each last for 20+ uses and you can steam clean just about anything: bottles, nipples, pacifiers, breast pump parts. Well worth it!
while I agree with you on the other stuff for being non essential, I think a swing is worth the investment. I got one for my baby shower and boy were we grateful. My daughter used it daily for a whole year. It was the only thing that kept her perfectly happy when I was busy doing other things (taking a shower or making dinner). After she outgrew her swing, I ended up giving it to a friend who used it with her 2 kids. By the way, we did not get a changing table, but frankly changing my daughter on the floor wasn't exactly appealing to me either. We ended up clearing a space on the bathroom counter and used that instead. It's free and it worked great for us.
Even the most pared-down "must-have" list is going to recommend too much, as far as I'm concerned. My daughter is two now, and I wish we'd taken back/not bought 90% of the stuff we got for her before she was born and 75% of the "must-haves" we accumulated during her first year. I guess it's a rite of passage for first-time parents to over-equip in these modern times. We did love the swing, though - the Papasan one - it was worth every single penny. The $5 yard-sale bouncy seat was also a life-saver. And you are right about #3; TV is not recommended for babies.
I agree with comment #15 about the burp cloths and receiving blankets. I found burp cloths to be pretty much completely useless - half the time, the fabric they're made from (fleece, designer quilting cottons, jersey, and even the good 'ol gauze) can't absorb quick enough, so you're holding this cloth out while baby puke runs down it and onto your pants anyway. Plus, it's one more thing to carry around/have around the house and you will be up to your eyeballs in junk anyway. Unless you've got a heavy-duty puke machine, the cheapie 10-pk of baby washcloths will do just fine. The "baby" part does matter on the washcloths, though; the adult terry ones are too big to get in all babies' little folds and crevices. People looooove to give blankets, receiving or otherwise, but you really only need a couple. That goes for pretty much everything, actually. And people will give you clothes. Clothes and clothes and CLOTHES. We begged people not to give us clothes, begged and pleaded and explicitly said "We're all set on clothes, thanks anyway..." and still wound up with SIX jumbo plastic Rubbermaid tubs full - just in 0-12m sizes. Do not listen to them when they say "oh, you'll go through so many changes of clothes..." It's just not true - unless they're a hardcore barfer (see above) or you're in the wrong size diaper and having blowouts every time they poop, babies don't get very dirty most of the time.
What we learned with our four babies:
1) If you have enough friends/family with baby hand-me-downs, you probably won't ever have to actually buy most clothes.
2) About 1/2 of our kids loved the swing. The other 1/2 were indifferent. We got an old, metal, battery-powered swing 2nd hand, and it was great.
3) We did cloth diapers. Saved an enormous amount of money and, really, wasn't that much worse than disposables. Yeah, you've gotta dunk 'em, but if you're breastfeeding, the poo doesn't smell and it's not a terrible chore. We bought a dry pail that had a place for deodorizing discs in the lid. Kept it in the bathroom for 9 years, and used the SAME set of cloth diapers on all our children! We did use disposables, too, mainly when we were going out for extended periods or on vacation. BONUS: When the kids are older, the bulkiness of cloth diapers are a strong incentive for them to potty train.
4) We did a lot of changing the baby on the floor, but we also had a 2nd hand changing table that was WONDERFUL. That's where we kept all the supplies (handy-dandy), and, for the younger kids, it was nice to be able to stand upright (we're getting old). Also, with multiple children, it can be hard sometimes to find a clear baby-sized space on the floor when you need.
5)Baby Shoes - our pediatrician warned us against putting the baby in shoes before he was walking for orthopaedic reasons. We had a nice pair of soft-soled shoes for dress-up occasions, but that was it.
All you really NEED for a newborn are sleepers, some light blankets for swaddling, diapers & wipes of some kind, and a comfortable place to sit while nursing. And some kind of carrier/stroller, and a car seat. And baby wash and nail nippers. And if it's *my* baby, a prescription for Zantac and a dozen or so bibs.
1. Too many tiny baby clothes - So true. You really only need a half-dozen sleepers and another half-dozen outfits. But baby clothes are so cute, nobody sticks to that.
2. Baby shoes - until they're walking, they can wear socks, unless it's cold and they're going outside.
3. "Educational" DVDs for babies - waste of money, although my 5-year-old used to watch Baby Einstein DVDs to get to sleep.
4. Changing table - they make $20 "changing pads" that you can attach to the top of a dresser. We've been using ours for 5.5 years now, so it was a great investment, even if you factor in 3 $10 terrycloth covers.
5. Wipe warmer - you can scrunch the wipe in your hand for a few seconds to warm it up if the coldness bothers your baby.
6. Nursery decoration - cute, but a total waste of money, given how fast they grow.
7. Swing - not needed, except when it is. Our first baby never swung. Second baby - lifesaver. Some babies just love being in motion, and if they can't swing, they expect YOU to provide it.
8. WhyCry Baby Crying Analyzer - no comment.
9. Diaper Genie - when you're taking care of a newborn, you don't have time to make a special trip outside 10 times a day, which is approximately how often they poop. But a Diaper Champ or other sealed waste receptacle that uses regular garbage bags is more economical than the Diaper Genie. Both will eventually stink, because that's what happens when you mix plastic with poop.
I also disagree about the wipe warmer. When baby wakes up for that 2am feeding and you change her before putting her back down...a cold (room temp) wipes wakes them RIGHT UP. A warm one let them stay half asleep and continue to fall asleep.
Guess it would depend on how easy your baby gets shocked by the temp. I know for my kids it guaranteed I got to go back to bed...and I was every sorry any time I didn't have it!
I have to agree on everything except the diaper genie. I guess it depends on your living conditions but in a high rise condo there is no "outside trash" that is easy to get to. I found the diaper genie contained odors well as long as you emptied it out every 2 or 3 days. I could see that this would be a waste if you lived in a home or somewhere you could easily/quickly access an outside trash bin.
My son out grew the swing gifted to me before he was 4 months. He enjoyed the swing greatly but he was simply too big.
I never did a crib - he stayed in a baby safe room (very clean carpet, capped outlets & no furniture) with a mattress on the floor. There was a baby gate across the doorway. He wake up & just play with his toys on his floor until I came in the room (he usually woke while i was in the shower).
Until he was 6 months or so he'd sleep with me & I remember spending many nights snoozing with him in my arms on his mattress on the floor of his room.
It worked great until he was about 3. Then he got a regular bad and a bookcase anchored to the wall. His clothes stayed in his closet which was locked.
I miss those days... babies are so wonderful.
Hey Paul,
Really cool stuff you have got at very cheap rate. I would also like to add some good bargain sites for techhie...
http://www.techbargains.com/ ,
http://www.cheapdeals101.com/ ,
http://www.xpbargains.com/
for coupon I also recommend retailmenot & couponchef...
Hope this helps you...Thanks paul...
Bella.
Oh baby, the expectant parents' dilemma.
Well, contrary to all the commenters here, I have to say that we found the swing completely useless with both of my kids. They hated it, just hated it. So at the very least, I recommend not buying it until the baby is already there, and you can test it and, if it's a no-go, return it to the store.
I would also recommend against buying receiving blankets. Most of them are too small to be useful for swaddling anyway. The best swaddling blankets we had were cut out of a very cheap set of flannel sheets. Oh, and the pillowcases from that set made excellent changing pad covers.
The one thing I absolutely could not do without is a sling. And the best one in my opinion (and I've tried them all and then some) is a stretchy wrap, like a Moby wrap. It's cheaper than bjorn and is much more versatile -- you can wrap it any which way, you can use it with babies the first day they of their life and they will last longer than the bjorn also. They work with a person of any size, and I've yet to meet a baby that didn't like them. They may look daunting at first, but aren't at all -- there are tons of videos on youtube showing how to wrap one in seconds. And having a sling, you can actually skip a stroller (I know I have with my second child :) ).
more information than you wanted is at www.babywearer.com -- it's a great site to browse.
Now for more things we didn't use:
-- wipe warmer (have yet to understand why one needs it)
-- crib mobiles (our kids didn't like lying there watching them)
-- cribs (although that's a very personal decision. We did have a crib, but our kids made their decision known very unequivocally)
-- baby lotions/shampoos/etc. Babies are actually great at regulating their personal hygine if you make sure that their diaper is clean and you wash them with water periodically.
-- infant car mirrors (the kind you supposedly use to see whether your baby is asleep when they are in a rear-facing car seat. It's a hazard in case of accidents, and it's a distraction at best).
-- shoes, just like you say. Clothes that are cutesy in an adult way. Really, you don't want to try to get your newborn into a pair of jeans.
-- diaper bags, expensive strollers, rocking chair, etc.
There are inexpensive changing pads that you can secure to the top of a dresser to convert a dresser to a changing table. we used this with both of our children and used the top drawer to store diapers/wipes as well as clothing.
I agree with most other posters re: swing. It will depend upon the baby you get. With our first son, the swing was critical to helping him through the early evening witching hour. Our second son didn't have much use for it, though.
I always wondered about bacterial growth with the wipes warmer, so we didn't get one.
I agree about baby shoes being unnecessary especially since socks will do fine at keeping their feet cozy.
I think you should wait until "a problem" arises. Fussiness, not being able to take a shower, whatever. Then try to find a solution for your baby. Not every baby needs everything out there on the market, but some parents will find there is something that is a lifesaver. Wait until you need to find a solution or something that will help your individual need and leave everything else behind. You will find one thing you won't need and that is ADVICE from other people about how they did it. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.
I am almost in the same situation as Jersey girl, but with SunTrust Mortgage. We have also made the decision to hold off on our July payment. We've had our application for modification in since March 09. SunTrust will claim that the government has not provided them the tools to do the Affordability Act Modifications. Then they will tell you that you qualify - but the remainder of the process is unknown. After struggling to make all my payments on time to this point, I feel like a chump! They WANT to see you DAMAGE your credit so you have less options later. All this does is strengthen the lender's position. But we can't be at a stalemate forever - so we took the position that until we can begin to negotiate, there will be no more payments. We are prepared to walk as this is a 100% loan upside down about $80K. I really think this is a give and take. They want to see you sacrifice any credit you have left before the negotiation begins. The government is mistaken if they think banks will work will work modification applicants who haven't missed a payment! Thanks for taking the time to read this!
I think I have to disagree with the swing in the waste of money category. Not completely. If your's is a baby who likes to swing, go for it. Test a friends swing out with your baby. If that swing lets baby sleep so you can get a few hours of shut-eye, then it is worth it's weight in gold. I had one for my boys (given to me in a shower) and it saved many a night and my babies liked it too!
Recession to me means that there is a substantial rise in unemployment. I work in Law Enforcement, which also means that I sometimes work longer hours, with little or no increase of pay due to budget constraints at the same time.
12 years ago, when I was pregnant with my son, I bit the bullet and spent $75 on a Baby Bjorn baby pack. Best baby money I spent! I used the pack regularly, including on a five hour flight with a layover when my son was only two months old. Being able to keep baby close in front and have my hands free to pull the suitcase and access my ticket was SO helpful, plus it kept my back from aching with the design. Baby faces you in this front pack until he/she is able to hold the head up. Then you place them facing out, so they can see the world. I could vacuum, shop, travel, walk, and more with my Baby Bjorn and keep my baby close and cozy. The Baby Bjorn is completely machine washable, comes in a lot of patterns (now), and wears well. I passed mine along to my cousin, and she's still using it on baby #3, 12 years later.
I skipped the swing and changing table, too. Instead, I had changing "stations" in the rooms we spent the most time in--a towel or blanket, wipes, diapers, and a couple of plastic grocery bags in a basket. Worked like a charm. Without a swing, we were given a bouncy chair that vibrated--priceless! It kept my son so happy that we actually bought a second one for travelling/our bedroom. He was completely mellow in that chair, even when he was sick.
Wastes? The car charging bottle warmer, the bassinet (bought new, used three weeks--buy used!), and the Diaper Genie. Spend money on bibs and socks instead--I never had enough of those!
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I purchased a shredder from the ING direct shop. Enticed by a birthday coupon they lured me, a bank account holder, into purchasing a much need shredder. The shredder was poorly made and broke down immediately after. I had family that was terminal and was not able to make the 30 return policy they have. Well guess what the manufacturer of the product wants you to ship the item for repair yourself and then pay $10 for the return. That is OVER 40% of the purchase price. I would not recommend purchasing from ING direct shop. How dare they pray on their 'bread winners' aka bank account holders like this!
PS - Best part about cloth diapers? No poop explosions!
Congrats on the baby! Now, brace yourself for the avalanche of advice you appear to have invited.
You don't need a bottle warmer, either. All they do is teach your child to only take a warm bottle. IMO better to have baby be flexible.
You don't need a "tummy time mat" or some $80 BS that is essentially a waterproof blanket. The cheap workaround is a waterproof pad designed to protect a crib mattress, with a cotton blanket on top.
The first time I went into babies-r-badspellers to register I had to leave. It was too much, and I had no idea what I needed. I adopted the great-grandmother-rule then: If my great-grandmother didn't have it, then I should think thrice as to whether I wanted it.
Put on your list: Onesies extenders. If you're a runner or plan to walk / be outdoors much, a good jogging stroller (better than BRU carries). A quality crib mattress is another thing you want, one that will last through the toddler bed.
You can get practically everything baby oriented on craigslist. Usually for half of BRU price or less.
My daughter (now 4.5 months) HATES having stuff pulled over her head. Clothing that snaps or zips up the side is a big hit around here. She also hated the swing. A favored toy is an arch that goes over her and has toys hanging down that she bats at, grabs, etc. I think it's called a play gym. Another favorite of hers has been a mobile. Her #1 toy, tho, is a napkin with a chili pepper print that is black, red, green and white. At varying stages, she looks at it, reaches for it, bats at it, and stuffs it in her mouth. Although the napkin has recent competition from a food wrapper ...
I mostly change my daughter on my bed or in her crib. No pad, no special cover, she's only peed on me once during a change and I don't think it would happen again. And I don't wipe her after every pee diaper. IMO it's not necessary and would just dry out her skin.
We use cloth diapers (and cloth wipes). My spouse and I made the cloth diaper choice because we feel it is both the frugal and green choice, and because we believe it is healthier for our daughter to wear cloth diapers. So far it has been easy, she hasn't had a diaper rash, and it really is super cheap. Despite all the fancy cloth diapers out there, frankly we prefer prefolds and covers, although we have some pocket diapers that we use when we're out and about. Anyway, while a lot of folks go EEEW, POOP!, cloth diapering, whether you buy your own or use a diaper service, is something to consider. I'd be happy to point you in lots of directions on this subject.
Book for you: Baby 411.
Books for her: Thinking 'It's just an infant what does she know' I waited under mine was 13 weeks to begin to read to her. And her reaction was OMG BOOK! She loved it instantly. I regret not starting sooner. Even now, if she is screaming her fool head off, putting a book in front of her and reading to her will get to calm down and pay attention to the book. Board books are good because she can flail and grasp at them without worrying about a papercut. And of course, as she's hungry for knowledge ... chew on them.
My only rule is don't buy it till you need it. Also, you might want to rethink "a few outfits in each size". When my son was very young he had very explosive poo and he could go through up to 5 outfits a day, so, it all depends on how often you feel like doing laundry. Good luck!
We had triplets on May 28th. A girl and two boys. They are still in the hospital so I haven't much experience in what works and what doesn't. Someone bought us little mesh bags to put fruit in and says their child loves to suck the fruit juice...ok, I guess. I also understand that they make little doodle covers for boys to cover their privates so they don't spray everywhere when you change them. I would have to say that this would definitely be one of those "do without" products. Use a cloth instead. That I have learned at the hospital as they will let us change their diapers.
I thought a lot of these things were ridiculous until I'd lost my mind with no sleep.
I ended up paying $20 for a wipe warmer, and it was totally worth it. She cried every time we changed her with a cold wipe until it got about 80F outside. Crying baby = bad news for mother.
Diaper Genie - itty-bitty disposable baby diapers are indeed small, but if you change them 12 times a day (no lie!) they add up. I didn't think they were stinky, but others did. My daughter is 19 months now, and it still doesn't bug me, but my husband tries really hard not to puke every time he changes a diaper, and the smell of one that has been sitting around permeates the room. Some sort of thing that cuts off smell is good.
Too many tiny baby clothes - I didn't actually have to buy any clothes for my daughter for the first year, because people gave me so many. I never regretted having too many, even if she didn't wear them all, because all my daughter's clothes can fit in one good sized tote. Since they're so small to begin with, it's still a lot of clothes - and I still run out of clean clothes for her.
But, our house is cold (or hot) and she gets dirty a lot. In the winter, she wore a onesie, a knit playsuit, a fleece playsuit, slippers, and sometimes a sweatshirt and a hat. That's a lot of clothes to change a minimum of 2 or 3 times a day!
What I found absolutely essential?
Something to put her toys in, to keep them out of the way and off the floor.
Multiple containers of wipes, diaper cream, and diapers.
water-proof pads
gentle soap (see EWG.com for safe baby soaps)
Mystery Shopping, Paid Surveys, and Freebie Trading have helped stretch my budget for sure! Mystery Shopping is a great way to get a free meal, and maybe a few extra bucks. Not big money, but a nice supplement.
There is lots of information on where to get started here: http://www.momswallet.com/mysteryshopping.html
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My kids would ONLY sleep in a swing for the first 6-9 months, no lie. Well worth the $. Also I would agree with the others and buy a cheap changing pad that will strap on a dresser or whatever. Well worth it to have a space where all the diapers, wipes, clothes are. Imagine you are changing a diaper at 2 am after being up for the last 20 hours straight. You will need a spot you can just stagger over to.
Also I highly recommend the Medela microwave steam bags ($6 for 4) Each last for 20+ uses and you can steam clean just about anything: bottles, nipples, pacifiers, breast pump parts. Well worth it!
Looking at my total debt makes me want to bang my head against the wall. I am so sad about all of this. :(
while I agree with you on the other stuff for being non essential, I think a swing is worth the investment. I got one for my baby shower and boy were we grateful. My daughter used it daily for a whole year. It was the only thing that kept her perfectly happy when I was busy doing other things (taking a shower or making dinner). After she outgrew her swing, I ended up giving it to a friend who used it with her 2 kids. By the way, we did not get a changing table, but frankly changing my daughter on the floor wasn't exactly appealing to me either. We ended up clearing a space on the bathroom counter and used that instead. It's free and it worked great for us.
Even the most pared-down "must-have" list is going to recommend too much, as far as I'm concerned. My daughter is two now, and I wish we'd taken back/not bought 90% of the stuff we got for her before she was born and 75% of the "must-haves" we accumulated during her first year. I guess it's a rite of passage for first-time parents to over-equip in these modern times. We did love the swing, though - the Papasan one - it was worth every single penny. The $5 yard-sale bouncy seat was also a life-saver. And you are right about #3; TV is not recommended for babies.
I agree with comment #15 about the burp cloths and receiving blankets. I found burp cloths to be pretty much completely useless - half the time, the fabric they're made from (fleece, designer quilting cottons, jersey, and even the good 'ol gauze) can't absorb quick enough, so you're holding this cloth out while baby puke runs down it and onto your pants anyway. Plus, it's one more thing to carry around/have around the house and you will be up to your eyeballs in junk anyway. Unless you've got a heavy-duty puke machine, the cheapie 10-pk of baby washcloths will do just fine. The "baby" part does matter on the washcloths, though; the adult terry ones are too big to get in all babies' little folds and crevices. People looooove to give blankets, receiving or otherwise, but you really only need a couple. That goes for pretty much everything, actually. And people will give you clothes. Clothes and clothes and CLOTHES. We begged people not to give us clothes, begged and pleaded and explicitly said "We're all set on clothes, thanks anyway..." and still wound up with SIX jumbo plastic Rubbermaid tubs full - just in 0-12m sizes. Do not listen to them when they say "oh, you'll go through so many changes of clothes..." It's just not true - unless they're a hardcore barfer (see above) or you're in the wrong size diaper and having blowouts every time they poop, babies don't get very dirty most of the time.