Your wedding costs as much as you want it to. If you're living together unmarried you're only missing out on possible tax benefits. Babies, stress, shared fiscal responsibility (you can sue someone over shared debt even if you're not married) exist in most modern relationships. It's much more important that you can discuss your debt and finances openly and honestly with your partner before you do get married or otherwise long term committed (i.e. buy a house together).
My husband is an impulse buyer. We've kept it under control by budgeting in an impulse amount that he can spend on anything he wants. But once it's spent, that's it.
It works much better than him having free access to our entire bank account.
It cannot possibly be ignorance of what is is healthy and what is not. Even the dumbest poor person knows that spinach is healthier than a big mac, but if you offered them a bunch of spinach or a big mac, costing the same amount, they'd pick the big mac.
Do you really think they'd pick the big mac because they're running calculations in their head to compare calories and judge the big mac to be a better deal because it has more calories? Of course not. In their mind, the big mac = delicious, and the bunch of spinach = not delicious.
And people don't need locally grown organic food to be pinnacles of health. There's not a damned thing wrong with frozen vegetables. Non-organic frozen vegetables are super cheap and super healthy.
I think poor people are fat because of choice. Not that they choose to be fat, but because they choose big macs, and mountain dew over spinach and water.
I had $40,000 in student loan debt and $2,000 in credit card debt when I married a debt-free man. It was no problem for us. I was upfront in insisting this was my debt and he didn't need to dig into savings. We pool our money, true, but I worked my regular full-time job to pay my minimum payments. THEN, I took on as much freelance work on nights and weekends as possible, and sent every last dollar of it to those loans. They were paid off in two years and were never an issue for us. It's about your personality and expectations. I knew it was my issue, and I came up with a solution, while still being part of a couple.
In college, I made the decision not to get married until I had paid all of my student loan debt—then I met my current boyfriend. We've been dating for almost four years and moved in together a few months ago, so I've definitely been thinking about our future together. While I'd love to marry him tomorrow, I know that bringing debt into my marriage would add unnecessary stress. I don't have any consumer debt (no credit cards, no car loan, etc.), but I still have about $15,000 in student loans... so at this rate it will be at least another 5-7 years before I can pay that off and we can get married.
Of course, if we did get married it would not cost $18,000! I have never been able to understand how people can spend that much money on one day of their lives. I'm perfectly content with a courthouse wedding. :)
A,
You get sick less because our bodies are not used to drastic changes in temperature or climate. Contrary to popular belief, being cold does not lower your immune system. What does is the constant shock put on our body from going from hot to cold. By keeping your inside temperature rather low, you're taking a lot of unneeded stress from your joints and your immune system because your body is in a smaller fluctuation of temperature.
We try to dress appropriately, even around the house. And we drop the thermostat really low at night and use a heated mattress pad to stay comfortable. We eat lots of soups and stews and bake, because that oven heat helps with the house temperature, too.
This is all VERY helpful, but I still have questions! My boyfriend and me recently got engaged and right after we found out we were pregnant. Although this was not planned we are both very excited to become parents. I'm currently on my parents health insurance up until I am in my mid twenties, but I was informed as soon as I have a baby or get married, I no longer have that health insurance and I have to acquire my own. Is this true? If so I need to look into other forms of paying hospital expenses after having the baby. We are very concerned about finances right now and we are trying to figure out the best way to go about the pregnancy and expenses afterwards. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!
HOLLY Brap! I read the what to do, stuck my hand into the couch and!!!!!!! there it was, MY WALLET!!!! I just about fell off the couch! still am giddy! giddy =goo goo!!1 I love the innertube! TNX 4 The calm advice! I have no idea who or why or when it got in there but it has been missing for 3 days! 1 Google search and BAM! the answer in the crack! How you like that Ford Nation!
"Educational" podcasts? The ones you recommend for women are about things like relationships, motherhood, sex, dating, grammar, books and family. Recommendations for men include all the truly interesting, educational stuff--history, practical advice, Fresh Air, This American Life, Marketplace, Freakonomics, Radiolab, etc.
I'm a 42-year-old wife and professional who wrote down 6 different podcasts on the men's list to try (I already listen to the ones I mentioned above, along with Grammar Girl). The women's "fluff" podcasts do not interest me. The idea that men would be more interested in Fresh Air or This American Life than women is truly baffling.
Sorry, I know posting podcast lists for guys and girls wasn't "meant to be sexist," but the "men's list" contains podcasts for science, books, economics etc., while the women's list is all about dating, sex, being a mother, etc.. Considering how many Top 10 lists exist on the internet, maybe you could have chosen slightly better.
What a great post! So positive! Yep the trick is to find your own 'groove' and then play your own song. So often we are taught (by those surrounding us when we grow up) that life is a ABC or 123 process but in fact it is more like a dance were you are the only one who can hear the rhythm... no one else can hear your rhythm. So once you hear it you should ALWAYS follow it no matter what... after all life is a GREAT game and a fun one at that.
Your wedding costs as much as you want it to. If you're living together unmarried you're only missing out on possible tax benefits. Babies, stress, shared fiscal responsibility (you can sue someone over shared debt even if you're not married) exist in most modern relationships. It's much more important that you can discuss your debt and finances openly and honestly with your partner before you do get married or otherwise long term committed (i.e. buy a house together).
My husband is an impulse buyer. We've kept it under control by budgeting in an impulse amount that he can spend on anything he wants. But once it's spent, that's it.
It works much better than him having free access to our entire bank account.
My husband paid off his credit card balance before asking me to marry him (luckily, it was only a few hundred dollars). I took it as a very good sign.
Oh, and we're celebrating our 25th anniversary next year.
Most of the arguments make no sense to me.
It cannot possibly be ignorance of what is is healthy and what is not. Even the dumbest poor person knows that spinach is healthier than a big mac, but if you offered them a bunch of spinach or a big mac, costing the same amount, they'd pick the big mac.
Do you really think they'd pick the big mac because they're running calculations in their head to compare calories and judge the big mac to be a better deal because it has more calories? Of course not. In their mind, the big mac = delicious, and the bunch of spinach = not delicious.
And people don't need locally grown organic food to be pinnacles of health. There's not a damned thing wrong with frozen vegetables. Non-organic frozen vegetables are super cheap and super healthy.
I think poor people are fat because of choice. Not that they choose to be fat, but because they choose big macs, and mountain dew over spinach and water.
I had $40,000 in student loan debt and $2,000 in credit card debt when I married a debt-free man. It was no problem for us. I was upfront in insisting this was my debt and he didn't need to dig into savings. We pool our money, true, but I worked my regular full-time job to pay my minimum payments. THEN, I took on as much freelance work on nights and weekends as possible, and sent every last dollar of it to those loans. They were paid off in two years and were never an issue for us. It's about your personality and expectations. I knew it was my issue, and I came up with a solution, while still being part of a couple.
We have a programmable thermostat and we seal up the windows with plastic. This really helps us stay warm and save money!
In college, I made the decision not to get married until I had paid all of my student loan debt—then I met my current boyfriend. We've been dating for almost four years and moved in together a few months ago, so I've definitely been thinking about our future together. While I'd love to marry him tomorrow, I know that bringing debt into my marriage would add unnecessary stress. I don't have any consumer debt (no credit cards, no car loan, etc.), but I still have about $15,000 in student loans... so at this rate it will be at least another 5-7 years before I can pay that off and we can get married.
Of course, if we did get married it would not cost $18,000! I have never been able to understand how people can spend that much money on one day of their lives. I'm perfectly content with a courthouse wedding. :)
You might want to re-think the kerosene heaters. Toxins.....
A,
You get sick less because our bodies are not used to drastic changes in temperature or climate. Contrary to popular belief, being cold does not lower your immune system. What does is the constant shock put on our body from going from hot to cold. By keeping your inside temperature rather low, you're taking a lot of unneeded stress from your joints and your immune system because your body is in a smaller fluctuation of temperature.
Plastic insulation on the windows, long underwear, my hot water bottle and a space heater (just heating the one room I'm in!)
We try to dress appropriately, even around the house. And we drop the thermostat really low at night and use a heated mattress pad to stay comfortable. We eat lots of soups and stews and bake, because that oven heat helps with the house temperature, too.
This is all VERY helpful, but I still have questions! My boyfriend and me recently got engaged and right after we found out we were pregnant. Although this was not planned we are both very excited to become parents. I'm currently on my parents health insurance up until I am in my mid twenties, but I was informed as soon as I have a baby or get married, I no longer have that health insurance and I have to acquire my own. Is this true? If so I need to look into other forms of paying hospital expenses after having the baby. We are very concerned about finances right now and we are trying to figure out the best way to go about the pregnancy and expenses afterwards. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!
I'm just trying to make sure that anything I put on a card, is paid in full. I will attempt some DIYS this year too.
We build a fire and play the Wii!
Dressing in layers and, when I'm at home, cuddling under a blanket with my two snuggly dogs!
HOLLY Brap! I read the what to do, stuck my hand into the couch and!!!!!!! there it was, MY WALLET!!!! I just about fell off the couch! still am giddy! giddy =goo goo!!1 I love the innertube! TNX 4 The calm advice! I have no idea who or why or when it got in there but it has been missing for 3 days! 1 Google search and BAM! the answer in the crack! How you like that Ford Nation!
Layers and drinking hot tea and hot chocolate. The warm mug also keeps my fingers warm, since they're the only thing that doesn't get layers.
Thanks for the giveaway! I'll take this advice into consideration
Set the thermostat low and Layer, Layer, Layer!
We wear sweaters or layers around the house and then turn the temps down at night and use electric blankets on the bed.
A space heater is my best friend. Instead of heating the whole home, I can heat the area right around me. Mmm, toasty.
"Educational" podcasts? The ones you recommend for women are about things like relationships, motherhood, sex, dating, grammar, books and family. Recommendations for men include all the truly interesting, educational stuff--history, practical advice, Fresh Air, This American Life, Marketplace, Freakonomics, Radiolab, etc.
I'm a 42-year-old wife and professional who wrote down 6 different podcasts on the men's list to try (I already listen to the ones I mentioned above, along with Grammar Girl). The women's "fluff" podcasts do not interest me. The idea that men would be more interested in Fresh Air or This American Life than women is truly baffling.
Sorry, I know posting podcast lists for guys and girls wasn't "meant to be sexist," but the "men's list" contains podcasts for science, books, economics etc., while the women's list is all about dating, sex, being a mother, etc.. Considering how many Top 10 lists exist on the internet, maybe you could have chosen slightly better.
I wear layers and when at home, warm socks.
What a great post! So positive! Yep the trick is to find your own 'groove' and then play your own song. So often we are taught (by those surrounding us when we grow up) that life is a ABC or 123 process but in fact it is more like a dance were you are the only one who can hear the rhythm... no one else can hear your rhythm. So once you hear it you should ALWAYS follow it no matter what... after all life is a GREAT game and a fun one at that.