I am with you, I need the landline. But, as a woman, a cell phone can be a "life saver" literally. A coworker sold me his old Virgin Mobile phone and showed me how to buy the minute plan for $21/quarterly (every three months) and the minutes roll over. So, for 7 dollars a month - I have a working cell phone for emergencies. I did not give out the phone number and I don't have it in my memory - because I only use it to call out if needed. This might work for you. Thanks Cary B for the good advice. When I headed off to Mexico for my dental work (saving 7K over Austin Tx estimates) I was glad to have it in my pocket. There is a long stretch of desolate road and I could call AAA on the cell if needed!
Sorry but my husband's guitars (and most of my instruments) are from yard sales/thrift shops/pawn shops or bought used! You CAN get a guitar for less than $100 if you look aroun
It's a weird entitlement fantasy of the "needy" that all the rest of us are rich folks and $100 here or there won't make a difference. I am sure that they get tired of used stuff- but almost everything I have is used, too! And I don't have an iPod, either!
My husband's students used this rationale as an excuse to lift (i.e. steal) anything that wasn't nailed down! But funny thing, they turned up their noses as slightly outdated technology - so you could leave a perfectly good boom box around! I wish they could get a clue that a degree of THRIFT makes the middle classes...The prevailing attitude of resentment is counter-productive and potentially more. After the L.A. riot the gutters of my Hollywood neighborhood were littered with wrappings from CDs - which had been looted from a local record store. These weren't necessities of life....
In order to make it in the U.S. you have to acquire a good understanding of consumption and your part in it - and it seems that that's not a lesson these kids are learning.
If you want some pine atmosphere but don't have the budget or space for a tree - collect pine boughs (branches to you) that are trimmed from the Xmas trees at your garden center or Xmas tree lot. Then put them in vases/containers. The shape is bushy - but you can even put ornaments on it and have several around the room - Satisfieds my tree urge - and for the rest, I have several little artficial trees which I put up in the apartment - none of which were costly - and which I have had for years....
I have heard about people here in Seattle having large rain catches that store rain water from their gutters. Some people even pipe it into their plumbing for flushing toilets. I have not really researched this for myself, but it may be a way to save on my water bill.
I never really thought those angel trees would have expensive items like ipods on there. I'd never even ask my own parents for one. We've known for years that our "santa" has a $100 limit for each kid.
For something like an ipod, I wonder if the kids say ipod because it's like the scotch tape of mp3 players . I'm guessing if a little girl got a $20 Bratz MP3 player she might be just as excited. That said, it does frustrate me that parents would let their kids request such expensive things from complete strangers.
Our office here is donating to Toys For Tots. It's nice because you can just pick a toy in your price range and the organization will make sure it is given to a needy boy or girl. That way, you can pick how much you want to spend and get something that you really want to give a child.
Wow, this article really struck me. It seems like we make needy kids feel more needy when we focus on what they don't have and what they want. It's terrible that their desire to just "be normal" and keep up with the Joneses is turning off the goodwill of others.
Here's a blogpost I wrote about another take on wishlist trees.
"What child has ever wanted jeans and a shirt for Christmas?"
I did, and still do. I am (and always have been) happy just to get something. To know that someone thought enough of me to get me something, anything. The problem, it seems, is that more and more people aren't happy with the idea of getting a gift because it's a gift that someone decided to give. They HAVE to have a gift theses days. It's a crime if you don't get lots and lots of stuff. If it's a low ticket item (a $10 shirt or a $5 book) forget it. Who wants those things anymore? No. It's Wii's, Xboxes, PSP's, and more.
Sure, we've spent a little more on gifts for each other here (my fiance and I) the last couple of years. But we buy stuff that we need. Table & chair set. Clothes. That sort of thing. Last year I bought my mom a book by her favorite author, and will probably do the same this year. I got clothes (which I needed, ;) and was thankful for) and a gift card to our local grocery store.
EVERYONE needs to be thankful they get what they get. Not just the poor or needy. You, me, the lady down the road. EVERYBODY needs to remember that the holidays shouldn't be about getting expensive presents. They should be about spending time with family and friends.
Its too bad that the charity or bank who setup that tree didn't limit the value of the gifts. They should really set the price value of the gifts at a reasonable level around $25 or less. Our company usually has a gift tree type program and the gifts items are always in the $10-20 range.
Very timely piece, and LOVE the ribbon tip. The stuff that has the wire in the sides so you can form stuff with it is great. But I don't think I've done as many different things with it as you have, though. We are trying to downsize and stay downsized, and since some of my Christmas decorations didn't survive two years in storage, I'm going to be seriously brainstorming ribbon possibilities now that you've shown me the light.
I tend to go shopping at Kmart for boses of tea. I get substantial savings with their clearance prices of 50 cents to $2 per box (20 tea bags) of tea that is usually priced regularly at over $3/box. Ditto for instant coffee on sale and with coupon.
Look, there are greedy jerks in this world. There are people who feel entitled to everything and work for nothing. There are people who would use their children to get things for themselves.
There are also good people struggling in hard times. There are kids who dream and hope and wish... and who don't have conscientious caregivers to teach them the true meaning of anything. There are people in need.
You can't often tell which is which from a card on a tree, and even if you can you should have the same mandate as any other time... to try to see the best in people and focus on the good. If you can give, find a way to give that you can believe in. That's all there is to it. Don't let the rest poison it for you.
There are cheaper options in prepaid than Tracfone (about $100 year)
Once you add $100 in refills (a $100 refill is as low as $85 on sale) to a T-Mobile prepaid phone, all future refills (even the $10 refill) are good for a year.
Page Plus prepaid (a Verizon reseller) offers $10 refills, good for 120 days ($30 every 360 days) - and can be refilled online.
For all the above, unused minutes roll forward.
Now that T-mobile has expanded its coverage here, I'm gradually shifting from Tracfone to T-Mobile for the several prepaid phones I keep.
Many people want to give but can't because requests are so pricey. (We have had the same issue at church.) I would love to see every child have all of their wishes fulfilled, but my pocketbook will not allow it. My kids are getting one present in the $30-40 range each and a couple of small things (including necessities like PJs and underwear). We can't afford the Wii that our oldest son requested or the ride-on dinosaur that our youngest son requested. Likewise, we cannot afford these for others, either. We want to help but are unable to because the "requests" are WAY out of our price range... not because we think these kids don't deserve them.
______
I still want them. So is a needy child not supposed to want things because he is needy? Is he or she not supposed to wish during the holidays or hope because their parents can't afford to fulfill them?
_______
Keep in mind, most kids are hoping. Many of us do without all year long. When I was younger, Christmas was the time to hope, that maybe you would get that one nice thing that would take you through the rest of the year. I understand the sentiments about kids being materialistic or overly commercialized, but again, it can be really alienating to be left out of what all your peers are doing and talking about, day in and day out. I started working at the age of twelve so I could finally stop feeling so alienated, and while I am still not much for brand names and logos (which marked how many times you wore a shirt), there are two feelings I will never forget:
1. The first time I received exactly what I wanted for Christmas (a portable cd player I used the whole year)
2. The first time I bought exactly what I wanted with my own money.
Give kids some more credit - at this point in their lives, they have to ask for what they want and have little idea of cost. Most will be aware of their circumstances soon enough.
Even though your post is a month old, it's even more relavant now than it was a month ago. My dad, an accounting professor of 20 years, says that a business that can make it during lean times will be even more profitable during the good times. I take that to heart because I am considering starting a business. I appreciate the candidness of the comments and replies on this blog and this website and am glad I found it. Thanks!
hey, you were wondering why fake trees were associated with consumerism and hectic pace in your mind? I suspect it's because of the "Charlie Brown Christmas" special!
What you shouldn't do is judge these children: "Well, they have a lot of nerve wanting what REGULAR kids want. These are poor children! This is charity! They ought to be glad they're getting anything at all!"
Thank you. I hate this attitude that I'm seeing. "Why don't these poor kids live up to my Dickensian fantasy, where they'll be satisfied with whatever I give them and worship me for throwing something their way?! They're getting much too uppity, these poor kids today!" Gross. They're kids! What child has ever wanted jeans and a shirt for Christmas? Especially something a stranger got them, who doesn't know their size or style!
It makes me wonder why you people are giving. Is it to feel proud of yourselves, and reassure yourself that you're not like those people? Or is it to make a child happy?
I would never ever participate in an angel tree where specific items are requested. The whole point, in my opinion, is that these children are so needy that they will have NOTHING for Christmas if they don't get some help. Anything is better than nothing, so they should just be happy with what they get and not ask for something specific.
If you want to buy an Xbox or ipod, go right ahead. If you want to buy a $5 doll that's fine too. The Christmas spirit is about giving what your heart tells you to give - the dollar value is irrelevant.
Several years ago we were blown away by the generosity of a family at our church. The parents were out of work for several years and the kids were on the list for getting donations. The dad finally got a job, and although the family is no longer in need of donations they are still what I would consider poor.
The children were told they would each be getting a few presents, but that they weren't much because there wasn't any more money. The kids then decided they would give ALL THEIR PRESENTS to a needy family. The parents were touched, but explained that if they did thet, they would have nothing for themselves. The kids replied that they had always gotten presents, even when times were bad, and felt like they could miss out for one year.
That's what they did - they gave everything they had to a needy family. I think they got the best gift possible - they truly understand the spirit of giving.
Odds are the 2 year old requesting expensive electronics is a parent or other relative.
Who plan on either taking it for themselves, or selling it to fund their daily vice (smoking, drinking, or something worse)
The extended family of 12 our group sponsors has young children that will be getting things like soccer balls and dolls, and mostly clothing for the adults.
Cash gifts are used to pay their utilities.
But no cash or near-cash equivalents (e.g. high-value electronics) are given to the family.
I live in New Orleans and own a boat and fish all the time. I do this because I love to fish and to eat fish. However, if you add up the amount of money it takes to buy a boat, pay for gas, buy equipment, bait, etc, it really does not pay off. You'd do better economically to buy the most expensive fish at Whole Foods and eat that instead. However, if you are going to fish anyway, then the food value is an added bonus. On a good trip, you can catch enough fish to have 10-15 meals in your freezer.
My husband's family gave to JPI this year rather than exchanging Hanukkah gifts. The gifts requested by the families were in line with the prison Angel tree program mentioned above: warm winter clothes, general toy ideas. My husband and I agreed on a limit of $30 per person, and went a wee bit over buying Legos for one boy, but we're Lego fans ourselves! At Christmas, we set a limit of $50 for gifts to each other, so it seemed a reasonable cap for people we did not know.
After reading the original post and the ensuing comments, it sounds like the charity you choose to donate through plays a key part. I'll have to check the Salvation Army angel tree in the office cafeteria, and see if the tags are as expensive as some of the wish lists above.
While I agree with most of this article..... One to two squares of toilet paper?! You've got to be kidding! Half a roll is obviously too much, but maybe you're just trying to make a point.....
I used to live in an RV and travel a lot. The shower heads in RV's have a turn off switch so you can turn the water flow off and on. When you turn the water back on to rinse, the water temperature is not affected. And it's very easy to reach. I really like that feature, and miss not having it in my home shower head. Any inventors or designers out there who can design one for the home?
My father suggested we get my niece and nephew a Wii or xBox this year, even though they hadn't asked for such things -- they're 4 and 5 years old... uh uh, I had to discourage it... first I don't want them hooked on that stuff, stuck in front of a TV -- eventually they'll get around to asking, but since they still like going outside to play, I figure we should draw that out as long as possible.. and the number one reason they shouldn't get that stuff is THEY'RE TOO EXPENSIVE!!
So for kids, who have parents that can't even buy them clothes or shoes, I don't think so -- I don't necessarily blame the kids, they're influenced by classmates and the entire consumerism attitude, but in this case my mother would have stepped in and told me what I needed to ask for... not what I wanted to ask for...
I guess our family is lucky in a way, or we're just out of touch - I think my niece and nephew's perspective comes from the fact that we don't put much importance on these fancy expensive items... even though I'm a real gadget queen, with ipods and the lot. So this year their Christmas list came out just as I think it should, a barbie doll, a race car... and they both strangely requested a magic butterfly -- now where do you get one of those?
Currently my halo 3 has a perfect ring of scratch ( deep )
So I tried pledge and used a sponge ( soft side ) and wipe it vertically only to have find that it was useless.
So is there any other way of fixing this deep xbox 360 game scratches?
I am with you, I need the landline. But, as a woman, a cell phone can be a "life saver" literally. A coworker sold me his old Virgin Mobile phone and showed me how to buy the minute plan for $21/quarterly (every three months) and the minutes roll over. So, for 7 dollars a month - I have a working cell phone for emergencies. I did not give out the phone number and I don't have it in my memory - because I only use it to call out if needed. This might work for you. Thanks Cary B for the good advice. When I headed off to Mexico for my dental work (saving 7K over Austin Tx estimates) I was glad to have it in my pocket. There is a long stretch of desolate road and I could call AAA on the cell if needed!
Sorry but my husband's guitars (and most of my instruments) are from yard sales/thrift shops/pawn shops or bought used! You CAN get a guitar for less than $100 if you look aroun
It's a weird entitlement fantasy of the "needy" that all the rest of us are rich folks and $100 here or there won't make a difference. I am sure that they get tired of used stuff- but almost everything I have is used, too! And I don't have an iPod, either!
My husband's students used this rationale as an excuse to lift (i.e. steal) anything that wasn't nailed down! But funny thing, they turned up their noses as slightly outdated technology - so you could leave a perfectly good boom box around! I wish they could get a clue that a degree of THRIFT makes the middle classes...The prevailing attitude of resentment is counter-productive and potentially more. After the L.A. riot the gutters of my Hollywood neighborhood were littered with wrappings from CDs - which had been looted from a local record store. These weren't necessities of life....
In order to make it in the U.S. you have to acquire a good understanding of consumption and your part in it - and it seems that that's not a lesson these kids are learning.
If you want some pine atmosphere but don't have the budget or space for a tree - collect pine boughs (branches to you) that are trimmed from the Xmas trees at your garden center or Xmas tree lot. Then put them in vases/containers. The shape is bushy - but you can even put ornaments on it and have several around the room - Satisfieds my tree urge - and for the rest, I have several little artficial trees which I put up in the apartment - none of which were costly - and which I have had for years....
I have heard about people here in Seattle having large rain catches that store rain water from their gutters. Some people even pipe it into their plumbing for flushing toilets. I have not really researched this for myself, but it may be a way to save on my water bill.
-Dan Malone-
I never really thought those angel trees would have expensive items like ipods on there. I'd never even ask my own parents for one. We've known for years that our "santa" has a $100 limit for each kid.
For something like an ipod, I wonder if the kids say ipod because it's like the scotch tape of mp3 players . I'm guessing if a little girl got a $20 Bratz MP3 player she might be just as excited. That said, it does frustrate me that parents would let their kids request such expensive things from complete strangers.
Our office here is donating to Toys For Tots. It's nice because you can just pick a toy in your price range and the organization will make sure it is given to a needy boy or girl. That way, you can pick how much you want to spend and get something that you really want to give a child.
Wow, this article really struck me. It seems like we make needy kids feel more needy when we focus on what they don't have and what they want. It's terrible that their desire to just "be normal" and keep up with the Joneses is turning off the goodwill of others.
Here's a blogpost I wrote about another take on wishlist trees.
"What child has ever wanted jeans and a shirt for Christmas?"
I did, and still do. I am (and always have been) happy just to get something. To know that someone thought enough of me to get me something, anything. The problem, it seems, is that more and more people aren't happy with the idea of getting a gift because it's a gift that someone decided to give. They HAVE to have a gift theses days. It's a crime if you don't get lots and lots of stuff. If it's a low ticket item (a $10 shirt or a $5 book) forget it. Who wants those things anymore? No. It's Wii's, Xboxes, PSP's, and more.
Sure, we've spent a little more on gifts for each other here (my fiance and I) the last couple of years. But we buy stuff that we need. Table & chair set. Clothes. That sort of thing. Last year I bought my mom a book by her favorite author, and will probably do the same this year. I got clothes (which I needed, ;) and was thankful for) and a gift card to our local grocery store.
EVERYONE needs to be thankful they get what they get. Not just the poor or needy. You, me, the lady down the road. EVERYBODY needs to remember that the holidays shouldn't be about getting expensive presents. They should be about spending time with family and friends.
Its too bad that the charity or bank who setup that tree didn't limit the value of the gifts. They should really set the price value of the gifts at a reasonable level around $25 or less. Our company usually has a gift tree type program and the gifts items are always in the $10-20 range.
Very timely piece, and LOVE the ribbon tip. The stuff that has the wire in the sides so you can form stuff with it is great. But I don't think I've done as many different things with it as you have, though. We are trying to downsize and stay downsized, and since some of my Christmas decorations didn't survive two years in storage, I'm going to be seriously brainstorming ribbon possibilities now that you've shown me the light.
I tend to go shopping at Kmart for boses of tea. I get substantial savings with their clearance prices of 50 cents to $2 per box (20 tea bags) of tea that is usually priced regularly at over $3/box. Ditto for instant coffee on sale and with coupon.
Look, there are greedy jerks in this world. There are people who feel entitled to everything and work for nothing. There are people who would use their children to get things for themselves.
There are also good people struggling in hard times. There are kids who dream and hope and wish... and who don't have conscientious caregivers to teach them the true meaning of anything. There are people in need.
You can't often tell which is which from a card on a tree, and even if you can you should have the same mandate as any other time... to try to see the best in people and focus on the good. If you can give, find a way to give that you can believe in. That's all there is to it. Don't let the rest poison it for you.
There are cheaper options in prepaid than Tracfone (about $100 year)
Once you add $100 in refills (a $100 refill is as low as $85 on sale) to a T-Mobile prepaid phone, all future refills (even the $10 refill) are good for a year.
Page Plus prepaid (a Verizon reseller) offers $10 refills, good for 120 days ($30 every 360 days) - and can be refilled online.
For all the above, unused minutes roll forward.
Now that T-mobile has expanded its coverage here, I'm gradually shifting from Tracfone to T-Mobile for the several prepaid phones I keep.
Many people want to give but can't because requests are so pricey. (We have had the same issue at church.) I would love to see every child have all of their wishes fulfilled, but my pocketbook will not allow it. My kids are getting one present in the $30-40 range each and a couple of small things (including necessities like PJs and underwear). We can't afford the Wii that our oldest son requested or the ride-on dinosaur that our youngest son requested. Likewise, we cannot afford these for others, either. We want to help but are unable to because the "requests" are WAY out of our price range... not because we think these kids don't deserve them.
I agree with the Guest above, who wrote:
______
I still want them. So is a needy child not supposed to want things because he is needy? Is he or she not supposed to wish during the holidays or hope because their parents can't afford to fulfill them?
_______
Keep in mind, most kids are hoping. Many of us do without all year long. When I was younger, Christmas was the time to hope, that maybe you would get that one nice thing that would take you through the rest of the year. I understand the sentiments about kids being materialistic or overly commercialized, but again, it can be really alienating to be left out of what all your peers are doing and talking about, day in and day out. I started working at the age of twelve so I could finally stop feeling so alienated, and while I am still not much for brand names and logos (which marked how many times you wore a shirt), there are two feelings I will never forget:
1. The first time I received exactly what I wanted for Christmas (a portable cd player I used the whole year)
2. The first time I bought exactly what I wanted with my own money.
Give kids some more credit - at this point in their lives, they have to ask for what they want and have little idea of cost. Most will be aware of their circumstances soon enough.
Even though your post is a month old, it's even more relavant now than it was a month ago. My dad, an accounting professor of 20 years, says that a business that can make it during lean times will be even more profitable during the good times. I take that to heart because I am considering starting a business. I appreciate the candidness of the comments and replies on this blog and this website and am glad I found it. Thanks!
hey, you were wondering why fake trees were associated with consumerism and hectic pace in your mind? I suspect it's because of the "Charlie Brown Christmas" special!
What you shouldn't do is judge these children: "Well, they have a lot of nerve wanting what REGULAR kids want. These are poor children! This is charity! They ought to be glad they're getting anything at all!"
Thank you. I hate this attitude that I'm seeing. "Why don't these poor kids live up to my Dickensian fantasy, where they'll be satisfied with whatever I give them and worship me for throwing something their way?! They're getting much too uppity, these poor kids today!" Gross. They're kids! What child has ever wanted jeans and a shirt for Christmas? Especially something a stranger got them, who doesn't know their size or style!
It makes me wonder why you people are giving. Is it to feel proud of yourselves, and reassure yourself that you're not like those people? Or is it to make a child happy?
I would never ever participate in an angel tree where specific items are requested. The whole point, in my opinion, is that these children are so needy that they will have NOTHING for Christmas if they don't get some help. Anything is better than nothing, so they should just be happy with what they get and not ask for something specific.
If you want to buy an Xbox or ipod, go right ahead. If you want to buy a $5 doll that's fine too. The Christmas spirit is about giving what your heart tells you to give - the dollar value is irrelevant.
Several years ago we were blown away by the generosity of a family at our church. The parents were out of work for several years and the kids were on the list for getting donations. The dad finally got a job, and although the family is no longer in need of donations they are still what I would consider poor.
The children were told they would each be getting a few presents, but that they weren't much because there wasn't any more money. The kids then decided they would give ALL THEIR PRESENTS to a needy family. The parents were touched, but explained that if they did thet, they would have nothing for themselves. The kids replied that they had always gotten presents, even when times were bad, and felt like they could miss out for one year.
That's what they did - they gave everything they had to a needy family. I think they got the best gift possible - they truly understand the spirit of giving.
Let's be blunt.
Odds are the 2 year old requesting expensive electronics is a parent or other relative.
Who plan on either taking it for themselves, or selling it to fund their daily vice (smoking, drinking, or something worse)
The extended family of 12 our group sponsors has young children that will be getting things like soccer balls and dolls, and mostly clothing for the adults.
Cash gifts are used to pay their utilities.
But no cash or near-cash equivalents (e.g. high-value electronics) are given to the family.
I live in New Orleans and own a boat and fish all the time. I do this because I love to fish and to eat fish. However, if you add up the amount of money it takes to buy a boat, pay for gas, buy equipment, bait, etc, it really does not pay off. You'd do better economically to buy the most expensive fish at Whole Foods and eat that instead. However, if you are going to fish anyway, then the food value is an added bonus. On a good trip, you can catch enough fish to have 10-15 meals in your freezer.
My husband's family gave to JPI this year rather than exchanging Hanukkah gifts. The gifts requested by the families were in line with the prison Angel tree program mentioned above: warm winter clothes, general toy ideas. My husband and I agreed on a limit of $30 per person, and went a wee bit over buying Legos for one boy, but we're Lego fans ourselves! At Christmas, we set a limit of $50 for gifts to each other, so it seemed a reasonable cap for people we did not know.
After reading the original post and the ensuing comments, it sounds like the charity you choose to donate through plays a key part. I'll have to check the Salvation Army angel tree in the office cafeteria, and see if the tags are as expensive as some of the wish lists above.
Unless you are taking high-dose B vitamins, your urine should be clear.
If not, you need to drink more water.
While I agree with most of this article..... One to two squares of toilet paper?! You've got to be kidding! Half a roll is obviously too much, but maybe you're just trying to make a point.....
I used to live in an RV and travel a lot. The shower heads in RV's have a turn off switch so you can turn the water flow off and on. When you turn the water back on to rinse, the water temperature is not affected. And it's very easy to reach. I really like that feature, and miss not having it in my home shower head. Any inventors or designers out there who can design one for the home?
My father suggested we get my niece and nephew a Wii or xBox this year, even though they hadn't asked for such things -- they're 4 and 5 years old... uh uh, I had to discourage it... first I don't want them hooked on that stuff, stuck in front of a TV -- eventually they'll get around to asking, but since they still like going outside to play, I figure we should draw that out as long as possible.. and the number one reason they shouldn't get that stuff is THEY'RE TOO EXPENSIVE!!
So for kids, who have parents that can't even buy them clothes or shoes, I don't think so -- I don't necessarily blame the kids, they're influenced by classmates and the entire consumerism attitude, but in this case my mother would have stepped in and told me what I needed to ask for... not what I wanted to ask for...
I guess our family is lucky in a way, or we're just out of touch - I think my niece and nephew's perspective comes from the fact that we don't put much importance on these fancy expensive items... even though I'm a real gadget queen, with ipods and the lot. So this year their Christmas list came out just as I think it should, a barbie doll, a race car... and they both strangely requested a magic butterfly -- now where do you get one of those?