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QNAP TS-328 Personal Cloud NAS Storage System

Nas Rules. Who's the best electronic storage? Ain't no best. East, West, North, South, flossed out, greedy. I embrace y'all with napalm and-oh that's a little violent for a write-up, tapping out.

Hardware Specifications:

CPU
Realtek Quad-core ARM Cortex-A53 (64-bit), RTD 1296, 1.4GHz

Encryption Acceleration
Yes

System Memory
2GB DDR4 RAM (not expandable)

Dell 13" & 15" Full-HD Notebooks

Inspiron sounds like a Transformer whose special skill is motivational speaking. Michael Bay, call me.

Specifications:

Processor:
Intel i3-8130U 2.20GHz (Up to 3.40GHz)

Guard Dog Proshield 2 Bulletproof Backpack

Like a regular backpack, but it can withstand a gunshot. It's "ideal for youths." This is a real product that exists. I don't have any jokes. 

Height
20.0'' (50.8 cm)

Width
15.0'' (38.1 cm)

Depth
9.5'' (24.1 cm)

Volume
2,280 cubic inches (37 lts)

Weight
3.86 lb (1753 gr)

In the Box:

  • (1) Guard Dog Security Proshield 2 Black Bulletproof Backpack

Shiatsu Neck and Shoulder Massager with Heat

Much better than asking a coworker for a neck massage, unless you miss the close breathing in your ear and weird comments. And YES, I'm talking about YOU, GLENN. I MADE A REPORT TO HR ALREADY, BUDDY.

In the box:

  • (1) Shiatsu Back Neck and Shoulder Massager with Heat
  • (1) Carry Bag
  • (1) Wall AC Adapter
  • (1) Car Adapter
  • (1) User Manual

Fujifilm FinePix XP130 Waterproof Digital Camera

It's 2018! No one wants to see your vacation slides from Costa Rica again, Marge.

Full Specs Here

Astro 7-in-1 Workbench DIY Work Station

The perfect workbench for any project even if the project is just "owning a workbench." 

Specifications

Function Modes:
7 (workbench, saw horse, scaffold, platform, car creeper, dolly and hand truck)

Weight Capacity:
500 lb capacity in scaffold/platform mode, 330 lb capacity in other modes

Dimensions:
43" x 21.75" work surface, 20.5" to 30.75" height

Weight:
34 lbs.

In the box:

  • (1) Astro Pneumatic 55670 7-in-1 Workbench DIY Work Station

Bruntmor Cast Iron Favorites

I was told to season my pan, but my Man Spice (crushed Doritos and Lawry's Season Salt) didn't seem to stick... I think I'm missing something of the core concept...

Christian Dior Sunglasses

Sunglasses, because wrapping your face in plastic wrap and coloring it in with a marker is dangerous on a lot of different levels.

Saltopia Infused Sea Salts Mixed (3)

Sea salt is great and all, but why don't you ever see lake salt or river salt? Oh right... because of salt water. Stay in school, kids. 

  • See 'Photo Gallery' for Nutrition Information

Leather Messenger and Weekend Bags

If you had to make a sercretive "drop" of incriminating evidence that will suck you into a plot of international intrigue, this is the bag for you!  NOW GET TO THE EMBASSY! {gun shot}