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Selling our home was the best financial decision we have ever made
Hello! My name is Wendy Mays, and I'm super happy to share a bit of my story. In the past couple of years, my husband and I have taken several big steps to change our financial future.
From the outside looking in, it appeared we had it all: a perfect family in a beautiful, Pinterest-worthy home in sunny San Diego, California. We'd reached the pinnacle. We were living the American Dream.
The reality, however, was that we were drowning in debt, burned out, and coming to terms with the fact that if things didn't change, we'd carry our debt to our graves. As we explored changes we could make to improve our financial situation, we realized that the biggest and best move we could make was to sell our dream home.
Turns out that selling our home was the best financial decision we have ever made.
My spending goal for 2020: Spend less on food
I'm pleased to report that 2020 is off to a fine start. As I mentioned in my year-end review, 2019 sucked for me. I have high hopes that this year will be a vast improvement. So far, it has been.
The biggest change is that I'm not drinking alcohol. While this is meant as a January-only test, it's possible that I'll extend the experiment. It's saving me money and making me more productive. Plus, it may be helping with my anxiety and depression. I like that. (Thanks to the GRS readers who sent me private notes about their own struggles with alcohol. I appreciate it.)
I've made other small changes this year too. While I didn't make any resolutions — I rarely do — I'm using the new year as a prompt to alter some of my habits, to do things differently.
My 2019 year in review
On a cold first of December 2000, my car was totalled during morning rush hour. I was cruising along in the slow lane — I drive like an old man — when a tractor-trailer rig changed lanes into my Geo Storm. According to the guy behind me, the car spun around twice (although that seems unlikely) before slamming into a guardrail and coming to a stop.
The entire accident probably took all of five seconds but it seemed more like five minutes in subjective time. From the moment I felt the first jolt, my mind entered a state of hyper awareness. I could see everything happening around me — the truck looming to my left, the airbag deploying, the chaos as the car whirled about, the traffic in other lanes — but I was powerless to do anything about it.
When my vehicle came to a stop, witnesses pulled over and rushed to see if I was okay. I was stunned, but I was fine.
When to follow the rules — and when to break them
Last night's recipe from HelloFresh was Bulgogi Pork Tenderloin. As always, the instructions were clear and easy to follow. As always, it took me about twice as long to prep things as the recipe card said they would.
I chopped the vegetables, boiled the rice, seared the meat, made the sauce. But when I reached the final step — “finish and serve” — I hit a wall of sorts.
“Ugh,” I said to Kim, who was playing with our three cats and one dog simultaneously. “The recipe calls for a tablespoon of butter in the rice. I hate adding butter to rice. It makes it gummy and gross. But HelloFresh always wants me to do it.”
“I like butter in my rice,” Kim said, throwing a bacon ball for the dog while kicking a catnip toy for the cats. “But if you don't like it, don't add it.”
Different strokes for different folks
A couple of weeks ago, I stopped in to visit Prosperity Pie Shoppe, a local dessert and coffee place co-owned by Luna Jaffe. Jaffe is a sort of wonder woman who blends art, psychotherapy, and financial education into something she calls “wild money”. The space that Luna and her partners own isn't only a source of tasty treats; it's also a studio for money coaching.
Over pie and coffee, I chatted with Luna and one of her money coaches, Dryden Driggers. We shared our backgrounds with each other and talked about the direction we'd like to take our work. I think the three of us have a lot of shared viewpoints and visions. I imagine we'll find ways to work together in the future.
How to change careers in 12 months (or less)
After spending a decade as a pastor, I realized in May of 2018 that I was ready to make a drastic career change…into personal finance education.
I’ve always loved to write, so I wanted to first see if I could actually make money writing about personal finance. But I made a commitment to myself. In one year's time, I was going to have a day job where I helped people learn how to handle their money wisely. The question was just in what capacity.
So I set a deadline for myself. If I hadn’t figured out a way by May 2019 to make enough money as a freelance writer to pay the bills, I would get certified as a teacher and apply to be an economics teacher at local high schools.
Wishing for a walkable neighborhood
“You sure slept in late,” I said to Kim this morning.
“I know,” she said. “I was up for two hours in the middle of the night. I was thinking about you. I was thinking about everything we talked about at our family meeting.”
“For two hours?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Kim said. “My wheels were spinning. I was trying to figure out why you've been so unhappy since we moved to this house. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced it's because we don't live in a walkable neighborhood. That's so important for you. I think it makes a real difference to your mental health.”
“I hadn't thought of that,” I said.
Our first annual family meeting
Yesterday, to celebrate Thanksgiving, Kim and I instituted what we hope will become an annual tradition. Yesterday, we held our first annual family meeting.
Kim approached me with the idea last week. “I think it'd be nice to sit down and talk about our goals,” she said.
“I agree,” I said. I was thinking of the article Matthias shared here in August. Matt and his wife create five-year plans to co-ordinate their shared future. They spend a day drafting couple goals to build their dream life. I've been thinking that Kim and I should do something similar.
So, yesterday morning over coffee, we sat down for our a family meeting. We talked about the current state of our household — and we talked about where we'd like to steer things in years to come.
“Playing with FIRE”, the documentary about financial independence and early retirement
In early October 2016, I flew to New York City to attend Ramit Sethi’s Forefront event, a weekend conference about entrepreneurship and excellence. As I always do when travling, I agreed to meet with a few readers and colleagues while I was in town.
One sunny morning in Madison Square Park, for instance, I sat on a bench and chatted with Travis Shakespeare. “I'm a film and television producer,” Travis told me. “But I'm also into the FIRE movement. I just got back from the chautauqua in Ecuador.”
The FIRE movement, of course, is all about financial independence and early retirement. And the chautauquas are annual gatherings for FIRE folks who want to dive deep into the subject. (I've now attended four of these myself.)
Upgrade Complete!
Well, that was unexpected.
After three very hectic months — three crazy months during which I managed to balance travel, speaking engagements, and writing — I essentially went dormant on October 15th.
It's as if I were an electronic device that just received a major software upgrade, then had to shut down and reboot in order to resume normal functionality.
What do I mean?
For the past four weeks, I've done nothing. I sat in the hot tub. I read nerdy sci-fi novels. I watched nerdy sci-fi movies. I played videogames. I walked the dog.
Every morning, I'd sit down at my computer to write…but after an hour or two of answering email and/or curating articles, I'd somehow find myself in the spa again. I'd watch a movie (or Star Trek: Discovery), then get out and do some chores or run some errands.
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