for the comments! Myscha, I love the pie shell freezer plan. I freeze everything else, so this works well with me.
It's funny, because Cowboy pie was something I made up one day after finding NOTHING in the house to eat but a can of beans and some leftover breakfast meats. The kids kept asking, "What is that thing?" So I thought back to the days of the old western movies and rustled up the idea of "cowboy pie." Now the kids beg me to make it for them...
Good to see you're not just lurking in the forums, Will. :)
I hold two cards, an Amex and a Citibank MasterCard, which I juggle to keep the actual payment as far out in the future as I can. I use the Amex until the MasterCard cycle starts, and I use the MC until the Amex cycle begins anew. Tightwads like myself have an aversion to parting with money, and credit cards delay the pain in addition to earning another buck or two in interest. By contrast spendthrifts should use debit cards because they need to form a connection with buying something and having to pay for it.
Also credit cards allow for accurate expense projections. If I know exactly how much my credit card tab will be in the next few weeks, I can plan ahead and update my spreadsheets accordingly.
Well I don't wait for the bill to arrive...I actually pay ahead so I have a Credit Balance on the card.
Mine pays a 1% Cash Back every month applied to the balance for anything bought at other than the Hess Gas Store...there its 5%...even on Gas..(Card is a Hess Branded Visa).
I've noticed they like to play games with the Due Date in an attempt to make Late Payment Fees and Accrue Interest so I don't give them the Chance!!!
The best part is not having to pay for it for two months. I buy something at the beginning of November, I don't have to pay my credit card bill until the end of December. That money can sit in my savings account and earn me a couple extra dollars at no cost.
I think employees should be more open about their salaries with each other. Secret salaries is how employers retain all the power in salary negotiations.
Unfortunately, everyone wants to know what others make but no one wants to share what they themselves make. Lots of people know how much I make, and as far as I know, they all make either "enough", "not enough", or "around that range".
Yup! Everything you just said rings pretty true with us too. One reason I like them better than debits for stuff is that you have major back up if there's a problem. Not usuallly as much the case if you have a problem with your debit account. At least for certain situations that are coming to mind for me. Good post.
Maybe my husband and I are lucky because we can talk to any of our friends and even our family about debt and money. We can even offer our "advice" (more of a "Have you ever thought of doing it this way?" "What do you think of savings/tithing/emergency money/etc?" questioning phase which then leads into an explanation of what we do or would do in their situation) and are listened to.
Maybe it's the way we talk about finances (making sure we don't sound like we have all the answers, but instead put ourselves in the "same boat" as them and offer "possible remedies" that we would try) or maybe it is the strength of our relationships... but we haven't had much problems when it comes to this. It probably also helps that our finances are in very good order (a little "action" speaks louder than words), even though we are not as financial well off. (Case in Point: My sister is "hiding" her financial oopses from the whole family, but us. Instead, we've helped her get a budget together, talked with her about ways she's thinking about paying it off and kept checking in with her to see how it's going.)
For those friends who might take offense at our "advice"... well they're probably really not our friends (more like an acquaintance), they usually just get the "raised eyebrow" look they get when they talk about doing something financially unsound. If they keep hounding the point, then they get the "I don't think that's a good idea." Conversation done... or opened into a whole new discussion.
You can also use a debit card! (if you don't care about frequent flyer miles). I don't like writing checks because when I look at my statement -- I can't tell what the check was for.
I have made well over $600 dollars on my credit card's cash back program since I got it. I have yet to pay a penny in interest. :^)
Be warned that when traveling abroad the use of credit cards is not as wide spread as in the US. (Even in Europe.) Getting cash before you go can save you some expensive exchange fees when you find out that only the larger stores will take your card.
It depends on my group of friends. My college educated friends are fine. The ones that made mistakes, e.g. CC debt, learned their lesson. They cleaned things up immediately when they finished school. Any debt we have is: mortgage, school loans, and/or auto.
My few non-college educated friends, at least 5 years older than I, I don't bother with any more. They never have and never will save money or budget it wisely. They waste money on stupid stuff and eat out a lot. One has $8K in CC debt and once his auto loan is paid off he is going to take out a $7K loan for a toy (original plans were to use equity in his house) instead of heavily paying down the CC. Another friend asked for budgeting help. He did not like it when I said his $250 eat out budget for dating needed to go/shrink when he had debt that needed to be eliminated.
i do buy my meat at a co-op or from costco as well as from the markdown bins, but i found i can save more money on dedicating four dinners and three lunches a week to meatless meals in addition to the sales and co-ops
i might substitute eggs or tuna or some sort of bean or legume in a soup, sandwhich ,salad or burrito.some nights we even go totally vegetarian.
i thought i would have issues with my anemia but i didnt. my nails are acutally stronger my hair is actually shiner and i have the most beautiful cholesterol my doctor has ever seen for me.i was terrified my kids would be traumatized and their tears would flow like a river but they didnt...their acutally happier.
i also treat meat more like a side dish or condiment versus the main dish and shaved over $200 on our grocery bill and inches off everyone in my family's waist. when we occasionally eat steak or ribs its a huge deal and everyone savors it like its their last meal or a grand feast of some sort. its made us be more greatful and alot healthier to.
now on this one i believe i may need physciatric help on!
i got really frustrated at buying purses from cheap stores and having them fall apart in a few months...my $20 had really become a four time a year total waste of money and time. so now i case out the good wills and thrift stores in the rich parts of town or where i know the rich people donate and i anxiously await for their castoffs like a kid on christmas. I have found beautiful leather name brand purses even desighner purses for $1-$5 each :) needless to say i have not bought a new purse in several years...I always get compliments on my purses they always look great and stand the test of time.i even do my little purse prayer prior to walking into the store, and i always do the happy dance when i score a really great deal.even if i was a millionare i know i would buy my purses this way. its not just the discount i recieve but its the exciting thrill of the hunt as well!
Our town has a program called FareShare sponsered through one of the churches. It is not income based but instead is focused on volunteering. For a voucher stating that you voluntered for 2 hours that month (Church, School, Scouts, coaching or working @ the FairShare) plus a very modest amount you get a food package easily worth 3x what you paid. Our program has different packages, like a grill one in the summer or smaller versions of the regular one for smaller consumers & holiday packages. For example the Thanksgiving one would have almost everything that we might typically buy for that meal. Same for Christmas & Easter. The regular package usually has 4-6 pounds of meat, a bag of potatoes, onions, dried staple items such as pasta, canned goods, rice & then a good amount of fruit & veggies. There is nothing wrong with the food, some of the items are (esp the meat) didn't meet another institution's order specifications, like say X school ordered 4 oz pork patties & instead the company made 4.5 oz patties - this would be a typical item. The canned or non perishable items might be a brand you aren't familiar with but are perfectly good items. The drawbacks are that in this area you do have to order about 2-3 weeks ahead & the day to pickup your food is specific. Anything that I knew we wouldn't eat that was perishable I would ask them to put aside for someone who would use that item & canned goods that went unopened were set aside for scouting for food or other community food pantry drives. In some areas this might be called FareForAll.
Recently, I had a friend who had a lien against her account. It turned out to be a bogus claim, but regardless, she ended up having her bank account frozen for twice the amount of the debt (2,600 dollars) for 3 weeks. This is a 32 year old woman who works in finance. That money was the content of her checking account. She could not pay bills (which she had a lot) and barely got by. I gave her money and I figured at that point, I probably had the right to give her a little kind advice. Does it worry her that at 32 years old, having made no major purchases (house, car, education etc) that she had no savings? Imagine living from pay check to paycheck on 75K a year (which is a nice chunk of change for most of us). I didn't beat her over the head with it. She is a grown woman and hopefully, this will have scared her enough...sometimes the $40. GAP jeans are fine, you can forgo the $250 jeans from Bloomingdales or heaven forbid, forgo a new pair of jeans.
It's so funny, my friends are more forth coming about an STD than financial debt.
EmSaidSo - I recall that "How much money do you make" was one of the most common questions I was asked living in a Turkish area of Western China. It wasn't behavior specific to the Turkish population - everyone asked. It was kind of refreshing, actually, and a good way to know if you were being screwed over on your salary (turns out that I was).
I tried to talk to my friend about his debt but it didn't work. He didn't listen and his views about what he could and should spend money on are scary.
I have issues with speaking my mind with my friends, financial or not, and I just blogged about the last time I blabbed about something that was none of my business.
I try not to give advice that wasn't asked for, but when I really care and the friend is close, I do give suggestions and then drop it. Actually, my best friend and I talk about everything, and money is a part of that. Guess it depends on the relationship.
As a general rule, I don't dispense unsolicited advice, financial or otherwise-- except as a blogger and I hope only to give my perspective. However, I am always ready to give my advice if asked. Sometimes people make what seem to be unwise decisions because of 1) lack of knowledge, 2) poor decision-making skills and 3) information that is unknown and makes a person's situation unique. Telling someone if/when to have children, I'd stay way away from that one for a jillion reasons, beginning with "it's none of my business."
For giving and receiving financial advice, and discussing financial matters, well some people get that there are many ways to live, spend, and invest and some don't.
Not too long ago, I had an invited guest (who happened to be relatively new in the financial business with just some basic licenses -- not a Chartered Financial Consultant or Certified Financial Planner) who tried to give me financial advice -- at least I think that's what he was doing. I can't tell you how uncomfortable that made me feel: not sure if he was trying to give me a sales pitch or if he thought he could help. Rather than make a guest feel bad (I am using other resources/more experienced professionals for advice including my own research), I said nothing.
So Andrea, I think you are right to drop the topic -- such discussions work only when both sides are willing to listen and consider varying viewpoints (it doesn't sound like your friend is willing at the moment). I do wonder though if people justify their own decisions (and perhaps messes in your friend's case) by fervently advancing a particular point of view.
I don't intentionally discuss money with my friends, but I am open about my situation. I refer to my debt, my choices to do things cheaper, and possibly moonlight. I openly discuss my curb shopping (dumpster diving) finds and love "shopping" in one of my friends slightly upscale neighborhood. However, my set of friends has a wide range of money income and debt situations, so it can be difficult to be entirely frugal. But, on the plus side, there isn't much judgement, so it works out.
Wow, I thought you meant "hot plate" but it was a typo. I never knew such a technique existed. Thanks Nora, that's very interesting!
Wow, this is the first time I've heard of this. I'd be scared to do it, but it is interesting!
Great post... I agree completely..
If everyone was as skillful with their cards, they wouldn't be free, so we should thank all those that charge through the roofs ;)
Great post, even if it only rings true and logical to a small niche group.
for the comments! Myscha, I love the pie shell freezer plan. I freeze everything else, so this works well with me.
It's funny, because Cowboy pie was something I made up one day after finding NOTHING in the house to eat but a can of beans and some leftover breakfast meats. The kids kept asking, "What is that thing?" So I thought back to the days of the old western movies and rustled up the idea of "cowboy pie." Now the kids beg me to make it for them...
Good to see you're not just lurking in the forums, Will. :)
I hold two cards, an Amex and a Citibank MasterCard, which I juggle to keep the actual payment as far out in the future as I can. I use the Amex until the MasterCard cycle starts, and I use the MC until the Amex cycle begins anew. Tightwads like myself have an aversion to parting with money, and credit cards delay the pain in addition to earning another buck or two in interest. By contrast spendthrifts should use debit cards because they need to form a connection with buying something and having to pay for it.
Also credit cards allow for accurate expense projections. If I know exactly how much my credit card tab will be in the next few weeks, I can plan ahead and update my spreadsheets accordingly.
Well I don't wait for the bill to arrive...I actually pay ahead so I have a Credit Balance on the card.
Mine pays a 1% Cash Back every month applied to the balance for anything bought at other than the Hess Gas Store...there its 5%...even on Gas..(Card is a Hess Branded Visa).
I've noticed they like to play games with the Due Date in an attempt to make Late Payment Fees and Accrue Interest so I don't give them the Chance!!!
~ Roland
...offer all except the 1st point.
The best part is not having to pay for it for two months. I buy something at the beginning of November, I don't have to pay my credit card bill until the end of December. That money can sit in my savings account and earn me a couple extra dollars at no cost.
I think employees should be more open about their salaries with each other. Secret salaries is how employers retain all the power in salary negotiations.
Unfortunately, everyone wants to know what others make but no one wants to share what they themselves make. Lots of people know how much I make, and as far as I know, they all make either "enough", "not enough", or "around that range".
Yup! Everything you just said rings pretty true with us too. One reason I like them better than debits for stuff is that you have major back up if there's a problem. Not usuallly as much the case if you have a problem with your debit account. At least for certain situations that are coming to mind for me. Good post.
Maybe my husband and I are lucky because we can talk to any of our friends and even our family about debt and money. We can even offer our "advice" (more of a "Have you ever thought of doing it this way?" "What do you think of savings/tithing/emergency money/etc?" questioning phase which then leads into an explanation of what we do or would do in their situation) and are listened to.
Maybe it's the way we talk about finances (making sure we don't sound like we have all the answers, but instead put ourselves in the "same boat" as them and offer "possible remedies" that we would try) or maybe it is the strength of our relationships... but we haven't had much problems when it comes to this. It probably also helps that our finances are in very good order (a little "action" speaks louder than words), even though we are not as financial well off. (Case in Point: My sister is "hiding" her financial oopses from the whole family, but us. Instead, we've helped her get a budget together, talked with her about ways she's thinking about paying it off and kept checking in with her to see how it's going.)
For those friends who might take offense at our "advice"... well they're probably really not our friends (more like an acquaintance), they usually just get the "raised eyebrow" look they get when they talk about doing something financially unsound. If they keep hounding the point, then they get the "I don't think that's a good idea." Conversation done... or opened into a whole new discussion.
You can also use a debit card! (if you don't care about frequent flyer miles). I don't like writing checks because when I look at my statement -- I can't tell what the check was for.
I have made well over $600 dollars on my credit card's cash back program since I got it. I have yet to pay a penny in interest. :^)
Be warned that when traveling abroad the use of credit cards is not as wide spread as in the US. (Even in Europe.) Getting cash before you go can save you some expensive exchange fees when you find out that only the larger stores will take your card.
It depends on my group of friends. My college educated friends are fine. The ones that made mistakes, e.g. CC debt, learned their lesson. They cleaned things up immediately when they finished school. Any debt we have is: mortgage, school loans, and/or auto.
My few non-college educated friends, at least 5 years older than I, I don't bother with any more. They never have and never will save money or budget it wisely. They waste money on stupid stuff and eat out a lot. One has $8K in CC debt and once his auto loan is paid off he is going to take out a $7K loan for a toy (original plans were to use equity in his house) instead of heavily paying down the CC. Another friend asked for budgeting help. He did not like it when I said his $250 eat out budget for dating needed to go/shrink when he had debt that needed to be eliminated.
i do buy my meat at a co-op or from costco as well as from the markdown bins, but i found i can save more money on dedicating four dinners and three lunches a week to meatless meals in addition to the sales and co-ops
i might substitute eggs or tuna or some sort of bean or legume in a soup, sandwhich ,salad or burrito.some nights we even go totally vegetarian.
i thought i would have issues with my anemia but i didnt. my nails are acutally stronger my hair is actually shiner and i have the most beautiful cholesterol my doctor has ever seen for me.i was terrified my kids would be traumatized and their tears would flow like a river but they didnt...their acutally happier.
i also treat meat more like a side dish or condiment versus the main dish and shaved over $200 on our grocery bill and inches off everyone in my family's waist. when we occasionally eat steak or ribs its a huge deal and everyone savors it like its their last meal or a grand feast of some sort. its made us be more greatful and alot healthier to.
now on this one i believe i may need physciatric help on!
i got really frustrated at buying purses from cheap stores and having them fall apart in a few months...my $20 had really become a four time a year total waste of money and time. so now i case out the good wills and thrift stores in the rich parts of town or where i know the rich people donate and i anxiously await for their castoffs like a kid on christmas. I have found beautiful leather name brand purses even desighner purses for $1-$5 each :) needless to say i have not bought a new purse in several years...I always get compliments on my purses they always look great and stand the test of time.i even do my little purse prayer prior to walking into the store, and i always do the happy dance when i score a really great deal.even if i was a millionare i know i would buy my purses this way. its not just the discount i recieve but its the exciting thrill of the hunt as well!
Our town has a program called FareShare sponsered through one of the churches. It is not income based but instead is focused on volunteering. For a voucher stating that you voluntered for 2 hours that month (Church, School, Scouts, coaching or working @ the FairShare) plus a very modest amount you get a food package easily worth 3x what you paid. Our program has different packages, like a grill one in the summer or smaller versions of the regular one for smaller consumers & holiday packages. For example the Thanksgiving one would have almost everything that we might typically buy for that meal. Same for Christmas & Easter. The regular package usually has 4-6 pounds of meat, a bag of potatoes, onions, dried staple items such as pasta, canned goods, rice & then a good amount of fruit & veggies. There is nothing wrong with the food, some of the items are (esp the meat) didn't meet another institution's order specifications, like say X school ordered 4 oz pork patties & instead the company made 4.5 oz patties - this would be a typical item. The canned or non perishable items might be a brand you aren't familiar with but are perfectly good items. The drawbacks are that in this area you do have to order about 2-3 weeks ahead & the day to pickup your food is specific. Anything that I knew we wouldn't eat that was perishable I would ask them to put aside for someone who would use that item & canned goods that went unopened were set aside for scouting for food or other community food pantry drives. In some areas this might be called FareForAll.
Recently, I had a friend who had a lien against her account. It turned out to be a bogus claim, but regardless, she ended up having her bank account frozen for twice the amount of the debt (2,600 dollars) for 3 weeks. This is a 32 year old woman who works in finance. That money was the content of her checking account. She could not pay bills (which she had a lot) and barely got by. I gave her money and I figured at that point, I probably had the right to give her a little kind advice. Does it worry her that at 32 years old, having made no major purchases (house, car, education etc) that she had no savings? Imagine living from pay check to paycheck on 75K a year (which is a nice chunk of change for most of us). I didn't beat her over the head with it. She is a grown woman and hopefully, this will have scared her enough...sometimes the $40. GAP jeans are fine, you can forgo the $250 jeans from Bloomingdales or heaven forbid, forgo a new pair of jeans.
It's so funny, my friends are more forth coming about an STD than financial debt.
Are you running out of fresh ideas for supper? Are you also running out of meat and fresh veggies?
Yes and yes. =)
Thanks for the tips Linsey.
EmSaidSo - I recall that "How much money do you make" was one of the most common questions I was asked living in a Turkish area of Western China. It wasn't behavior specific to the Turkish population - everyone asked. It was kind of refreshing, actually, and a good way to know if you were being screwed over on your salary (turns out that I was).
I tried to talk to my friend about his debt but it didn't work. He didn't listen and his views about what he could and should spend money on are scary.
I have issues with speaking my mind with my friends, financial or not, and I just blogged about the last time I blabbed about something that was none of my business.
I try not to give advice that wasn't asked for, but when I really care and the friend is close, I do give suggestions and then drop it. Actually, my best friend and I talk about everything, and money is a part of that. Guess it depends on the relationship.
As a general rule, I don't dispense unsolicited advice, financial or otherwise-- except as a blogger and I hope only to give my perspective. However, I am always ready to give my advice if asked. Sometimes people make what seem to be unwise decisions because of 1) lack of knowledge, 2) poor decision-making skills and 3) information that is unknown and makes a person's situation unique. Telling someone if/when to have children, I'd stay way away from that one for a jillion reasons, beginning with "it's none of my business."
For giving and receiving financial advice, and discussing financial matters, well some people get that there are many ways to live, spend, and invest and some don't.
Not too long ago, I had an invited guest (who happened to be relatively new in the financial business with just some basic licenses -- not a Chartered Financial Consultant or Certified Financial Planner) who tried to give me financial advice -- at least I think that's what he was doing. I can't tell you how uncomfortable that made me feel: not sure if he was trying to give me a sales pitch or if he thought he could help. Rather than make a guest feel bad (I am using other resources/more experienced professionals for advice including my own research), I said nothing.
So Andrea, I think you are right to drop the topic -- such discussions work only when both sides are willing to listen and consider varying viewpoints (it doesn't sound like your friend is willing at the moment). I do wonder though if people justify their own decisions (and perhaps messes in your friend's case) by fervently advancing a particular point of view.
I don't intentionally discuss money with my friends, but I am open about my situation. I refer to my debt, my choices to do things cheaper, and possibly moonlight. I openly discuss my curb shopping (dumpster diving) finds and love "shopping" in one of my friends slightly upscale neighborhood. However, my set of friends has a wide range of money income and debt situations, so it can be difficult to be entirely frugal. But, on the plus side, there isn't much judgement, so it works out.