It's funny, but I never viewed "middle class" as being defined by things but rather by tax bracket. Maybe it's strange, but that's how I was raised. My mother made a very "upper middle class" salary, but was frugal. We had the basics not to be picked on, but my mother taught us to choose what was important to us. I have raised my kids the same way. They have, I just acquire things in a different way. My daughter has a Dell Inspiron, but I bought it on Black Friday, and her grandmother and I went halves on it for Christmas. She has an android which I bought at Target with mostly gift cards from deals combined with a sale and it's Virgin Mobile. She also buys the base of her clothes at the mall with gift cards I buy at a discount online, then fills in her wardrobe at Plato's Closet. I personally could care less what people think of me, my house, or my car. Yet, I don't want my children to be social outcasts. I don't know if the balance of my savings account makes me "middle class" but it certainly makes me feel smart and secure.
It's hard not to be swayed by family, friends and the environment..especially people you like and admire like those in your peer group. Still-you have to live the life that makes the most sense for you. And even though it's little consolation-those who live frugally now will often live better in their later years while their friends pay down debt.
One great thing about the recession is that I think it has stripped away a lot of the layers of consumerism. I think being frugal is something that will continue to be commended and pushed into the mainstream.
You say "there are reasons to blend in with the dominant culture, rather than stand out. There are advantages to appearing middle class." However, you never actually answer that what those reasons are. I mean, I can answer them for myself, but you wrote an article on why it might be good to pass for middle class so I would expect an answer in there.
@Jeff: there are many other ways to fund college besides debt. Additionally, there is no way I'd let him live with me past 18. Anyway, my parents didn't save for my college either. I just chose to go to public university that was already affordable for them. If you really think that borrowing 200k for college is the only way to do it then you haven't looked hard enough at the alternatives.
We are currently in this situation. Thanks to poor planning on our part, a few years ago when we found out that we had a child on the way we knew we'd need to find a better house, and with the market drastically cutting prices here in Michigan we knew we could find a lot of house for not a lot of money. We also knew that we couldn't sell the existing house without likely doing a short sale.
So, we bought a new house and held onto the old house and after about six months finally found a tenant. It's not in a prime location for a rental property, but just getting somebody in there to help recover some of the costs was helpful. The tenant wasn't a model tenant by any stretch of the imagination and they were regularly late on payments, so that was kind of stressful at the time, but still better to get some money rather than no money.
But due to the late payments we didn't renew their lease at the end of the first year and kicked them out. I guess it was a bit of a blessing in disguise because it just happened that we had some family members in need of affordable housing so we offered to help them out and rent to them. So far it seems to be working out quite well.
Of course, I'd rather not have the house at all and remain hassle-free, but being able to avoid a short sale or foreclosure has been nice, and after a couple of years of maintaining a not so profitable rental instead, there should be enough equity in the house to come out in positive territory.
I don't attend networking events, mainly because I'm still at a stage in my life where, as a student, I don't have much to offer anybody. Maybe when I'm about to graduate from medical school, I'll have something to offer!
Only 30% of people have a college degree because their parents didn't have means to save for their education. I would guess that many of these readers do have the means, and therefore should be saving. Also, to your point about most children not caring for their parents, I have a stat for you. 73% of people with a chronic illness over the age of 65 receive care at home and that care is provided by a family member, often times their children (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: National Clearinghouse for Long-Term Care Information, 2010).
Although certainly 'Middle class' started out as an economic marker, I think to a lot of folks it is now more of a values marker. Middle class represents hard working, law abiding, church going, great to have as a neighbor values that most of us admire - check out the book Middle Class Millionaires if you need added support for that statement.
There used to be a certain look down the nose attitude towards folks who are thrifty, but I think in the last 5 years a lot of that has disappeared as more of the nations have had to cut back.
Xin, you will not be independent from your child when you are older. By not saving for his education, he will be undoubtedly be in significant debt and therefore, will be living with you until he is 35.
529 plans are the best thing to come around for parents looking to save for college education. If they were around when we were growing up, our parents probably would've been contributing. In most of the responses I've read to other commenters, you say "save for retirement before college". I agree with that approach, as you can't take out a loan for retirement, but the more prudent advice would be to do both.
Obviously everyone has different income levels, but most likely, your highest earning years will be when your kids are already in college or already out of college. Catch-up provisions on IRAs and 401(k)s allow you to invest more later in life to "catch up" on retirement savings. I, for one, would rather do that then have to watch my kids saddled with $200k of student loan debt that will hang over them until their 30s. Your $100/month contribution will not cover half of a semester in 15 years. It's great that you want to teach your child a life lesson in working hard and earning your keep, but you could be starting him off in a very difficult position right out of college.
We did this, and were we ever sorry. Stress? That's what you call it? Long-distance mental torture is more like it. Trashed? Every time you change tenants, it will cost you at least thrice whatever security deposit you're holding to get the place back into habitable shape. No pay? Your security deposit usually becomes the last month's rent...if you're lucky. And then you have to worry about the neighborhood, which goes downhill quick the more houses are rented instead of owner-occupied. The last time I Google Earthed our old neighborhood, it looked like one of those places where Sally Struthers would make commercials.
We bought this house for $45,000 in 1987. Nineteen-fricken-87. Ronald Reagan and Michael Gorbachev were still heads of state, Michael Jackson still made hit records, gas was 69 cents a gallon, and the New York Mets were the defending world champions of baseball - A quarter of a century ago. We sold it two months ago for $25K, and were glad to get that.
Being a landlord just plain sucks unless you have deep pockets, a thick skin, and no soul.
@Frank, I think "fitting in" can be more important than many people realize, especially if you have kids. One of the great things about being a parent is that you have the chance to pass on your values and help form a solid core for your child's development. That being said, it can help your kids socially for your family to appear at least somewhat "normal" or "middle class" or however you want to describe it while still living a frugal lifestyle and passing the message on to your kids that frugal/simple living is valuable. It's easy to say that you shouldn't fit in for fitting in's sake, but try explaining that to a ten-year old who is being made fun of for wearing out-of-style second-hand clothes. Finding a way to pass for middle class makes a good deal of sense in that context.
Fitting in can of course be helpful for people without children, but I think it's worth mention that while many simple living maxims and approaches can be uncompromisingly implemented by adults with no constraints, it can be harder for families with
I agree. Sometimes "passing" just makes life simpler, especially when you work in a traditional 9-to-5 office environment. Flying under the radar at work keeps me from being judged by coworkers and supervisors who don't understand people who eschew their "Affluenza" lifestyle. Thrift-store shopping, cooking from scratch, limited personal possessions, and aggressive retirement savings doesn't fit with their upper-middle-class worldview, and I have no interest in continually explaining/defending my values. So my wardrobe is current enough to be inconspicuous and I drive an nice (paid-for) 5-year-old car known for reliable longevity. I'm definitely not "with-it", but I'm also not so far outside the norm to draw much attention. It undoubtedly helps that I'm older (59) and considered to be a bit of an introverted intellectual. "Passing" would be much harder if I was involved in the dating scene, socially outgoing, or had children with constant peer-fueled needs and wants.
I really like the thought behind this statement: My starting point is always that you should live your life according to your own values. Couldn't agree more!
I think one of the best things a family can do is to follow this advice even if there are two breadwinners in a family - if at all possible. Lots of people get married with the hope that one spouse will eventually stay home with children, only to find they've established a standard of living that just isn't possible after losing a chunk of income. Not everyone can do this, but for those who can living beneath your means, and teaching children to do the same can mean a huge financial payoff.
I'm not a morning person at all but having a young child has forced my typical wake up time to between 6 and 7 AM. When I can focus myself to do something other than complain about it (i.e. running or gettting to work early) I feel so much better. Also, having more time to spend with my family and friends in the late afternoon or early evening is a great bonus.
I love the idea of mixing some different kinds of liquor with a fresh summer beer. I like having a few cold ones, but sometimes they fill be up before I can get a buzz on! I like these recipes for adding an extra kick to a drink to have at a cookout. Some of these sound really yummy- the French Farmer? Who would have thought of that! mmmm
This is a really great set of tips, and I think the one you listed first is the precursor for how you and your roommate will cohabit ate and get a long. Making sure you set rules for how the space will be maintained, how costs will be shared,and even setting up a cleaning schedule, will allow you to avoid many arguments and will prevent your roommate relationship from suffering. Living with someone else is always hard, but if you flat out voice the way you'd like the apartment or house to be shared, it will be a lot easier.
I think most people living a frugal lifestyle define the middle class. The imposters who live to impress others have corrupted and stolen our class. :). If you are living your life to try to meet a standard set by the " joneses " then you have bigger problems to take care of before you try to live simple and frugal.
I understand the point you are making in this article, but I truly dont see a benefit of fitting in for the sake of fitting in.
It's funny, but I never viewed "middle class" as being defined by things but rather by tax bracket. Maybe it's strange, but that's how I was raised. My mother made a very "upper middle class" salary, but was frugal. We had the basics not to be picked on, but my mother taught us to choose what was important to us. I have raised my kids the same way. They have, I just acquire things in a different way. My daughter has a Dell Inspiron, but I bought it on Black Friday, and her grandmother and I went halves on it for Christmas. She has an android which I bought at Target with mostly gift cards from deals combined with a sale and it's Virgin Mobile. She also buys the base of her clothes at the mall with gift cards I buy at a discount online, then fills in her wardrobe at Plato's Closet. I personally could care less what people think of me, my house, or my car. Yet, I don't want my children to be social outcasts. I don't know if the balance of my savings account makes me "middle class" but it certainly makes me feel smart and secure.
It's hard not to be swayed by family, friends and the environment..especially people you like and admire like those in your peer group. Still-you have to live the life that makes the most sense for you. And even though it's little consolation-those who live frugally now will often live better in their later years while their friends pay down debt.
One great thing about the recession is that I think it has stripped away a lot of the layers of consumerism. I think being frugal is something that will continue to be commended and pushed into the mainstream.
I found great online passport photo service.
http://www.onlinepassportphoto.com/
I got 6 high quality passport photos for as low as $7! And their service is great and very quick. Amazing!
You say "there are reasons to blend in with the dominant culture, rather than stand out. There are advantages to appearing middle class." However, you never actually answer that what those reasons are. I mean, I can answer them for myself, but you wrote an article on why it might be good to pass for middle class so I would expect an answer in there.
Don't ingest number 7 then number 12.
@Jeff: there are many other ways to fund college besides debt. Additionally, there is no way I'd let him live with me past 18. Anyway, my parents didn't save for my college either. I just chose to go to public university that was already affordable for them. If you really think that borrowing 200k for college is the only way to do it then you haven't looked hard enough at the alternatives.
We are currently in this situation. Thanks to poor planning on our part, a few years ago when we found out that we had a child on the way we knew we'd need to find a better house, and with the market drastically cutting prices here in Michigan we knew we could find a lot of house for not a lot of money. We also knew that we couldn't sell the existing house without likely doing a short sale.
So, we bought a new house and held onto the old house and after about six months finally found a tenant. It's not in a prime location for a rental property, but just getting somebody in there to help recover some of the costs was helpful. The tenant wasn't a model tenant by any stretch of the imagination and they were regularly late on payments, so that was kind of stressful at the time, but still better to get some money rather than no money.
But due to the late payments we didn't renew their lease at the end of the first year and kicked them out. I guess it was a bit of a blessing in disguise because it just happened that we had some family members in need of affordable housing so we offered to help them out and rent to them. So far it seems to be working out quite well.
Of course, I'd rather not have the house at all and remain hassle-free, but being able to avoid a short sale or foreclosure has been nice, and after a couple of years of maintaining a not so profitable rental instead, there should be enough equity in the house to come out in positive territory.
YNAB software is amazing.
I don't attend networking events, mainly because I'm still at a stage in my life where, as a student, I don't have much to offer anybody. Maybe when I'm about to graduate from medical school, I'll have something to offer!
Only 30% of people have a college degree because their parents didn't have means to save for their education. I would guess that many of these readers do have the means, and therefore should be saving. Also, to your point about most children not caring for their parents, I have a stat for you. 73% of people with a chronic illness over the age of 65 receive care at home and that care is provided by a family member, often times their children (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: National Clearinghouse for Long-Term Care Information, 2010).
Although certainly 'Middle class' started out as an economic marker, I think to a lot of folks it is now more of a values marker. Middle class represents hard working, law abiding, church going, great to have as a neighbor values that most of us admire - check out the book Middle Class Millionaires if you need added support for that statement.
There used to be a certain look down the nose attitude towards folks who are thrifty, but I think in the last 5 years a lot of that has disappeared as more of the nations have had to cut back.
Xin, you will not be independent from your child when you are older. By not saving for his education, he will be undoubtedly be in significant debt and therefore, will be living with you until he is 35.
529 plans are the best thing to come around for parents looking to save for college education. If they were around when we were growing up, our parents probably would've been contributing. In most of the responses I've read to other commenters, you say "save for retirement before college". I agree with that approach, as you can't take out a loan for retirement, but the more prudent advice would be to do both.
Obviously everyone has different income levels, but most likely, your highest earning years will be when your kids are already in college or already out of college. Catch-up provisions on IRAs and 401(k)s allow you to invest more later in life to "catch up" on retirement savings. I, for one, would rather do that then have to watch my kids saddled with $200k of student loan debt that will hang over them until their 30s. Your $100/month contribution will not cover half of a semester in 15 years. It's great that you want to teach your child a life lesson in working hard and earning your keep, but you could be starting him off in a very difficult position right out of college.
ZOMG! NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We did this, and were we ever sorry. Stress? That's what you call it? Long-distance mental torture is more like it. Trashed? Every time you change tenants, it will cost you at least thrice whatever security deposit you're holding to get the place back into habitable shape. No pay? Your security deposit usually becomes the last month's rent...if you're lucky. And then you have to worry about the neighborhood, which goes downhill quick the more houses are rented instead of owner-occupied. The last time I Google Earthed our old neighborhood, it looked like one of those places where Sally Struthers would make commercials.
We bought this house for $45,000 in 1987. Nineteen-fricken-87. Ronald Reagan and Michael Gorbachev were still heads of state, Michael Jackson still made hit records, gas was 69 cents a gallon, and the New York Mets were the defending world champions of baseball - A quarter of a century ago. We sold it two months ago for $25K, and were glad to get that.
Being a landlord just plain sucks unless you have deep pockets, a thick skin, and no soul.
@Frank, I think "fitting in" can be more important than many people realize, especially if you have kids. One of the great things about being a parent is that you have the chance to pass on your values and help form a solid core for your child's development. That being said, it can help your kids socially for your family to appear at least somewhat "normal" or "middle class" or however you want to describe it while still living a frugal lifestyle and passing the message on to your kids that frugal/simple living is valuable. It's easy to say that you shouldn't fit in for fitting in's sake, but try explaining that to a ten-year old who is being made fun of for wearing out-of-style second-hand clothes. Finding a way to pass for middle class makes a good deal of sense in that context.
Fitting in can of course be helpful for people without children, but I think it's worth mention that while many simple living maxims and approaches can be uncompromisingly implemented by adults with no constraints, it can be harder for families with
I agree. Sometimes "passing" just makes life simpler, especially when you work in a traditional 9-to-5 office environment. Flying under the radar at work keeps me from being judged by coworkers and supervisors who don't understand people who eschew their "Affluenza" lifestyle. Thrift-store shopping, cooking from scratch, limited personal possessions, and aggressive retirement savings doesn't fit with their upper-middle-class worldview, and I have no interest in continually explaining/defending my values. So my wardrobe is current enough to be inconspicuous and I drive an nice (paid-for) 5-year-old car known for reliable longevity. I'm definitely not "with-it", but I'm also not so far outside the norm to draw much attention. It undoubtedly helps that I'm older (59) and considered to be a bit of an introverted intellectual. "Passing" would be much harder if I was involved in the dating scene, socially outgoing, or had children with constant peer-fueled needs and wants.
Very well said! I think of myself as middle class but do not have most of those markers.
I really like the thought behind this statement: My starting point is always that you should live your life according to your own values. Couldn't agree more!
I think one of the best things a family can do is to follow this advice even if there are two breadwinners in a family - if at all possible. Lots of people get married with the hope that one spouse will eventually stay home with children, only to find they've established a standard of living that just isn't possible after losing a chunk of income. Not everyone can do this, but for those who can living beneath your means, and teaching children to do the same can mean a huge financial payoff.
Great article. Way to many homeowners think that renting their old home is a quick/easy fix, when in reality there are a ton of things to consider.
I'm not a morning person at all but having a young child has forced my typical wake up time to between 6 and 7 AM. When I can focus myself to do something other than complain about it (i.e. running or gettting to work early) I feel so much better. Also, having more time to spend with my family and friends in the late afternoon or early evening is a great bonus.
I love the idea of mixing some different kinds of liquor with a fresh summer beer. I like having a few cold ones, but sometimes they fill be up before I can get a buzz on! I like these recipes for adding an extra kick to a drink to have at a cookout. Some of these sound really yummy- the French Farmer? Who would have thought of that! mmmm
This is a really great set of tips, and I think the one you listed first is the precursor for how you and your roommate will cohabit ate and get a long. Making sure you set rules for how the space will be maintained, how costs will be shared,and even setting up a cleaning schedule, will allow you to avoid many arguments and will prevent your roommate relationship from suffering. Living with someone else is always hard, but if you flat out voice the way you'd like the apartment or house to be shared, it will be a lot easier.
With 5 weddings this summer, it's not going to be frugal for us! Thanks for the link!
I think most people living a frugal lifestyle define the middle class. The imposters who live to impress others have corrupted and stolen our class. :). If you are living your life to try to meet a standard set by the " joneses " then you have bigger problems to take care of before you try to live simple and frugal.
I understand the point you are making in this article, but I truly dont see a benefit of fitting in for the sake of fitting in.