Just last night on Letterman, Adam Sandler hosted and said the exact same thing: claim Diarrhea.
I've got a buddy who's gotten out of two tickets. Once, he got the officer to agree that it was such a "nice road" that he was very suprised he was speeding. Since the road used to be cratered and bumpy, he just marveled at the new paving job and that it didn't seem like it should be a 25 mph road since it was so nice, and black, with double lines. Finally, while the cop was marveling at the road work, my friend said, "welp!" as if to say "this conversation is over" and the cop just told him to have a good day! Hilarious.
The other time was that he got pulled over for a burnt out tail light. He played the "I'm so glad you stopped me" angle, and asked the cop for help figuring out how he'd get the light replaced. Even asked if he could look at it with him. This was one of those po-dunk towns who's source of income was traffic tickets, so that's why it was so important to stroke the cop's ego by making him a "protect and serve" cop instead of a traffic cop.
One day a guy was driving down a road around 90mph when a cop pulled him over after a bridge.
Cop: "why were you driving so fast?
Guy: "I have to get to my job
Cop: "what do you do?
Guy" I'm a rectum stretcher"
Cop: "what the hell is that???
Guy: "well first i work in a finger, then two, then my hand, and pretty soon i've created a 6ft asshole
Cop: what the hell do you do with a 6ft asshole??
Guy: I put him in a uniform and give him a radar gun!
Think I'll try this one next time. When the friendly officer asks me why I was speeding, I'll say..."Sorry officer. My ex-wife is a cop, and when I saw the car I thought she was coming back to reconcile. So I floored it."
First I want to express condolences to everyone who has lost a pet from a menu foods product. Second I want to thank everyone on this site for possibly helping to save my cat (still waiting to see is she recovers).
2 days ago I came to this site looking for answers, I found lots of testimonials about sick and dying pets. I called my wife and told her it’s worse than we thought and to take the cat to the Vet. immediately. He was suspect because of the symptoms (listless, drinking and peeing a lot) so he pulled blood work. The blood work showed some kidney damage (by the enzymes the kidneys were spilling into the blood). He said that typically these enzymes don’t show up until about 75% kidney failure has occurred, so he anticipated Felix (my cat) had suffered at least that much damage. He also said that there are 2 types of kidney damage chronic (happens over many years and isn’t reversible) and acute (from a toxic insult) there has been some success in reversing some of the damage of the acute type if it is treated soon enough).
If you think you dog or cat is not behaving normally take it to your vet and have a blood panel run!
If your vet doesn’t take you seriously enough take you pet to another vet!
This poising epidemic is much more wide spread than the news has been letting on, thousands of animals may die from this before they know why.
Stop feeding the pet food immediately!
Freeze the open pouches or cans and hold onto the unopened food! (don’t throw away the evidence).
Veterinarians and the FDA are collecting samples of food their affected patients were eating.
Last word of advice, don’t be angry at Wal-Mart, Eukanuba, Iams etc. none of them whished or wanted something like this to happen. Menu Foods is another story, we can be angry with them!
here's a link into Menufoods web site that will get you past their recall page.
Luckily for me, we can afford to live on my husbands salary. (My mom always said it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as I poor man, well I didn't marry rich, but I did marry smart and highly employable.)
Anyway, after a lot of talk, and several major pushes from him to convince me that we can afford the risk, I quit my job in accounting, and went after my dream.
On Saturday, I opened my online yarn store. I actually teamed up with my mother (she hasn't quit her day job -- yet) and we pooled all of our "fun" money (books, dinners out, entertainment, etc) for a few months and managed to get enough capital to start our business.
Reach for the moon, even if you fail, you still land among the stars.
I have found that you can get a live person if you call a customer service number and then dont press any buttons. Most recordings will play two or three times and then it will transfer to a live person. I think this happens because there are still people who have dial phones. But I have found this works most of the time.
Someone I knew did this a couple of times and it actually worked for him once.
When he gets stopped, he'll start rubbing his eyes so it looks all red. Then he would tell the officer that he just found out his wife was cheating on him, and that he is GLAD the officer stopped him because he was in no condition to drive.
The officer will generally start trying to comfort my friend. My friend will then take out a picture of his kids and say stuff like "15 years, 15 years how could she throw that away... what am I going to tell the kids?"
In the end, my friend wraps it up with "you probably saved my life officer. Thanks for stopping me."
There is a small chance that the officer will be so distracted by this point that he might forget to give you that ticket!
by many aromatherapy experts, who point out that there are serious questions about the conclusions reached. Check out the aromaconnection blog for more information.
I think Suze has a point. Aside from being unable to find your papers and demonstrating a lack of discipline, physical clutter has a psychological and emotional dimension.
David whatsisface who wrote the getting things done book talks about 'open loops', all the things you feel you must do and haven't yet gotten round to yet, that take up 'psychic RAM', leaving you with this constant sense of under-the-surface guilt and maybe even a touch of self-loathing. In this state, you're not going to be particularly good at converting opportunities into successes. Here's another take:
I read the above comment and agree to a point. Which brings me back to one of my absolute FAVORITE sayings. "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" I had seen it more than once, but it hit home for me when I was standing in my millionaire boss' office being paid pennies. I say, follow your heart and make it work. You have a stable head on your shoulders and with a little hard work and dedication it will all work out. What is the worst that can happen? I wouldn't call it a delay, I would call it starting a powerful life. Remember everything is possible!
You shouldn't discount eucalyptus and tea tree so quickly. They both have good properties and when used properly they are valuable tools in a natural products arsenal.
...due to my post, I'll feel a little bit bad. I had no idea so many people would rush out to buy the paper. Just goes to show, $5.50 a ream is too rich for most people.
How to save time, how to save money, deals to look for, how to protect yourself as a consumer... as writers, we are allowed to write about almost anything, although we try to have a financial focus.
In this case, I felt that this story had a financial focus, albeit a broad one that looks at global health.
Some other examples of articles that don't touch directly on finance, but that we think our readers might appreciate?
UPS dropped mine off about 30 minutes ago. The UPS guy seemed a bit unhappy - turns out he's had to deliver 20 other orders of office depot paper today already and has more to go. Surprising considering I'm in a relatively smallish city. I wonder just how much of this paper Office Depot ended up shipping?
I have come to appreciate Wise Bread for its frugal financial focus. I would hope you don't lose that focus by adding the work "frugal" to something that is so far afield from your usual subject matter, the reason why I read it.
What I didn't mention in the article (though thought of when I was writing it but couldn't find a good place for it, since it felt like a post in itself) is that Dave and I are working on putting a time-limit on all of this. We don't have one yet (we're working on finding out what is realistic), but we're thinking we'd like to see a certain amount of growth in a year, and more in two, etc. We will definitely have goal-focused dreams!
Your points about delaying the easy life for the dream are very valuable.
So, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm writing from the perspective of someone who spent years supporting a man who didn't know what he wanted, career-wise. Assembled degrees, lots of talent, endless creativity... and no follow-through.
I put on hold all of my desires and career goals in order to offer my time and money to my boyfriend, who couldn't settle on a direction or a definite job path. Consulting, design, engineering, artistic pursuits... we went through them all. And I finally realized that what he wanted was to be a perpetual student while I paid the bills. So I ended it, and now I'm belated pursuing MY dreams.
I guess this isn't so much a warning to you, Sarah, as to other people who might be looking at something similar. Following your dreams is great, and working hand-in-hand with a partner to accomplish those dreams is even better. One just needs to be sure that accomplishment is really in the future, especially if one person is sacrificing for the sake of the other.
Polio and smallpos were eliminated via vaccination, not via a new breed of organism (unless you count a weakened virus to be a new breed of organism - I could see that).
I never said that we would be eliminating the mosquito, and I'm pretty sure that the post reflects that. Scientists hope that the malaria-resistant one will overtake the malaria-prone mosquitos. This is not eliminating so much as replacing.
Nobody's talking about eliminating the mosquito, just the malaria organism.
Mao and the sparrows notwithstanding, we did manage to eliminate the polio and smallpox viruses without causing any ecological havoc. And good riddance, say I.
For stealing my material? Probably not. He be very rich and funny.
Just last night on Letterman, Adam Sandler hosted and said the exact same thing: claim Diarrhea.
I've got a buddy who's gotten out of two tickets. Once, he got the officer to agree that it was such a "nice road" that he was very suprised he was speeding. Since the road used to be cratered and bumpy, he just marveled at the new paving job and that it didn't seem like it should be a 25 mph road since it was so nice, and black, with double lines. Finally, while the cop was marveling at the road work, my friend said, "welp!" as if to say "this conversation is over" and the cop just told him to have a good day! Hilarious.
The other time was that he got pulled over for a burnt out tail light. He played the "I'm so glad you stopped me" angle, and asked the cop for help figuring out how he'd get the light replaced. Even asked if he could look at it with him. This was one of those po-dunk towns who's source of income was traffic tickets, so that's why it was so important to stroke the cop's ego by making him a "protect and serve" cop instead of a traffic cop.
One day a guy was driving down a road around 90mph when a cop pulled him over after a bridge.
Cop: "why were you driving so fast?
Guy: "I have to get to my job
Cop: "what do you do?
Guy" I'm a rectum stretcher"
Cop: "what the hell is that???
Guy: "well first i work in a finger, then two, then my hand, and pretty soon i've created a 6ft asshole
Cop: what the hell do you do with a 6ft asshole??
Guy: I put him in a uniform and give him a radar gun!
Doubt that would get you off a ticket though!
Think I'll try this one next time. When the friendly officer asks me why I was speeding, I'll say..."Sorry officer. My ex-wife is a cop, and when I saw the car I thought she was coming back to reconcile. So I floored it."
Although my mortgage company seems to have wised up to that trick, and they'll just hang up.
First I want to express condolences to everyone who has lost a pet from a menu foods product. Second I want to thank everyone on this site for possibly helping to save my cat (still waiting to see is she recovers).
2 days ago I came to this site looking for answers, I found lots of testimonials about sick and dying pets. I called my wife and told her it’s worse than we thought and to take the cat to the Vet. immediately. He was suspect because of the symptoms (listless, drinking and peeing a lot) so he pulled blood work. The blood work showed some kidney damage (by the enzymes the kidneys were spilling into the blood). He said that typically these enzymes don’t show up until about 75% kidney failure has occurred, so he anticipated Felix (my cat) had suffered at least that much damage. He also said that there are 2 types of kidney damage chronic (happens over many years and isn’t reversible) and acute (from a toxic insult) there has been some success in reversing some of the damage of the acute type if it is treated soon enough).
If you think you dog or cat is not behaving normally take it to your vet and have a blood panel run!
If your vet doesn’t take you seriously enough take you pet to another vet!
This poising epidemic is much more wide spread than the news has been letting on, thousands of animals may die from this before they know why.
Stop feeding the pet food immediately!
Freeze the open pouches or cans and hold onto the unopened food! (don’t throw away the evidence).
Veterinarians and the FDA are collecting samples of food their affected patients were eating.
Last word of advice, don’t be angry at Wal-Mart, Eukanuba, Iams etc. none of them whished or wanted something like this to happen. Menu Foods is another story, we can be angry with them!
here's a link into Menufoods web site that will get you past their recall page.
http://www.menufoods.com/ir/index.html
the code of ethics is a must read..
Here's an e-mail link
investorrelations@menufoods.com
Let them know what you think!
I don't have one but I just wanted to say that is a great one Will! I'll have to remember that!
Luckily for me, we can afford to live on my husbands salary. (My mom always said it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as I poor man, well I didn't marry rich, but I did marry smart and highly employable.)
Anyway, after a lot of talk, and several major pushes from him to convince me that we can afford the risk, I quit my job in accounting, and went after my dream.
On Saturday, I opened my online yarn store. I actually teamed up with my mother (she hasn't quit her day job -- yet) and we pooled all of our "fun" money (books, dinners out, entertainment, etc) for a few months and managed to get enough capital to start our business.
Reach for the moon, even if you fail, you still land among the stars.
I have found that you can get a live person if you call a customer service number and then dont press any buttons. Most recordings will play two or three times and then it will transfer to a live person. I think this happens because there are still people who have dial phones. But I have found this works most of the time.
Just cautioning. Don't get me started on aromatherapists.
Someone I knew did this a couple of times and it actually worked for him once.
When he gets stopped, he'll start rubbing his eyes so it looks all red. Then he would tell the officer that he just found out his wife was cheating on him, and that he is GLAD the officer stopped him because he was in no condition to drive.
The officer will generally start trying to comfort my friend. My friend will then take out a picture of his kids and say stuff like "15 years, 15 years how could she throw that away... what am I going to tell the kids?"
In the end, my friend wraps it up with "you probably saved my life officer. Thanks for stopping me."
There is a small chance that the officer will be so distracted by this point that he might forget to give you that ticket!
by many aromatherapy experts, who point out that there are serious questions about the conclusions reached. Check out the aromaconnection blog for more information.
I think Suze has a point. Aside from being unable to find your papers and demonstrating a lack of discipline, physical clutter has a psychological and emotional dimension.
David whatsisface who wrote the getting things done book talks about 'open loops', all the things you feel you must do and haven't yet gotten round to yet, that take up 'psychic RAM', leaving you with this constant sense of under-the-surface guilt and maybe even a touch of self-loathing. In this state, you're not going to be particularly good at converting opportunities into successes. Here's another take:
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4188/is_20060608/ai_n16483099
Incidentally, the flylady website is great for anyone wanting to learn to take control of their clutter...
I read the above comment and agree to a point. Which brings me back to one of my absolute FAVORITE sayings. "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" I had seen it more than once, but it hit home for me when I was standing in my millionaire boss' office being paid pennies. I say, follow your heart and make it work. You have a stable head on your shoulders and with a little hard work and dedication it will all work out. What is the worst that can happen? I wouldn't call it a delay, I would call it starting a powerful life. Remember everything is possible!
You shouldn't discount eucalyptus and tea tree so quickly. They both have good properties and when used properly they are valuable tools in a natural products arsenal.
...due to my post, I'll feel a little bit bad. I had no idea so many people would rush out to buy the paper. Just goes to show, $5.50 a ream is too rich for most people.
How to save time, how to save money, deals to look for, how to protect yourself as a consumer... as writers, we are allowed to write about almost anything, although we try to have a financial focus.
In this case, I felt that this story had a financial focus, albeit a broad one that looks at global health.
Some other examples of articles that don't touch directly on finance, but that we think our readers might appreciate?
http://www.wisebread.com/twinkie-sushi-chopsticks-optional
http://www.wisebread.com/jolene-sugarbaker-trailer-park-cooking-queen
http://www.wisebread.com/telemarketers-prank-call-me-800-266-9420
http://www.wisebread.com/man-drives-suv-through-mall
I'm glad you read for our frugal focus, and I hope you keep it up. But that certainly isn't going to prevent us from writing about other topics.
UPS dropped mine off about 30 minutes ago. The UPS guy seemed a bit unhappy - turns out he's had to deliver 20 other orders of office depot paper today already and has more to go. Surprising considering I'm in a relatively smallish city. I wonder just how much of this paper Office Depot ended up shipping?
I have come to appreciate Wise Bread for its frugal financial focus. I would hope you don't lose that focus by adding the work "frugal" to something that is so far afield from your usual subject matter, the reason why I read it.
omg...it's a ton of paper.
Such a deal!
Thanks for pointing that out, guest-of-mine.
What I didn't mention in the article (though thought of when I was writing it but couldn't find a good place for it, since it felt like a post in itself) is that Dave and I are working on putting a time-limit on all of this. We don't have one yet (we're working on finding out what is realistic), but we're thinking we'd like to see a certain amount of growth in a year, and more in two, etc. We will definitely have goal-focused dreams!
Your points about delaying the easy life for the dream are very valuable.
So, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm writing from the perspective of someone who spent years supporting a man who didn't know what he wanted, career-wise. Assembled degrees, lots of talent, endless creativity... and no follow-through.
I put on hold all of my desires and career goals in order to offer my time and money to my boyfriend, who couldn't settle on a direction or a definite job path. Consulting, design, engineering, artistic pursuits... we went through them all. And I finally realized that what he wanted was to be a perpetual student while I paid the bills. So I ended it, and now I'm belated pursuing MY dreams.
I guess this isn't so much a warning to you, Sarah, as to other people who might be looking at something similar. Following your dreams is great, and working hand-in-hand with a partner to accomplish those dreams is even better. One just needs to be sure that accomplishment is really in the future, especially if one person is sacrificing for the sake of the other.
Ten minutes ago a friendly Office Depot delivery man dropped off the loot. $17.84 for the 10 reams and 1 pen. One of the best deals ever!
Polio and smallpos were eliminated via vaccination, not via a new breed of organism (unless you count a weakened virus to be a new breed of organism - I could see that).
I never said that we would be eliminating the mosquito, and I'm pretty sure that the post reflects that. Scientists hope that the malaria-resistant one will overtake the malaria-prone mosquitos. This is not eliminating so much as replacing.
Nobody's talking about eliminating the mosquito, just the malaria organism.
Mao and the sparrows notwithstanding, we did manage to eliminate the polio and smallpox viruses without causing any ecological havoc. And good riddance, say I.