I go through similar turmoil when I shop. It really is enough to make your eyes cross and your head start to hurt. For extra fun, I am trying to reduce my plastic consumption. OMG, what a pain. It's EVERYWHERE. Even on the healthier products. On the west coast, they seem to have access to these wonderful markets where everything comes in bulk bins and tanks where you can buy what you need in your own container. This includes lotions, olive oil, honey, etc. The stores here have a few bins, but not nearly the same level of selection. There are also a few farmers markets, but they are not all that close.
We have a few other couples and some additional single friends we do things with occasionally, and to justify the trip to shop at some of these places we've been discussing trying some of them out as a day trip or outing that we can all go on. Since every family tends to spend a bit of cash when they are out and about anyway, this way we can all feel like we're participating in a day outing that supports what we are all trying to do and the money that gets spent is towards the grocery budget. Not a foolproof plan, and certainly not a plan we'll be able to use for all of our shopping. But it's a step in the right direction that provides some sort of outing when we get stir crazy.
Wow, I don't know where to begin. Sam, thanks for your words and advice.
To Guest, you make some valid and interesting points. I think the thrust of the article was geared more towards the individual experiencing the stress and thus, setting themselves up to harm their child, rather than recognizing the signs in other people. I agree that intervention can do harm to a family for what might be an isolated incident, but also think that physical harm to a child still constitutes abuse, even if it's a one time deal, but should not be grounds for losing your children. On the other hand, every parent has been there, and we should try to keep our wits about us rather than do something we might regret, and as you pointed out, with the system as it is, run the risk of something horrible happening to our families.
SJ, it all makes me sad, as well, but these things happen because we are not perfect creatures.
To Wiste, I think it becomes an issue of semantics. What you choose to call something is up to the individual, but when you physically harm a child by breaking a bone or striking them, even if it's just once, for whatever reason (i.e., anger management, control, issues of power), I'd still interpret that as abuse. People may define it differently, but when someone is capable of beating their children, again, even if it's just once, it can be an indicator of future behavior. I know parenting is hard, I know every parent at some point wants to lose it, but how we react is what makes us adults and, for that matter, human beings.
And Guest, I agree that a child needs their parents, and an act of aggression does not justify losing one's family. My point was only to remind parents to be aware that these moments will arise, no doubt, and we should be aware of them so as not to act improperly. As far as recognizing it in other people and reporting it to the proper agencies, that's a discussion for another time.
Thanks again for all your comments, they were well thought out and much appreciated. And have a nice day.
I'm with you, although probably a little more skeptical about things the government tells us are safe. I mean, the Surgeon General used to tell us that smoking was safe! And until a few years ago, there was no such thing as global warming! Science is way ahead of the government...so while I don't get panicky about every little study that comes out, I definitely pay attention.
Organic foods are more expensive, but when you get to a point where no pre-made, pre-packaged "convenience" foods end up in your shopping cart, the expense balances out.
The 8 cells you get out of one of these 12V batteries are alkaline and hold much less power than the more expensive silver oxide or lithium button cell batteries.
If you could buy alkaline button cells they would be cheap, but the reason battery manufacturers don't sell them is because they would run out in no time at all.
I'm sure you were trying to be funny, but the reality is if you put a metal bar across two automobile posts you could get killed. Come on dude, you can be funny but honestly, getting someone to kill themselves is pretty awful.
I'm growing crops for the first time this year. I live in an urban area so I have no yard and am doing everything in containers on my back patio. I've spent a lot of money and made a lot of mistakes.
BUT I've learned tons. I'll be better at this next year (ie, planting later, more shelter, composting, water saving).
And I will do this again next year.
Why?
Because lettuce harvested that day tastes 1000 times better than bag lettuce harvested a week ago.
I'm not a survialist, but I am concerned about the huge amount of "lost knowledge" that comes from our separation from the means of production. It just seems to me that every human being ought to know the basics of raising his/her own food, whether or not s/he ever needs to or chooses to do so. These just seem to be good, basic skills to have. At very least, they give you a bit of perspective and a sense of where your food comes from, even if it was grown by someone else.
Town of Queen Creek (approx 23000 residents) actually has a very low number of foreclosures. The problem is that Town of Queen Creek shares US Postal Service "Place Name" with a much much larger population of around 150,000. So the data shows foreclosures for a much greater population but is only dividing the number by our own Town's population of 20,000 (assume they are using most recent census update)
Also check out Extrabux and Ebates for additional discounts. They offer rebates as high as 20% on a wide variety of online stores. Simple to register, then just a click or two to have the rebate applied to your purchase. I get a nice check every quarter for all my accumulated rebates. Free money!
The value of my home has dropped some $65,000 since late 2006 when we bought it. We also sold our old home that year and made a considerable amount of money on the sale...so you win some, you lose some I guess. At this point, we're anticipating living in this home for a really long time. We can't refinance because we are upside down on our mortgage (despite a big down payment.) We're not in danger of foreclosure (barring disaster or job loss) because we bought a house that we could afford. I think greed on the part of buyers and the lenders coupled with an overinflated market is what led to the current crisis in Queen Creek and the surrounding areas.
Queen Creek also includes properties in Pinal County, AZ. This is unincorporated county land that happens to share our zipcode. I believe the majority of foreclosures are located outside of Queen Creek proper.
Nice article Torley. Very comprehensive. I use MyPoints for online rebates too, but I generally prefer FatWallet to them. MyPoints does give you points for clicking on emailed ads however (but only 5 cents per ad or so).
I've driven through some of the California towns on this list. They're mostly fairly far from major job centers. Tracy grew a lot in the last decade because it's an hour or so from San Jose and San Jose got way too expensive, and now Tracy is coming down because San Jose prices are cut in half. Now tracy is infamous for the Sandra Cantu murder and a teen torture case so it's possible that real estate will come down further there.
I live in nearby Gilbert, AZ, about 20 minutes from Queen Creek, 30 minutes from Maricopa, and 45 minutes from Buckeye. That's what the data isn't showing - just how close together each of these towns are. I wasn't surprised at all to see Queen Creek at number one. I was surprised that Maricopa was as low as it was. All three of those towns experienced HUGE growing pains, in the form of increased traffic, not enough public safety personnel, etc. over the last five years, during the investor housing boom. Now, the cities are drowning in debt from these cost, coupled with the loss of tax revenue.
We looked at a couple of houses in Queen Creek a few years ago. The average price for a 1600 sq foot house on a tiny lot was $300,000 or so - $250K was considered a good deal. So, they've fallen really, really far. And it's affecting all of the Metro-Phoenix area, since Queen Creek, Buckeye, and Maricopa are all on the edges of the Phoenix area.
The photo is a psychological test. If you click through to allygirl520's stream, you'll see there's a lot of love behind those two relatives. So on that one level, it's not as it seems — and relates to this article, because the relationship between "money" and "time" is often not as it seems. Using both resources brilliantly calls for an unorthodox, unscripted reaction. It can be uncomfortable to talk about because it unseats long-held values about ourselves, but once out in the open, invites refreshed action!
(The lawnmower is just a bonus that fit the theme of routine housework.)
Now! I treasure your comments, so:
@The Weakonomist I wish I knew more about that, I don't really drive. But your "Kind of like a maid!" made me chortle. If the agreement is mutual and ultimately doesn't destroy one party, it's prolly healthy.
@utility73 Yes, so how to do it most effectively? Often, initial setup of repeat tasks will save you a lot in the long run. Weigh that.
@DDFD When I think "decaying asset", chemistry (half-life) comes to mind.
@Gary HAHAHA
@Meg That's a common and very worthwhile example. Just as many of us don't make our own clothes.
@rob rubin One of those "in the moment" decisions, and speaks to how we might pay more if time is scarce (either by choice or force, like last-minute concert tickets).
@Allie Thank-you for sharing, and I'm glad you found the pic kind of funny. It unsettled me too at first, but then I dug deeper and found out what was happening.
However, if you’re in the market for a deal and live near (or in) one of these towns, then you could find yourself some real bargains. Properties in foreclosure can be picked up at a steal. It’s a shame you’ll be making good on someone else’s misfortune, but this economy is one huge double-edged sword.
Have you been any of those towns on the list? I have, many of the ones in California. Let me tell you, they aren't places where most would care to live. High Crime, graffiti, unbearably hot weather.
The falling prices haven't bottomed. Not by a long shot. A banker told me only 30% of the bank-owned homes are on the market. The other 70%, the shadow inventory, they aren't yet releasing because they know that will crush the market.
Foreclosures themselves have shot up dramatically after some states' moratoriums have ended.
As far as home prices dropping, you ain't seen anything yet. Keep lot's of powder dry. There will be bargains, but two to five years out.
There are different rules in different states as far as foreclosure goes. What we are seeing is sad but may be slanted towards states that banks have an easy time foreclosing on. In New Jersey it is VERY difficult for banks to foreclose on a property. I believe it is the hardest in the nation. We may just be lagging behind the other states. This may give us an advantage of time leverage to be able to work with the bank or sell.
I don't use debit cards because of the fees (50 cents to $2.50) and problems several friends have had when their identity/PIN was stolen and their bank accounts wiped out. Despite a claim of a $50 "fruad protection" policy, the banks (different banks) fought them both tooth and nail giving back their money (both people) even though one of the store cameras showed a tall dark skinned male at the register using my female friends debit card.
Everybody takes cash, and most stores (even local ones) still take local checks with a positive ID and phone number, don't charge you a fee, and less chance an identify thief is also going to be able to produce your drivers license. The merchant gets the cash within 3 days and doesn't get charged a fee if you write a check (unless you're foolish enough to bounce it). Those Visa Debit-Card TV ads showing the line slow down while somebody writes a check or pays cash have brainwashed people!!!
To the person who pointed out the difference between inappropriate behavior and abuse, most parents who lash out at their kids because of stress are not the same as what we label "batterers" who abuse their spouse and kids. I work with both populations of clients and know the difference. Sometimes parents -are- the same (i.e., entitlement to abuse) and in that case of course the state needs to intervene (and you'd better start avoiding dark alleys if the parent suspects it was YOU who made the call), but usually the parents are not. Batterers are very controlling, whereas a stressed parent who lashes out at their kids loathes themselves afterwards (guilt adding to their stress, which then makes future lashing out more likely).
I'm not condoning either behavior, only pointing out that the dynamics and the treatment are usually quite different (something most "authorities" don't seem to "get"). When was the last time you heard of a battered women tantruming and screaming in the checkout line of the supermarket or repeatedly doing the same naughty thing over and over and over again to get attention before getting clocked by the batterer? Most "abusive" parents -want- to be good parents, but they are under enormous stress (financial, divorce, children with learning disabilities compounding the problem, drug or alcohol addiction, inadequate support network, the other spouse -IS- a batterer as described in the last post) or do not have the education to understand how to encourage their children to behave. I don't have a lot of tolerance for the ups and downs of drug/alcohol addiction (pass the kid along to stable relatives, send the parent to detox, then talk about it), but most of the other problems are best addressed via education and compassion, not calling DSS.
Trust me ... after visiting child clients in a few of those foster homes I had to pull the car over and cry. A few whacks from mommy or not, the foster home was far worse, especially if the kids are older than age 6 (most older kids get warehoused and shuffled around like garbage, and the foster parents get no support whatsoever from the social service agencies). Lawyers for the kids and parents learn to team up to get the parents services WITHOUT the help of DSS, and often a DSS case worker will surreptitiously sneak behind the back of their supervisors to help the families get services because the DSS power structure is so dysfunctional (unfortunately, the good social workers frequently burn out after a year and quit, leaving only the deadwood or those social workers who learn to do their work behind the scenes without involving the power structure).
My point is it's not a black and white issue. If you are the person trying to help a family, be careful who you notify there is a problem because you could be unleashing an atom bomb. If you are the parent under stress because the economy stinks ... be careful about your stress level. Call your best friend and gripe when you feel yourself losing control. My favorite prayer ... "please lord grant me patience, kindness, and the self-control to keep my hands to myself..." Please swallow your pride and seek help to get through this stinky economy, and don't be ashamed to ask people to help you watch your kids so you can get a sanity break once in a while. Your kids don't need to know you had to apply for food stamps or their doctor is being paid by the state insurance agent, they just need YOU.
There's a lot to be wary of with deals that are too good be true, because they usually are. Thanks for the comprehensive review.
Hi Carrie.
I go through similar turmoil when I shop. It really is enough to make your eyes cross and your head start to hurt. For extra fun, I am trying to reduce my plastic consumption. OMG, what a pain. It's EVERYWHERE. Even on the healthier products. On the west coast, they seem to have access to these wonderful markets where everything comes in bulk bins and tanks where you can buy what you need in your own container. This includes lotions, olive oil, honey, etc. The stores here have a few bins, but not nearly the same level of selection. There are also a few farmers markets, but they are not all that close.
We have a few other couples and some additional single friends we do things with occasionally, and to justify the trip to shop at some of these places we've been discussing trying some of them out as a day trip or outing that we can all go on. Since every family tends to spend a bit of cash when they are out and about anyway, this way we can all feel like we're participating in a day outing that supports what we are all trying to do and the money that gets spent is towards the grocery budget. Not a foolproof plan, and certainly not a plan we'll be able to use for all of our shopping. But it's a step in the right direction that provides some sort of outing when we get stir crazy.
Wow, I don't know where to begin. Sam, thanks for your words and advice.
To Guest, you make some valid and interesting points. I think the thrust of the article was geared more towards the individual experiencing the stress and thus, setting themselves up to harm their child, rather than recognizing the signs in other people. I agree that intervention can do harm to a family for what might be an isolated incident, but also think that physical harm to a child still constitutes abuse, even if it's a one time deal, but should not be grounds for losing your children. On the other hand, every parent has been there, and we should try to keep our wits about us rather than do something we might regret, and as you pointed out, with the system as it is, run the risk of something horrible happening to our families.
SJ, it all makes me sad, as well, but these things happen because we are not perfect creatures.
To Wiste, I think it becomes an issue of semantics. What you choose to call something is up to the individual, but when you physically harm a child by breaking a bone or striking them, even if it's just once, for whatever reason (i.e., anger management, control, issues of power), I'd still interpret that as abuse. People may define it differently, but when someone is capable of beating their children, again, even if it's just once, it can be an indicator of future behavior. I know parenting is hard, I know every parent at some point wants to lose it, but how we react is what makes us adults and, for that matter, human beings.
And Guest, I agree that a child needs their parents, and an act of aggression does not justify losing one's family. My point was only to remind parents to be aware that these moments will arise, no doubt, and we should be aware of them so as not to act improperly. As far as recognizing it in other people and reporting it to the proper agencies, that's a discussion for another time.
Thanks again for all your comments, they were well thought out and much appreciated. And have a nice day.
Great post!
I'm with you, although probably a little more skeptical about things the government tells us are safe. I mean, the Surgeon General used to tell us that smoking was safe! And until a few years ago, there was no such thing as global warming! Science is way ahead of the government...so while I don't get panicky about every little study that comes out, I definitely pay attention.
Organic foods are more expensive, but when you get to a point where no pre-made, pre-packaged "convenience" foods end up in your shopping cart, the expense balances out.
They have the smallest store online, with great offers everyday. http://twitter.com/smallshop
The 8 cells you get out of one of these 12V batteries are alkaline and hold much less power than the more expensive silver oxide or lithium button cell batteries.
If you could buy alkaline button cells they would be cheap, but the reason battery manufacturers don't sell them is because they would run out in no time at all.
There's no conspiracy. Just engineering.
I'm sure you were trying to be funny, but the reality is if you put a metal bar across two automobile posts you could get killed. Come on dude, you can be funny but honestly, getting someone to kill themselves is pretty awful.
I'm growing crops for the first time this year. I live in an urban area so I have no yard and am doing everything in containers on my back patio. I've spent a lot of money and made a lot of mistakes.
BUT I've learned tons. I'll be better at this next year (ie, planting later, more shelter, composting, water saving).
And I will do this again next year.
Why?
Because lettuce harvested that day tastes 1000 times better than bag lettuce harvested a week ago.
I'm not a survialist, but I am concerned about the huge amount of "lost knowledge" that comes from our separation from the means of production. It just seems to me that every human being ought to know the basics of raising his/her own food, whether or not s/he ever needs to or chooses to do so. These just seem to be good, basic skills to have. At very least, they give you a bit of perspective and a sense of where your food comes from, even if it was grown by someone else.
You are 100% correct in the fact that the data is inaccurate. The ACTUAL percentage of foreclosures within Town of Queen Creek is 2.4%
Town of Queen Creek (approx 23000 residents) actually has a very low number of foreclosures. The problem is that Town of Queen Creek shares US Postal Service "Place Name" with a much much larger population of around 150,000. So the data shows foreclosures for a much greater population but is only dividing the number by our own Town's population of 20,000 (assume they are using most recent census update)
Also check out Extrabux and Ebates for additional discounts. They offer rebates as high as 20% on a wide variety of online stores. Simple to register, then just a click or two to have the rebate applied to your purchase. I get a nice check every quarter for all my accumulated rebates. Free money!
The picture needs an article of its own.
The value of my home has dropped some $65,000 since late 2006 when we bought it. We also sold our old home that year and made a considerable amount of money on the sale...so you win some, you lose some I guess. At this point, we're anticipating living in this home for a really long time. We can't refinance because we are upside down on our mortgage (despite a big down payment.) We're not in danger of foreclosure (barring disaster or job loss) because we bought a house that we could afford. I think greed on the part of buyers and the lenders coupled with an overinflated market is what led to the current crisis in Queen Creek and the surrounding areas.
Queen Creek also includes properties in Pinal County, AZ. This is unincorporated county land that happens to share our zipcode. I believe the majority of foreclosures are located outside of Queen Creek proper.
Nice article Torley. Very comprehensive. I use MyPoints for online rebates too, but I generally prefer FatWallet to them. MyPoints does give you points for clicking on emailed ads however (but only 5 cents per ad or so).
I've driven through some of the California towns on this list. They're mostly fairly far from major job centers. Tracy grew a lot in the last decade because it's an hour or so from San Jose and San Jose got way too expensive, and now Tracy is coming down because San Jose prices are cut in half. Now tracy is infamous for the Sandra Cantu murder and a teen torture case so it's possible that real estate will come down further there.
I live in nearby Gilbert, AZ, about 20 minutes from Queen Creek, 30 minutes from Maricopa, and 45 minutes from Buckeye. That's what the data isn't showing - just how close together each of these towns are. I wasn't surprised at all to see Queen Creek at number one. I was surprised that Maricopa was as low as it was. All three of those towns experienced HUGE growing pains, in the form of increased traffic, not enough public safety personnel, etc. over the last five years, during the investor housing boom. Now, the cities are drowning in debt from these cost, coupled with the loss of tax revenue.
We looked at a couple of houses in Queen Creek a few years ago. The average price for a 1600 sq foot house on a tiny lot was $300,000 or so - $250K was considered a good deal. So, they've fallen really, really far. And it's affecting all of the Metro-Phoenix area, since Queen Creek, Buckeye, and Maricopa are all on the edges of the Phoenix area.
Glad that you shared with us. I am really stuck in my life, actually I am addictid to the game called Trackmania.
The photo is a psychological test. If you click through to allygirl520's stream, you'll see there's a lot of love behind those two relatives. So on that one level, it's not as it seems — and relates to this article, because the relationship between "money" and "time" is often not as it seems. Using both resources brilliantly calls for an unorthodox, unscripted reaction. It can be uncomfortable to talk about because it unseats long-held values about ourselves, but once out in the open, invites refreshed action!
(The lawnmower is just a bonus that fit the theme of routine housework.)
Now! I treasure your comments, so:
@The Weakonomist I wish I knew more about that, I don't really drive. But your "Kind of like a maid!" made me chortle. If the agreement is mutual and ultimately doesn't destroy one party, it's prolly healthy.
@utility73 Yes, so how to do it most effectively? Often, initial setup of repeat tasks will save you a lot in the long run. Weigh that.
@DDFD When I think "decaying asset", chemistry (half-life) comes to mind.
@Gary HAHAHA
@Meg That's a common and very worthwhile example. Just as many of us don't make our own clothes.
@rob rubin One of those "in the moment" decisions, and speaks to how we might pay more if time is scarce (either by choice or force, like last-minute concert tickets).
@Allie Thank-you for sharing, and I'm glad you found the pic kind of funny. It unsettled me too at first, but then I dug deeper and found out what was happening.
@HollyP Wonderful, I'm touched. :)
You said,
However, if you’re in the market for a deal and live near (or in) one of these towns, then you could find yourself some real bargains. Properties in foreclosure can be picked up at a steal. It’s a shame you’ll be making good on someone else’s misfortune, but this economy is one huge double-edged sword.
Have you been any of those towns on the list? I have, many of the ones in California. Let me tell you, they aren't places where most would care to live. High Crime, graffiti, unbearably hot weather.
The falling prices haven't bottomed. Not by a long shot. A banker told me only 30% of the bank-owned homes are on the market. The other 70%, the shadow inventory, they aren't yet releasing because they know that will crush the market.
Foreclosures themselves have shot up dramatically after some states' moratoriums have ended.
As far as home prices dropping, you ain't seen anything yet. Keep lot's of powder dry. There will be bargains, but two to five years out.
There are different rules in different states as far as foreclosure goes. What we are seeing is sad but may be slanted towards states that banks have an easy time foreclosing on. In New Jersey it is VERY difficult for banks to foreclose on a property. I believe it is the hardest in the nation. We may just be lagging behind the other states. This may give us an advantage of time leverage to be able to work with the bank or sell.
I don't use debit cards because of the fees (50 cents to $2.50) and problems several friends have had when their identity/PIN was stolen and their bank accounts wiped out. Despite a claim of a $50 "fruad protection" policy, the banks (different banks) fought them both tooth and nail giving back their money (both people) even though one of the store cameras showed a tall dark skinned male at the register using my female friends debit card.
Everybody takes cash, and most stores (even local ones) still take local checks with a positive ID and phone number, don't charge you a fee, and less chance an identify thief is also going to be able to produce your drivers license. The merchant gets the cash within 3 days and doesn't get charged a fee if you write a check (unless you're foolish enough to bounce it). Those Visa Debit-Card TV ads showing the line slow down while somebody writes a check or pays cash have brainwashed people!!!
I have been wondering if dandelion is edible, it grows everywhere in my backyard.
Thank you for including my article about scholarship applications!
To the person who pointed out the difference between inappropriate behavior and abuse, most parents who lash out at their kids because of stress are not the same as what we label "batterers" who abuse their spouse and kids. I work with both populations of clients and know the difference. Sometimes parents -are- the same (i.e., entitlement to abuse) and in that case of course the state needs to intervene (and you'd better start avoiding dark alleys if the parent suspects it was YOU who made the call), but usually the parents are not. Batterers are very controlling, whereas a stressed parent who lashes out at their kids loathes themselves afterwards (guilt adding to their stress, which then makes future lashing out more likely).
I'm not condoning either behavior, only pointing out that the dynamics and the treatment are usually quite different (something most "authorities" don't seem to "get"). When was the last time you heard of a battered women tantruming and screaming in the checkout line of the supermarket or repeatedly doing the same naughty thing over and over and over again to get attention before getting clocked by the batterer? Most "abusive" parents -want- to be good parents, but they are under enormous stress (financial, divorce, children with learning disabilities compounding the problem, drug or alcohol addiction, inadequate support network, the other spouse -IS- a batterer as described in the last post) or do not have the education to understand how to encourage their children to behave. I don't have a lot of tolerance for the ups and downs of drug/alcohol addiction (pass the kid along to stable relatives, send the parent to detox, then talk about it), but most of the other problems are best addressed via education and compassion, not calling DSS.
Trust me ... after visiting child clients in a few of those foster homes I had to pull the car over and cry. A few whacks from mommy or not, the foster home was far worse, especially if the kids are older than age 6 (most older kids get warehoused and shuffled around like garbage, and the foster parents get no support whatsoever from the social service agencies). Lawyers for the kids and parents learn to team up to get the parents services WITHOUT the help of DSS, and often a DSS case worker will surreptitiously sneak behind the back of their supervisors to help the families get services because the DSS power structure is so dysfunctional (unfortunately, the good social workers frequently burn out after a year and quit, leaving only the deadwood or those social workers who learn to do their work behind the scenes without involving the power structure).
My point is it's not a black and white issue. If you are the person trying to help a family, be careful who you notify there is a problem because you could be unleashing an atom bomb. If you are the parent under stress because the economy stinks ... be careful about your stress level. Call your best friend and gripe when you feel yourself losing control. My favorite prayer ... "please lord grant me patience, kindness, and the self-control to keep my hands to myself..." Please swallow your pride and seek help to get through this stinky economy, and don't be ashamed to ask people to help you watch your kids so you can get a sanity break once in a while. Your kids don't need to know you had to apply for food stamps or their doctor is being paid by the state insurance agent, they just need YOU.