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HP Pavilion 15" Touch Dual-Core Notebook

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Specifications:

Processor:
AMD A6-9220 2.5GHz Accelerated Processor
1MB L2 Cache

Processor Core:
Dual-Core

Screen Size:
15.6"

Aspect Ratio:
16:9

Resolution:
1366 x 768

Display Type:
HD SVA WLED-backlit Touchscreen

Graphics:
AMD Radeon R5 graphics

Memory:
4GB DDR4-2133 SDRAM; supports up to 8GB

Casual Home USB Port Night Stands

Hey, nightstand, I'm not looking to get attached to any furniture right now, okay? Aw, c'mon, don't cry. We have a lot of fun, right? I put stuff in you, you hold up my Captain Planet nightlight... What? Well maybe because the coffee table doesn't harsh my buzz with all this relationship talk! NO, I never said she was thinner than you, plus she's just a laminate, you are wooden to the core, baby. C'mon, let's not fight. Here, hold my keys.

Casual Home 647-24 Night Owl Nightstand with USB Ports Specefications:

Casual Home 649-24 Notre Dame Nightstand with USB Ports Specefications:

Casual Home 360-24 Vanderbilt Nightstand with USB Ports Specefications:

In the box:

  • (1) Casual Home USB Port Night Stands - Pick Style

Gustus Vitae 'Everything You Need' (6)

At first, I was skeptical that this collection of seasons would really contain EVERYTHING I need. Does it contain love? Does it contain a sense of belonging? Does it contain a general feeling of safety and personal security both physically and emotionally? Well, no. But it DOES have Blue Cheese Salt and that's probably the next best thing to all that touchy-feely junk I just listed. 

  • Best By: 03/27/2020
     
  • Magnetized backing: tins sticks to your fridge or other metal surface.
  • Crafted in small batches.
  • Hand packed in California from local and imported ingredients.
  • Not irradiated or treated with EtO gas.
  • All natural: free from artificial colors and flavors.
  • No nuts, soy, dairy, sugar, or gluten.

Sony H800 H.Ear Wireless On Ear Headphones

ON ear, and I can't stress this enough, ON EAR headphones. Please stop doing the "in ear headphones challenge", kids. The human ear wasn't made to fit these fine electronics. God, y'all kids are DUMB...

GENERAL SPECS
 

 
 

HEADPHONE TYPE
Closed Dynamic

DRIVER UNIT
1.57", dome type (CCAW Voice Coil)

MAGNET
Neodymium

IMPEDANCE (OHM)
18 ohms (1 kHz) (when connecting via the headphone cable)

FREQUENCY RESPONSE
5-40,000 Hz (JEITA)

FREQUENCY RESPONSE (BLUETOOTH? COMMUNICATION)
20 Hz-20,000 Hz (44.1 kHz Sampling)/20 Hz-40,000 Hz (LDAC 96 kHz Sampling, 990 kbps)

SENSITIVITIES (DB/MW)
100 dB/mW (1 kHz) (when connecting via the headphone cable)

VOLUME CONTROL
Yes

CORD TYPE
Single-sided (detachable)

CORD LENGTH
Approx.

Wildhorn Outfitters Beach Towels

Did the Beach Boys ever grow up into the Beach Men? Or are they trapped in a state of perpetual boyness like some kind of California Neverland where they surf all day and never grow up and never have to deal with things like healthcare bills, 401ks, nagging back pain, and wondering how much "screen time" the kids should have? 

Vintage Scum

THESE are the tees you've been looking for... {spooky hand wave}

Apple iPad Air 2 64GB LTE Tablet (S&D)

These sleek iPad Airs will make you look slick. Use one to keep up on current events ande talk slick. Download the latest hits from iTunes and listen slick. Get one raindrop on it and curse slick.

Specifications:

Display:
9.7" LED-backlit Multi-Touch with IPS Technology
Fingerprint-Resistant Oleophobic Coating

Resolution:
2048 x 1536

Pixels per Inch:
264

Processor:
A8X chip with 64-bit architecture and M8 motion coprocessor

Storage:
64GB Internal Storage

Cellular:
4G & LTE Compatible with AT&T, Sprint, Verizon, T-Mobile, GigSky
SIM Card NOT Included

UMTS/ HSPA/ HSPA+/ DC-HSDPA (850, 900, 1700/2100, 1900, 2100 MHz); GSM/EDGE (850, 900, 1800, 1900 MHz)

CDMA EV-DO Rev. A and Rev. B (800, 1900 MHz)

LTE (Bands 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 13, 17, 18, 19, 20, 25, 26, 28, 29, 38, 39, 40, 41)

Data only

Laurel Hill Wine Jelly Best Sellers (8)

The only thing that could make this jam better is if it contained some kind of science so when you dropped your toast the anti-gravity particles activated preventing the toast from landing jelly-side-down. That may sound like an excessive amount of technology for toast, but I drop a LOT of toast. Which I guess is what I get for wearing mittens 24 hours a day. 

  • Best By: 8/7/2019

Wicked Good Red Raspberry Jam

  • Package Size: 4oz

Wicked Good Blueberry Jam

  • Package Size: 4oz

Superb Strawberry Jam

  • Package Size: 4oz

Marvelous Multiberry Jam

  • Package Size: 4oz

Touch Of ECO Solar Spinning LED Pinwheel

Harness the power of the sun with these twirly whirly light up pretty things. Stare DEEPLY into the lights... Follow them down down down until you only hear the sound of my voice. Good... gooooooood. Now break into the World Gem Depository and steal all of the rubies and bring them to me. Also, every time you hear the word "satchel" you will cluck like a chicken. When I snap my fingers you won't remember any of this. *SNAP* 

Specifications:

  • 1 AAA NI-MH 300 MAH Battery (included)
  • Warm White LED
  • Box Size: 7.87"x3.74"x7.87"
  • Product Size: 20.2"x8.1"6.2" 
  • Weight: 14oz
  • Material: Metal

In the box:

  • Touch Of ECO Solar Spinning LED Pinwheel (Your Choice: Style)

Dell Latitude E5430 Notebook

Oh God, that's all I had in the tank. A Latitued joke. I have nothing else to say. How long is that? Only 22 words?!?! UGH. Ok, think, Woot Writer, THINK. What's funny about a computer... hmm.  Well, I could make a reference to Electric Dreams, the 80s movie where a computer becomes sentient after being doused in champagne.* No, no, too obscure. Oh man, Boss is gonna KILL me. Oh well, heck with it, I'm setting my workstation on fire. 81 words, dope, I'm going to Happy Hour.

*Yeah, that's an actual movie