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That's Ball, Folks

A vacuum on a ball? That's so balla.

See this tattoo here? No, no, not the one of Calvin peeing on the words SELF-RESPECT, this other one, the one with the letters. See how it says EIDIR2TB? That stands for my personal motto in life: Everything I Do Is Required 2 Be Balla. What? No, it's right: Everything... I... Do...Is... Required... 2... Be... aw, dag. That's what I get for not going to the most balla tattoo artist in town. Lesson learned.

ANYWAY my point is, if it can't be balla, I can't be bothered. That's how I choose everything: my cognac, my dinnerware, my puffy coats, my homeowner's insurance, which lane on the highway I'm going to drive in... everything. And most of all, my vacuum cleaners.

Now If Only We Had A Priazzo

It's the you of the future that the you of the past always hoped you'd be present to see.

THE YEAR IS 1986! A young you with most of your original hair looks at a science-fiction program and mumbles into a New Coke: one day that will be me using a television like a computer. Across the room, your grandfather finishes the last bite of his Florentine Priazzo and shouts BAH! THAT DAY WILL NEVER COME! And so you sneak off to the arcade and try in vain to get the high score on Out Run. It hurt so much then. But today? Today is the day you are vindicated.

Laminated For Your Enjoyment

Surprisingly sanitary!

We could tell you all about the health benefits of using this Teeter EP-560 Inversion Table. We could go on and on about its ComforTrak™ Bed, Ergo-Embrace™ Supports and Ankle Comfort Dial™. We could even boast that it's been Rated by Dynamark Engineering as the #1 inversion table for endurance, strength, rotation control and ease of assembly.

But when you really get down to it, there's only one feature of the Teeter EP-560 Inversion Table that matters; the Laminated User's Guide. You see, when we first acquired this inversion table, the very first thing we thought was, "YES! We can finally eat ice cream sandwiches without them melting and dripping down our arms!" And the second thing we thought was, "That did not go the way we thought it would!"

I'd Rather Be Chrome

We had a whole bunch of ideas for what do call this sale! So many we couldn't use 'em all!

This HP Chromebook is light, speedy, and comes with a 200MB of Free 4G (HSPA+) for two years data plan. It's made for traveling! And yet, our dumb ol' writing team focused entirely on the name. Go figure.

Anyway, they couldn't decide which concept would be best, so they asked us to set 'em all up and let YOU choose your favorite! Take a look and help 'em out, won't you?

Chrome On The Range - A drill sergeant takes her HP Chromebook with her to the firing range, with hilarious consequences!

Chrome Sweet Chrome - At a candy manufacturing plant, an up-and-coming confectioner uses his HP Chromebook to look up a magical recipe, with hilarious consequences!