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Gingerbread Tan

These tan lines are exactly why Gingi decided to go in the buff...

InvoSpa Massagers, Your Choice

Heck, I'll give it a try. I'll just switch it on here {click}

brrrrrrr

OoOoHh Ii GgEeTt IiTt NnOoWwwww

In the box:

InvoSpa Shiatsu Back Neck and Shoulder Massager with Heat:

  • (1) Shiatsu Back Neck and Shoulder Massager with Heat
  • (1) Carry Bag
  • (1) Wall AC Adapter
  • (1) Car Adapter
  • (1) User Manual

InvoSpa Handheld Percussion Massager:

  • (1) InvoSpa Handheld Percussion Massager
  • (6) Interchangeable Massage Nodes (Back, Neck, Ankle, Thigh, Leg, Foot)
  • (1) User Manual 

WEN Pole Saw - Your Choice

The brainstorming session for this one must have been intense. "Ok what if you want to cut something?" "Chainsaw." "Ok, but what if you want to cut something FAR AWAY from where you're standing?" "Chainsaw on a big long stick?" 

In the Box:

  • (1) WEN 4019 8-inch Corded Electric Pole Saw or WEN 40421 10-inch Cordless Pole Saw (Your Choice)

M.A.D. Truffle Butter & Duck Fat (3)

Truffle butter and duck fat are like the super classy fancy version of Crisco. Probably. I don't really know how cooking works. 

If your butter is soft or even melted, just pop it in the freezer to chill for an hour. It's good in there for about 18 months (as if!). Its high butterfat content preserves the integrity of the product. Ditto for duck fat. Spread the love!
 

Truffle Butter Nutritional Facts

Serving Size:
1/2 oz.

Calories:
90

Calories from Fat:
90

Total Fat:
10g ~ 16% Daily Value

Saturated Fat:
6g ~ 31% Daily Value

Cholesterol:
25mg ~ 9% Daily Value

Sodium:
80mg ~ 3% Daily Value

Total Carbohydrate:
0g

Protein:
0g

Vitamin A:
6% Daily Value

Not significant source for Dietary Fiber, Sugars, Vitamin C, Calcium and Iron
 

Astro 7-in-1 Workbench DIY Work Station

TRIPLE points if you get that double reference. And no Googling!  Anyway, here's a workbench.

Specifications

Function Modes:
7 (workbench, saw horse, scaffold, platform, car creeper, dolly and hand truck)

Weight Capacity:
500 lb capacity in scaffold/platform mode, 330 lb capacity in other modes

Dimensions:
43" x 21.75" work surface, 20.5" to 30.75" height

In the box:

  • (1) Astro Pneumatic 55670 7-in-1 Workbench DIY Work Station

AirDots Bluetooth Ear Buds With Charging Case

This whole  "Bring Your Grandpa to Work Day" was a terrible idea...

Specs:

  • Bluetooth 4.2
  • IPX7 water resistance
  • Frequency: 2.4GHz
  • Working distance: 10 meters
  • Earbuds battery: 50mAh
  • Standby time: 120 hours
  • Talking time: 3-4 hours
  • Music time: 2-3 hours
  • Charging time: 1-1.5 hours
  • Charging case battery: 300mAh

In the Box:

  • AirDots Bluetooth Ear Buds 
  • Charging Case
  • Secure Fit Tips
  • USB Charging Cable
  • Travel Case
  • User Manual

Teeter EP-560 Special Edition Inversion Table (Blemished) with Comfort Cushion

Inversion tables: Super good for back pain, super BAD for your potluck dinner because now Stephanie's Jello salad is on the floor. How could you? She worked really hard on that. 

Specifications

Height Capacity:
4'8" - 6'6" (142 -198 cm)

Weight Capacity:
300 lbs (136 kg)

Assembled Weight:
64.8 lbs

Assembled Non-Use Max Setting (resting)
Assembled In-Use Max Setting

L
W
H
L
W
H

63.3
28.8
57.3
81.8
28.8
85.0

In the box:

  • Teeter EP-560 Special Edition Inversion Table with Back Pain Relief (Blemished)
  • Bonus Comfort Cushion
  • Lumbar Bridge
  • DVD: Includes Assembly Instructions and Healthy Back & Body Routines

Tower Adventurer 1 iSUP Package - 9'10"

Stand up paddle boards. Standing desks. What's next? A standing car? My head would be sticking out of the sun roof it's a ridiculous idea. And what about my hair? 

  • Board Weight: 24 lbs
  • Dimensions: 9'10" length by 32" width by 6" thickness
  • Volume: 300 Liters plus
  • Weight Capacity: 300 lbs
  • Nose Rocker: 4 inches
  • Tail Rocker: No tail rocker
  • Fin Configuration: 2+1 plastic fins, with larger detachable center fin
  • Onboard Accessories: Carrying handle, front towing d-ring, rear surf leash d-ring
  • Included External Accessories: A detachable SUP center fin, a Tower branded deck pad.

Dell Optiplex 7010 SFF Desktop

"MEANWHILE, AT THE DASTARDLY CENTER OF BADNESS, THE OPTIPLEX..."

Specifications:

Processor:
Intel Core i5-3470 3.2GHz (Turbo up to 3.6GHz)
6MB Cache

Processor Core:
Quad-Core

Memory:
4GB DDR3

Max Memory:
16GB

Graphics:
Intel HD Graphics 2500

Video Ports:
VGA, DisplayPort

Hard Drive:
128GB solid state drive

Optical Drive:
No (not included)

Sound:
Integrated

Network:
10/100 Wired Ethernet

Wireless:
No

I/O Ports:

(2) DisplayPort
(1) VGA
(6) USB 2.0
(4) USB 3.0
(1) RJ-45 LAN
(1) Serial
(1) Headphone
(1) Microphone
(1) Audio: Line-in
(1) Audio: Line-out

Expansion Slots & Bays:

(1) Half Height PCIe x16
(1) Half Height PCIe x16 (wired x 4)
(1) Half Height PCIe x1

Arlo Security System w/ 3 Cameras & Gen4 Pro Base

You know, the one where Clarice sees Jack Crawford for the manipulative guy he is.  {listening} What? Basement scene? I dunno, man, I only watched the version edited for TBS.

Camera
 

Video resolution
Configurable up to 1280 x 720

Video format
H.264

Imaging
Full Color

 
CMOS

 
Auto-adaptive white/black balance and exposure

Motion detection
Adjustable sensitivity

 
Automatic email alerts and push notifications

Digital pan and zoom
Yes

Night vision
850 nm LEDs: illuminates up to 25 feet

 
IR cut-off filter

Battery
Four (4) Lithium CR123 Photo

Battery level indication
Yes

Focus range (ST)
Fixed focus (2 ft to infinity)

Operating temperature
14? to 122? F (-10? C to 50?