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LG Electronics SJ8 Sound Bar w/ Subwoofer

A "sound bar" sounds like some kind of swanky high tech lounge where instead of ordering cocktails you get a set of expensive headphones and order bespoke sounds and sound combinations. I'm only like 50% sure I'm making that up it probably exists in Brooklyn or something. 

Full Specs Here

In the Box:

  • Soundbar
  • Subwoofer
  • Power Cable
  • Remote Control w/ Batteries
  • Optical Audio Cable
  • Wall Mounting Brackets
  • Warranty Card

Shark Navigator NV355 Lift Away Professional Vacuum

So don't use it just to suck up yer kid's Cheerios and stuff. This is a PRO and should be treated as such!

Cleaning path: 9.5 inches
Power: 1200 watts, 10 amps
Cord length: 30 feet
Filtration: Washable HEPA and 2 foam filters
Surface cleaning types: Carpet and bare floors
Dimensions: 15.4 x 11.6 x 27 inches

In the Box:

  • (1) Shark Navigator NV355 Lift Away Professional Vacuum 
  • (1) Hard Floor Hero
  • (1) Wide Upholstery Tool
  • (1) Dusting Brush
  • (1) 8'' Crevice Tool

The Sock Conspiracy

"On this episode of The First 48 Sox..." Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

Rachio 2nd Generation Smart Sprinkler Controllers

If I could control the weather I would use that power EXCLUSIVELY to ruin championship parades of sports teams I didn't like. Which may seem petty and small but the thing is many of the sports teams I root for are very bad so if my team can't win I at least want the other teams' fans to have a bad time. Actually, when I explain it that way it still seems petty and small. I'm ok with that. 

App Compatibility
iOS 10.3+ and Android 4.4+; subject to change. Web app available on most browsers.  Mobile app is required to connect the controller to Wi-Fi.

Integrations  
Works with Nest, Amazon Alexa, The Google Assistant, IFTTT, Wink, Control4, Nexia and others.

Zones 
8-zone and 16-zone models

Size and Weight
 -   Dimensions: 9.25" L x 5.625" H x 1.625" W

Woot Cellars Squid Ink Whole Bean Coffee

In terms of going from 0 to 60 first thing in the morning, the next best thing to waking up to a giant squid frantically flailing its squid arms and spraying squid ink in your eye is a hot cup of Woot Cellars Squid Ink coffee. Trust me I've tried it. I am NOT getting the security deposit back for this apartment. 

  • Coffee orders are roasted the day before the order is shipped.
  • Roasted & Packaged by Smokin' Aces Coffee Co
  • Whole Bean coffee

Galaxy by Harvic Men's Polos

...man, I gotta get to the gym...
Galaxy by Harvic Size Chart Short Sleeve Polos

Size
Customer Chest Size
Length

Small
36" - 38"
29.5"

Medium
38" - 40"
30"

Large
40" - 42"
30.5"

X-Large
42" - 44"
31.5"

XX-Large
44" - 46"
32.5"

3X-Large
49" - 51"
33.5"

Galaxy by Harvic Size Chart Long Sleeve Polos

Size
Customer Chest Size
Length
Sleeve Length

Small
36" - 38"
30"
33"

Medium
38" - 40"
30"
34"

Large
40" - 42"
30.5"
35"

X-Large
42" - 44"
31.5"
36"

XX-Large
44" - 46"
32.5"
36.5"

In the Box: 

  • (1) Galaxy by Harvic Men's Short Sleeve Polos 6-Pack or Galaxy by Harvic Long Sleeve Polos 3-Pack

Samsung 8-Series 4k UHD Smart LED TV

  • Ultimate Hard Drive?
  • Ubiquitous Hammer Dad?
  • Underhanded Hell Dillweed?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's Underhanded Hell Dillweed...

Travelpro Inflight Lite 2-PC Hardside Spinner Luggage

We'd like "rollin' on spinnas" to be a cool pop culture euphemism for strutting with your TravelPro Hardside Spinner Luggage, but we can't seem to get any traction with the Youths...

Apple 13" i5-3210M Macbook Pro Laptop

...keeps the creditors calling at all hours of the night.  I mean, who needs a new Apple MacBook every day? That's just silly. And one things is for dang sure {loosens tie} {removes glasses} {stares you dead in the eye} we don't cotton with "silly" here at Woot.