[creepy 80's rocker voice] Aw yeah, baby. Baby, baby yeah. Come on with those sweet curves. They dangerous? They dangerous curves? [points] GUITAR! I bet these curves are like a road in the rain at night; slippery when wet. [pours a Rolling Rock on the monitor and is immediately electrocuted] HIYAAAAAAA! [crowd goes wild]
Specifications:
Screen Size:
40"
Panel Type:
MVA, 1800R Curve
Aspect Ratio:
16:9
Resolution:
3840 x 2160
Refresh Rate:
60Hz
Brightness:
300 cd/m2
Contrast Ratio:
20M:1 (dynamic)
Response Time:
5ms
Colors:
10-bit, 1.073 billion
Viewing Angle:
178/178
Audio:
Internal speakers 2 x 5W
...which admittedly in this case is about 3" wide. Nevermind, carry on my wayward son.
In the box:
These sleek iPads will make you look slick. Use one to keep up on current events and talk slick. Download the latest hits from iTunes and listen slick. Get one raindrop on it and curse slick.
Specifications:
Display:
7.9" LED-backlit Multi-Touch with IPS Technology
Fingerprint-Resistant Oleophobic Coating
Cement your place as the snow removal czar of your block with a snow blower. That'll show Gary and his supposed world record-setting snow shoveling time. THAT'S NOT EVEN A REAL THING GARY STOP PRETENDING YOU WON THE DANG OLYMPICS!
Specifications
Model:
323E-PRO-SJB-RM
SJ624E-RM
Color:
Blue
Blue
Clearing Width:
13 in
21 in
Depth of Snow Cut:
6 in
11.8 in
Max Throw Distance:
20 ft
20 ft
Max Plowing Capacity:
400 lbs/min
730 lbs/min
Motor:
10 amp
14 amp
Drive System:
Paddle Auger
Auger Assisted
Dimmensions:
16" x 15" x 60"
41.3" x 22.6" x 47.2"
Weight:
15 lbs
34.6 lbs
In the Box:
There are two kinds of people in the world. People who like milk chocolate and people who like dark chocolate. And people who don't like chocolate at all. And I guess there are probably some people who like both kinds of chocolate. Oh man, I forgot about white chocolate. Ok ok... there are six kinds of people in the world... Maybe more. I hate math so much.
Dry beef is significantly more delicious and popular than my invention: dry water. But if I can just get a couple million in funding for research and branding I think I can get it to take off. Please send money.
Imagine if you put this door on your bathroom and then left the bathroom leaving both the door open and your zipper down. That would be a DOUBLE "your barn door is open." A barn-door-ception if you will. BRRRRRRRAAAAAWWWWRWRRRMRMRMMRMRMMMMM!!!
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if my studs don't line up with the pre-drilled holes in the rail?
A: Simply attach a 1" thick header board into your studs first, and then the rail can attach anywhere into the header board. Many customers prefer this look anyway. Customers have painted the header to match the wall color to blend in, or to match the door.
Show off yer book smarts!
You know, the one with the farting swamp? ...What? Glass Balls? WTH are you going on about?
In the Box:
Ok, I just got another iPad Air, so this time I just need to--AW DANGIT. There it goes.
Alright, third iPad Air. I put it in a lead case this time so it should be sufficiently weighed down. Unless I take it out like this--AW CRAP. Well that was dumb of me.
Good thing this iPad Air sale is so cheap...
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