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HP Pavilion 15" AMD A8 Quad-Core Laptop
Down With Multitasking
I'm never doing anything again BECAUSE I LOVE MY COUNTRY.
A recent study shows that we're actually 40% less productive when we're multitasking. This is hard and fast evidence from a pretty reputable source that, if we're ever going to show up those Commie Reds in the space race, we need to knock that crap off.
So shut off the TV when pooping. Step away from the smart phone while breeding Corgis. And for the love of all that is good and sacred to this country, please, please stop fracking and driving.
In that spirit, we present to you this HP Pavilion 15" AMD A8 Quad-Core Laptop. But not so you can use it. SO YOU CAN DESTROY IT. Sorry, HP. You can dangle your 4GB DDR3 memory for multitasking power all you want. We're not biting.
The Scarlet Petter with a Vengeance
What sins lie in the hearts of pets?
Bear witness to the impulse of remorse which dogs them.
Samsung 40" or 46" 1080p LED Smart TV
Oh, no! That thing we had sold out! So out of our desperate attempt to be rich love for giving you options, we've added a bonus sale for today. Consider it a gift to us from your wallet to all of you who were hoping for something like this. This is your chance to help us look good to our bosses get a little something for yourself, okay? Thank you You're welcome.
Item-Level Tracking: It’s Here!
How many times have YOU formed an angry mob and marched on Woot HQ to demand item-level tracking? By our count… never. And we’d like to keep it that way. That’s why you’ll be noticing that you can now visit your order page and look at each individual item*, learn where it is, consider what it needs and desires, and prepare your home for what day it should be arriving. No more angry cries of “WHERE IS THE SECOND HALF OF MY ORDER?” and “WHY ARE YOU HIDING MY TRACKING INFORMATION?” Now it’s just click and read and done. So simple even our writing team could understand it.
See? Head on over to your order page and check it out. We think you’ll be pleased.
Hisense 40" 1080p LED HDTV
It Just Makes Hisense! [laughter] [crying] [eating]
Here are some new shows you can watch on your Hisense HDTV:
It's A Boat -- Detective Hutch Cabbageland has only 24 hours to get inside the mind of a boat before he has to take the It's A Boat test at the precinct, which will determine if he can properly make the distinction between a boat and literally anything else. But with a hidden past that involves severe blindness to boats, will Hutch be able to overcome his debilitating shortcoming and stay on the force? *SPOILER* No he won't. Starring Danny Glover as a boat.
The Scarlet Petter 2: Pet Harder
What sins lie in the hearts of pets?
Bear witness to the impulse of remorse which dogs them.
Music Monday: Epic Hip-Hop
Happy Music Monday! Are you one of those people who hate rap and hip hop as a genre? Yeah? Well, you’re as wrong as those people who hate all country or hate all classic rock. Today Scott’s challenging every one of you to join in with some epic rap songs. Because if you hate 100% of an entire genre, it’s not the genre’s fault. It’s yours.
Famously uncleared samples, beat boxing, funny accents, the “Six Minutes” stage reminder and banter between the MC’s. This is the Bohemian Rhapsody of hip hop, moving you from a backstage gathering to the big moment onstage, and perfect to sing in a car with your pals. Simply glorious and amazingly epic.
NFL Roadside Emergency Kit
Like Hockey Except Totally Different
In your moments of crisis, you can be inspired by the struggles of your favorite team.
Do you remember that time the Baltimore Ravens were down at the half, then came back to win? What did they say? They said "Boy, the coach sure jumpstarted that team, didn't he?" Do you remember that time the Dallas Cowboys collapsed in the last quarter? What did they say? "It looks like the team's gone flat!" Car metaphors and football are twined together in the American consciousness like hot dogs and the 4th Of July. And it's time you all accepted that.
The Scarlet Petter
What sins lie in the hearts of pets?
Bear witness to the impulse of remorse which dogs them.
Sunbeam 2 Person Heated Throw - 3 Colors
Sofa so good
Know when to say throw.
The heat is on while you sleep
Inside your bed, or by your feet
And the heat’s so warm, deep inside
The slumber’s nigh, prepare to dive
Cause the heat is on.
Throw-whoa-ho, Throw-whoa-ho
Cuddled in the blanket
I’ve been snoozing next to you
Throw-whoa-ho, Throw-whoa-ho
Tell me can you feel it
Tell me can you feel it
Tell me can you feel it
The heat is on
Throw-whoa-ho, Throw-whoa-ho
Cuddled in the blanket
I’ve been snoozing next to you
Throw-whoa-ho, Throw-whoa-ho
Tell me can you feel it
Tell me can you feel it
Tell me can you feel it
The heat is on
The Sunbeam’s big, oh it’s nice and wide
Because these drafts make us chilly inside
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