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SHARK VACUUM WEEK

SHARK VACUUM WEEK programming schedule:

Monday -- Shark of Dirtness: The Legend of Sucknar

​Tuesday -- Mega Shark vs. Basement Rug

Wednesday -- When Sharks Attach (to the couch cushions because they're sucking so hard)

Thursday -- Shark Vacuum We Have Them Please Buy Vacuum

Friday -- Card Sharks: How to Clean the Table

Saturday -- Shark Dressed Man, or Portrait of a Man Wearing a Vacuum

Sunday -- church

Happy Music Monday! The character of “me” is one of the most popular in all of music. It’s easy to understand why, right? A singer up there can speak for themselves better than for someone else. Today Scott’s gathered five songs that start with “Me &” and thrown down the gauntlet. Can you do better? HE DOESN’T THINK YOU CAN!!!! But we’ll see.

Billy Paul - Me & Mrs Jones

It might be grounds for divorce, but it’s so smooth. In this one the “Me” is leading a secret double life with Mrs. Jones each and every day. It sounds filthy… but is it? Because if you listen to the lyrics, they seem to be just be sitting and talking. Is this a relationship or just implications and daydreams? Who can say? Only the unreliable me. And, maybe, the Mrs. Jones. Too bad she never recorded a song.

Human ignorance, sadly, isn't limited to planet Earth. Even today, over 400 years after the Age of Enlightenment began, plenty of people are still getting plenty of stuff wrong--not just about our home planet, but about the whole universe. Luckily, Jeopardy!s Ken Jennings is the author of a new book about the mysteries of the cosmos, the Junior Genius Guide to Outer Space. In this month's Debunker columns, he'll set us straight on a whole sky full of starry slip-ups. These are some misconceptions of truly astronomical proportion.

The Debunker: Star Myth #2: Do Black Holes Suck?

Kiss Off

Darling, power up the Lifesmart, won't you? My band is feeling cold.

Darling, I know. You're feelin' blue and sad inside. But my boys are here, girl. And we really need to practice, because we kinda suck. Could you maybe get us a few beers and turn the Lifesmart 6-Element Heater up a notch?

See, baby, other bands might just call it a night, but not us. We're devoted. Devoted and not very good. If we don't rehearse all night, we'll simply never be ready. We might have to wear makeup and costumes. Say, turn that Lifesmart up a little more, okay? It's so efficient, it'll keep saving us money all winter. And that'll come in handy, because our hairy-chested guitarist doesn't want to button his shirt.