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Knight in Shining Microfiber

"Mint Hard Floor, Mint Hard Floor. Wherefore art thou, Mint Hard Floor?"

Peaches the Cat gaz'd longingly out the window. Another day gone, and still nay word from her betroth'd. Had he ev'r existed, 'r had her mind been playing tricks on her? Was he but a dream?

But oh! What an enchanting dream! He was pet perfect in ev'ry way. The manner by which he clean'd expertly along walls and around chair legs, yet whisper quiet in his art. With instincts, sharp like the blade, not only for whence to go, but whence not.

"Where art thou, mine white steed with rechargeable power source? Wherefore wilt i suffer? Wherefore wilt i question the state of mine own floor? If ye art to come, come yarely by way of the Northstar® Navigation System. Until then, with great longing and anticipation, I layeth in wait."

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The cable companies took over the government. But you don't have to rent their box. You can use this instead! SMALL VICTORIES!

This HDHomeRun Prime is a TV tuner and cable box. It works with your existing cable connection and/or TV. Once you connect it to your home router, you can access and record TV from anywhere in your home. No matter what you think right now, this is going to be used in the following ways.

1) The Bathroom. Make faces if you want, but at some point, you're going to be carrying your laptop in there with you. With a HDHomeRun Prime, that won't be a problem. Unless you get caught. Then you'll have to explain yourself to all the people who think that's gross.

In a series of “Debunker” columns from a few years back, Ken Jennings shattered a few beloved myths about the presidency—Abraham Lincoln didn’t write the Gettysburg Address on an envelope, JFK didn’t kill the hat. So why take on four more White House whitewashes this month? It’s a matter of some urgency: Ken has a fun new book out this month about such matters. So get ready to whistle along to “Fail to the Chief” as KJ blows up everything you thought you knew about the leader of the free world.

The Debunker: Can the President Serve Only Eight Years?

May The Updated Fourth Be With You

When using the Samsung Galaxy Watch, be aware: what used to be 3pm is now known as "3pm Legends" instead.
 

Of course you'll expect this Samsung Galaxy Watch to function perfectly well as a smart-watch, and it does handle real time notifications, calls and voice commands just as you'd expect. But the numbers you've come to know and love over the years? Well, sad to say... those are no longer canon.

For example, you know how it USED to be that 3:45 was right after 3:44 but before 3:46? Well, we no longer consider that canon. But don't worry, we know that 3:45 is a fan favorite, and we're not leaving it out. It'll absolutely appear somewhere on this Samsung Galaxy Watch... just not how you expect!