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Kindle Fire HD 8.9" 32GB Tablet
SOS!
Please help me: If you are reading this message there is still hope, and you may be able to save me. I am trapped on a desert island somewhere in the Pacific (I believe I am on the 14th parallel, if my homemade coconut sextant is to be trusted). I have nothing but the clothes on my back and a Kindle Fire 8.9” tablet.
Mine is a sad tale of poetic irony and spite. Weeks ago I met a stranger at a cocktail party on the Upper West Side of New York’s Manhattan who asked me the one book I would bring to a desert island. I, in what seemed witty form, told him I would bring my Kindle Fire, as it stores hundreds and indeed thousands of books itself.
Klipsch Soundbar with Wireless Subwoofer
Read Our Klipsch
It's time for a Woot Klipsch Show!
We're very glad you decided to visit Woot today. You see, we've been selling Klipsch products for quite some time, and over the years, we've written a lot of write-ups about them, so for today's Klipsch HD Theater SB-3 Soundbar with 10" Wireless Subwoofer, we thought what better way to utilize the write-up space than to do a clip show -- or, if you will, a Klipsch show -- highlighting some of the many wonderful moments that Woot writers have had with Klipsch. After all, if sitcoms can pull it off, then why can't we? So without further ado, here's a look back:
"Dear diary, our arduous trek over the so-called Sierra Nevada mountains has come to a close."
"I hook you up with a Soundbar because I like you."
"YOU have terrible taste in music."
"...how do you prounouce 'Rimbaud'? Are you sure?"
Toshiba 15.6" Quad-Core Laptop
Toshiba and Beyond
No, you're not seeing things. Out of our desperate attempt to be rich love for giving you options, we've added a little something extra for today. Come on in and check it out!
Your Toshiba Laptop, Core Department - Meet the Team
Core #1 hails from beautiful Boca Raton, FL where it studied computing at Florida Atlantic University. Part of the launch team at Your Toshiba Laptop, Core #1 couldn't be more content with its position and hopes to continue serving Toshiba users until retirement.
Pet Ego K9 Car Barrier
Doggie Drivin'
No, you're not seeing things. Out of our desperate attempt to be rich love for giving you options, we've added a little something extra for today. Come on in and check it out!
When we say the word "limo" what do you think of? Uh huh, and after that? Uh huh, and after that? Uh huh. Uh huh. Okay, the answer we're looking for is "the driver behind that little window" so maybe stop guessing now. Because it's that driver that makes it so classy, right? Knowing you've got your own little space and that driver's out there, working for you.
Welll... your dog wants to feel classy too! It knows you're the alpha, but can't it pretend once in a while? With a K9K, your K9 will be kept better than a rent boy in London. Your pet will be happy and secure and confident as to its place in your pack no matter if you're off to the vet or dropping by the doggie prom.
Greenworks 12-Amp 20-Inch Corded Snow Thrower
Back In The Snow Days
Bah! You kids don't know how lucky you have it, throwing snow with your Greenworks 12-Amp 20-Inch Corded Snow Thrower.
Back in my day, we didn't get a fancy machine to throw our snow. We had to throw it ourselves. We'd wake up, see snow on the ground, and we wouldn't be celebrating. No! You know why? Because first thing we knew, we'd be outside clearing the sidewalks WITH OUR BARE HANDS.
That was the only way to clear snow back then, and you know what? We had a driveway a mile long! And it went uphill both ways! By the time you got finished with one side of the driveway, enough snow would've fallen that you had to clear it all over again.
Some Weird, Funny Books You Might Not Have Heard Of
There's all sorts of cool stuff you can read on your Kindle or Kindle Fire. Personally, I prefer to read funny stuff. Here are a few funny books that I love that you might never have heard of:
Luxury 10" Gel Memory Foam Mattress-5 Sizes
In the Year 3,000
These mattresses are from the future! And it's a weird place.
If you're sleeping on one of these mattresses 1,000 years from now, there are a number of things we can surmise about you.
1. You got the $#!%less end of the genetic stick because you're WAY old and still kickin' i.e. You're the Highlander.
2. You're a king/queen because most everyone in the future sleeps on a nest of dryer lint and wet dog hair.
3. You scoff at the movie The Time Traveler's Wife because COULD THOSE TWO POSSIBLY HAVE LESS CHEMISTRY?
4. You hate it when people ask if there are flying cars in the future. Of course there are. Stupid heads.
Onkyo 7.2CH A/V Receiver w/ Wi-Fi & Bluetooth
Reason With Us
Need a reason to buy this? We'll give you 7.2!
Because this is a Onkyo 7.2CH A/V Receiver w/ Wi-Fi & Bluetooth, we figured what better way to tell you about it than to give you 7.2 reasons why you should buy it? Here they are:
1) It offers Wi-Fi and Bluetooth audio streaming technology, six HDMI inputs, low resolution upscaling, 4K and 3D passthrough, and there's even a USB port for audio playback from a flash memory drive.
2) If you're allergic to Golden Retrievers, it doesn't mean you'll be allergic to A/V Receivers.
3) It makes you look like you know a thing or two about home theater system even if you actually have no clue what you're doing.
4) You can still use it if you're a running back, or even a quarterback!
5) It'll nicely complement your 7.2 Channel Putter.
Apple 128GB Gen4 iPad with or w/o ATT 4G
Remember The Newton
The iPad: better than a watch.
Look, we're just gonna come out and say it: Apple's trollin', right? All those secret rumors about an iWatch are just to send the competition down a blind alley, aren't they? Because there's nothing an iPad can't do better than some wrist-computer. And we've got a little list to prove it.
Stop Pickpockets - With a 4th Gen iPad (like this one here) a pickpocket has to take something the size of a newspaper from your hands. You're gonna notice that. It doesn't matter how slick they are, you're gonna notice that. With some crazy watch, though? Pickpockets had THAT technique figured out before we even knew what silicon was.
Philips 39” 1080p LED TV w/NetTV
We're partial to Toilet Quest
"Thanks for coming to break in this sweet new TV."
"No problem, yo. Looks awesome."
"So. What would you like to watch?"
"Check out the viewing guide!"
"America's Top Kardashian?"
"No."
"Toilet Quest?"
"No."
"Baby Matadors!"
"Already saw that episode."
"Made in Carollton."
"Ew."
"Dog Island."
"No."
"Gum Wars?"
"No."
"Bear Wives."
"No."
"American Picklers?"
"No."
"Captain Kitten: Feline Pilot?"
"No."
"Fat and Frightened?"
"No."
"Escape from Florida?"
"No."
"Cake Bastard?"
"No."
"Teen Senator."
"No."
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