64 Funny, Inspiring and Stupid Money Quotes From Famous People

By Glen Stansberry on 2 June 2009 (Updated 8 June 2011) 45 comments

People love quoting famous people. Whether the celebrity in question is a genius or not, we love a good sound byte. We've collected quotes from presidents, movie stars, philosophers, athletes, and even Paris Hilton on everybody's favorite topic: Money. (See also: How Money Can Destroy Your Dreams)

1. "Early to bed, early to rise, keeps you healthy, wealthy and wise." - Benjamin Franklin

2. "For I don't care too much for money, for money can't buy me love." - The Beatles

3. "Money is like a sixth sense - and you can't make use of the other five without it." - William Somerset Maugham

4. "A penny saved is a penny earned." - Benjamin Franklin

5. "Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time." - Jim Rohn

6. "Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves." - Albert Einstein

7. "Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort." - Helen Gurley Brown

8. "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." - Woody Allen

Woody Allen

9. "Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money." - Jackie Mason

10. "If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting." - Ben Franklin

11. "What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more." - Seneca

12. "If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to." - Dorothy Parker

13. "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery." - Charles Dickens

14. "It doesn't matter if you're black or white... the only color that really matters is green." - Family Guy

15. "My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income." - Errol Flynn

16. "If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some." - Benjamin Franklin

17. "Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it." - Rebecca Johnson

18. "Lack of money is the root of all evil." - George Bernard Shaw

19. "The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last." - Evan Esar

20. "What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us." - Julia Cameron

21. "Money is usually attracted, not pursued." - Jim Rohn

22. "The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket." - Kin Hubbard

23. "Money will come when you are doing the right thing." - Mike Phillips

24. "The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated." - H. L. Mencken

25. "You use your money to buy privacy because during most of your life you aren't allowed to be normal." - Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp

26. "It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed." - Kin Hubbard

27. "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it." - Bob Hope

28. "What's a soup kitchen?" - Paris Hilton

29. "The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any." - Katharine Whitehorn

30. "The art is not in making money, but in keeping it." - Proverb

31. "Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money." - Robin Williams

32. "Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears." - Robert W. Sarnoff

33. "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like." - Will Smith

34. "Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game." - Donald Trump

35. "You don't have to die in order to make a living." - Lynn Johnston

36. "I used to have a drug problem, but now I have enough money." - David Lee Roth

37. "The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money." - IRS auditor

38. "Money is like love; it kills slowly and painfully the one who withholds it, and enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man." - Kahlil Gibran

39. "So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?" - Ayn Rand

40. "Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." - Jerry Seinfeld

41. "Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be." - Rita Rudner

42. "The art of living easily as to money is to pitch your scale of living one degree below your means." - Sir Henry Taylor

43. "Money is the best deodorant." - Elizabeth Taylor

Elizabeth Taylor

44. "Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver." - Ayn Rand

45. "I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with." - Rodney Dangerfield

46. "A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart." - Jonathan Swift

47. "He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days." - Anonymous

48. "Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination." - Oscar Wilde

49. "A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore." - Yogi Berra

50. "Make money your god and it will plague you like the devil." - Henry Fielding

51. "When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is." - Oscar Wilde

52. "Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one." - Benjamin Franklin

53. "Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." - Groucho Marx

54. "The glow of one warm thought is to me worth more than money." - Thomas Jefferson

55. "Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." - Robert Orben

56. "Money often costs too much." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

57. "Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail" - Richard Friedman

58. "Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

59. "If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." - Earl Wilson

60. "Don't tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I'll tell you what they are." - James W. Frick

61. "Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune." - Jim Rohn

62. "If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys." - James Goldsmith

63. "Money is the barometer of a society's virtue." - Ayn Rand

64. "It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy." - George Lorimer

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Guest's picture
Mark

I miss:

Money is a good thing, only the people without it complain...

Nice post , very inspiring.

Guest's picture

Numbers 27 and 48 are the same.

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Guest

No they aren't.

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Tasha

#1 should be attributed to Benjamin Franklin, and the quote from Johnny Depp is taken out of context; he was referring to celebrities being forced to buy their privacy. Don't ask me why I know this.

Guest's picture

Great post Glen
I actually BLOG about Quotes, with a different spin. Each of us can have a different interpretation of the quote and its fascinating when reading what others thought,on top of the quote... where it takes YOUR MIND.

#19.. this actually has a Double meaning in it to me( hang on to it, make it and keep it,)

#29 is so true.. kids don't understand the value of a dollar, until you can't give them any to buy what they want. They learn really fast!

#33.. how many people are trying to impress others..Will Smith is right on, in my opinion. Talk about keeping up with the Joneses( and Smiths)

#57.. actually most dogs will wag their tails regardless,but its because they are full of LOVE anyway. I get the writers point!

Fellow quote lovers....have a look at my Quote Blog
http://Smile-TherapyThinkTank.blogspot.com/

Thanks Glen,for a wonderful, get you thinking, post!

Tim S creator,Smile-Therapy.com

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CHris

Number 14! Can't we all learn something from family guy!?!?!

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hustler

I love that quote if you pay peanuts you get monkeys. That's what happened where I work. Someone I work with said it best. I will be as intelligent as you treat me.

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Hasan

There is another quote about money that I really like:

"Money itself is not inherently evil. Money merely magnifies that which is in the heart. If you are greedy, your spending habits will show that, and if you are generous, then your constant giving will show that as well." -Muhammed al-Shareef

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Andi

The first quote should be attributed to Ben Franklin, not Abe Lincoln.

Greg Go's picture
Greg Go

@JorgenMan - Oops! #48 has been replaced with another quote!

@Tasha, @Andi - You guys are absolutely right. Ben Franklin said that, not Lincoln. Fixed. Thanks!

Guest's picture

The Beatles ALSO said...

"The best things in life are free" - well you can save that for the birds and the bees, 'cause I need money!

From "The Waitress":

"If I had a penny for everything I love about you, I should have many pennies."

I like to say that money can't buy you happiness, but the lack of money can definitely inconvenience you....

Great post!

Guest's picture
Ginny

John D, Rockefeller had a whole lot of money and now, with sound financial planning, he's dead.

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Samira

60. "Don't tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I'll tell you what they are." - James W. Frick

Oh Wow! True in personal finance, relationships, work, family and play. Not just money - substitute time for money and it's even more powerful.

Guest's picture

Please come up with something original for once, or get off the internet.

If you do choose to continually rip off other peoples intelligence, please at least try to get it right.

Thank you.

Guest's picture

Great post!

I love motivatonal quotes-- I post them myself every few days.

Thanks for sharing!

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Anthony

People who try to find their happiness in money and material things are doomed.

All the "stuff" you love so much will always break down and fail you, including your own body.

Finding oneness and balance is the only source of genuine happiness.

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Funny stuff in here - it's split down the middle as for having and not having enough money.

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Justin

Great post! I enjoy great quotes from famous people. Definitely enjoyed.

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Foxy G.

Hi Glen: Just a note to let you know that I referenced you and your blog in Monday Morning Musings on my blog, Foxy G.'s Den of i-KNIT-quity today: http://bit.ly/169Nhv

Guest's picture

Famous Quotes are the best. Some may say that quoting is the act of stealing others intelligence, but I disagree. Thanks for this Post it made my day! =D

Guest's picture
mike95432

A state of mind printed in a shirt

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mike95432

A state of mind printed in a shirt.

Very very nice shirts for people who likes meaningful quotes!!

http://booo.spreadshirt.net

Guest's picture

I really like this post. Such quotes can be both inspirational or entertaining - or both!

One additional one I like: "Rule #1 is never lose money. Rule #2 is don't forget Rule #1" - Warren Buffet

Very true for managing your finances.

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Guest

One of my favorites...
"I have all the money I'll ever need. As long as I'm dead by four o'clock."
- Henny Youngman

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What a great post. some of those are so funny. Most are very true.

Guest's picture

What a great post. Some of those are so funny. Most are very true.

Guest's picture
GC

"Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune." - Jim Rohn

It's uncommon to have one without the other!

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Guest

"I must say I hate money but it's the lack of it that I hate most."

- Katherine Mansfield

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Mike Law

Who is James W Frick? I'm from England and I haven'tg a clue.

Googled the name and just came up with his quote!

Guest's picture

Very good quotes!
My favorite is the one from Will Smith: "Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like."
And also this one: "It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy." - George Lorimer (too many people lost their friends, their love and they families just because of their work.)

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I like saying of Benjamin Franklin. ''Early to bed, early to rise, keeps you healthy, wealthy and wise." Yes, because I want to be healthy. My current age is 60 years old. Thank you.

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"Money is like a sixth sense - and you can't make use of the other five without it." - William Somerset Maugham = I love this quote.

Its true

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equalityjones

money aint everything, not having it is- kanye west

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miracle

this is funny and cute

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bbq

i have another one but there's a little language in it- Just Warning.

money is like a Sl*t, you aren't the first to have it and certainly not the last. -unknown.

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Guest

#33 is a quote by Will Rogers. Just because celebrates use others quotes doesn't mean they should get credit for them. Maybe you should do a little more fact checking before posting something like this, I'm sure there are a lot more mistakes like this.

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Vanessa

"Money won't make you happy... but everybody wants to find out for themselves."
Zig Ziglar

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Harkin

money can't buy you love, but can get you the pink jacket. -Haykay

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Guesture

Money has no intrinsic value. It is merely a tool to exchange goods and services. If you do not spend money then you're no good and of no service.

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madhan

Checkout these quotes too.. They are good
http://money.hotinit.com/2012/05/top-money-quotes.html

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Kilgore

#18 is NOT by G.B. Shaw. Its from Mark Twain's Notebook

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Sanchez McKenzie

Money is like a drug some need it an some don't an some live for it an others die for it.

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ED

One of my favorites: Winning isn't everything,but it sure beats whats in second place.

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Liendor

Money always makes me happy! The only time it didn't was when I lost it

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Guest

Hard to believe that Ayn Rand gets things so wrong and yet is so widely quoted. She says that money "will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver." Yet for many people, money does drive their lives. They're like alcoholics whose pursuit of the drug is all consuming. See Franklin's quote #52.

Also, Rand says, "Money is the barometer of a society's true virtue." It may be the barometer of a society's priorities, as Frick points out in #60, but a society's virtue is measured by its compassion.