The Needless 9: Insane Luxury Items For You to Laugh At
The frugal spender may not have all the things that money can buy, but she will have one thing it can't: the ability to laugh at the absurd products other people waste their savings on. The Internet's bursting at its golden-stitched seams with luxury lifestyle sites promoting outrageously expensive or unnecessary products, so have a chuckle at some items you'll need to see to believe.
24 Karat Gold Toilet Paper
At $250 per roll, this gold-embossed toilet paper may just be the most offensively ostentatious bathroom product ever peddled. Buyers can get their TP custom-engraved, or go with standard designs like a rose or "Happy Birthday." Truly, a product for an ass.
Want to experience all the joy of walking a dog without actually giving your pet any exercise?! Then shell out $125 for this "luxurious, fashionable" pet stroller.
This ode to excess is caked in edible gold dust, wrapped in 23 Karat edible gold sheets, and marks the official moment when the "cupcake craze" became just plain crazy.
$50 Olive Oil
You need not be outrageously expensive to make the Needless 9 — just unnecessarily expensive. Enter Five Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil, which costs four times as much as the steaks it will be sharing the pan with.
A Sports Car Hovercraft
Already have a Lamborghini and a boat? Then all you're missing is this sleek, personal hovercraft, which makes the list based on pure impracticality.
Bottle Opener Shirt
Paying a little extra for a shirt you love is one thing, but paying extra for a shirt because it has a "strategically positioned extra layer that helps prevent bottle twist-off-induced-tearing?" Buy a bottle opener for a dollar.
One of Kind Shirt
...And while we're on the topic of gimmicky shirts, these Frankenstein shirts — made from the fabrics of ten other, probably reasonably priced shirts — cost $200 a piece.
$90,000 Steampunk Pens
"Steampunk" is a genre personified by the Will Smith movie Wild, Wild West, and frankly, he's the only person with enough disposable income to even consider purchasing these Montblanc monstrosities.
And finally: this $50,000 penile policy comes with the purchase of three pairs of underwear from Canadian company UNDZ. Actually, maybe the most shrewd purchase on the list...