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Portacool 3,900 CFM, 3-Speed Evaporative Cooler

What's cooler than being cool? ICE COLD! 

What's more portable than being cool? PORTACOOL!

In the Box:

  • (1) Portacool PAC163SV1A1 Evaporative Cooler, 3,900 CFM, 3-Speed, 900sqft cooling capacity, Black

Amazon Echo Connect Black

Isn't that what we're all looking for? Some kind of connection... *stares wistfully out the window for three hours* 

Specs:

  • Dimensions: 5.1" x 3.5" x 1.2" (130 mm x 90 mm x 29.5 mm)
  • Weight: 4.5 oz. (126.9 grams)
  • Alexa: The Alexa App for Echo Connect is compatible with iOS (9.0 or higher) and Android (5.0 or higher)
  • Wi-Fi: Dual-band Wi-Fi supports 802.11 a/b/g/n/ac (2.4 and 5 GHz) networks. Does not support connecting to ad-hoc (or peer-to-peer) Wi-Fi networks

In the Box (item will ship in a brown non-retail box):

  • Echo Connect
  • Power Adapter
  • Micro-USB Cable
  • RJ11 Splitter
  • Phone Cable

QNAP TS-328 Personal Cloud NAS Storage System

Nas Rules. Who's the best electronic storage? Ain't no best. East, West, North, South, flossed out, greedy. I embrace y'all with napalm and-oh that's a little violent for a write-up, tapping out.

Hardware Specifications:

CPU
Realtek Quad-core ARM Cortex-A53 (64-bit), RTD 1296, 1.4GHz

Encryption Acceleration
Yes

System Memory
2GB DDR4 RAM (not expandable)

Guard Dog Proshield 2 Bulletproof Backpack

Like a regular backpack, but it can withstand a gunshot. It's "ideal for youths." This is a real product that exists. I don't have any jokes. 

Height
20.0'' (50.8 cm)

Width
15.0'' (38.1 cm)

Depth
9.5'' (24.1 cm)

Volume
2,280 cubic inches (37 lts)

Weight
3.86 lb (1753 gr)

In the Box:

  • (1) Guard Dog Security Proshield 2 Black Bulletproof Backpack

Shiatsu Neck and Shoulder Massager with Heat

Much better than asking a coworker for a neck massage, unless you miss the close breathing in your ear and weird comments. And YES, I'm talking about YOU, GLENN. I MADE A REPORT TO HR ALREADY, BUDDY.

In the box:

  • (1) Shiatsu Back Neck and Shoulder Massager with Heat
  • (1) Carry Bag
  • (1) Wall AC Adapter
  • (1) Car Adapter
  • (1) User Manual

Fujifilm FinePix XP130 Waterproof Digital Camera

It's 2018! No one wants to see your vacation slides from Costa Rica again, Marge.

Full Specs Here

Astro 7-in-1 Workbench DIY Work Station

The perfect workbench for any project even if the project is just "owning a workbench." 

Specifications

Function Modes:
7 (workbench, saw horse, scaffold, platform, car creeper, dolly and hand truck)

Weight Capacity:
500 lb capacity in scaffold/platform mode, 330 lb capacity in other modes

Dimensions:
43" x 21.75" work surface, 20.5" to 30.75" height

Weight:
34 lbs.

In the box:

  • (1) Astro Pneumatic 55670 7-in-1 Workbench DIY Work Station

Bruntmor Cast Iron Favorites

I was told to season my pan, but my Man Spice (crushed Doritos and Lawry's Season Salt) didn't seem to stick... I think I'm missing something of the core concept...

Christian Dior Sunglasses

Sunglasses, because wrapping your face in plastic wrap and coloring it in with a marker is dangerous on a lot of different levels.