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bObsweep Pro Robotic Vacuum Cleaner

Anyone remember that drinking game? Where you'd drink every time someone said "Hi, Bob" on the Bob Newhart Show?

...Yeah, me neither, I'm a millennial... Just trust me. Now who wants to trade pogs or Razor scooter or whatever the hell we kids are into now?

In the box:

  • (1) bObsweep Pro Robotic Vacuum Cleaner
  • (1) Docking Station
  • (1) Remote
  • (1) User Manual

Hisense Sero 8 Quad-Core 16GB Tablet

I core, you core, we all core for QUAD-CORE!!!!!

Specifications:

Operating System:
Android KitKat 4.4

Display:
8" PureColor LED-backlit WXGA (1280 x 800)
IPS Panel
Touchscreen

CPU:
1.4GHz Cortex A9 Quad-Core Processor

Memory:
1GB DDR2

Storage:
16GB Internal
microSD Card Slot (up to 32GB, card not included)

Wireless:
802.11 b/g/n

Bluetooth:
3.0

Camera:
0.3 MP Front Camera
2.0 MP Rear Camera

Audio:
Integrated

Ports:
1 x Micro USB
1 x Headphone / Mic-in
1 x Micro SD Card Reader

Battery:
7 hours; Lithium Ion Battery

Dimensions:
8.2" x 5.1" x 0.41"

Weight:
0.99 lbs

In the box:

Huntspoint Gold Wagyu Brisket - Your Choice

Riskiest meats, ranked: 

* Dented can SPAM 
* Vending machine bologna sandwich in an abandoned mental hospital cafeteria 
* Steak from a place that misspells it "stake" on the menu 
* Steamed Hams 

  • Packaged accordingly with the Wagyu Beef Standards; Shipped COLD via FedEx!

Arlo Pro Security System - Your Choice

And yea, ye shall catch the errant miscreant with the net like the sea sailors of old, snaggin evil-gilled fish from the depths that would gladly feat on their eyes. And like those nets, this mesh is made from strong fibers... only it's fiber-optics and... uh...

Rachio 2nd Generation Smart Sprinkler Controller

Remember when they kept trying to make Aquaman cooler and more useful so instead of just being a really fast swimmer and able to talk to fish he could also CONTROL water and also he had a harpoon for a hand for a while and after that he had a hand made of water? Comic books are ridiculous. 

App Compatibility
iOS 10.3+ and Android 4.4+; subject to change. Web app available on most browsers.  Mobile app is required to connect the controller to Wi-Fi.

Integrations  
Works with Nest, Amazon Alexa, The Google Assistant, IFTTT, Wink, Control4, Nexia and others.

Zones 
16-zone model

Size and Weight
 -   Dimensions: 9.25" L x 5.625" H x 1.625" W
-    Weight: 1.2 Lbs

Power Requirements  

The Rachio controller must be connected to the AC power adapter included. DC Transformers are not supported. 

COROS LINX Helmet CPSC Shine

Use the phone connectivity to take conference calls from your bike and you still won't be as annoying as the person who dials in late and wants you to recap the entire meeting for their benefit. COROS LINX - Specifications

Material
Polycarbonate shell with EPS impact foam

Ventilation
Aerodynamic optimized, 15 vents

Speaker Type
Bone conduction transducers

Speaker Frequency Response
100Hz-20KHz

Microphone
Wind resistant, top mounted

Battery
Rechargeable Lithium; 10+ hrs play/talk time

Compatibility
Bluetooth 4.1; iOS, Android devices*

Certified
Consumer Product Safety Commission

One Year Warranty
Impact exchange program

Medium
Large

21 1/4-23"
22 1/2-24"

54-58 cm
57-61 cm

6 3

Lenovo M93P Intel Core i5 Tiny Desktop

This may be listed as a Tiny PC but you don't have to have a small business to take control of its many features. Go Big Business with it! Chomp a cigar and slap a steak while adjusting your watch chain! sit in big leather chairs with your big leathery face and talk about colonialism... Side note, the encyclopedias in our offices are about 100 years out of date.

Specifications:

Processor:
Intel Core i5-4570T 2.9GHz (Turbo up to 3.6GHz)

Amazon Fire TV Cube Media Player

Y'know the setup: the former Eastern Bloc scientist is rushing sweatily through a train station, clutching the Amazon Fire Cube to his chest. He catches the eye of the everyman U.S. Operative with the jawline who's there to help him defect. But just then the Cube begins to smoke! The crowd scatters, coughing! The Fire Cube bursts open revealing... STEAMING FAJITAS for everyone! Children rejoice! (Hey, this is a Woot write-up, y'think we were gonna go dark on this one?)

Size
3.4" x 3.4" x 3.0" (86.1 mm x 86.1 mm x 76.9 mm)

Weight
16.4 oz (465 g)

Processor
Quad-core up to 1.5 GHz | ARM 4xCA53

GPU
Mali450 MP3

Storage
16 GB internal

Memory
2 GB

Wi-Fi connectivity
Dual-band, dual-antenna Wi-Fi (MIMO) for faster streaming and fewer dropped connections than standard Wi-Fi.

Ninja Blender Food Processor, Intelli-Sense Touchscreen

In the Box:

(1) Ninja Blender/Food Processor with Intelli-Sense Touchscreen, 1200-Watt Smart Sensor Base, Spiralizer, 72oz Pitcher, 64oz Bowl, and 24oz Cup (CT682SP)

  • 1200-Watt base with a Touchscreen Display
  • 72 oz. Total Crushing Pitcher
  • 8-cup Precision Processor Bowl
  • 24 oz. High Speed Blender Cup
  • Auto-Spiralizer with 2 Spiralizing Discs: Spaghetti and Fettuccine